I have been dating this guy for over 2 years. When we started dating, he had no job and I always encouraged him to get something doing no matter how small because he was always relying on his parents then.

He got jobs but quit working without telling me, I got to find out later. Due to these issues, he couldn't afford to pay for his apartment, so he had to relocate to his parents house.

He got a job in the same area as his parents house and he only looked for it because I told him I wasn't comfortable with him not working, as someone in his late 20s. As a lady, I try to make sure I work, plan my life and look for opportunities with prospects, but he doesn't do these things. He is comfortable with the way things are going for him.

He's been working for some months now but there is nothing to show for it, he is not even trying to get a high paying job, start a business, learn a skill or leave his comfort zone.
Mind you, I don't ask him for anything since he is not even doing well for himself yet.

This guy is proposing marraige, but I don't want to accept because he doesn't have a vision, neither does he have concrete plans or prospect. I'm afraid getting married to him would mean I'll be carrying all the burden while married, since he is even comfortable with the way things are for him now. I'm tired of having this discussion with him.

Please I need suggestions on what you'd likely do if you find yourself in my situation.

With what you narrated, why is the relationship still on?

To avoid diff rounds of stories that touch later,since the guy is not having a vision and plans for his life it is better to stop the relationship because he that can't plan for his life will definately not plan for the future of your marriage esp the kids

.Having vision and life plans determines one's future.

Mindlog:
With what you narrated, why is the relationship still on?

I stayed because I thought it's not okay to leave a relationship once you get into it. I also thought it was a temporary issue and timing. It seems I was wrong.

Exquisitely:

I stayed because I thought it's not okay to leave a relationship once you get into it. I also thought it was a temporary issue and timing. It seems I was wrong.

It is okay to leave a relationship when it is draining you, as not all relationship should end in marriage.

Lemme take a wild guess...
This guy comes from a family that is "okay" ...

You can only help who wants to be helped .

Exquisitely:
I have been dating this guy for over 2 years. When we started dating, he had no job and I always encouraged him to get something doing no matter how small because he was always relying on his parents then.

He got jobs but quit working without telling me, I got to find out later. Due to these issues, he couldn't afford to pay for his apartment, so he had to relocate to his parents house.

He got a job in the same area as his parents house and he only looked for it because I told him I wasn't comfortable with him not working, as someone in his late 20s. As a lady, I try to make sure I work, plan my life and look for opportunities with prospects, but he doesn't do these things. He is comfortable with the way things are going for him.

He's been working for some months now but there is nothing to show for it, he is not even trying to get a high paying job, start a business, learn a skill or leave his comfort zone.
Mind you, I don't ask him for anything since he is not even doing well for himself yet.

This guy is proposing marraige, but I don't want to accept because he doesn't have a vision, neither does he have concrete plans or prospect. I'm afraid getting married to him would mean I'll be carrying all the burden while married, since he is even comfortable with the way things are for him now. I'm tired of having this discussion with him.

Please I need suggestions on what you'd likely do if you find yourself in my situation.

Why won't he propose when he has seen you will cater for his lazy ass. The choice is yours.

HarlequinLekex:
To avoid diff rounds of stories that touch later,since the guy is not having a vision and plans for his life it is better to stop the relationship because he that can't plan for his life will definately not plan for the future of your marriage esp the kids

.Having vision and life plans determines one's future.

Thank you

Mindlog:


It is okay to leave a relationship when it is draining you, as not all relationship should end in marriage.

Learnt something new today, this is true

Fahvvy:
Lemme take a wild guess...
This guy comes from a family that is "okay" ...

Even if his family is okay, he should do something for himself. His family would not have been okay if they behaved like him

lomprico:


Why won't he propose when he has seen you will cater for his lazy ass. The choice is yours.

I don't mind contributing in marriage, but I can't bear the burden alone

If someone is already a dead beat before marriage, they will be a whole new level of dead beat after marriage.

Exquisitely:
I have been dating this guy for over 2 years. When we started dating, he had no job and I always encouraged him to get something doing no matter how small because he was always relying on his parents then.

He got jobs but quit working without telling me, I got to find out later. Due to these issues, he couldn't afford to pay for his apartment, so he had to relocate to his parents house.

He got a job in the same area as his parents house and he only looked for it because I told him I wasn't comfortable with him not working, as someone in his late 20s. As a lady, I try to make sure I work, plan my life and look for opportunities with prospects, but he doesn't do these things. He is comfortable with the way things are going for him.

He's been working for some months now but there is nothing to show for it, he is not even trying to get a high paying job, start a business, learn a skill or leave his comfort zone.
Mind you, I don't ask him for anything since he is not even doing well for himself yet.

This guy is proposing marraige, but I don't want to accept because he doesn't have a vision, neither does he have concrete plans or prospect. I'm afraid getting married to him would mean I'll be carrying all the burden while married, since he is even comfortable with the way things are for him now. I'm tired of having this discussion with him.

Please I need suggestions on what you'd likely do if you find yourself in my situation.

I beg you with Heaven and Earth do not marry a visionless man or else you'll suffer and suffer well.
You'll become despised and frustrated.
You'll later divorce or start dealing with abuse.
Later you'll have disturbed mental health
You'll loose yourself and start living for your Children
You'll forget you came alone to this life and you also deserve to "live"
You'll die with the source of your happiness just being your Children and not yourself.

With these few points of mine, I hope I've been able to dissuade you and not to confuse you that that man is a no no
Find your type
Someone who sees growth as mandatory

your acquaintance is increasing the comfort of his comfort zone

Op All the advice given to you so far are superb and if you want progress in your life you better adhere to them. Hmmm a young guy who is healthy and fully able but don't have prospect, comfortable in a struggling situation, is not a husband material at all.

It is better to be single, happy and burden free than to be in a pathetic marriage.

You can marry him if you are ready to be the breadwinner and take care of all responsibility in the marriage

Such a robust decorated healthy leech.
This one na eel that knows how to suck blood.

Just like much of the advice already given, please cut off this relationship. I cannot see you being happy in a marriage with a lazy, unambitious and entitled man.

He would have so much time to play around in your marriage that he could begin a philandering life or develop other unhealthy addiction. The devil would give him something to do since he doesn't have a direction in life.

Exquisitely:
I have been dating this guy for over 2 years. When we started dating, he had no job and I always encouraged him to get something doing no matter how small because he was always relying on his parents then.

He got jobs but quit working without telling me, I got to find out later. Due to these issues, he couldn't afford to pay for his apartment, so he had to relocate to his parents house.

He got a job in the same area as his parents house and he only looked for it because I told him I wasn't comfortable with him not working, as someone in his late 20s. As a lady, I try to make sure I work, plan my life and look for opportunities with prospects, but he doesn't do these things. He is comfortable with the way things are going for him.

He's been working for some months now but there is nothing to show for it, he is not even trying to get a high paying job, start a business, learn a skill or leave his comfort zone.
Mind you, I don't ask him for anything since he is not even doing well for himself yet.

This guy is proposing marraige, but I don't want to accept because he doesn't have a vision, neither does he have concrete plans or prospect. I'm afraid getting married to him would mean I'll be carrying all the burden while married, since he is even comfortable with the way things are for him now. I'm tired of having this discussion with him.

Please I need suggestions on what you'd likely do if you find yourself in my situation.

take a walk, na for daytime them dey find black goat

are you dating my ex??
Ogbeni better leave that idiot so he doesn’t slow your life down. Marriage isn’t the be all, end all. Never ever consider marriage with a lazy man without ambition. You’ll regret every minute of it

Lucrativress:

I beg you with Heaven and Earth do not marry a visionless man or else you'll suffer and suffer well.
You'll become despised and frustrated.
You'll later divorce or start dealing with abuse.
Later you'll have disturbed mental health
You'll loose yourself and start living for your Children
You'll forget you came alone to this life and you also deserve to "live"
You'll die with the source of your happiness just being your Children and not yourself.

Thank you. This is the perfect summary

Ayinke93:


Thank you. This is the perfect summary

My sister abi o
Aiye love in this situation o ni da

WTF!!!!
How would a guy in his 20s in this current Nigeria without much going for him be thinking of marriage?

It's even worse that he is living such a complacent lifestyle.

Marry him at your own peril.

Nawa with una and wuna dating wahala o. Everytime.

I'm about to get married. I'm 26. I'm 28. He's rude. He doesn't have ambition. We met a year ago. We met less than 2 years ago. Should I go on? Does he love me? Our parents are this, that, that.

Hian!

Red flag

Pls take off

Run.

No prospect and ambition, and not even intelligent and hardworking?

Dear sister, if you know what's good for you, RUN!

So, if it's not Ok to leave a relationship, can you leave a marriage?

Exquisitely:

Learnt something new today, this is true