₦airaland Forum

DSS1335:
Thank you for your honest advise.

We have been able to trace through the help of the estate caretaker and contacted her aunty who was their grandmother's point of contact in PH through out their 3 months stay. She has accepted to help us mediate in the case, she will inform her Mother (the boy's grandma) and her sister(the boy's mother) about all that transpired. That the boy lives with his parents in Obigbo before ABA. If all efforts to resolve this case peacefully fails, i will file for statutory rape charge.



This doesn't make any sense!
What will she gain for withholding such a very sensitive information from us?

When she was in SS1, i was forced to change her school after 3rd term, she confided in my wife that one of her male teacher was giving her undue attention to the point of inviting her to his house coupled with the fact that senior boys in her school were also disturbing her.

This girl doesn't lack anything, whatever she needs or payment that comes, we clear it.
We live comfortably in my 3 bedroom flat. She has her own room, i don't allow her to watch any kind of indecent movie or music by ensuring that such channels are under lock filtering out only cartoon, starlife, zeeworld, and other children friendly channels. my wife has her room but we sleep together with our 2 kids.

Sometimes in June, my wife went through her phone call history, she receives call only from the guy constantly and other female friends whom we assumed were her classmates. we inquired what association she has with this boy that calls her all time even at odd hours of the night. we knew something wasnt ok as WhatsApp chat and sms were deleted. She wasn't allowed to use Facebook as we tried our best to keep her under close watch. On weekends, in our presence, she isn't allowed to use phone as my wife always hold it.
What else could we have done. Our best wasn't enough i guess! And yes, my wife taught her sex education, i guess she was just too stupid, gullible, naive to fall for whatever the boy said. This a big lesson to all parents. We have learnt ours in a very hard way

NoToPile:
Well a lot of times these things don't happen as a direct maid sort of thing, it always start with one person saying let my daughter live with you people and you take care of her education feeding and all to them its one burden less.

So the girl lives with them and they send her to school, she takes care of the younger ones as siblings also does chores

Some of these situations is kind of similar to the nwa boy matter. Lots of girls who had no hope or means as a result of the poverty level of their parents have made something out of their lives from such arrangements.


9 out of 10 times these arrangements are as a result of poverty, like the scenerio of this girl /family the OP painted.

pocohantas:
This is another reason I don’t endorse underaged maid. Nothing on this earth can ever make it appealing to me.

If you are not 22yrs and above, I have no business with you. Shalom!

PJtech:
Lack of supervision from parent/guardian. A girl got 5month pregnant under ur roof, you negleted ur guardian role(ur wife should take 90% of the blame)

do have a talk with ur wife, never leave ur kids with same fate as this poor girl.... Learn from this mistake

Richy4:

Sorry to say this but I don't agree with your friend especially with the red ink ...

U can't administer anything like contraceptive injection to a minor that is not your child without getting the parent's consent... Or without the child even knowing what you were doing... It's wrong in all ramifications... Let's just say he said that under the influence of alcohol

pocohantas:
Let nobody’s child live with me. A lot of times it starts as a maid. Most Nigerians actually go out to seek these kids from poor homes. It is the reason it is common among lower middle class homes. They don’t take these kids when they are single, it is until they are married with need for a nanny for house chores and babysitting that they automatically remember this arrangement. The rich do not have people’s kids living with them because they can afford cooks and drivers. If they are so nice, they embark on direct philanthropy and sponsorship of educations.

It would never be right to me…

mariahAngel:
You are disrespectful and a bully.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself!

Also, you didn't make any sense.
Not then, and certainly not now.

Your wish is to silence females, and that is never going to be possible.
Everyone has the right to an opinion, but (some of) you hate it when females give their opinions.
I will continue to "shalaye", whether you like it or not.

pocohantas:
Let nobody’s child live with me. A lot of times it starts as a maid. Most Nigerians actually go out to seek these kids from poor homes. It is the reason it is common among lower middle class homes. They don’t take these kids when they are single, it is until they are married with need for a nanny for house chores and babysitting that they automatically remember this arrangement. The rich do not have people’s kids living with them because they can afford cooks and drivers. If they are so nice, they embark on direct philanthropy and sponsorship of educations.

It would never be right to me…

nedekid:
My bro it is wrong, we know. But ultimately one is helping the person. Could it be considered different from condoms etc? After all there is no age limit to which a person can buy condoms abroad. Even in western countries, a doctor or nurse will administer contraceptives to even a 13 year old with strict guidelines not to inform the parents.
Anyway I concur with you it seems to be unethical. (alcohol tins).

Annahh:
I know a couple of ladies that if not for the fact that their parents sent them to live with someone , they wouldn't have even seen the four walls of teritiary institution, for example my aunt husband is rich and they had a young boy that stayed with them from a young age till he finished nysc, they trained him in primary, secondary and university, even sponsored his wedding, gave him a job cause he is very loyal.
My employer has a girl that they trained from jss till she entered teritary institution, one of my employer's friend got married to her. It helps sometimes. I don't mind someone staying with me when I get married, I lived with someone when I was younger and things were tough for my family then, they trained me in secondary school till I later left their house when things got better for my family.

Richy4:
OP, Please ignore anyone that wants to blame you or your family on this thread... U did your best...

Just go ahead with your plans of tracking the boy down... Inform his parents that their son got responsibilities now...

What I have to tell u is that despite her pregnancy/ mistakes, some girls still gets their act right in terms of future endeavours... If she wants to go back to school 2 or 3yrs after child delivery, it's still possible... Pregnancy is not a death sentence... She's just a teenager and they make mistakes..

N.B Thank God it wasn't you buddy...I guess you are too honourable to do that....
But my mind was skipping on your behalf.. imagining the scenario and what would be going through your wife's mind as she was trying to extract the information from her....

DSS1335:
I am writing this with a sorrowful heart!
This is quite a lengthy piece!!


In 2018, My wife brought a live-in maid toward the end of her gestational period as we eagerly anticipate the birth of our first fruit after 8 years of marriage.

We took the young girl as part of our family, she was just 13 years old in JSS2 at the time she joined us. She does minor household chores, like washing the dishes, keeping the house in and out clean, that's all. I made sure
her education was not interrupted, she continued her schooling from Js3 till she completed her SSCE this year. Outsiders thought she was my first child considering the way she was being taken good care of.

At 16 years age, the evidence of proper nutrition was so glaring in her physique, the young girl of yesterday was already a beautiful damsel. I protected her from ravenous men old enough to be her father. Even from her classmates. Perhaps the mistake i made was in buying her phone before WAEC exam started. Well, the need for constant communication can not be overemphasized because i and my wife go out for work in the morning. My wife comes back in the day while i return back in the evening. Living her our 2 kids in her care: My first Child is 3 years plus in Nursery, the second is about 2 years in Prenursery.

When her mother made a stop by to visit her daughter 5 months ago after 4 years, she was so full of praise and thanking us for taking good care of her daughter, and begged us to allow her stay longer with us rather than her returning back to the village after completing her WAEC. I and my wife plan that i will take up the responsibility to train her up in University so she can be light to her family. Her elder siblings didn't complete their secondary school!

Today, all those dreams and aspirations have been shattered! The innocent girl child i took as a daughter is 5 months pregnant without even knowing she was pregnant! How possible? I could have swear with my life that she was still a virgin and innocent. Damm it! Where do I start from eh??

Well, my wife was rattled up by a what she called a terrible nightmare, she dreamt that she saw her girl carrying a new born baby. That was around 3 A.M she woke her up from sleep and asked her if she was pregnant, the girl denied it ignorantly. My wife had no reason to suspect her as she always buy her pads for her monthly menses except for this month. Then examined her and her suspicion became heightened as she saw a remarkable changes, her bra can't fit any longer, her bellybutton was out with black line running down! She ordered her to pee and run her test kit, it came back positive! My wife broke down in tears.

That morning, we didn't go to work for the day. we grilled her with questions. She confessed to us that she had intercourse only once in the month MAY yet she was still seeing her monthly menses. That she had a boy friend whom they secretly communicate on phone every day. That she lost her virginity to the boy. And they did it only ones in less than 30 minutes as she came back to check the kids who were still sleeping in the afternoon.

The boy came to visit her grand mother who return from the USA, she refused traveling to the East due to insecurities and rented a flat opposite my compound for just 3 months from March to June. During her stay, all her children and grandchildren came to visit her. It was one of her grand son that lured my maid and took advantage of her innocences.

We contacted the boy on phone and told him what happened, he denied it that it is impossible for him to be held responsible that he had sex with her only once and that's not enough to get a girl pregnant! I swear,i could have dealt with him fatally if he were within my reach. Well, i was able to comport myself and explain to him in details after which he kept quiet. He is just 20 years old awaiting admission. We have informed the girl's mother too who became shock and cold! And asked her daughter to return back to the village!

Considering this scenario, i came up with the plan to make that boy and family take up the responsibility of the pregnancy, she can't remain with my family anymore so as not draw unnecessary attention. I will track down the boy and his family and file a statutory rape charge against them if all avenue to resolve this case peacefully fail. From Pregnancy to child care is no joke. My people that is no joke at all. I feel very bad and compassionate for the innocent young girl who will be forced to sacrifice her future to be in the family way.

Any honest advise on how best to tackle this issue at hand would be appreciated

pocohantas:
You don’t need to live with me for me to train you. I have a dependent and she doesn’t need to do nanny duties for her to be trained. Once you have to work for me to have your fees paid, then it becomes transactional and I, Pocohantas, would NEVER indulge in such.

BlackAIIDay:
Can I apply to be your maid boss, I swear I won't misbehave

ecolime:
We have one already. Sorry bro.

sweetman2022:
If the family of the boy will not take care of the baby. You can go ahead and report it as a statutory rape against the boy or you focus on helping the girl and her mother taking care of the baby coming on its way. You have tried for what you have done for the family. The only minus I can detect from your side is you guys failed to give the girl a good sex education in which every teenager needs. That is the stage of their life where their ignorance is at peak and can mar them for life. You guys probably assume her to be innocent and leave her just like that. Well this is an example to follow a better path towards your own children about giving them early sex education, so they will be better prepare for the wolves out there.

DSS1335:
Thank you for your honest advise.

We have been able to trace through the help of the estate caretaker and contacted her aunty who was their grandmother's point of contact in PH through out their 3 months stay. She has accepted to help us mediate in the case, she will inform her Mother (the boy's grandma) and her sister(the boy's mother) about all that transpired. That the boy lives with his parents in Obigbo before ABA. If all efforts to resolve this case peacefully fails, i will file for statutory rape charge.



This doesn't make any sense!
What will she gain for withholding such a very sensitive information from us?

When she was in SS1, i was forced to change her school after 3rd term, she confided in my wife that one of her male teacher was giving her undue attention to the point of inviting her to his house coupled with the fact that senior boys in her school were also disturbing her.

This girl doesn't lack anything, whatever she needs or payment that comes, we clear it.
We live comfortably in my 3 bedroom flat. She has her own room, i don't allow her to watch any kind of indecent movie or music by ensuring that such channels are under lock filtering out only cartoon, starlife, zeeworld, and other children friendly channels. my wife has her room but we sleep together with our 2 kids.

Sometimes in June, my wife went through her phone call history, she receives call only from the guy constantly and other female friends whom we assumed were her classmates. we inquired what association she has with this boy that calls her all time even at odd hours of the night. we knew something wasnt ok as WhatsApp chat and sms were deleted. She wasn't allowed to use Facebook as we tried our best to keep her under close watch. On weekends, in our presence, she isn't allowed to use phone as my wife always hold it.
What else could we have done. Our best wasn't enough i guess! And yes, my wife taught her sex education, i guess she was just too stupid, gullible, naive to fall for whatever the boy said. This a big lesson to all parents. We have learnt ours in a very hard way

DSS1335:
Thank you for your honest advise.

We have been able to trace through the help of the estate caretaker and contacted her aunty who was their grandmother's point of contact in PH through out their 3 months stay. She has accepted to help us mediate in the case, she will inform her Mother (the boy's grandma) and her sister(the boy's mother) about all that transpired. That the boy lives with his parents in Obigbo before ABA. If all efforts to resolve this case peacefully fails, i will file for statutory rape charge.



This doesn't make any sense!
What will she gain for withholding such a very sensitive information from us?

When she was in SS1, i was forced to change her school after 3rd term, she confided in my wife that one of her male teacher was giving her undue attention to the point of inviting her to his house coupled with the fact that senior boys in her school were also disturbing her.

This girl doesn't lack anything, whatever she needs or payment that comes, we clear it.
We live comfortably in my 3 bedroom flat. She has her own room, i don't allow her to watch any kind of indecent movie or music by ensuring that such channels are under lock filtering out only cartoon, starlife, zeeworld, and other children friendly channels. my wife has her room but we sleep together with our 2 kids.

Sometimes in June, my wife went through her phone call history, she receives call only from the guy constantly and other female friends whom we assumed were her classmates. we inquired what association she has with this boy that calls her all time even at odd hours of the night. we knew something wasnt ok as WhatsApp chat and sms were deleted. She wasn't allowed to use Facebook as we tried our best to keep her under close watch. On weekends, in our presence, she isn't allowed to use phone as my wife always hold it.
What else could we have done. Our best wasn't enough i guess! And yes, my wife taught her sex education, i guess she was just too stupid, gullible, naive to fall for whatever the boy said. This a big lesson to all parents. We have learnt ours in a very hard way

Beey:
You taking the girl in and supporting her education is commendable. It sounds like she was a bit idle and that’s how she found time to meet with the young man. I want to believe that she’s not as naive as people may want to make it sound. At that age, she must have had some biology lessons. It was probably curiosity and the excitement of being told that she’s loved, that pushed her into that situation. Now with that said, my advise is for you to reconsider your decision. People fall down and then get back up again. Pregnancy though highly discouraged at her age, is not the cause for her to receive a lifetime of condemnation. Have her go to the village and have the baby. Let her stay till the baby is weaned. Am sure she’ll face difficulties that will force her to mature and focus. After that, she can leave the baby with her mother and go back to school. Please save her from becoming another addition to statistics of poverty and lack of education. Please continue to sponsor her studies as you had planned. Take her as if she were your own daughter who made a mistake and give her a 2nd chance. In the future, go for domestic help who are over 18 years old and can handle the consequences of their actions.

DSS1335:
A minor according to our constitution is any child below the age of 18.. Sleeping with such a child despite her consent is called statutory rape.. He risks 14 years imprisonment.. That young girl must not suffer alone. So i don't care whatever method i deploy to ensure that they take responsibilities

DSS1335:
I am writing this with a sorrowful heart!
This is quite a lengthy piece!!


In 2018, My wife brought a live-in maid toward the end of her gestational period as we eagerly anticipate the birth of our first fruit after 8 years of marriage.

We took the young girl as part of our family, she was just 13 years old in JSS2 at the time she joined us. She does minor household chores, like washing the dishes, keeping the house in and out clean, that's all. I made sure
her education was not interrupted, she continued her schooling from Js3 till she completed her SSCE this year. Outsiders thought she was my first child considering the way she was being taken good care of.

At 16 years age, the evidence of proper nutrition was so glaring in her physique, the young girl of yesterday was already a beautiful damsel. I protected her from ravenous men old enough to be her father. Even from her classmates. Perhaps the mistake i made was in buying her phone before WAEC exam started. Well, the need for constant communication can not be overemphasized because i and my wife go out for work in the morning. My wife comes back in the day while i return back in the evening. Living her our 2 kids in her care: My first Child is 3 years plus in Nursery, the second is about 2 years in Prenursery.

When her mother made a stop by to visit her daughter 5 months ago after 4 years, she was so full of praise and thanking us for taking good care of her daughter, and begged us to allow her stay longer with us rather than her returning back to the village after completing her WAEC. I and my wife plan that i will take up the responsibility to train her up in University so she can be light to her family. Her elder siblings didn't complete their secondary school!

Today, all those dreams and aspirations have been shattered! The innocent girl child i took as a daughter is 5 months pregnant without even knowing she was pregnant! How possible? I could have swear with my life that she was still a virgin and innocent. Damm it! Where do I start from eh??

Well, my wife was rattled up by a what she called a terrible nightmare, she dreamt that she saw her girl carrying a new born baby. That was around 3 A.M she woke her up from sleep and asked her if she was pregnant, the girl denied it ignorantly. My wife had no reason to suspect her as she always buy her pads for her monthly menses except for this month. Then examined her and her suspicion became heightened as she saw a remarkable changes, her bra can't fit any longer, her bellybutton was out with black line running down! She ordered her to pee and run her test kit, it came back positive! My wife broke down in tears.

That morning, we didn't go to work for the day. we grilled her with questions. She confessed to us that she had intercourse only once in the month MAY yet she was still seeing her monthly menses. That she had a boy friend whom they secretly communicate on phone every day. That she lost her virginity to the boy. And they did it only ones in less than 30 minutes as she came back to check the kids who were still sleeping in the afternoon.

The boy came to visit her grand mother who return from the USA, she refused traveling to the East due to insecurities and rented a flat opposite my compound for just 3 months from March to June. During her stay, all her children and grandchildren came to visit her. It was one of her grand son that lured my maid and took advantage of her innocences.

We contacted the boy on phone and told him what happened, he denied it that it is impossible for him to be held responsible that he had sex with her only once and that's not enough to get a girl pregnant! I swear,i could have dealt with him fatally if he were within my reach. Well, i was able to comport myself and explain to him in details after which he kept quiet. He is just 20 years old awaiting admission. We have informed the girl's mother too who became shock and cold! And asked her daughter to return back to the village!

Considering this scenario, i came up with the plan to make that boy and family take up the responsibility of the pregnancy, she can't remain with my family anymore so as not draw unnecessary attention. I will track down the boy and his family and file a statutory rape charge against them if all avenue to resolve this case peacefully fail. From Pregnancy to child care is no joke. My people that is no joke at all. I feel very bad and compassionate for the innocent young girl who will be forced to sacrifice her future to be in the family way.

Any honest advise on how best to tackle this issue at hand would be appreciated