₦airaland Forum

flemsy15:
For me 'cane' hasn't yielded better results than 'words' used by the whites. All the areas we were flogged growing up , the whites tend to be doing much better. Areas like punctuality, hygiene, sincerity, not-stealing, Truthfulness, avoiding unnecessary noise making, avoiding unnecessary begging, orderliness, etc... the whites are performing better than us. Beating makes us see virtues as punishments

what do you base your statistics on to say the whites are better...

Enimin:
Hello retārd

Are you talking to God who gave that command through Solomon?

Theunbothered:
Stop using that Jewish fiction to justify torturing babies.

Is your existence a fiction?

it seems so.

IyaTola:
It's important to not spank, hit, or slap a child of any age. Babies and toddlers are especially unlikely to be able to make any connection between their behavior and physical punishment. They will only feel the pain of the hit. And don't forget that kids learn by watching adults, particularly their parents.

In fact, research shows in Nigeria that hitting kids can increase their risk of aggression, antisocial behavior and mental health problems later on. Spanking is also counterproductive when it comes to bonding with your toddler.

, so how do you help him understand or correct himself.

clems88:
Children are so stubborn this days. My 1 year son will do wrong and when he does it he knows , he starts looking at you. When you beat him he goes back to it so he will see what you will do again .

fxexperts:
You can't instruct 3year old on what to do. i doubt if you have a child yet, because I do. and I know everything about their behavior going forward . I have a lot of decorations in my house, broke able ceramic artifacts in my living room. when I got married newly every guest and family who visited when my wife was pregnant admired our decorations and they all made similar comment that when our baby start crawling at least we should pack up all the decorations and hide them all away that they will definitely break every single one of them. i believed but trust me my first child is over 6 now and not a single of those decoration was destroyed by any of them, how did we do it. by correction a little spanking each time they try to reach out to destroy anything, we didn't move any of those decorations and they learned from it. Yes i flog my 3 year old child but lightly and with love. I and my wife have an agreement never ever to flog any of them when we are just angry and emotional and we should always let them know the reason for the flogging i.e what they did wrong. Flogging is important for every child. but not heavy flogging. Or are you talking about my second child who if i spank her one she who give you two in return, or my first when he was about 2 years old and you give that angry first he will be the first rush you and start hitting you shouting and crying loud at the same time, i guess you will not correct those behaviors. as for me i corrected them and now no child of mine will dare act stubborn when i try to correct you.

@ bolded really

Anyway your opinion on this issue is duly noted.

But do you understand why she does what she does and why she does not understand what you are doing.

incogni2o:
I just beat my child this evening.

Tell me other ways to discipline her, She is 3 years old plus.

Mind you, I have corrected her severally on same reason.

Aha, its not only discipline but love also.

incogni2o:
Be careful Bro.

This is not a time to joke about this.

Future happiness is important.

Discipline a child firmly and also Love Dearly.

Prism:
Hello nairaland family

Before I begin let's define toddlerhood;

Toddler: 1-3 years. Preschooler: 3-5 years. School-aged: 5-12 years. Teenager: 13-18 years.

Is it necessary to start flogging toddlers?? I married a yoruba man And I noticed his sisters like flogging their kids including their toddlers. I'm not used to seeing little children being flogged not to talk of toddlers and I get this cringe feeling when I see it. Is it a cultural thing? Is that how the whole tribe Is like? Does flogging a child actually make him or her better Or is it not just child abuse
I do feel somehow seeing people flogging 2yr old, 3yr old kids. I feel somehow. What do you guys think

It appears that the side you came from did not know how to push proper home training to the child. I still flog my two years boy today for misbehaving, his sister that is about 5yrs has pass through that level of corrections and don't misbehave like the boy again. That is why Yorubas respect elders than any tribe in the country.

Prism:
Hello nairaland family

Before I begin let's define toddlerhood;

Toddler: 1-3 years. Preschooler: 3-5 years. School-aged: 5-12 years. Teenager: 13-18 years.

Is it necessary to start flogging toddlers?? I married a yoruba man And I noticed his sisters like flogging their kids including their toddlers. I'm not used to seeing little children being flogged not to talk of toddlers and I get this cringe feeling when I see it. Is it a cultural thing? Is that how the whole tribe Is like? Does flogging a child actually make him or her better Or is it not just child abuse
I do feel somehow seeing people flogging 2yr old, 3yr old kids. I feel somehow. What do you guys think

Nonsense.

boxer022:
She told you the truth and it is a well known fact. By the time they remember that mummy or daddy will cane them, they will desist from doing anything that might cause it.

Lies

Hmm, a black child will always be a black child, that is an interesting saying, and why is it believed to be true.

when i was little child, i remember, i always wanted to touch things, to climb to explore, so i was very curious as a child, and sometimes, it lead me to break stuff, i even copied chemistry stuff and made a little explosion (thank God for his protection). But as a black child i was not drawn to dark things if that is what you mean.

Now i get it, a black child is very expressive emotionally and can get out of hand that what it means, destroying items and not understanding the consequences. If that is what you mean i think i agree, even as adults black people tend to be like children, very emotional and cannot control themselves apparently they did not grow out of it.

Puberty also, black child wants to copy what he or she sees.

But black children also have great potentials, so the discipline should also be focused in helping them realize their gifts and strength.

Majesty33:
With technology and the way this world is now, every toddler needs to be disciplined cos little children misbehave on purpose. I have seen a toddler that stays with his grandparents and as little as he is, he walks out on them when he is angry and bangs the door. Although, the grand parents overlook such, but his mum got mad at him and spank his ass. Hmmm, as for me and my wife to be, I will spank my toddler when I start having kids. Also, a black child will always be a black child. Go to the western world, u see that most of them commits all sort of crime. Spare the rod and spoil the child.

mariahAngel:
There's no injustice worse than beating a child.
Whoever hurts a child will suffer the consequence(s).
There are other ways to discipline a child than torture.

You haven't seen anything.

mariahAngel:
There's no injustice worse than beating a child.
Whoever hurts a child will suffer the consequence(s).
There are other ways to discipline a child than torture.

It's obvious you're not of marriageable age talk less of having a child. How does beating a child amount to injustice? Please kindly stick to topics that are befitting of your age grades.

My daughter was as stubborn as a bull at age 1+. Always breaking things and slamming her head on the wall whenever she's angry (especially if you deny her something she wants). The moment I started using my hanger and tiny rod on her, that spirit of stubbornness and vandalism left her before she clocked 2 years. Now at 5, she has become a well behaved child that other parents want their children to emulate.

Who get time for nonsense?

I hated those who flogged me then, i grew up and I realized I didn't hate them enough, well no reason to hate but come on we're all human with just one life to live.

Torture is for animals, words are for human.
Most of those who flogs are lazy, incompetent, hypocrite, they can never be seen as role model and this frustrate then more to use torture.

Sometimes there is an element of luck. It seems something clicked in your child, and she made the connection

We should be grateful sometimes, it seems we forget that sometimes things conspire for good.

I can remember when i was a child, when my parent corrected me with beatings about food, to eat up, but it did not work, it was a word she said that made me eat more food, and she took her time to gently explain it for me. And i was sick, so it clicked for me in that moment.

I think Children are different and they have a mind of their own and their minds work differently, at a complex and fast pace, does not mean beating does not work though.

ravensckar:
It's obvious you're not of marriageable age talk less of having a child. How does beating a child amount to injustice? Please kindly stick to topics that are befitting of your age grades.

My daughter was as stubborn as a bull at age 1+. Always breaking things and slamming her head on the wall. The moment I started using my cloth hanger on her, that spirit of stubbornness and vandalism left her before she clocked 2 years. Today nko? She has become a well behaved child that other parents want their children to emulate.

Who get time for nonsense!

All these kind of questions sef -- so what is your alternative? Will they die as they are flogged like that? Do u not realise it's better to deal with things earlier than later? U want to instruct a baby, a child? That must be a joke!!!

Prism:
Hello nairaland family

Before I begin let's define toddlerhood;

Toddler: 1-3 years. Preschooler: 3-5 years. School-aged: 5-12 years. Teenager: 13-18 years.

Is it necessary to start flogging toddlers?? I married a yoruba man And I noticed his sisters like flogging their kids including their toddlers. I'm not used to seeing little children being flogged not to talk of toddlers and I get this cringe feeling when I see it. Is it a cultural thing? Is that how the whole tribe Is like? Does flogging a child actually make him or her better Or is it not just child abuse
I do feel somehow seeing people flogging 2yr old, 3yr old kids. I feel somehow. What do you guys think

there is nothing poor, about asking this question, it is an opportunity to review and understand children more. It can be an irritating discussion, since it seems apparent or obvious what the solution is, but that is human nature to keep asking.

I just talk with an adult today and this adult is still coping with family stress and dynamics. some Adults are very good at hiding their family problems.

being:
All these kind of questions sef -- so what is your alternative? Will they die as they are flogged like that? Do u not realise it's better to deal with things earlier than later? U want to instruct a baby, a child? That must be a joke!!!

SeriouslySense:
Sometimes there is an element of luck. It seems something clicked in your child, and she made the connection

Trust me, it's not luck. It's systematic! I've worked with children for many years to know that they can be mischievous naturally. Since they are protected by that 'cuteness factor' and 'natural innocence' their parents tend to let them have their way until those children become spoilt brat. For me, one of the first vow I made to my God is that I'm never gonna raise a brat as a child. Not in my house!

Funny enough, I rarely beat my children unless of course they have crossed the line. On several days, we're always running around and scattering the house together.
In summary, I do not believe that beating a child counts as maltreatment, it's a form of education (action & consequence). Not beating a child is even the biggest form of disservice to that child because most of us that turned out well today, it was cane that our parents used to put the fear of God in us. And today, we are thanking them for it.

haha, i agree with you, they are cunning and very smart, they have a complex mind. Little canning will do some good, with seriousness on the face or stern warning.

I agree sha, African child as far as my understanding goes, need sternness for their good. They need to learn decency, respect and boundaries.

you even ran with them to destroy some items to drain them off.

ravensckar:
Trust me, it's not luck. It's systematic! I've worked with children for many years to know that they can be mischievous naturally. Since they are protected by that 'cuteness factor' and 'natural innocence' their parents tend to let them have their way until those children become spoilt brat. For me, one of the first vow I made to my God is that I'm never gonna raise a brat as a child. Not in my house!

Funny enough, I rarely beat my children unless of course they have crossed the line. On several days, we're always running around and scattering the house together.
In summary, I do not believe that beating a child counts as maltreatment, it's a form of education (action & consequence). Not beating a child is even the biggest form of disservice to that child because most of us that turned out well today, it was cane that our parents used to put the fear of God in us. And today, we are thanking them for it.

Ain't we? We are until u see d larger system has no checks & balances... the west have checks & balances to deal with corruption.
U should also note what u deal with just 1 or 2 beatings, u can keep using words for years

Theunbothered:
That's why Nigerians are the best behaved worldwide

Lamasta:
Train up a child the way they should go and when they grow they will never depart from it...

There will only be issue when abuse sets in...

Abeg, those wey dem beat like kilode growing up in the name of way s/he should grow no be dem dey do hookup, yahoo etc?

clems88:
Children are so stubborn this days. My 1 year son will do wrong and when he does it he knows , he starts looking at you. When you beat him he goes back to it so he will see what you will do again .

I think children of nowadays- gen alpha also need prayers apart from the beatings which is v gud too.

SeriouslySense:
But do you understand why she does what she does and why she does not understand what you are doing.

Yes, because she forgets.

It's something as simple as greeting her elders when she first thing.

being:
I think children of nowadays- gen alpha also need prayers apart from the beatings which is v gud too.

Thats very right Bro.

But also wisdom.

[b][/b]

Joezik:
Most don't remember at that age

This is not true and u know it.. the only thing they will remember actually is beating not ur nicely put instruction.

Don't worry keep repeating your correction and also with care, dont show her your frustration or fears, show that you believe she can do it, your fears or frustration may show on your face and it may make her forget by choosing to forget the memory or moment, let her know its important. when she does what is right, let her know that what she did is nice. It may click in her that its pleasant to do that and she may not want to dare you or forget the memory, since she has found out that greeting is pleasant and she has become more confident of herself.

Children test their parents, they are trying to gain more control of their environment to meet their need for stimulation or learning or just playful, they will need time to learn at the pace they can assimilate since they are taking a lot of information even the information you do not say to them, they are very observant of their surroundings and will copy what they see and consistent discipline is required in a complimentary environment.

incogni2o:
Yes, because she forgets.

It's something as simple as greeting her elders when she first thing.

mariahAngel:
There's no injustice worse than beating a child.
Whoever hurts a child will suffer the consequence(s).
There are other ways to discipline a child than torture.

1)If you are at least up to 27 years old,
2)If you are not from a Classy and Rich background.
3)If you grew up in a Religious and Culturally inclined Home.
There is no way you can claim you were not wiped in the ass.
Infact I sure se you go don chop cain wella bcus you dey always sound like pikin wey go stubborn,wey go come still like to do nonsense well welll

IyaTola:
It's important to not spank, hit, or slap a child of any age. Babies and toddlers are especially unlikely to be able to make any connection between their behavior and physical punishment. They will only feel the pain of the hit. And don't forget that kids learn by watching adults, particularly their parents.

In fact, research shows in Nigeria that hitting kids can increase their risk of aggression, antisocial behavior and mental health problems later on. Spanking is also counterproductive when it comes to bonding with your toddler.

I don't know where all these jokes of a research come from! Hw can u tell me toddlers can't connect beating and bad behaviour-- do u hav kids ?nephews, nieces? Mental health?? Who are the most depressed kids in d world- Nigerians or americans.. U must be a troll!! Aggressive? Have u seen dt recent video of d white kid scattering d room? Can u even imagine such in Nigeria?

Prism:
Hello nairaland family

Before I begin let's define toddlerhood;

Toddler: 1-3 years. Preschooler: 3-5 years. School-aged: 5-12 years. Teenager: 13-18 years.

Is it necessary to start flogging toddlers?? I married a yoruba man And I noticed his sisters like flogging their kids including their toddlers. I'm not used to seeing little children being flogged not to talk of toddlers and I get this cringe feeling when I see it. Is it a cultural thing? Is that how the whole tribe Is like? Does flogging a child actually make him or her better Or is it not just child abuse
I do feel somehow seeing people flogging 2yr old, 3yr old kids. I feel somehow. What do you guys think

there is a fine line between corporal punishment and abuse, but some toddler do need to be restrained and often punished (however a parent see fit)

SeriouslySense:
Don't worry keep repeating your correction and also with care, dont show her your frustration or fears, show that you believe she can do it, your fears or frustration may show on your face and it may make her forget by choosing to forget the memory or moment, let her know its important. when she does what is right, let her know that what she did is nice. It may click in her that its pleasant to do that and she may not want to dare you or forget the memory, since she has found out that greeting is pleasant and she has become more confident of herself.

Children test their parents, they are trying to gain more control of their environment to meet their need for stimulation or learning or just playful, they will need time to learn at the pace they can assimilate since they are taking a lot of information even they information you do not say to them, they are very observant of their surroundings and will copy what they see and consistent discipline is required.

Thanks for this, its so easy to forget what I do before.

That feeling of frustration has to be consciously controlled.

Appreciate