₦airaland Forum

GboyegaD:
You are the one I should ask if you are ready for marriage. I wonder how you allowed people get into your head. You said he argued with your aunt, and you were pained. Should he keep quiet if he's not okay with whatever the cause of the argument was because he wants a marriage?

I don't even understand how your aunt was pissed that he didn't call to thank her for taking you to the market to buy the engagement clothes. Was he the one who suggested you approach your aunt to help you? If he is not, then he doesn't owe her that obligation. If he chooses to say thank you, so be it and if he doesn't, no big deal.

Lastly, your parent's (mom in particular) reservation indirectly beclouded your thought and you suggesting you put the wedding on hold gave him the opportunity to think through the entire thing. Perhaps, you guys were going on a fast lane and that statement made him think and also, have conversation with his folks who might have felt with this much troubles from external influences before the wedding, he should just save his head.

Like the Yorubas will say, "Oju to ma ba ni kale, kin ti a ti owuro se pin" implying, whatever would last long doesn't stress you from inception. You both are lucky in your ways and you both should see it as each party is right with his/her decision.

I just needed to add this, in your next relationship (whether he comes back or a new relationship), remember you both are the prize and treat each other that way. If he doesn't treat you like a prize or you can't treat him as one, please, be quick to move. Don't be carried away by the people of the world who have no place in your home. Imagine some telling you to do thanksgiving when you were the one who put the wedding on hold should tell you they are like dance instructors who teaches you to dance but will never borrow you their legs to do the dance.

You see the time I de quote you? Your writeup was worth my sleep time. Na wise man u be

oldienavie:
@Op, I know this is not a good time for you so I will try and be gentle but at the same time tell you some salient truths.

As it stands today in Nigeria, it is women that are chasing men for marriage, so you have to understand that whether you agree or not, in Nigeria of today, when a man says, he wants to marry a woman, he believes he is doing her a favour, and if she does not relate to him on that frequency, he will behave/react the way your boyfriend behaved.

Your boyfriend thinks you will boss him around, or your family will turn him to a simp if he marries you that is why he ran, I am not saying that is the truth, but as a guy myself, there are some salient things I look for when I am with a lady that I consider redflags, I am not saying you or your family is bossy, but he definitely thinks you will not submit to him, as a lady, you should never tell a man you want to call off a relationship, even if you just meant to scare him use another thing, the moment you mention that, the men of today, will vex and since we get plenty options, it will not cost us anything to move on.

If your man comes back congratulations, but if he doesn't come back, try to protect your man from your family in future, even if your parents are complaining about him, find a way to manage it and do not let him know or do it with wisdom, cos many African men will think you are trying to turn them to a simp and they will not be able to control you when they marry you if you give that kind of impression.

In case you are no longer getting married to the man, I am a single guy myself looking for a wife so just let me know and maybe we can work something out....

Even if the man has a poor attitude she should bear with him because men are yada yada yada? Rubbish!! My OP sister the only thing I would have requested of you would have been a little more detail on the arguments and his position that elders like us can finally see his mind in full. The fact that he couldn't thank your aunty even though he's not the one that asked her help shows that he's immature or a very impatient type and none of which is good for you. A matured person will know it's not a big deal to say ordinary thank you to someone even if the person didn't do anything. Your aunty is not even asking him for fuel money or anything. Your ex is a very very stewpid boy and is God that saved you. If you dare call him again then God has left you to your fate. Nonsense

DaddyFreeze2020:
You should be thanking God that his character was exposed to you.

Na backhand slaps you for dey receive for your marriage.

That is how you people jump into conclusions. She should tell us what transpires between her parents, her aunt and her supposed husband to be.
I am not in any way supporting the guy if actually he was rude but what led to that? He story was silent on that.

This is one sided story. See as people are rushing to say she dogged a bullet. She dogged nothing.

She cannot even tell us the details of her fiance's arguments with her family members.

GboyegaD:
You are the one I should ask if you are ready for marriage. I wonder how you allowed people get into your head. You said he argued with your aunt, and you were pained. Should he keep quiet if he's not okay with whatever the cause of the argument was because he wants a marriage?

I don't even understand how your aunt was pissed that he didn't call to thank her for taking you to the market to buy the engagement clothes. Was he the one who suggested you approach your aunt to help you? If he is not, then he doesn't owe her that obligation. If he chooses to say thank you, so be it and if he doesn't, no big deal.

Lastly, your parent's (mom in particular) reservation indirectly beclouded your thought and you suggesting you put the wedding on hold gave him the opportunity to think through the entire thing. Perhaps, you guys were going on a fast lane and that statement made him think and also, have conversation with his folks who might have felt with this much troubles from external influences before the wedding, he should just save his head.

Like the Yorubas will say, "Oju to ma ba ni kale, kin ti a ti owuro se pin" implying, whatever would last long doesn't stress you from inception. You both are lucky in your ways and you both should see it as each party is right with his/her decision.

I just needed to add this, in your next relationship (whether he comes back or a new relationship), remember you both are the prize and treat each other that way. If he doesn't treat you like a prize or you can't treat him as one, please, be quick to move. Don't be carried away by the people of the world who have no place in your home. Imagine some telling you to do thanksgiving when you were the one who put the wedding on hold should tell you they are like dance instructors who teaches you to dance but will never borrow you their legs to do the dance.

You wrote trash. Must we guys keep defending our fellow guys even when they are wrong? OP, ignore this guy useless writeup. You did the right thing. God made these incidence to happen so you want fall into the pit of regret

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

This Sunday, put a special thanksgiving offering to God. That's all I'll say

I don't need to hear his side if the story to know that he is not at fault.

Kinzo0917:
You wrote trash. Must we guys keep defending our fellow guys even when they are wrong? OP, ignore this guy useless writeup. You did the right thing. God made these incidence to happen so you want fall into the pit of regret

It is not useless. Ask the OP to give us details of what happens for her parents to say he is rude.

DukeNija:
Utter gibberish! I kept seeing my aunt, my mom, my dad, my neighbor Jesus Christ! Are they all in this relationship with you?
He made the right decision to walk away because it’s obvious he’ll have to deal with more than an indecisive and emotionally dependent wife. Aunt wants him to thank her for taking you, her own niece to the market to buy wedding items? Really? You should thank your aunt not him!
I congratulate the young man for saving himself from an entitled and overly intrusive family.

. Foolish comment. Your type see women as rags. I pity the woman that will marry you.

Helpout12345:
It is not useless. Ask the OP to give us details of what happens for her parents to say he is rude.

. Let stop defending irresponsible guys. How come no one from the OP Family likes him? Does it mean no one in her family sees anything good about him? I think the guy is full of ego and pride. I am a guy and I have sisters .I can't allow my sister marry a guy too full of himself. A guy that can't respect my sisters parent

Last last, na that guy wey dodge bullet.

He made an excellent decision.

Involving nairaland shows op cannot keep sensitive things private.

Can you imagine that?

Till we hear from him!

Preparing for wedding, most especially traditional wedding is the ultimate text of a marriage!

Couples that hold their traditional wedding in peace, without quarrelling or fighting, tends to have the best marriages

I can bet you, as a married man, you people are putting this young man under a lot of financial stresses

Your aunty, I can bet you may or may not be exploiting the young man. And you know, but you choose not to fight for him, so not to displease your family.

I had that experience with my sister in-law.

As my sister in-law destroyed my marriage

I bet you that is how your aunt will destroy your happiness, in the guise that she is helping you.

Because he is a banker does not mean he is a millionaire.

Madam work with your fiancé's budget

I was working on a budget of 300K, they were working on a budget of 3M

Why wouldn't us have friction, every time

Your people's greed to show off is destroying your happiness.

I have been in your guy's shoes.

Kinzo0917:
. Let stop defending irresponsible guys. How come no one from the OP Family likes him? Does it mean no one in her family sees anything good about him? I think the guy is full of ego and pride. I am a guy and I have sisters .I can't allow my sister marry a guy too full of himself. A guy that can't respect my sisters parent

Yes nobody expects a potential son-in-law to be rude and disrespectful to his intending wife family. I am also not defending the guy.

But nothing in the write up confirmed that the guy is the one at fault yet.

We have seen over-bearing in-laws too that want their sons or daughters-in-law to be worshipping them just because they gave out their child in marriage

This is why we should not rush to condemn the man in this case until she tells us the details of their arguments.

Candidlady:
You rang him back after two weeks for two weeks... good two weeks he didn't call. His mum didn't call.. His siblings didn't call

You had to ring him.. so if he had agreed on pushing through with the wedding you would have said yes

Iswear dawadawa expensive pass you (pissed)

You should be jubilating... get heaven dust, four cans of budweiser, a pack of dunhil and if you can afford captain Morgan... make yourself happy.. heaven just saved/liberated you from a curse

But it's always easier for you to say these things when you are not under any marriage pressure.

I hope you are aware of that?

The girl is already blaming herself when clearly she's not at fault (at least going by her account her) which tells you that this may not be the first time such a thing is happening to her.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

Go to church and do thanksgiving


God just saved you from a wolf!

Someone that does not regard your family while married, will eat end up murdering you.

Please! Make sure you do thanksgiving!

You don’t have an idea about what God saved you from.

bummyla:
Till we hear from him!

Preparing for wedding, most especially traditional wedding is the ultimate text of a marriage!

Couples that hold their traditional wedding in peace, without quarrelling or fighting, tends to have the best marriages

I can bet you, as a married man, you people are putting this young man under a lot of financial stresses

Your aunty, I can bet you may or may not be exploiting the young man. And you know, but you choose not to fight for him, so not to displease your family.

I had that experience with my sister in-law.

As my sister in-law destroyed my marriage

I bet you that is how your aunt will destroy your happiness, in the guise that she is helping you.

Because he is a banker does not mean he is a millionaire.

Madam work with your fiancé's budget

I was working on a budget of 300K, they were working on a budget of 3M

Why wouldn't us have friction, every time

Your people's greed to show off is destroying your happiness.

I have been in your guy's shoes.

I can resonate with your experience here.

DukeNija:
Utter gibberish! I kept seeing my aunt, my mom, my dad, my neighbor Jesus Christ! Are they all in this relationship with you?
He made the right decision to walk away because it’s obvious he’ll have to deal with more than an indecisive and emotionally dependent wife. Aunt wants him to thank her for taking you, her own niece to the market to buy wedding items? Really? You should thank your aunt not him!
I congratulate the young man for saving himself from an entitled and overly intrusive family.

I think say na only me see am

You should take out time to review everything that happened. From my own perspective, you guys nearly suffocated the guy. Your mum didnt like him that much and must have somehow shown it, your dad may have been looking for something to help him swing to your mum's side and every little misyarn from your man that could have been overlooked would be viewed as rudeness.
Your aunt, ahhh. If it was me, I wouldn't even think of thanking her. For what? The joy of a wedding in the family is the preparations that precedes the D-day. Why on earth should anyone expect the young man to be thanking your family members for spending his money?
You guys choked him with too much entitlements and from your story, you made no single effort to defend your man, rather ganged up with your folks to create a hostile atmosphere for him. I would have cancelled everything quicker than him.
Next time, study the man you want to settle down with before getting your family involved so you know how to defend, protect and guide him in the early days of relating with your entitled folks.

Lmaoooo. The biggest joke here remains the fact that this immature one is 28 years.

He should kneel down to thank your aunty for going with you to idumota. What next? The neighbors? Or your ex for teaching you to suck preek?

Go and marry your aunty. I can't decide if there's something wrong with the man from your one-sided story. But you and your family have big issues. He dodged a bullet.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

What did your aunty do? Una go over spend money abi... The guy did nothing wrong. He's marrying you not your family. Start ur own, it's not easy to be a man, I know you are covering up a lot.

Big bros I hail ur strategy.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

I dint know who exactly is at fault here until I get more info on how the guy was rude to ur dad and the reservations ur mum had.

There is nothing wrong with him arguing with ur aunt if there is a valid reason too. Is is aunt always right because she's ur aunt?? For the fact she was upset that ur fiance didn't thank her for doing what any aunt would do for their niece and expecting a thank you shows alittle pettiness or usual expectations. Not everyone thinks like u in manners bt they are not terrible people either especially if they can adjust with time not overnight.

Knowing how women are the argument btwn ur aunt and ur fiance may have been due to the previous event or maybe not.

I will like to know more about how he treats u and his character to his family and friends not just ur family alone and then what are the issues ur family has with him in more exact details.

This will help judge if ur dodged a bullet like its seems to be right now.

faithfull18:
So, I am reading comments here from men saying they are doing a woman a favour marrying her and I laugh.

The comments are long and I really don't want to quote anybody.

Ladies, a man should go all out for you, even the men in the Bible did. Little details matter. @OP, but for the distance, I wish you guys were in the same Physical location maybe it could have turned out differently. What would it have cost him to apologise? Does it make him less manly. I doubt the guy was fully committed to marrying you. Guys want good marriages as well as ladies. Nobody is doing anybody a favour marrying anybody if you are a quality person.

As a lady, na them go dey rush you, they just may not be the type of people you want to be in a livelong relationship with due to career, lifestyle, convictions, age, location and a host of other reasons. That's where these men get it wrong, men aren't scarce as they paint it here.

Good, quality, responsible, disciplined and truly godly men are the hard to find ones.

Madam, I have been the best husband to my wife, but me and her family didn't agree from the beginning because of how they stressed me, in fact, I swore not to forgive one of her uncles who insulted me when I brought their list, but my wife called my sis and mother behind me and told them what I said and begged them to plead with me to forgive, na them face me, I had to drop the grudges, so Madame, it's a two people affair. Family na gist dem dey find.

Kinzo0917:
You wrote trash. Must we guys keep defending our fellow guys even when they are wrong? OP, ignore this guy useless writeup. You did the right thing. God made these incidence to happen so you want fall into the pit of regret

Oga, write your own na, abi? You can choose to slave and be disrespected for the sake of love, don't abuse people who choose not to.

Gospel2Day:
You need to work on your comprehension skills.
Did you not read the part where she said her dad said he was rude to him?
The guy has both attitudinal and temperamental issues.
You can't claim to love a lady and at the same time be rude and disrespectful to her parents.
It suggests he wasn't raised well.
The arrogance of feeling he is doing the lady and her family a favour by marrying her is both wrong and irritating.
If you love a lady and plans to marry her, just because she says she wants the process to be put on hold should not make you ghost her for two weeks.
He lacks the humility to visit her parents to apologize for appearing to be rude to them.
You can see the effect of his lack of home training from the attitude of his mother. She should have called the lady in question seeking clarification on the issue. She also should have made an attempt to visit her parents so as to settle the matter.
He is obviously immature, a slave of his anger and pride.
The lady is very lucky and wise to have suspended or aborted the wedding preparation.
He will show her pepper after their wedding, and will cut her off completely from her parents.
The lady should wait for a mature suitor who is manly enough to receive corrections and to apologize when necessary.
So many toddlers calling themselves men nowadays.
It is a pity.

What we call rude most times are not. If the dad disrespects him and he reacts, they will be quick to say he's rude. Truth is I have heard that statement that I'm rude many times and I don't care.

I have been told I'm disrespectful and rude because I spoke English to an elder; I have been labeled rude because I didn't prostrate for an elder and many more. Unless we hear from the guy, it is difficult to conclude.

uchvic:
You see the time I de quote you? Your writeup was worth my sleep time. Na wise man u be

Thanks for the compliment.

Kinzo0917:
. Let stop defending irresponsible guys. How come no one from the OP Family likes him? Does it mean no one in her family sees anything good about him? I think the guy is full of ego and pride. I am a guy and I have sisters .I can't allow my sister marry a guy too full of himself. A guy that can't respect my sisters parent

Because been entitled is a family trait. Did you notice the guy's mum didn't bother pacifying her family? Doesn't that speaks volume?

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

My sister please don't lie... What's the worst, say the truth.

As a man let me tell you, lol... Pls take my advice.

Some family don't want their daughter to marry, lol... They still want your money, how old was ur mum when she married your father? Lol, u are 28now... Lol....
It's 6 weeks to wedding, the man is tensed which is normal, judging a man in such situation is madness, I bet you don't have brothers.
Has he been good to you? If yes, your family has no bloody say in this, they don't care, same family will mock you soon, bet me... You are 28,a banker, when will you find man, this was through a friend abi... Lol...

I laugh you because you think say men full outside ba? Lol... God give you your own, you throway am... You think it's easy to marry this period?You know nothing about being a wife... You are supposed to be calming him down, it's two of u against the world... Every man wants that... Two of you are the team here... Obviously you can't stand for him... Ehya, let see your parents get you a perfect man.

I suspect you over spent money on what's not important, make your aunty go leak stew abeg, let her face her life, you and ur man are from different background, you cant blame him, our parents of nowadays sees nothing, abeg, that na before, don't let them ruin your joy, did you even pray about him first? That's story for another sha, but sis, u messed up, you won't get a good man if you don't change this yoke. Stay safe.

In all this, op, you sound like a good girl, that's why the family is using ur head, good girls dey always suffer like this.

I really pity you sha, e get why

Sister came into marriage with her entire family. Next time, have a limit, we know your parents re needed in the marriage but don't let their presence override it.

The young man saw the danger ahead, he dodged the bullet.

All thanks to the event, the marriage would have bn between him and your entire relative. U know what that means.

GboyegaD:
You are the one I should ask if you are ready for marriage. I wonder how you allowed people get into your head. You said he argued with your aunt, and you were pained. Should he keep quiet if he's not okay with whatever the cause of the argument was because he wants a marriage?

I don't even understand how your aunt was pissed that he didn't call to thank her for taking you to the market to buy the engagement clothes. Was he the one who suggested you approach your aunt to help you? If he is not, then he doesn't owe her that obligation. If he chooses to say thank you, so be it and if he doesn't, no big deal.

Lastly, your parent's (mom in particular) reservation indirectly beclouded your thought and you suggesting you put the wedding on hold gave him the opportunity to think through the entire thing. Perhaps, you guys were going on a fast lane and that statement made him think and also, have conversation with his folks who might have felt with this much troubles from external influences before the wedding, he should just save his head.

Like the Yorubas will say, "Oju to ma ba ni kale, kin ti a ti owuro se pin" implying, whatever would last long doesn't stress you from inception. You both are lucky in your ways and you both should see it as each party is right with his/her decision.

I just needed to add this, in your next relationship (whether he comes back or a new relationship), remember you both are the prize and treat each other that way. If he doesn't treat you like a prize or you can't treat him as one, please, be quick to move. Don't be carried away by the people of the world who have no place in your home. Imagine some telling you to do thanksgiving when you were the one who put the wedding on hold should tell you they are like dance instructors who teaches you to dance but will never borrow you their legs to do the dance.

To those quoting me, did you notice the guy's mum didn't bother pacifying her family? Doesn't that speaks volume?

A very different and seemingly objective view.
1. Both parties aren't ready. They were supposed to find a way round it (atleast have a one-on-one conversation.
2. The wife's family seems petty and entitled.
3. The husband to be family aren't going to take any "rubbish ".
4.the wife to be wasn't supposed to threaten the guy with breakup.
5. They both should just count their loses and be better next time.

AfroKnight:
So it never even crossed your mind that maybe your family people were rude to the guy? After spending money and planning for weeks, do you think it’s easy for a man to walk away. You broke up with him by asking for things to be placed on hold and you refused to make amends for 2 whole weeks! You didn’t even try to reason with him as regards the argument he had with your people. And your people didn’t even ask you to reach out to the person you offended?

It’s good that he has moved on. You too should move on. Stop being an entitled woman. Learn to apologise when you say things out of anger.

It is frustrating to have a wife who never apologises for her outbursts.

Na wa for you. You stopped the preparation and you expected him to call you? Call you for what? To beg you? Lol. You better beg him.

Ladies nor get sense o,sorry to say... She lost a good man over family... Her mama marry at 17,nobody disturb her... At 28 family dey use her head.