Ayinke93:


They chose to and I have no business with that. You are obviously the stupid one to jump from 10 miles away to drop trash comment on my post.

Yes. You are the most useless person in the world. Full of feminism. Nowadays! How many girls have visions, ambitions and innovatives? But men do marry these girls without thinking twice. Go out and do a research! Pick up 5 girls and interview them. Ask them what they want to become in life.. u will see their reply.

Don’t try it o. You are better off 1000yrs and single if this is your only option for a suitor. Marriage and kids with this type will make you run mad. He still needs to be living with his mummy, drinking breast milk. He’s not ready to be any body’s husband or father.

Thank you all for the suggestions. I'm grateful to this family

Ayinke93:


They chose to and I have no business with that. You are obviously the stupid one to jump from 10 miles away to drop trash comment on my post.

Hello Ayinke93 how are you doing today? Pls I just sent you a mail ... it's as regards tech

The fact that you are with this guy for two years means there's something altractive about him that got you this far. The fact that he couldn't afford a good life for himself is enough reason to get pissed with him and I understand. I will advice you to calm down, pray and make him attend life impacting programs. Right now, what you need is a man that gives you peace of mind, a man you're compactible with, your friend and soul mate. Don't ever think you will meet a man that will meet all your standards. If he's 60% okay, find a away around the remaining 40%.


Those advising you that he has no prospect are just pointing you to a wrong direction. What is the definition of a man who has no prospect? A man who has no 9am - 5pm job? People are kidding here. I will advice to try and get to the root of this, how come he could not keep a job for that long, until you analyse all these you may not be able to help him. Money is important in every relationship infact money is importantar but then instead of complaining this could be the reason why God brought you together so your strength can sharpen
his weakness and you guys can figure out this problem.... He may just have bad spending habit, he doesn't know how to safe or he lives extra outside his income.

I would never find myself in such situation but as for you thats already there, I'll advise if you dump him. Maybe then he'll sit up and get his acts together.

If you feel you can't leave him, then go ahead and marry him but you go old pass your age by the time you begin to carry family burden all alone while he continues living a nonchalant life.

He knows you're hardworking and is trying to leverage on that by marrying you so he can relax.

Dont be blinded by your feelings. The harsh reality will open your eyes after marriage by what time it will be too late to do anything.

ufotty2001:

Yes. You are the most useless person in the world. Full of feminism. Nowadays! How many girls have visions, ambitions and innovatives? But men do marry these girls without thinking twice. Go out and do a research! Pick up 5 girls and interview them. Ask them what they want to become in life.. u will see their reply.

Wait o, I thought you men don't like achieving women.


So, who are ones marrying these NFA girls?

Exquisitely:
Thank you all for the suggestions. I'm grateful to this family

Please leave this guy.

I can assure you that if you look very well, you will find a hard working man who will contribute equally to the well being of your home.



There are good men out there.


It's not your job to be the mother of a man-baby, to raise him, feed him, nurse him, clean up after him and still take care of yourself and children!


You are in the best position to save yourself before it's too late.

I say again, leave him now.

Saintmary:


Please leave this guy.

I can assure you that if you look very well, you will find a hard working man who will contribute equally to the well being of your home.



There are good men out there.


It's not your job to be the mother of a man-baby, to raise him, feed him, nurse him, clean up after him and still take care of yourself and children!


You are in the best position to save yourself before it's too late.

I say again, leave him now.

Are you married ?
How old are you ?

The number of women flocking Redemption camp every day praying for husbands does not support your claim.

A 32 year old UK educated Msc holder just became a 5th wife to a monarch almost 20 years her senior.

You ladies are either decieving people or doing this to mislead young ladies...

A woman in Nigeria of today has to think twice before walking out of a relationship, men plenty wey wan straff but very few are willing to marry.

So if a woman cherishes marriage, she will sacrifice and tolerate somethings.

But if the poster does not care about ending up like tonto dikeh, iyabo ojo who are living as singles then she may take your advise.

oldienavie:

Are you married ?
How old are you ?

The number of women flocking Redemption camp every day praying for husbands does not support your claim.

A 32 year old UK educated Msc holder just became a 5th wife to a monarch almost 20 years her senior.

You ladies are either decieving people or doing this to mislead young ladies...

A woman in Nigeria of today has to think twice before walking out of a relationship, men plenty wey wan straff but very few are willing to marry.

So if a woman cherishes marriage, she will sacrifice and tolerate somethings.

But if the poster does not care about ending up like tonto dikeh, iyabo ojo who are living as singles then she may take your advise.

People like you come to Nairaland and say what you wish for your daughters.



Being a place where you can hide behind your phone and type nonsense allows you to put your senses at the back burner and just vomit the rubbish you have saved in your brain.



You and the men (boys) in your circles are unwilling to marry. Your girlfriends and partners are low class, senseless, weaklings who have zero respect for themselves.



I don't want to treat the case of each woman you mentioned because they are distinct individuals who have separate stories, besides, it's not my fault that no one raised you to be a wise, observant, young man.

(Is it not obvious that no wise, God fearing woman will want to settle down with you? Only desperate opportunistic gold diggers will flock around your type)


Even though it makes you mad, I will repeat what I said earlier:


There are good men out there.


Good men are finding good women and they are getting married every Saturday.


If you can't find a good woman, that's your own personal cup of tea.

Exquisitely:
Thank you all for the suggestions. I'm grateful to this family

Saintmary:



People like you come to Nairaland and say what you wish for your daughters.



Being a place where you can hide behind your phone and type nonsense allows you to put your senses at the back burner and just vomit the rubbish you have saved in your brain.



You and the men (boys) in your circles are unwilling to marry. Your girlfriends and partners are low class, senseless, weaklings who have zero respect for themselves.



I don't want to treat the case of each woman you mentioned because they are distinct individuals who have separate stories, besides, it's not my fault that no one raised you to be a wise, observant, young man.

(Is it not obvious that no wise, God fearing woman will want to settle down with you? Only desperate opportunistic gold diggers will flock around your type)


Even though it makes you mad, I will repeat what I said earlier:


There are good men out there.


Good men are finding good women and they are getting married every Saturday.


If you can't find a good woman, that's your own personal cup of tea.

You are just speaking out of emotions.
I gave you some cold hard facts but you have chosen not to be objective.

The truth might hurt but its better to live in reality than to live in delusion.

You failed to provide any reasonable or sensible arguement and chose to curse and bully me.

Read my post again and compare it with yours then tell me if your response is fair.

Let's treat each other with respect, we can disagree without devolving into abuse. You can respond to me and provide reasons why you think I am wrong without being this abusive.

Mindlog:
With what you narrated, why is the relationship still on?

BIG GBOLA

Neptunium:
@OP (Exquisitely), I am in several FB groups for singles with thousands of members in each. There're single, no kids yet, responsible men in Nigeria looking for a wife. They're not picky about age. Some have met and gotten married from these groups (they post their wedding IVs and photos). There's also one particular group with many abroad-based Nigerian men looking for a wife either abroad or in Nigeria and they aren't picky about age either. The age bashing thing is mostly a construct from men who have nothing to offer. There're plenty single mothers in Nigeria in these groups (it's from these groups that I found out Nigeria has many single mothers) looking for a husband after divorce or their baby daddy left them but you've no kids yet and will have an easier chance of finding someone.

I will not post the names of the groups here. If you're interested in joining them, send me a PM and I will give you the names to join them.

Mr Neptunium, tell us the name of the group

Exquisitely:
I have been dating this guy for over 2 years. When we started dating, he had no job and I always encouraged him to get something doing no matter how small because he was always relying on his parents then.

He got jobs but quit working without telling me, I got to find out later. Due to these issues, he couldn't afford to pay for his apartment, so he had to relocate to his parents house.

He got a job in the same area as his parents house and he only looked for it because I told him I wasn't comfortable with him not working, as someone in his late 20s. As a lady, I try to make sure I work, plan my life and look for opportunities with prospects, but he doesn't do these things. He is comfortable with the way things are going for him.

He's been working for some months now but there is nothing to show for it, he is not even trying to get a high paying job, start a business, learn a skill or leave his comfort zone.
Mind you, I don't ask him for anything since he is not even doing well for himself yet.

This guy is proposing marraige, but I don't want to accept because he doesn't have a vision, neither does he have concrete plans or prospect. I'm afraid getting married to him would mean I'll be carrying all the burden while married, since he is even comfortable with the way things are for him now. I'm tired of having this discussion with him.

Please I need suggestions on what you'd likely do if you find yourself in my situation.

One word: Run!

Lucrativress:

I beg you with Heaven and Earth do not marry a visionless man or else you'll suffer and suffer well.
You'll become despised and frustrated.
You'll later divorce or start dealing with abuse.
Later you'll have disturbed mental health
You'll loose yourself and start living for your Children
You'll forget you came alone to this life and you also deserve to "live"
You'll die with the source of your happiness just being your Children and not yourself.

And it's not just her that would suffer o, the innocent children too. They would wish they had come from another family. And if God doesn't intervene, it might affect many areas of the child(ren)'s growth; psychological, academic, spiritual... Trust me, I know.

oldienavie:

You are just speaking out of emotions.
I gave you some cold hard facts but you have chosen not to be objective.

The truth might hurt but its better to live in reality than to live in delusion.

You failed to provide any reasonable or sensible arguement and chose to curse and bully me.

Read my post again and compare it with yours then tell me if your response is fair.

Let's treat each other with respect, we can disagree without devolving into abuse. You can respond to me and provide reasons why you think I am wrong without being this abusive.

Seriously?


You can't take what you're dishing?


I've always observed that the most insultive people are the ones who can't take a bitter pill. Interesting.




You feel good when you use words like 'cold, hard facts' right?


But you can't even process simple words like 'it's boys in your circles who're not getting married'


Take this fact, people are getting married every Saturday. Go to the registry on Thursday and Saturday and see for yourself.



So, don't paint the world with the tiny little brush in your limited imagination.



Now, buzz off, I've got stuff to do.

LagBae:


And it's not just her that would suffer o, the innocent children too. They would wish they had come from another family. And if God doesn't intervene, it might affect many areas of the child(ren)'s growth; psychological, academic, spiritual... Trust me, I know.

Exactly