₦airaland Forum

olisefom:
A very different and seemingly objective view.
1. Both parties aren't ready. They were supposed to find a way round it (atleast have a one-on-one conversation.
2. The wife's family seems petty and entitled.
3. The husband to be family aren't going to take any "rubbish ".
4.the wife to be wasn't supposed to threaten the guy with breakup.
5. They both should just count their loses and be better next time.

They can work it out however, she needs first grow up. My mummy, daddy, aunt all in the relationship. Yet some people claim it is the African culture.

grandstar:
Gabless
My grandfather who was a local cocoa beans farmer would say "You dodged a bullet there!".

That kind of man would lord it over you and you'll be extremely miserable. You'll be forever be walking on eggshells. That kind of man is never wrong and he will have no friends as anyone who disagrees with him becomes an enemy- he distances himself from such a person.

He will completely pocket you. Aside that, your relations, from your 1 day old nephew to your papa must keep their distance. The man no send anybody!

"Don't throw pearls before swine*, Jesus said. He who thinks he is something when he is nothing is deceiving only himself.

Every man is a Lord... Chose a Lord that loves you, that girl is dull... The man saw something she haven't been seeing. Let her day the complete story

gabemuyi:
All I see is parental irresponsibility. U said Ur dad had no objection about family introduction. Most lackadaisical father's have their daughters in an abusive marriage. Look Ur father should have had a date with him, know the type of person he is. Before Agreeing to even see his parents. A comprehensive family meeting should be carried out by Ur father. Just thank Ur star u escaped this one . U for understand.

And that would make a man treat the wife well or don't cheat abi... She lost a good man and that s why she is hurting. She knows it, not this one sided crap she typed here

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

/

He used pre-millenial format on you:

Introduction.

Engagement.

Chop well.

Breakup on some flimsy excuses....

Next victim!

/

olisefom:
A very different and seemingly objective view.
1. Both parties aren't ready. They were supposed to find a way round it (atleast have a one-on-one conversation.
2. The wife's family seems petty and entitled.
3. The husband to be family aren't going to take any "rubbish ".
4.the wife to be wasn't supposed to threaten the guy with breakup.
5. They both should just count their loses and be better next time.

The guys mum knew her son has made up his mind already. Mother hen also protects her chicks, so u want the woman to let her son die in marriage ba... The guy go don tell hin mama say he's done...

As she get mama, na so the guy get mama too. She lost a good man and that's why she's Regretting.

In all this, the op sounds like a good girl, that's why the family is using her head, good girls dey always suffer like this

InvertedHammer:
/

He used pre-millenial format on you:

Introduction.

Engagement.

Chop well.

Breakup on some flimsy excuses....

Next victim!

/

U forget spent his money... Nonsense talk

bummyla:
Till we hear from him!

Preparing for wedding, most especially traditional wedding is the ultimate text of a marriage!

Couples that hold their traditional wedding in peace, without quarrelling or fighting, tends to have the best marriages

I can bet you, as a married man, you people are putting this young man under a lot of financial stresses

Your aunty, I can bet you may or may not be exploiting the young man. And you know, but you choose not to fight for him, so not to displease your family.

I had that experience with my sister in-law.

As my sister in-law destroyed my marriage

I bet you that is how your aunt will destroy your happiness, in the guise that she is helping you.

Because he is a banker does not mean he is a millionaire.

Madam work with your fiancé's budget

I was working on a budget of 300K, they were working on a budget of 3M

Why wouldn't us have friction, every time

Your people's greed to show off is destroying your happiness.

I have been in your guy's shoes.

Same with me bro.
I was praying my wife should break up before the wedding, it's like the spirit gave her sense, she started moving with me, not family... Today we are the happiest

GboyegaD:
I think the ladies are been emotional as such, don't get offended by their post. I wonder how he waited till this moment though cos I for one cannot. A relationship where you are dating the entire family is gibberish. Parents and family members should learn to stay clear of people's relationships.

For African culture, when you marry a bride or a groom, you marry his or her whole family! That's the tradition, you guys should stop feeling you are educated, western & civil! Whereas; The real education is learning, respecting and honoring your culture. God does not make mistakes. Stop all this copycats that put us in all this mess in Africa.

The lady in question has not said too much. Thank my aunty for helping out ain't a big deal for a well trained guy with right African culture.

GboyegaD:
You are the one I should ask if you are ready for marriage. I wonder how you allowed people get into your head. You said he argued with your aunt, and you were pained. Should he keep quiet if he's not okay with whatever the cause of the argument was because he wants a marriage?

I don't even understand how your aunt was pissed that he didn't call to thank her for taking you to the market to buy the engagement clothes. Was he the one who suggested you approach your aunt to help you? If he is not, then he doesn't owe her that obligation. If he chooses to say thank you, so be it and if he doesn't, no big deal.

Lastly, your parent's (mom in particular) reservation indirectly beclouded your thought and you suggesting you put the wedding on hold gave him the opportunity to think through the entire thing. Perhaps, you guys were going on a fast lane and that statement made him think and also, have conversation with his folks who might have felt with this much troubles from external influences before the wedding, he should just save his head.

Like the Yorubas will say, "Oju to ma ba ni kale, kin ti a ti owuro se pin" implying, whatever would last long doesn't stress you from inception. You both are lucky in your ways and you both should see it as each party is right with his/her decision.

I just needed to add this, in your next relationship (whether he comes back or a new relationship), remember you both are the prize and treat each other that way. If he doesn't treat you like a prize or you can't treat him as one, please, be quick to move. Don't be carried away by the people of the world who have no place in your home. Imagine some telling you to do thanksgiving when you were the one who put the wedding on hold should tell you they are like dance instructors who teaches you to dance but will never borrow you their legs to do the dance.

To those quoting me, did you notice the guy's mum didn't bother pacifying her family? Doesn't that speaks volume?

same thought

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

first flag. Your mom, ur aunt and ur dis and that. 2nd flag, I would block ur number immediately for blackmailing me using the marriage. Na so divorce dey start.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

This is one of the reasons my friend served his girlfriend a hot breakfast. It has not even gotten to this stage. He was told the girl's mother will be the one controlling his home if he marries the lady. One day, a friend of his came around when the girl was around for the weekend and the girl asked my friend when is his friend leaving that he can not sleep over in a two bedrooms apartment. All these my friend thought and served her a very hot breakfast. How can your family so intrusive?

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

God saved you
Focus on your dreams and the right man will come
If he doesn’t come then you’re supposed to be a boss lady

greatseed:
For African culture, when you marry a bride or a groom, you marry his or her whole family! That's the tradition, you guys should stop feeling you are educated, western & civil! Whereas; The real education is learning, respecting and honoring your culture. God does not make mistakes. Stop all this copycats that put us in all this mess in Africa.

The lady in question has not said too much. Thank my aunty for helping out ain't a big deal for a well trained guy with right African culture.

She can't force someone else to confirm to her culture. He doesn't owe her aunt any thank you and he needs not enslave himself. I wonder how you are expecting people to be paid for their kind acts. She wasn't forced so why make the thank you a big deal.

By the way, was this culture not designed by a mortal like you? Why then can't you define your own values? That's for nothing to do with copying, it's about been you and stop protecting your insecurities.

Nwatachoba1:
In a public forum where the anonymous are

The bittered human

Never see well people

And the good are

Everyone has different opinions

And u shouldn't carry matter on ur head like as if the person is your own person

After all, she asked everyone's opinion

You are not married and probably angry you have not seen anyone

Be of cheerful heart,wish good

Speak good,call a spade what it is and watch good things that are yours come to you

Wish no man evil, harbor no hatred or feel bad for the good happening to people

When u see bad,talk,when u see good, talk

Obi mmadu ajoka

Lol.
See someone calling another bitter... You see a woman who God himself saved from an obviously abusive person, you started writing chronicles because the description of the man concerned was too close for comfort abi? Reminded you a little about yourself abi? Mr I'm happily married for 15 yrs... Until we hear from your wife first.
Dear poster, again I congratulate you jare. God will bring the man from whose ribs you were taken and when you do meet him, you will see the difference between gutter and beach!

good that you asked does he really love you?

your narration is not enough to ask if he loves you or not.

what brought about those arguments between your aunt, parents and him? it was not mentioned, mention it so we'd know if you were u dodged a bullet.

also from the tone of these post, it sounds as if you're tryna do the young man a Favour by marrying him.

ije ụwa!! Arịrị!!

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

I am a man and so will think like a man. You almost marriage a beast. It is not about maturity alone. He lack basics home training and will easily treat every other people low. He did not value you a bit.

Persephone1:
You did no wrong, let him go and fix his character. Person wey no respect elders no fit respect you madam. Relatives or not, that man is some uncultured being that needs total change of behaviour .

Aifenipeni aifeyanpeyan.... imagine? Being rude to future inlaws? No remorse, no calls about the wedding like he is doing you a favour. Red flags everywhere .

na as goat stand for market dem go take price am.. respect is earned not demanded.

You have not been happy and have been downcast since after that. Why?Because you have had introspection and your inner mind is telling you that you didn't handle somethings right. I'm sure the guy is not unhappy and downcast because he dodged overbearing family.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

Thank your For very well

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

God save you, you are almost going into an ABUSIVE marriage. A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. He's not emotionally ready for marriage. Marrying such a man is like signing a contract for both emotional n physical abuse .

Pick yourself up, a better man is on the way.

bukatyne:
First, one year is too short for a long distance relationship.

Secondly, you dodged a serious bullet. You do not want a man/husband who is not humble/invested enough in your marriage to be respectful to your family.

I also do not understand the kind of engagement with your family that would lead to him being rude to them especially your father. Especially because your father was his fan and would have seen him through rose tinted eyes; also, a lot of men 'respect' their women/wives' father's irrespective of the madness they bring to the table.

While your family members are third parties in your marriage, PLEASE marry a man who respects and regards them.

Also his mom calling your mom without trying to make it work speaks volumes. Except she doesn't want the marriage to hold, she would have tried to pursue peace even if both of you (intended couple) are misbehaving. Or even get an understanding of what happened.

An advise to you: carry your family more respectably. I don't see any reason why he should be so 'familiar' with your family that he is 'arguing' with them. Except your aunt is an integral part of your household, I am wondering the business they have together in the first place.

Your analytical & judgement sense is commendable.
So also do I admire your sense of wrong & right.
I am wowed

Na two kinds of person dey difficult to live with....

(1)The one wey dey always complain come dey rude on top....nor be nagging onyinbo dey call am.

(2)The one wey dey always suspect.... lack of trust na onyinbo dey call am


O girl you lucky o

Na later you go happy say e happen, for you to meet the one wey better pass.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

I'm old enough to be your aunt. Baby girl, go and do Thanksgiving in church, you just dodged a bullet. Ah! This God loves you so much. Even if he changes his mind and apologises, don't listen to him. This is a miracle of God, no more.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

Better run...don't you guys did counseling at first, no matter how little?

Someone who can disrespect your father, you go see shege.

A lot of men arguing here lacks home training. I can't even do that to my father-in-law or her aunt. Wọn ò bimi da. Because I'm well brought up. If I don't like something, there is a diplomatic way to resolve it... And if you still insist, you're on your own...no one will place knife on my neck...

People should understand that during wedding preparations, tempers flare coz na the feathers of money dem dey pluck from each other's body...

As for the man, that's total wrong. And please, you too, pẹlẹ lakọ o labo.

Find a good man...not all these àwọn ọkùnrin irọlẹ ayé.

Romanoff:
My dear sis, don't listen to those calling your family entitled.

Those same family are the ones that will be there for you if your marriage doesn't work out.

They are the ones to intercede for you when things are wrong in your marriage and elders need to be invited.

If he doesn't regard your family before marriage, he will deal with you and you won't have any defence.

If he had issues with any member of your family, a sensible man will discuss the issues with you so you can handle it first.

My dear, go and carry plate of Thanksgiving and ignore the birds of a feather with plenty likes on front page calling your family entitled.

That's it...accurate

mariahAngel:
You dodged a bullet dear.
Be thankful.

Dear OP,I don't normally dabble into Marriage issues but let me summarised for:
- be at peace with yourself,as you haven't lost anything- for true love don't boast or complaint of itself! For love covered all things!
- move on with your life and trust God for a better tomorrow on the issue.
- God has revealed what you might have faced negatively for life- lack of respect, trouble and abandonement.
Don't mind anything people are saying that you or your parents caused it,for if such situation is turned on them,will they take it?
In fact ,go for thanksgiving!

To cut stories short...Madam please go and work on urself, try to understand that there should be no third party in your relationship this is why you need have a mind of ur own and not ur entire family telling u what and how to run ur relationship cox this is the simple truth and main reason why ur man left cox he saw the redflag on time and paid attention to the signs... Even if u meet 20 different men, with such behaviour only simps (women wrappar men) will want to be married into a family where they will be used and controlled like rags, no real man will ever accept marrying into such family...Pls Forget all those people telling u that God has done it for u...na lie!God never did anything for u rather u allowed the devil to use u and destroy urself by u not being decisive enough to stand ur foot on the ground and take ur decisions without ur family especially ur mom intruding. My advise here is try and work things with ur man, call him and plead with him pls remove pride or u can even use any of ur trusted friend or close relative to pacify him and also avoid listening to anyone cox whatever decisions u take today will decide ur tomorrow and note that even ur parents and family will not be held accountable of destroying ur life cox they've finished running their own race so its ur race now and u need start running it by taking ur own decisions into ur own hands and not someone babysitting u on what to do...alot of our family members are there to ruin us so pls dont be decieved!all those aunties and uncles they dont mean well for u so the high time u understand this the better for u cox i see no reason why ur aunty will vex cox of mere wedding engagement stuffs she assisted u with over ur future...let them mind their businesses when it comes to ur relationship cox ure an adult which means ure grown to absorb ur responsibilities. So pls forget whatever happened and pay attention on reconcilling and doing things better and by so doing ur man will be so relaxed enough to share with u the reasons for his actions. Alot of our parents (family members) have destroyed the lifes and futures of many of their kids all in the name of trying to protect them so pls dont fall for this otherwise ull never forgive urself cox the truth remains that ur man loves u but left u cox u could not stand, defend or speak for him before ur family members which is absolutely wrong of u. Nothing gives joy other than u believing and defending ur love before ur family no matter their errors always stand in for them in the presence of ur family cox this alone interprets how ur family members will start seeing him and it makes men feel more comfortable, relaxed, respected and valued around u and ur family members and friends and they will never take u for granted for this singular act. Men are scared of marrying into a family that will control them cox it kills their morale so pls dont always make any man feel that way cox there's a reason for being a man cox from ur write up ur mom seems very controlling and no man will ever be happy in such situation nor even want to be involved with such family. Learn to understand that there must be boundaries btw ur relationship and family and draw the line...The truth remains that ur man ur man loves you but can't talk love without respect cox they work together and this was what u never gave ur man before ur family that made him leave so please overlook whatever that happened, drop ur ego and pride, accept ur errors, seek for forgiveness and how to reconcil with ur man and i gurantee u he'll forgive and work things out again with u

Its funny how nobody see that this story is not even real......

Wedding don reach where them dey buy clothes....
Nigga just started insulting aunty because aunty wanted thank you for buying clothes,

Rude to dad, Over what?? Same thank you issue?
Rude to mum too, over what? all in one day?

The guy no send u at all..

Munzy14:
The guy got saved from a potential problem as well.

She is being influenced heavily by people around her..The Union won't even last stronger than a crackers biscuit.

I can't even date a lady who doesn't have a mind of her own, not to talk of marrying her.

She will be ever ready to be influenced and manipulated by external forces, there by denying the home the needed peace..Her type ga wu ndi ma Pastor said..My mom said, my Aunt said...no no no way.

She should wait for a man with her kind of character.

It is not always Rosy, but a lady I want to marry, putting the preparations on hold, till I apologise to her Aunt For a reason unserious is a total Fucc up.

so u wont respect ur in laws,was she rude to his own family? But in all she shd go 4 prayers lk sm1 rightly said dy av gone far to d extent of buyn engmt cloth.so to be able to really stand

That dude might just have saved his head. I'm not comfortable with the multiple entitlements of varying family members in your (previous) union. It's enough to weigh anyone down if you have to put aside your many concerns and start running after every Tom, Dick and Harry who feels the need to be listened to.

You should be the one to thank the Guy for even giving you money for the marriage preparation...Why should He thank your Aunt for assisting you to the Market...Her Niece... Walking away is the best thing to do