₦airaland Forum

MrSmithy:
I can 100% beat my chest that ure in ur husband's or a man's house and giving other ladies wrong advises...Na people like u wey Bible refer as Pharisees. Those type wey dey talk another and do another. Pls if uve got nothing to say try read comments

Hahaha... Try not to assume next time sir.

Splendidbeauty:
What is your relationship with God like, have you actually thought about it as evil manipulation?
My dear a wedding is not just about buying stuffs, it's a spiritual battle field.

Shut up, not everything is spiritual. You backward, indoctrinated black people!!

Aguiyimba:
How are you sure she's telling us the truth? Comrade before judge hear from the both before thunder fire you there. Onye ala

Nwannem Aburom onye ala. I am not judging only reacting to what she wrote as I am not a judge. Sincerely speaking even if she may add salt or sugar to it, there must be truth in what she complained about.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

This post was made by Nairaland mods to draw traffic.

boxer022:
Nwannem Aburom onye ala. I am not judging only reacting to what she wrote as I am not a judge. Sincerely speaking even if she may add salt or sugar to it, there must be truth in what she complained about.

Sorry man

boxer022:
Nwannem Aburom onye ala. I am not judging only reacting to what she wrote as I am not a judge. Sincerely speaking even if she may add salt or sugar to it, there must be truth in what she complained about.

Onyem sorry

Aguiyimba:
Onyem sorry

No problem brotherly.

GboyegaD:
Let me start from courtesy, in life everyone licks ass however, it is about knowing whose ass you want to lick. That she is with her aunt doesn't imply he needs talk to her. He's got no business with her and perhaps, he wasn't interested in the over familiarity. He doesn't owe her a thank you as such, it's got nothing to do with been courteous.

We don't have the details, it would be nice we don't overstress it. He did what was best for him the same way she did hers. If she wasn't feeling she did bad, she wouldn't have resolved to Nairaland. This is my opinion.

Oya naah make him go marry a m. Shey if someone come dey show your family say e no send any of you, say na only the girl e sabi, you go give a m ur sister? It's a big red flag - potentially he could do worst after marriage.

Let him go and try same shit in another family wey get strong level and ground, e no fit enter gate sef. Nonsense!

For the lady, she did the right thing. As a human being you have to use your God given senses to pick bad and embarrassing behaviour as early as possible in a relationship. Many people hide it and package themselves very well until marriage contract is drawn and signed, but if you are fortunate as this lady has, you should call your would-be partner to order and if he's not going to pay attention to it, then take a walk. You don't willingly and awakenly enter fire, it will burn you. Enough said.

mapist:
I second some of your points but for some, i disagree. Imagine being milked and your co-operation is still expected? This is why it is very difficult to blame the guy for his reaction.

I clearly said, unless he's being milked by his inlaws then he has the bragging right to react in a way to send a message that he's not a fool. But as the lady narrated, it's just ordinary courtesy for Christ sake. I know some relatives can be "busy-body" on things that doesn't concern them, but a smart and savvy guy would always know how to navigate thru and still go home with his trophy.

Marriage is not painted in black and white, it is a spectrum of uncertainties - all b/c people are involved. But if people are not involved, it can no longer be called marriage.

spiceadole:
If the guy don fvck you..Sorry

If he didn't smash your pusi... Congratulations..and move on.

Definitely, the guyman don chop. Useless lady planning to turn her husband to boy boy of her family. I stand with the guy. I can't take shit from my inlaws

Desireeee:
Hello young lady. Your story no complete. When this guy paid close to 300k to get you a job, you did not ask us maybe he loves you. You did not add that you are the first born and your parents wants one of your sisters to move in with you after the wedding so he can start taking care of them. You did not speak about how much he has spent for venue and the exorbitant amount your family asked him to bring for food during reception.
A proper yoruba family will make sure an introduction takes place before the wedding no matter what. Can you tell us why your family want to rush everything and make sure all is done on the same day? If your aunt who only followed you to the market to buy stuffs expects thank you, what should the person who sent you the money to buy the stuffs do then? Or you don't know many people contributed to get you that money.
Someone has spent close to 3.5m for a wedding, your aunt destroyed everything just because of "thank you". How much did she contribute? Please note that this guy has not received salary as he just got a job too and just got captured to IPPIS.
Don't come here to play emotional blackmail. You threatened him with the wedding, he found out you and your family has been using him as ATM and he left.
If you and your parents have put in efforts and funds in the wedding, will you threaten to put it on hold? It was because he bankrolled everything.
Lots of receipts dey here in case you want to press further.

Baba throw more light. You seem to be the man in question. If so, congratulations. I hate entitlement mentality. You go marry daughter come dey house and feed her sister again. Nonsense.

EagleNest:
I clearly said, unless he's being milked by his inlaws then he has the bragging right to react in a way to send a message that he's not a fool. But as the lady narrated, it's just ordinary courtesy for Christ sake. I know some relatives can be "busy-body" on things that doesn't concern them, but a smart and savvy guy would always know how to navigate thru and still go home with his trophy.

Marriage is not painted in black and white, it is a spectrum of uncertainties - all b/c people are involved. But if people are not involved, it can no longer be called marriage.

"In this case" clearly states your position and negates the "milk" narrative. Perhaps, a grammatical mix up. Your point is now clear, regardless.

oldienavie:
The bolded would only be true if the lady was a virgin.

This your comment made me fell off from my chair lol

I done hear the guy side of the story true true wetin u family pipu do no good

Desireeee:
Hello young lady. Your story no complete. When this guy paid close to 300k to get you a job, you did not ask us maybe he loves you. You did not add that you are the first born and your parents wants one of your sisters to move in with you after the wedding so he can start taking care of them. You did not speak about how much he has spent for venue and the exorbitant amount your family asked him to bring for food during reception.
A proper yoruba family will make sure an introduction takes place before the wedding no matter what. Can you tell us why your family want to rush everything and make sure all is done on the same day? If your aunt who only followed you to the market to buy stuffs expects thank you, what should the person who sent you the money to buy the stuffs do then? Or you don't know many people contributed to get you that money.
Someone has spent close to 3.5m for a wedding, your aunt destroyed everything just because of "thank you". How much did she contribute? Please note that this guy has not received salary as he just got a job too and just got captured to IPPIS.
Don't come here to play emotional blackmail. You threatened him with the wedding, he found out you and your family has been using him as ATM and he left.
If you and your parents have put in efforts and funds in the wedding, will you threaten to put it on hold? It was because he bankrolled everything.
Lots of receipts dey here in case you want to press further.

I said it. It was one sided story the lady told us here. She has run now that other party is here.

Desireeee:
Hello young lady. Your story no complete. When this guy paid close to 300k to get you a job, you did not ask us maybe he loves you. You did not add that you are the first born and your parents wants one of your sisters to move in with you after the wedding so he can start taking care of them. You did not speak about how much he has spent for venue and the exorbitant amount your family asked him to bring for food during reception.
A proper yoruba family will make sure an introduction takes place before the wedding no matter what. Can you tell us why your family want to rush everything and make sure all is done on the same day? If your aunt who only followed you to the market to buy stuffs expects thank you, what should the person who sent you the money to buy the stuffs do then? Or you don't know many people contributed to get you that money.
Someone has spent close to 3.5m for a wedding, your aunt destroyed everything just because of "thank you". How much did she contribute? Please note that this guy has not received salary as he just got a job too and just got captured to IPPIS.
Don't come here to play emotional blackmail. You threatened him with the wedding, he found out you and your family has been using him as ATM and he left.
If you and your parents have put in efforts and funds in the wedding, will you threaten to put it on hold? It was because he bankrolled everything.
Lots of receipts dey here in case you want to press further.

This is full of intrigues...

Everyone knows she was economical with the truth.

Please, tell us more. Are you the fiance?

Olorun a wa pelu yin

egorov:
Things like this happen when wedding plans are ongoing, it is normal for tensions to rise. I remember telling my wife we should postpone our wedding when i noticed that it was coming at me too fast and was affecting my psych, but she remained calm and also helped me ease off the tension, the wedding eventually held as planned and I later apologised to her for my actions and inactions. That is exactly what you should have done in this situation. Believe me, you already have a biased mind towards him in an involuntary response to your mom's reservations about him. Back to my experience....My wife's family did all the running around, as per venue, clothes, decor etc, right from introduction to wedding. Mine and my family's part was just to send money when necessary, no one asked for any appreciation, I think your aunt, sorry to say, was a little bit feeling entitled to have some apologies, forgetting that she was also doing it for you.

On his part, no matter what, he should never have gotten into an argument with any of your family members, he should learn to calm his nerves.

Finally, maybe God does not even want the union to happen in the first place. PRAY to God and ask for directions.

This is man speaking, #respect

ahnie:
Hey God!!!comfort why have you been?
It's bn ages my God.
Wow it's nice seeing you dropping by.

Good morning.

Sis!!! I salute you from here..

Well, all I have to say is God understand why it all turn out this way, because with all you have said its a thing you can easily sought out within yourselv it shouldn't have led to breaking up. That's why I said God understand. Just continue to trust God and I know the best man will come soon.