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My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by ahnie: 11:32pm On Oct 06, 2022
DukeNija:


Utter gibberish! I kept seeing my aunt, my mom, my dad, my neighbor Jesus Christ! Are they all in this relationship with you?
He made the right decision to walk away because it’s obvious he’ll have to deal with more than an indecisive and emotionally dependent wife. Aunt wants him to thank her for taking you, her own niece to the market to buy wedding items? Really? You should thank your aunt not him!
I congratulate the young man for saving himself from an entitled and overly intrusive family.
Hi,I had to respond to this,I think you clearly missed my point.
What meant was.....e good make them go their separate ways, because truly,the marriage would not last, because of lots of interference from both families,and the couple may likely end up killing each other or divorced.

I used late Mrs osinachi as an example.
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Nairanation2: 11:33pm On Oct 06, 2022
If it's exactly d way u narrated was what happened, then u really dodged a missile. The truth is he never cherished u as his future wife from day one. Even if ur parents were cold to him on meeting him for d first time, It's he who's supposed to ensure he gained their trust & love with some help from u as time went on & this shouldn't be difficult. I guess d guy is choleric & this is a time bomb. This should be a turn off for any lady. Better luck next time. If u meet another guy u like & wants to settle down with, make it part of ur responsibility to make ur parents like him. It's for ur good.
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by superCleanworks(m): 11:33pm On Oct 06, 2022
Gabless:


Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then.

see person wey God save from falling into a pit she dey here dey cry.

young woman, take money and head to the nearest coldstone and order nice ice cream and shawarma. then buy MTN 200 card in 10 places and share to all your friends.

The God wey save you wear big agbada

1 Like

Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by bonnyhope: 11:33pm On Oct 06, 2022
AfroKnight:
So it never even crossed your mind that maybe your family people were rude to the guy? After spending money and planning for weeks, do you think it’s easy for a man to walk away. You broke up with him by asking for things to be placed on hold and you refused to make amends for 2 whole weeks! You didn’t even try to reason with him as regards the argument he had with your people. And your people didn’t even ask you to reach out to the person you offended?

It’s good that he has moved on. You too should move on. Stop being an entitled woman. Learn to apologise when you say things out of anger.

It is frustrating to have a wife who never apologises for her outbursts.

Na wa for you. You stopped the preparation and you expected him to call you? Call you for what? To beg you? Lol. You better beg him.


Gbam!!!

Logics are far from ladies

She was the one that initially told the guy that things should be put on hold

And she turns round and said the guy has ego

I don't get it

1 Like

Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Eastcoastboy(m): 11:35pm On Oct 06, 2022
ahnie:
Ekwueme!Ekwueme!!
You're the living God oh
Eze no one like you.


That wasn't just a song,there lies the answers you seek.

A quick reminder as a brain teaser,that song up there was sang by osinachi.

You're so funny.
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by DryMouth: 11:35pm On Oct 06, 2022
Kobojunkie:
So, you are insisting that the man's side does not need to take care of introduction-related concerns. It is traditionally acceptable for him pay the woman and her family to do all the necessary work on his behalf? undecided
Lol.. he is coming to the woman's house na. She should get everything ready.
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Honestfrend: 11:36pm On Oct 06, 2022
Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

He doesn't love u.. Some men are like that very mannerless.. They act like they are doing you a favor because they want to marry forgetting too that it's a 2 way thing.

Although am angry with u in some aspect especially at the point wen u put the wedding on hold because u were mad at him. U should not have. If he is the one paying for the dress that you and aunt went to buy and you expect him to call your aunt and thanked her it not a bad thing if he doesn't thank her. Why because he payed for it.

There is no crime drawing his attention towards his attitude about your family. As a mature and reasonable someone he should have compose himself. He has an altitude problem.

Such man is not meant for u.. He won't treat u well in marriage. It's hard 2 move on, but u just have 2.. There is not better understanding between the 2 of u.
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Alaga2222(m): 11:37pm On Oct 06, 2022
Remember you were the one who put the wedding on hold... There are words you shouldn’t have alter to a man who you believe you want to get married to... and more over you should have go to him directly instead of calling him on the phone to lay your complain..

Well try and work on yourself and don’t allowed any family members or third party into your next relationship
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by ahnie: 11:38pm On Oct 06, 2022
I have a case on my hand,a mum of 5 kids,married to a very popular reverend in awka Anambra state sent packing by her **religious cassock** wearing husband.

She's looking for a mere sales girl work to do.


There's another one also,counting beddings in numerous hotels that ran away from home abandoning her kids and their *takeaway*,father.
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Joe4real1988(m): 11:40pm On Oct 06, 2022
emonis88:
Those of u saying she dodged a bullet, u didn't even hear the guy's own side of the story, there is a possibility they were killing the guy with expenses, it is financial stress they were giving the guy that made the guy act so, cus he felt her family was asking for too much n urging d lady on to do a one in town wedding, buy the best cloths, get d best hall , invite as many of their people as possible, to let people know that their daughter is getting married, it such callousness that makes a man quarrel with his prospective in-laws, n to cap it all she go dey do shakara say put d wedding on hold, wo! Good radiance to bad rubbish, the guy saw a lee way to run for his life o!
I thought as much coz op even said her aunt argued with him over money stuff.
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by idahsy: 11:41pm On Oct 06, 2022
baby girl run for your life. dnt do my type of mistakes, for marrying ingratitude fellow. just let him go nd pray for your best one to come. i am regreting my action upon the obvious sign i saw back then before the marriage but i still go ahead with the marriage plan hmmm baby my body dey let me. no just try it
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by DryMouth: 11:42pm On Oct 06, 2022
KristaPretty:
I thank God for the guy that he dodged a bullet. He should tell your Aunt thank you for following you to the market to buy your own engagement clothes??

You and your family are looking for who to worship you because he came to marry you?? How did your aunt meddle in such affair of even talking about this and that when you clearly have parents?? Probably she could be the bread winner??

You all are toxic irritants and worse than the Nigerian Economy. I thank God for the wisdom bestowed upon the guy. You are obviously not ready to get married. When you are, your so-called Aunty would feed you a man of her choice that she can be causing confusion and waiting upon to lick her foot.

Bunch of clowns.
She was even the person that threatened to suspend the preparations and the man gladly helped her

3 Likes

Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Kobojunkie: 11:44pm On Oct 06, 2022
DryMouth:
Lol.. he is coming to the woman's house na. She should get everything ready.
I don't know about you but I would have reservations regarding a man who agrees to traditionally engaging my daughter only to then pay my child and I do all the work that ought to have been done by him, and his. undecided

Anyways, that's what I was able to gather from the OP story anyway. I had asked that the OP elaborate a bit further but didn't get clarification. undecided
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Dangrace01: 11:46pm On Oct 06, 2022
brightbright:
Wike Turned Popular Song ‘As E Dey Pain Dem’ Into Rivers State Anthem


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuqPF3cRQPM

Lolllllllllllll grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Okhuadams(m): 11:46pm On Oct 06, 2022
Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.
Instead of you to go and buy something of a cost put on your best clothes and shoe and bag to match then to church with what you bought that cost you. And thoroughly thank Baba God for deliverance you are asking me if the guy really loves. My Friend respect urself
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by stanisbaratheon: 11:47pm On Oct 06, 2022
Maybe na overbilling from your family make the guy vex.


There is an uneasy way someone can be feeling when he thinks he's giving too much and in that state of mind any little thing can trigger them to take drastic action. I think that's what happened here. I may be wrong though.

A friend of mine was planning for his wedding one time, the kind of billing he got from the bride's family almost made him give up. My guy would come to the office sometimes fuming and complaining about the aunt of the bride wanting this and that. In other words, the aunt wanted a "grand" wedding that would be the talk of the town and my guy wasn't having it. The bride's aunt is the most influential person in the family, even the bride's father and mother respected and took her views and opinions. My guy stood his ground with his budget for the wedding and that was how the bride's aunt pulled out of the wedding that she wasn't coming.

Just imagine if my guy was pushed to the limit. He obviously would have called the wedding off or at least postponed it.

5 Likes

Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Nobody: 11:47pm On Oct 06, 2022
Gabless:



I have a mind of my own and I wasn't push by anyone. This guy doesn't stay in Lagos. He stays in osun state. And nobody influence me. I was there when he was comuning with my aunt on phone it wasn't as if she reported him to me. This her his supposed in-law to be. I wasn't happy the way he was arguing with her over money issue at the same time mentioning my mum in his conversation.
I think the mind of my own I need to have was to express my mind to him wish I did and it led to this

Did you visit him to tell him ur mind


And u didn't mention he had issues with your aunt concerning money

Omo, the economy hard o

Drop the real gist, what happened btw him,ur mom,dad and what money were dey arguing about



Well, I think you should travel to osun state and meet him..talk to him,clear ur fears and doubts.. don't because of what nairaland people are saying to judge him... a time came when I gave my girl's mother and dad my own anger and my girl talked to me concerning it, i no even apologize but we still dey good

Now her mom and dad dey respect me and don't say things that will provoke me

Just talk to him one on one

Be the one in charge of ur relationship and marriage preparation, whatever they need they should talk to you and you talk to ur man

Ur family shouldn't be talking directly to him, as money dey comot e dey pepper for body and when, I no need this(man),we need this(father) comes in,tension go dey and they will term him as rude,he will term them inconsiderate

Good night and I pray you listen to your heart and spirit with mind

My only sister is married till date,I don't even have the husband's phone number, none of us do,as long as wen I call my sister, she's happy no wahala,their preparations were done by them alone,anything the family needed,we tell her,she tell her husband, anyone he didn't bring,either we support or we leave am... e get where we nearly throw punch, me sef no dey take things lightly, we exchanged words and na drink we use cool off, I never said it's a red flag or anything.. even wedding sef, u don see groom fight brother in law and na sister/wife dey separate fight? grin


I wouldn't want you to make a mistake

Good night

6 Likes

Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by brandsoncharlie: 11:48pm On Oct 06, 2022
bukatyne:


@bold:

Must be the joke of the 21st century cheesy
Which joke, it is very true proven from research take your time and find out.
Do your findings before you call someone joke.

1 Like

Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by idahsy: 11:48pm On Oct 06, 2022
Joe4real1988:
I thought as much coz op even said her aunt argued with him over money stuff.


bro that is not enough reason to disrespect the girl family by being rude to them, he could hv com out clearly to explain to them that he cant afford such and such expensive stuff. in my place here the groom family are responsible for the stuff not the bride family.
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by DryMouth: 11:49pm On Oct 06, 2022
Blakjewelry:

LOL you are damn lucky, thank your stars. Someone better will eventually come around.
Na wetin them tell my pretty aunt be this until she turn 42.

It doesn't always work like this in reality

3 Likes

Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by GboyegaD(m): 11:50pm On Oct 06, 2022
Karlosorji:
its obvious that that guy wasn't gonna be a sweet husband to that girl. As an African, marriage isn't only between a man and a girl but between both families. Respect is key and its also reciprocal. That girl was lucky not to have married that very proud man without respect for the girl

I am an African man and so are my sisters. Parenting styles differs and we should respect that. He isn't proud, he only has his self pride which is necessary. No one is doing the other a favor and should his parents be the one interfering, many would have cried foul.

1 Like

Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by intruder15(m): 11:51pm On Oct 06, 2022
Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

It's human to feel down. Some red flags are quite sensitive. Just that you didn't say the whole story. For instance, how was ur Aunty caught up in the middle?
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by MoneyMustBMade(m): 11:52pm On Oct 06, 2022
Stay away from the guy, his still immature
Kids are now growing in mature body and age so stay away....

I believe they are still some good guys chasing you, give one chance and move on with the best among all

No time for rubbish
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by GboyegaD(m): 11:54pm On Oct 06, 2022
EagleNest:


Regardless of whether they all accepted him or not, it is immature to go into stupid argument with your would be inlaws unless they are out to milk you or they are simply useless. But in this case, I think he just failed the very basics, of playing and paying courtesies. You have just spoken with your lady on phone, and on finding out that her aunty was with her, may be a little hello and thanks for helping xyz with shopping today will not do you harm but endear you more to the family - regardless of whether you mean it or not. Play the politics for Christ sake. You are a stranger and you should know that every of your moves or behaviour is monitored and read. Going there and dey show yourself with crass rudeness is recipe for failure. I cannot fault the lady because the bobo failed the basics.

Let me start from courtesy, in life everyone licks ass however, it is about knowing whose ass you want to lick. That she is with her aunt doesn't imply he needs talk to her. He's got no business with her and perhaps, he wasn't interested in the over familiarity. He doesn't owe her a thank you as such, it's got nothing to do with been courteous.

We don't have the details, it would be nice we don't overstress it. He did what was best for him the same way she did hers. If she wasn't feeling she did bad, she wouldn't have resolved to Nairaland. This is my opinion.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by MoneyMustBMade(m): 11:54pm On Oct 06, 2022
I dey pity women oo, so person go still marry the idiot and still sample him online, even when his still an idiot. Chai!
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Kobojunkie: 11:55pm On Oct 06, 2022
GboyegaD:
I am an African man and so are my sisters. Parenting styles differs and we should respect that. He isn't proud, he only has his self pride which is necessary. No one is doing the other a favor and should his parents be the one interfering, many would have cried foul.
The man agreed to the Africa style marriage - didn't he? undecided

I don't subscribe to traditional ideas/culture myself but I at least know that those who do are expected to abide by the rules. undecided

1 Like

Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Earthquakes: 11:56pm On Oct 06, 2022
Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

One question, how did your aunt managed to even get his number, is he marrying you or your entire family members

1 Like

Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Gospel2Day: 11:57pm On Oct 06, 2022
GboyegaD:
You are the one I should ask if you are ready for marriage. I wonder how you allowed people get into your head. You said he argued with your aunt, and you were pained. Should he keep quiet if he's not okay with whatever the cause of the argument was because he wants a marriage?

I don't even understand how your aunt was pissed that he didn't call to thank her for taking you to the market to buy the engagement clothes. Was he the one who suggested you approach your aunt to help you? If he is not, then he doesn't owe her that obligation. If he chooses to say thank you, so be it and if he doesn't, no big deal.

Lastly, your parent's (mom in particular) reservation indirectly beclouded your thought and you suggesting you put the wedding on hold gave him the opportunity to think through the entire thing. Perhaps, you guys were going on a fast lane and that statement made him think and also, have conversation with his folks who might have felt with this much troubles from external influences before the wedding, he should just save his head.

Like the Yorubas will say, "Oju to ma ba ni kale, kin ti a ti owuro se pin" implying, whatever would last long doesn't stress you from inception. You both are lucky in your ways and you both should see it as each party is right with his/her decision.

I just needed to add this, in your next relationship (whether he comes back or a new relationship), remember you both are the prize and treat each other that way. If he doesn't treat you like a prize or you can't treat him as one, please, be quick to move. Don't be carried away by the people of the world who have no place in your home. Imagine some telling you to do thanksgiving when you were the one who put the wedding on hold should tell you they are like dance instructors who teaches you to dance but will never borrow you their legs to do the dance.

You need to work on your comprehension skills.
Did you not read the part where she said her dad said he was rude to him?
The guy has both attitudinal and temperamental issues.
You can't claim to love a lady and at the same time be rude and disrespectful to her parents.
It suggests he wasn't raised well.
The arrogance of feeling he is doing the lady and her family a favour by marrying her is both wrong and irritating.
If you love a lady and plans to marry her, just because she says she wants the process to be put on hold should not make you ghost her for two weeks.
He lacks the humility to visit her parents to apologize for appearing to be rude to them.
You can see the effect of his lack of home training from the attitude of his mother. She should have called the lady in question seeking clarification on the issue. She also should have made an attempt to visit her parents so as to settle the matter.
He is obviously immature, a slave of his anger and pride.
The lady is very lucky and wise to have suspended or aborted the wedding preparation.
He will show her pepper after their wedding, and will cut her off completely from her parents.
The lady should wait for a mature suitor who is manly enough to receive corrections and to apologize when necessary.
So many toddlers calling themselves men nowadays.
It is a pity.

2 Likes

Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Gospel2Day: 12:03am On Oct 07, 2022
The guy has both attitudinal and temperamental issues.
You can't claim to love a lady and at the same time be rude and disrespectful to her parents.
It suggests he wasn't raised well.
The arrogance of feeling he is doing the lady and her family a favour by marrying her is both wrong and irritating.
If you love a lady and plans to marry her, just because she says she wants the process to be put on hold should not make you ghost her for two weeks.
He lacks the humility to visit her parents to apologize for appearing to be rude to them.
You can see the effect of his lack of home training from the attitude of his mother. She should have called the lady in question seeking clarification on the issue. She also should have made an attempt to visit her parents so as to settle the matter.
He is obviously immature, a slave of his anger and pride.
The lady is very lucky and wise to have suspended or aborted the wedding preparation.
He will show her pepper after their wedding, and will cut her off completely from her parents.
The lady should wait for a mature suitor who is manly enough to receive corrections and to apologize when necessary.
So many toddlers calling themselves men nowadays.
It is a pity.
Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Joe4real1988(m): 12:10am On Oct 07, 2022
idahsy:


bro that is not enough reason to disrespect the girl family by being rude to them, he could hv com out clearly to explain to them that he cant afford such and such expensive stuff. in my place here the groom family are responsible for the stuff not the bride family.
Bro, the parents could regard him as rude for not obliging to their demand or whatever. We are different human, what u regard as rudeness might not be seen as such by me. The op didn't even tell us the words used by the man that was seen as being rude by the family members.

1 Like

Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by Freshgrace4life(f): 12:12am On Oct 07, 2022
Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.
My sister thank God you discovered early enough , at least you will know your stand , a wedding date that has been fixed only for the guy to start misbehaving , most ladies have really gone through a lot , something similar like this also happened to me , well life goes on ...

I'm not saying you shouldn't give him a second chance o , only if he will use it well but if not , move on my dear . I do tell people this "If you don't know my story you can't be my judge".

Now those that want to use age to body shame women , will not understand what you're passing through ,don't let anybody talk down on you because of your age , you will be fine .

1 Like

Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by LEGALSER: 12:13am On Oct 07, 2022
Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

See as you just allow family scatter your wedding plans. You guys will never learn. If I were him, I won't pick your calls again. You aren't matured for marriage at all.

2 Likes

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