₦airaland Forum

Nawaooooo

Ablemed:
I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end.

Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life.

And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down)

So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to

I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe

I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living??

Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me

Don't blame your parents, they spoiled you but didn't deprive you of love and good things.

You should reinvent yourself and try to be the kind of man you want to be. You're not a kid anymore, your destiny is in your hands now...

You are not going to fail if you start again... Na failures win pass, you just have to get up again and again

How come

I was once like you,even worst cause my mom pampered me till I wasted her resources.I only came to realize I was wasting away when she lost everything on me My guy ,no one told me to double my hustle to get back on my feet.Now I pay all the bills ,my mom is happy and very proud of the son she always wanted . Bro you are a man ,no excuses

This is a clear case of autism.
Your parents have no blame in this. If u lock a socialble person up with chains, ghey wld find a way to socialize.
Socializing is not your strongest point, it can be worked on but u will have to put in alot of effort. You are just not wired for that.

Autisimis a fairly recent diagnosis so alot of Nigerian parents dont know about it and how to handle it.
Socializing can be real exhausting for you, dont beat yourself up for this. Just do things that makes you happy.
You will be fine

Ablemed:
Can therapy work for me?? isn't it to late at 24years of age?? I just finished calling mum now and accused her of everything that has happened to me, I told her I don't want to hear from her, not anytime soon. I'm tried calling my Dad to but his line is switch off, I just wanna cut both of them off, They put me in this mess that I have to fight alone now

no body put you in any mess. You just dey find who you blame because many of us are like this too. At least you even saved that much during nysc. Some of use only carry dat month money wey dem pay us come back house. Secondly, which kind business u wan even think of with that amount. Even I can’t think of a business for 270k. Oga brace yourself, u still get time. And u must not always agree or listen to your parents. You be adult. Make your own decisions and take full responsibility

Over pampering sometimes causes problems
Nairalanders, am begging for 3k to feed my wife & two kids. Since i lost my job, its been hell. Pls help us before my kids die of starvation.
0200565164 GTB Emmanuel oyedele
God bless u all

Give me a holler let's chat i could be of help

Michelle70:
If military interest him, i think he should go for it.
He is broken and he should be adviced to go for what he finds joy in.

If u finds joy in what u do, happiness will come at no cost,
but if u do not like what u do, it will just break u down fully until u feel like there is nothing to lose in this life.

Believe me, that feeling is deadly

You can go on his behalf.

Michelle70:
i think its very immature of me to say this but i hate ur parents.

You are not helping matters with such statement

I was once in your shoes, but the first son and not the only son.
I rebelled and luckily I made good choices in life.

In conclusion, my parents, uncles, aunts and siblings are proud of my achievements so far in life.

You are conscious of your mental state, that's a great step to success.

Suicide is never an option!!!

Dont commit suicide, and do not join the military. That one sef na suicide for someone of your disposition. If I may, I suggest you do not go back to your parents house for now. Use the money you saved to rent a small apartment somewhere and then take up a teaching job for a year! If ajebutter like you can survive teaching job and on a teaching job salary with its yes sir, yes ma eye service for a year, you can survive anything and anywhere! You are just 24, you can still unlearn and relearn a lot of things if you could just apply your mind to it. my joy is that you at least know your problem. Some people in similar shoes as you never even realized what kind of mess they were in until they wake up one day at 50yrs and their lives are totally ruined.

Ablemed:
I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end.

Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life.

And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down)

So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to

I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe

I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living??

Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me

The honest truth is that, if you pass through what we went through, you might be under 6ft by now. Thank God for the family you find ur sef in.

I strongly advice you take that money to your parents and I’m sure they’ll advice you on the business to do..
I hope you heed to my advice.

Ablemed:
I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end.

Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life.

And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down)

So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to

I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe

I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living??

Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me

Your parent did not too well..They did that shit out of.love. Now you have to forgive them and move on with your life. You really have to. You want to join military so u will be able to hide under that umbrella. That as well will amount to waste of time
Pls join JCI, Rotary or Lion club that I ay your social life will come emerge very fast. Read this book by Dale Carnegie,how to make friends and influence people. Pls do this for a start.
You will learn a lot ....after a while like two years come back for some unlearning .

Also stop masturbation. ..it's deadly.
Don't start dating seriously except you have build ursef or else you will turn to a simp. Women can spot simp from 100km.
I know very soon Ur parent will start asking you when you won marry. Ignore them but don't fight them. Keep promising them .

Man go build urself pls

Ablemed:
Can therapy work for me?? isn't it to late at 24years of age?? I just finished calling mum now and accused her of everything that has happened to me, I told her I don't want to hear from her, not anytime soon. I'm tried calling my Dad to but his line is switch off, I just wanna cut both of them off, They put me in this mess that I have to fight alone now

My brother remove that suicide from ur head unless u want ur parents dead.

Who told u that u are useless? Who told u that unless u bring girls home or get along with them before u are counted as a man?

A guy i know recently tested for HIV and he is ur age mate.

Your parents loved u n want the best from u. U have to understand this


Please get closer to God, join a bible believing church n start from a group and be committed so as to overcome that self service of a thing.

U can start by getting your self a laptop and start learning skills online. Or rather learn a trade for like 6 months.

Please don't ever allow the devil to mislead u thinking u are useless.

There are people that are gifted with how to communicate ideas.. I too wish i was like that...but i found out that i could better communicate through writing, so now i own blogs and it makes me money in many digit monthly. Most times i will be with my system without talking to anyone for days.

Look deep inside u there is something God put inside of u.

That military weh de ur head na ur village people wan kill u soo... Leave military how much them they pay them? Suffer head work

Ulunne777:
You can go on his behalf.

it doesnt interest me, so why should i?

My Take
We had similar childhood but only that I went to a boarding school and I was given a bit of free hand, not free like free in the real sense of free but it was slightly relaxed compared to u and I'm the first child. U quite aware of ur situation and U seem the disciplined type so U are very good to go.
When I was ur age, I was an e-diot
I was good for nothing
I wasn't disciplined
I was quiet on the outside but inside, I was morally bankrupt. I no even get vision of what and where I intend to be in life.
U are very good to go. 24 isn't a bad age to evolve and grow. U are doing fine. All U need to do is gain ur parents trust. On some days, U self go turn am to rough like U did when they wanted to choose ur PPA for U. Don't run from them, don't get too rebellious. Trust me, they didn't spoil ur life. All they showed was love and affection.
I am 37 and I'm partially stupid, making wrong decisions and I'm still growing under the guidance of my parents. Though we don't live together,I make my own money but I run to them a lot sometimes just for knowledge or some form of guidance. If not for that affection and constant check self wey Dem show me, I most likely would have been dead. I wasn't violent or anything but I had tendencies to grow wings that could ruin me. I exhibited the traits many times.
My dear brother, U ARE DOING WELL. ALL U NEED TO DO IS GAIN UR PARENTS TRUST IN MAKING UR OWN DECISION

Ablemed:
Can therapy work for me?? isn't it to late at 24years of age?? I just finished calling mum now and accused her of everything that has happened to me, I told her I don't want to hear from her, not anytime soon. I'm tried calling my Dad to but his line is switch off, I just wanna cut both of them off, They put me in this mess that I have to fight alone now

Bro I understand your plight, you are not too old to see a therapist, and also telling your parent to stay out of your life is not a good idea because you might not need them now but I tell you, you will need them in the future and also people telling you not to join the military are not telling you the truth, Bro don't allow people view about you define you ,you can be what ever you want to be if you make up your mind. Give dat military plan a try. And also be positive in your mind it is well bro.

Ablemed:
I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end.

Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life.

And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down)

So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to

I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe

I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living??

Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me

Borrow me 20k from that ur 270k
I go pay u back next month with 5k interest.
Back to ur story
Baba na u nor wan social
I grew up like u but i done they explore from secondary school.
I be gentle innocent child for house that obey all the rules but immediately I leave house that's all
NYSC supposed expose u small na
Abeg my request first
If na Lagos u dey, just DM make I expose u small
U nor need any fucking therapy
Just 2 to 3 experience

Michelle70:
why do i feel so sad for u?

Guy abeg try get girlfriend, at first it will be boring as fvck but when u both connect, she will always give u a reason to smile.

The problem is now finding a girl from all these jezebels

U don't even talk abt someone that they do monitor all his footstep so telle where him take knack the babe

Ablemed:
Can therapy work for me?? isn't it to late at 24years of age?? I just finished calling mum now and accused her of everything that has happened to me, I told her I don't want to hear from her, not anytime soon. I'm tried calling my Dad to but his line is switch off, I just wanna cut both of them off, They put me in this mess that I have to fight alone now

Guy, you need therapy. Put your mind to it and it will work for you. Please work on that. You can afford it. Find out those who are specialists in your area of need.

Fighting your parents won't solve your problem. They did their best based on their understanding and the need to protect you. Appreciate their efforts even if it has it's negative effect. No parent is perfect. You learn on the job and pray for God's guidance and blessings.

Ulunne777:
You can go on his behalf.

What is your problem with the military? And you even said he should join if he is a northerner.. Northeners die in the Frontline like others so don't be deceived.

Ablemed:
Can therapy work for me?? isn't it to late at 24years of age?? I just finished calling mum now and accused her of everything that has happened to me, I told her I don't want to hear from her, not anytime soon. I'm tried calling my Dad to but his line is switch off, I just wanna cut both of them off, They put me in this mess that I have to fight alone now

Nigga U not a white kid.
Yes U want to express urself but don't make ur parents regret the decisions of loving U a bit too much. What's wrong with U kid? Whatever curse that came from the gift of loving U too much is the baggage life wants U to deal with. Figure it out properly. THIS IS THE BAGGAGE LIFE HAS HANDED OVER TO U FROM U BEING PRIVILEGED. HANDLE IT RIGHT KIDDO. U ARE DOING TOOO WELL IN MY OPINION

Tayorshd2:
U don't even talk abt someone that they do monitor all his footstep so telle where him take knack the babe

Oh, i did not reason that part, OP i feel sorry for u but at this point, u are completely helpless

Dear OP,
I really feel for you. I am happy you are aware of your situation. Next, it's time to retrain yourself to someone you want to become. I have some steps to help you through this stage of life. It's not possible to state all here, but if you can message me I would help you out.

Hi, there are a lot of foolish comments from nitwits here. That I observed. They have nothing meaningful to say yet can’t respectfully shut the f**k up. My friend, everyone on the planet has his/her problems. Fight yours and be a better person. I had mine while growing up, I fought and I’m still fighting it. I am far better than what I used to be. No sorry for you, sorry!

Bro, that military is exactly what you need to break this state you are in. Extreme problem requires extreme solutions. If others survive, you go survive am.

Smoke some ganga and then go out to relate...see how your shyness disappears and thank me later.

You

Bro, first of kudos to you for dictating the issues you have a lot of people can't get to this level you're now.

Then next is, stop thinking it's too late because it's not. You can decide right now to take charge of your life and work at it till you become the man you want to be.

This is my advise. Don't give up on yourself or start thinking that you're done with because you're not.

You can reach out to people around you and talk to them about what you're experiencing and you'll be surprised to get the help you want.

Don't talk to people that will gossip with what you told them in confidence sha.