₦airaland Forum

Don't rush her, she is angry with you because, it appears she is disappointed you are not accepting all of the responsibility. I will advise you give her time, she will likely come back to her senses. Again, there is more you can do about accepting what she want, let her know you are doing that with pain, love for her and the baby. Agree to take them in and gradually sort them out after the marriage. I hope u understand what i mean. May God provide for you to take the huge responsibility. I love your kind of heart toward her and your baby. You are blessed.

I feel she is trying to negotiate. Accepting four mouths feels like a family structure readjustment situation. Like you opined, accept the younger ones and let the bigger ones find their way.

Was she taking care of them herself before now and will the baby caring responsibilities affect her earnings?
How old are the two youngest siblings of hers? Are they in school?

Tob456:
Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is 7 months pregnant. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me cos I didn't want to carry the responsibility of her four sisters.

She is 24 orphen and the oldest of seven children. She is a fruit seller and the pregnancy wasn't plan she took in 6 months into the relationship but I have accepted the responsibility and I wanted to make her my wife.

First of all I wanted us to discussed about her sisters living arrangements after the wedding and she said she wanted to bring all four who are under 18 to live with us after the wedding and I rejected.

I suggested that the youngest two can live with us while the other two can stay with the aunty but she refused.

She said the relationship was over and she doesn't need me in her life that she will take care of the baby alone.

I've told her even if she doesn't want me in her life anymore she should not stop me from helping her financially because I want our baby to be born in good condition but she refused.

Last week I sent 30k to her account for baby stuffs and she sent the money back to me saying she doesn't need a kobo from me she will take care of the baby alone.

I want to leave her alone but it is hard for me to do so cos she is carrying my child. It will not be easy for me to give up easily I just want to be a part of my daughter life. What do you guys think please?

Is she short? Cos na short girls dey stubborn like this.

For now, Continue to send her what you can afford. If she returns it, keep it safe and send along with another. I believe as soon as the money gets a huge amount she cannot return, her mind will come down a little.

Continue to let her have reasons why you can't allow her other sisters stay with you. That can also change her mind.

Talk to her Aunt as well. I believe she's matured enough to understand your plight about espsin this Buhari era.

Just ensure you talk or text her often.

Keep doing this and keep receipts because one day and someday, issues might arise. Only receipts will exonerate you.

entrep88:
I really like what she has done to you, there is high possibility you have made her feel she was a leech and probably said more than what you have written it's not nice, she is an orphan am sure you know all these when you were enjoying her honeypot. To be fair, I would prefer to hear from her before any advice because for denying your responsibility initially put question mark on your integrity.

I'm not sure you read the post. If you did, you can never find anywhere he wrote that he "denied responsibility"

ZIMDRILL:
Give her space for now, while you save the money you are meant to be giving her. For now i think its the pregnant hormones raging

When reality kicks in, she will need your help. Think of it if she is really capable of looking after the child alone, then why does she want her sisters to live with you?

the same advice I would have given too and please don't allow the 4 sibling move to your house oh

FAMILY issues

Everyday we have Relationship,Marriage problems flooding the FrontPage.
I'm like wtf!
Twist your problems in the woods and get real High!

Tob456:
Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is 7 months pregnant. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me cos I didn't want to carry the responsibility of her four sisters.

She is 24 orphen and the oldest of seven children. She is a fruit seller and the pregnancy wasn't plan she took in 6 months into the relationship but I have accepted the responsibility and I wanted to make her my wife.

First of all I wanted us to discussed about her sisters living arrangements after the wedding and she said she wanted to bring all four who are under 18 to live with us after the wedding and I rejected.

I suggested that the youngest two can live with us while the other two can stay with the aunty but she refused.

She said the relationship was over and she doesn't need me in her life that she will take care of the baby alone.

I've told her even if she doesn't want me in her life anymore she should not stop me from helping her financially because I want our baby to be born in good condition but she refused.

Last week I sent 30k to her account for baby stuffs and she sent the money back to me saying she doesn't need a kobo from me she will take care of the baby alone.

I want to leave her alone but it is hard for me to do so cos she is carrying my child. It will not be easy for me to give up easily I just want to be a part of my daughter life. What do you guys think please?

Why don't you take her matter to the Industrial Court?

Na wa o.
How can you be so careless nau?
Anyways the greatest mistake you can make is allowing any siblings live with you. It's either her alone or no one as it's too early to begin to have relatives over when you both are even still fresh in the relationship.
I don't like reading or hearing of unplanned pregnancies at all. I hate carelessness!

Look for a relative of hers and speak to the relative to avoid your child being turned against you.
Finally (I know ladies won't like this one) - ENSURE YOU DO A DNA TEST TO BE SURE THE CHILD IS YOURS

Whoever is against this can deal with it, it's your problem

Tob456:
Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is 7 months pregnant. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me cos I didn't want to carry the responsibility of her four sisters.

She is 24 orphen and the oldest of seven children. She is a fruit seller and the pregnancy wasn't plan she took in 6 months into the relationship but I have accepted the responsibility and I wanted to make her my wife.

First of all I wanted us to discussed about her sisters living arrangements after the wedding and she said she wanted to bring all four who are under 18 to live with us after the wedding and I rejected.

I suggested that the youngest two can live with us while the other two can stay with the aunty but she refused.

She said the relationship was over and she doesn't need me in her life that she will take care of the baby alone.

I've told her even if she doesn't want me in her life anymore she should not stop me from helping her financially because I want our baby to be born in good condition but she refused.

Last week I sent 30k to her account for baby stuffs and she sent the money back to me saying she doesn't need a kobo from me she will take care of the baby alone.

I want to leave her alone but it is hard for me to do so cos she is carrying my child. It will not be easy for me to give up easily I just want to be a part of my daughter life. What do you guys think please?

she will be back, don’t stress.

Rozross:
If you are financially capable please help all of them and accept her sisters as yours. Also know that God will punish you if you abandon her in her pregnancy state that you are responsible for. Keep begging her to accept your help

Apparently, you're a female.
Na so una blackmail men till them enter premature grave.
Why would he accept the responsibility of catering for 4 adults who are not his responsibility ab initio?
Switch the roles now,the same woman will never agree to live with the man's brothers,even if its just for them to come home and sleep and go out the following morning cos Nigerian women do not have a problem staying with their own siblings but never see eye to eye with their husbands relatives.

lomprico:
Is she short? Cos na short girls dey stubborn like this.

Short girls with small boobs!

Na poverty u dey write letter even though u help out with d sisters at d end they will still qbuse say na Wetin u do (you done nothing for them)
Abeg if she's refuse any help from u Abeg move on and built yur self na so them they behave as if d world rotate around
Don't let anybody blackmail with a child love it never end well
Personal expirence sha

This is manipulation

Tob456:
Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is 7 months pregnant. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me cos I didn't want to carry the responsibility of her four sisters.

She is 24 orphen and the oldest of seven children. She is a fruit seller and the pregnancy wasn't plan she took in 6 months into the relationship but I have accepted the responsibility and I wanted to make her my wife.

First of all I wanted us to discussed about her sisters living arrangements after the wedding and she said she wanted to bring all four who are under 18 to live with us after the wedding and I rejected.

I suggested that the youngest two can live with us while the other two can stay with the aunty but she refused.

She said the relationship was over and she doesn't need me in her life that she will take care of the baby alone.

I've told her even if she doesn't want me in her life anymore she should not stop me from helping her financially because I want our baby to be born in good condition but she refused.

Last week I sent 30k to her account for baby stuffs and she sent the money back to me saying she doesn't need a kobo from me she will take care of the baby alone.

I want to leave her alone but it is hard for me to do so cos she is carrying my child. It will not be easy for me to give up easily I just want to be a part of my daughter life. What do you guys think please?

She's the eldest she feels responsible for her younger ones. Tell her they can all live with u just to please her even if u don't mean it. Then have a proper discussion on how that living arrangement can possibly work.


Whatever the case make sure they are not a liability and u must put they stay to profitable use by doing whatever work is available. living in ur house will not be free and will come with rules.

By this u will have the power to control ur household.

later on u can make adjustments on why some have to go and find alternatives if the living arrangements isn't working. By this she will know u atleast gave her opinion a try.

Goodluck.

Saintmary:
She said she doesn't need your money because you have been rubbing her poverty in her face.

She's better off without you.

Hahahahaha God abeg o protect ur sons o...make toxicity no kill dem o

Tob456:
Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is 7 months pregnant. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me cos I didn't want to carry the responsibility of her four sisters.

She is 24 orphen and the oldest of seven children. She is a fruit seller and the pregnancy wasn't plan she took in 6 months into the relationship but I have accepted the responsibility and I wanted to make her my wife.

First of all I wanted us to discussed about her sisters living arrangements after the wedding and she said she wanted to bring all four who are under 18 to live with us after the wedding and I rejected.

I suggested that the youngest two can live with us while the other two can stay with the aunty but she refused.

She said the relationship was over and she doesn't need me in her life that she will take care of the baby alone.

I've told her even if she doesn't want me in her life anymore she should not stop me from helping her financially because I want our baby to be born in good condition but she refused.

Last week I sent 30k to her account for baby stuffs and she sent the money back to me saying she doesn't need a kobo from me she will take care of the baby alone.

I want to leave her alone but it is hard for me to do so cos she is carrying my child. It will not be easy for me to give up easily I just want to be a part of my daughter life. What do you guys think please?

The girl sounds like plateau or Kaduna girl. Anyway you have to take all 4 and gradually graduate them from your house. Didn't you know they were orphans when you were knacking raw? Yeye boy

Tob456:
Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is 7 months pregnant. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me cos I ts after the wedding and she said she wanted to bring all four who are under 18 to live with us after the wedding and I rejected.



I want to leave her alone but it is hard for me to do so cos she is carrying my child. It will not be easy for me to give up easily I just want to be a part of my daughter life. What do you guys think please?

All you did was right.
1. Asking for only two to join you
2. Sending N30k
3. Wanting to marry her
4. Rejecting the four staying with you

(Except delaying to take responsibility).

The girl seems to have problems and lack of experience.

I am praying for you. Keep your heart open,

RE:
1. AT LEAST KEEP PHYSICALLY SEEING HER.

2. Her four sisters CAN'T stay with you. Maybe 1 or none, maximum.

3. What you should do is think of a plan for all six of them. Anyhow you could allocate them to occupations or whatever.
4. Then marrying your wife. It ends there.

Be rest assured that she will be internally AGREEING with any right move you take even if she doesn't show it. So do the right thing. Say NO to the wrong one. In the long run all shall be fine for eight of you + baby.

5. Keep sending back N20K, N30K. Make she use her hand revert am. Send forever. Let me see the hand that will send it back. (If she sends back, send back). You need to structurally re-educate her. (She missed on much through orphanhood).

God's grace.

chatinent:
It's a difficult situation...

1. You can't let her alone suffer in this condition with your baby.

2. It's quite difficult and almost impossible to feed four extra mouths, yourself, your wife-to-be, and her unborn baby.

Anyways, needless to judge you, let's do the positive.

I think she loves her sisters so much and don't want anyone to exploit or abuse them. But of course, she shouldn't make it look like your responsibility.

That aside. If you can, can you discuss renting a place for the other two clearly stating the degree of inconvenience it will be for all four to be with you both? Maybe, starting sth like a small-scale business they can manage and sell? Even if two of the eldest manage the business and the other little two stay with you? If you can?

Is it sth you can afford?

There are no rules in love.

Don't get me wrong. I know it's not your responsibility...but like you said, she's an orphan. Maybe she feeds her siblings..and of course, this condition will prevent that. I don't see any wrong in helping people if I have the means either.

Also attempt to erase the thought of you doing her a favor, maybe by sending her money for upkeep. Yeah, I know it's common for folks to advise you to stop sending the money since it looks like a favor...but man, remember it's your life that happens not theirs. It's your baby.

I see you only have a problem with their staying with you..but haven't a problem helping them. Whilst it may look impossible, if you are in a situation to help them from your heart, you can do so without inconveniencing yourself too.


Nice of you to take responsibility!
Ignore the irritants!
Be the man.

I wish you success.


Lalasticlala, mynd44 come help this OP

There is so much wisdom in all you have said. Nothing to add. More wisdom sir

tunapawizzy:
Hahahahaha God abeg o protect ur sons o...make toxicity no kill dem o

God should protect your sons even as they are sleeping around with reckless abandon.

Upon all this advice expect op to do watin day in mind and get into more problems

tensazangetsu20:
na wa o. Goodluck to op. He don buy market for the next 25 to 30 years . Not just his unborn child. The wives siblings and also his own family

So the sisters no go marry their own husbands abi?

Tob456:
Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is 7 months pregnant. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me cos I didn't want to carry the responsibility of her four sisters.

She is 24 orphen and the oldest of seven children. She is a fruit seller and the pregnancy wasn't plan she took in 6 months into the relationship but I have accepted the responsibility and I wanted to make her my wife.

First of all I wanted us to discussed about her sisters living arrangements after the wedding and she said she wanted to bring all four who are under 18 to live with us after the wedding and I rejected.

I suggested that the youngest two can live with us while the other two can stay with the aunty but she refused.

She said the relationship was over and she doesn't need me in her life that she will take care of the baby alone.

I've told her even if she doesn't want me in her life anymore she should not stop me from helping her financially because I want our baby to be born in good condition but she refused.

Last week I sent 30k to her account for baby stuffs and she sent the money back to me saying she doesn't need a kobo from me she will take care of the baby alone.

I want to leave her alone but it is hard for me to do so cos she is carrying my child. It will not be easy for me to give up easily I just want to be a part of my daughter life. What do you guys think please?

No matter what happen, don't get more than room and palour self contain as accommodation. He gets why.

entrep88:
I really like what she has done to you, there is high possibility you have made her feel she was a leech and probably said more than what you have written it's not nice, she is an orphan am sure you know all these when you were enjoying her honeypot. To be fair, I would prefer to hear from her before any advice because for denying your responsibility initially put question mark on your integrity.

Foolish talk! Lol

Saintmary:
She said she doesn't need your money because you have been rubbing her poverty in her face.




She's better off without you.

C comment. Pls leave sentiment n give reasonable advice. Imagine if op happened to b ur brother will u make this up.

lomprico:
So the sisters no go marry their own husbands abi?

They are below 18 according to the op so at least 8 to 10 years of him shouldering their responsibility and 25 to 30 for his child. His life is over basically except he wants to be a deadbeat.

wunmi590:


This is a difficult situation to dissect.

1. Reach to that her sister, and discuss issues with her based on the plan you have for her...

2. Try as much as possible to reach your pregnant girl also and ask if she will foot the bill of the girls she's bringing, if her answer is affirmative, then you have nothing to fear...

And if after they move in she can't afford to foot their bills anymore, what will happen, the man should push them out? So that the world can come for his head as a wicked human being and selfish inlaw.
Op anything wey go require ur financial commitment, if you don't know how to end it, do not start it.

Tob456:
Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is 7 months pregnant. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me cos I didn't want to carry the responsibility of her four sisters.

She is 24 orphen and the oldest of seven children. She is a fruit seller and the pregnancy wasn't plan she took in 6 months into the relationship but I have accepted the responsibility and I wanted to make her my wife.

First of all I wanted us to discussed about her sisters living arrangements after the wedding and she said she wanted to bring all four who are under 18 to live with us after the wedding and I rejected.

I suggested that the youngest two can live with us while the other two can stay with the aunty but she refused.

She said the relationship was over and she doesn't need me in her life that she will take care of the baby alone.

I've told her even if she doesn't want me in her life anymore she should not stop me from helping her financially because I want our baby to be born in good condition but she refused.

Last week I sent 30k to her account for baby stuffs and she sent the money back to me saying she doesn't need a kobo from me she will take care of the baby alone.

I want to leave her alone but it is hard for me to do so cos she is carrying my child. It will not be easy for me to give up easily I just want to be a part of my daughter life. What do you guys think please?

in this type of situation ooo my guy it's better u wise up bcuz there is a possibility that another rich guy is wooing her and want to take that child away from you.... na poor man wife dem dey collect not child

Oloniyan:
Did you read the whole thing at all?

I don't think so

Lol, mental people full everywhere

Calibrator:
A lady taking sole responsibility for her younger siblings is a single mother in my own opinion.

Before you start dicking a lady raw on a constant basis, there are some questions you should ask because of unforeseen circumstances.

Shove that your opinion deep into your shithole.

Tob456:
Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is 7 months pregnant. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me cos I didn't want to carry the responsibility of her four sisters.

She is 24 orphen and the oldest of seven children. She is a fruit seller and the pregnancy wasn't plan she took in 6 months into the relationship but I have accepted the responsibility and I wanted to make her my wife.

First of all I wanted us to discussed about her sisters living arrangements after the wedding and she said she wanted to bring all four who are under 18 to live with us after the wedding and I rejected.

I suggested that the youngest two can live with us while the other two can stay with the aunty but she refused.

She said the relationship was over and she doesn't need me in her life that she will take care of the baby alone.


I've told her even if she doesn't want me in her life anymore she should not stop me from helping her financially because I want our baby to be born in good condition but she refused.

Last week I sent 30k to her account for baby stuffs and she sent the money back to me saying she doesn't need a kobo from me she will take care of the baby alone.

I want to leave her alone but it is hard for me to do so cos she is carrying my child. It will not be easy for me to give up easily I just want to be a part of my daughter life. What do you guys think please?

Eeyah. Pls, do you live in a 3-bedroom apartment? And can ur work really cater for all of you? If yes, pls help, if no please, leave her alone. I hate stubborn girls. How would u send 30k in these hard times and she will send it back? Na u kill her parents? It is unfair wen some ladies are unreasonable! Does she know ur pocket? No curse can penetrate you since your mind is clear about helping her and two other more! kilode? O se wa dogun?