₦airaland Forum

Shugargal:
I respect you ma for this inspiring advice. Its this kinda thing that made me question the integrity of The so called Apostle Suleiman, I guess you know where I'm going to?

At the OP please continue with your good work, may God bless your hear. Please finish up what you started by training the girl in high education after she must have put to bed.

Hi thanks for the compliment. I don’t understand the whole Suleiman thing, am Kenyan. All I know about the guy is that he’s been accused by multiple women, don’t know much about him other than that and the recent attack.

OkoRemi2023:
Nice advise



Op please reconsider your decision, I can't help to agree with this dude because we have many irresponsible single mom in Nigeria lately


May God help you

Thanks

Huracan:
The best comment I have ever seen ..bro pregnancy isn't a death sentence. That girl might get a bright future ahead..go train em'!!!!

You are so kind. Thanks

lebron7:
Perfect way to handle this
Cc DSS1335

Thank you

lanre9ja:
I love this advice, please u can still go ahead and assist their family by sponsoring her education after given birth to the innocent baby, it a lesson on her part, likewise the boy has to take responsibility for his actions.... God bless u and ur family

Thanks

First of all i must commend you and your wife for taking good care of that girl trust me it is very rare your good intension towards her is plausible as well.

So unfortunate,it has happened you just have pressure that boy he has to take responsibility of the pregnancy even if he likes it or not.

Shadysen:
haba, he didnt killed anybody, life imprisonment? who will now take care of the baby? calm down bro.

Rape is rape
He didn't have to kill her to make it rape
She is a minor
He needs to be in jail for life

deflover:
Rape is rape
He didn't have to kill her to make it rape
She is a minor
He needs to be in jail for life

your judgement is too harsh, happy sunday.

My advice is that you should not send the girl away. Just accept her and the baby and let her remain as a maid, take care of any expenses and help them. You will always be rewarded in the future for any child you take care of.

Richy4:
Have you visited Google yet to find out the cost of DNA test in Nigeria?..It doesn't come cheap...
Are u sure a 20yr old who is most likely a university student can afford that?

He better afford it if he knows what is good for is life.

This gorls are something else they keep multiple sex partners and pin pregnancy on any of their choice.

I almost feel victim of the scam b4

lebron7:
Perfect way to handle this
Cc DSS1335

Noted.
Thanks

benqo01:
First of all i must commend you and your wife for taking good care of that girl trust me it is very rare your good intension towards her is plausible as well.

So unfortunate,it has happened you just have pressure that boy he has to take responsibility of the pregnancy even if he likes it or not.

Thank you

DSS1335:
Thank you for your honest advise.

We have been able to trace through the help of the estate caretaker and contacted her aunty who was their grandmother's point of contact in PH through out their 3 months stay. She has accepted to help us mediate in the case, she will inform her Mother (the boy's grandma) and her sister(the boy's mother) about all that transpired. That the boy lives with his parents in Obigbo before ABA. If all efforts to resolve this case peacefully fails, i will file for statutory rape charge.



This doesn't make any sense!
What will she gain for withholding such a very sensitive information from us?

When she was in SS1, i was forced to change her school after 3rd term, she confided in my wife that one of her male teacher was giving her undue attention to the point of inviting her to his house coupled with the fact that senior boys in her school were also disturbing her.

This girl doesn't lack anything, whatever she needs or payment that comes, we clear it.
We live comfortably in my 3 bedroom flat. She has her own room, i don't allow her to watch any kind of indecent movie or music by ensuring that such channels are under lock filtering out only cartoon, starlife, zeeworld, and other children friendly channels. my wife has her room but we sleep together with our 2 kids.

Sometimes in June, my wife went through her phone call history, she receives call only from the guy constantly and other female friends whom we assumed were her classmates. we inquired what association she has with this boy that calls her all time even at odd hours of the night. we knew something wasnt ok as WhatsApp chat and sms were deleted. She wasn't allowed to use Facebook as we tried our best to keep her under close watch. On weekends, in our presence, she isn't allowed to use phone as my wife always hold it.
What else could we have done. Our best wasn't enough i guess! And yes, my wife taught her sex education, i guess she was just too stupid, gullible, naive to fall for whatever the boy said. This a big lesson to all parents. We have learnt ours in a very hard way

Bro forget that thing just as you suspected the girl was innocent and a virgin.

She must have also sampled different guys and u won't suspect a DNA test is a must

DSS1335:
Thank you for your honest advise.

We have been able to trace through the help of the estate caretaker and contacted her aunty who was their grandmother's point of contact in PH through out their 3 months stay. She has accepted to help us mediate in the case, she will inform her Mother (the boy's grandma) and her sister(the boy's mother) about all that transpired. That the boy lives with his parents in Obigbo before ABA. If all efforts to resolve this case peacefully fails, i will file for statutory rape charge.



This doesn't make any sense!
What will she gain for withholding such a very sensitive information from us?

When she was in SS1, i was forced to change her school after 3rd term, she confided in my wife that one of her male teacher was giving her undue attention to the point of inviting her to his house coupled with the fact that senior boys in her school were also disturbing her.

This girl doesn't lack anything, whatever she needs or payment that comes, we clear it.
We live comfortably in my 3 bedroom flat. She has her own room, i don't allow her to watch any kind of indecent movie or music by ensuring that such channels are under lock filtering out only cartoon, starlife, zeeworld, and other children friendly channels. my wife has her room but we sleep together with our 2 kids.

Sometimes in June, my wife went through her phone call history, she receives call only from the guy constantly and other female friends whom we assumed were her classmates. we inquired what association she has with this boy that calls her all time even at odd hours of the night. we knew something wasnt ok as WhatsApp chat and sms were deleted. She wasn't allowed to use Facebook as we tried our best to keep her under close watch. On weekends, in our presence, she isn't allowed to use phone as my wife always hold it.
What else could we have done. Our best wasn't enough i guess! And yes, my wife taught her sex education, i guess she was just too stupid, gullible, naive to fall for whatever the boy said. This a big lesson to all parents. We have learnt ours in a very hard way

You keep calling her naive like she is 12. You mean a 16yr old did not know what she was doing.

The guy is right to think she may have other sexual partners.

SURElee:
Biko, Dont let her sacrifice her future because of this pregnancy. There are kids who have babies as teenager and still continue with their education. Please continue to sponsor her, she can leave the baby with the mother and continue with the education. Other kids have waxed stronger after teenage pregnancy.

That boy will further his education, so why should she pay for her teenage sexual act by sacrificing her future.

Please sponsor her and let her be the light on her family, I beg of you and your wife.

May God guide you aright. Please I beg of you.

Thank you Sir

Thanks.

She will go back to the village and put to birth, thereafter return back to the city after weaning the child. Whatever arrangements to be made must involves that boy's family too.

Next year UTME, she will register and write it in the village.

Pregnancy isn't the end, you can still remove the pregnancy, she shouldn't suffer for the rest of her life because of one small mistake. if it were my child, I will remove the pregnancy and still send her to school, at least e never each 6months. Abeg no body should preach for me oh

I sha know say if they make me even a governor, I will legalize abortion, women should have right to decide to keep pregnancy, not forced. Raising a child is more than just getting pregnant.

Joybeau:
First off, it is not uncommon that a- 16 year old young girl should indulge in sex without knowing the repercussion of such indulgence. The blame still fall on the parent or caregiver for failing to protect her on the status of her being a minor. She is still under your care and custody and you failed her. That's why I blame our culture that stiffs reception to Sexuality education. Most African homes shy away or vilify sexuality education, but we must embrace it. I mean home based sexuality education, I said Sexuality education and not sex education because Sexuality education encompasses sex education, knowledge of one's body, sex orientation and behaviour. Sexuality education is taught age-wisely to children right after birth till adulthood. Children are the vulnerable population owing to the fact that their cognitive ability is not fully developed. So, you as the caregiver must live up to the task of protecting them not just physically but also emotionally. Else they will be preyed upon. " Giving information is not giving permission" . At her age she's supposed to have learnt about her body( I mean womanhood) and the consequences of engaging in risky behaviour.
You can mail me at gilbertjoy63@gmail.com or send me a pm here for more information on what parents should know to enable them carry out effective sexuality education
You can also get daily or weekly tip on sexuality education as well as buying a resource book authored by myself

Big lesson already learnt!

Thanks for your honest input

micflo28:
You mentioned that the boys grandmother just arrived from the US. Its means that the family is well to do. See how they can be of help to help the girl through this stage of pregnancy and cater for the child after its born. You should have taught the girl as much as your kids the implications of sex and its consequences. Brave it into her once you see male kids in the neighbourhood. She is in experimental stage and the boy is in his "Take advantage of her" stage. They both failed to get guided.

Thanks

iamme1234:
My brother in the lord
You have tried your best to
RIse the girl child from dust to the brim.
In Wasiu Ayinde’s song
He says rora se rora shey ooooo
Anybody to bafe se ore..
My brother with humility of mind
Let that girl go and visit his family
You have done the best
Don’t take her in anymore
because this might affect your future and the future of your kids.
I have done help to a peak in this life that I later Blamed my self woefully.
Listen let that girl go and always support her with anything you can while she is with her parent.
Remember this girl might grow up a bit and developed too much likeness in you hence put your wife’s life in jeopardy..
I won’t say more than this
This life has taught me lesson that I can’t regain back.
Brother this is where God want you to assist the girl child till.
If you proceed
You will remember I told you this tales
Shalom..

The limit is there already as she addresses me as Daddy, my wife as mommy.

I will do the best in my capacity to support her tertiary education. However, the boy that is responsible for this must also take the responsibility of his actions

I guess you didn't read the write up.
Here is the scan result.
Compare it to the write up

xeratek:
Another fake story by patlex AKA Patrick Enyum and group

Ecne:
Do these: FIRST AVOID ABORTION.

1. Track the boy and inform his family.
You'll be surprised what support they too can render, especially the potential 'Great-Grand-Ma'...

2. If they refuse, file for 'Statutory Rape' as the girl is still underaged according to our laws. The young man is above 18 and could do time.

3. Support her relocation to her Mom who happens to be the BEST person to guide her with love through this period. You and Wifey can send assistance from time to time.

4. Both you and Wifey should continue to provide 'Parental care' for the child, if you can, even if the family of the boy is non-responsive.

5. Try to see her return to school and live her dream, she has learnt her lesson and will apply the learnings going forward.

6. When she and the boy come of age and wishes to marry her, be the Father that you've always been to her and guide her accordingly.

7. You have the right to be utterly disappointed, but please don't stop showing her love.

Bless you Bro.

Exactly what we are going to do.

Thanks for your corroboration!

Thanks for stating she's still going through adolescent phase of maturity, at such stage most girls get confused and mistakes are bound to happen. Temper justice with mercy.

quote author=DSS1335 post=117962699]

A minor according to our constitution is any child below the statutory age of 18. They are still going through the adolescent phase of maturity. They are incapable of making rational decisions. Sleeping with such a child despite her consent is called a statutory rape within the context of our legal frame work. He risks 14 years imprisonment. That is the only hope i have now to hold the boy and his family on their jugular. That young girl must not suffer alone. So i don't care whatever method i deploy to ensure that they take responsibilities[/quote]

Why will you even have a 16 year old girl as maid? Isn't that CHILD ABUSE?

That is why it is important to provide spiritual training & instruction. In this case that sex before marriage is wrong and a sin against God. This is the greatest deterent against wrongdoing.

But I guess you likely associate with those churches where the sermons are mainly about prosperity, tithings and miracles that amount to mere deception

okoroemeka:
for me I think the idea that the op has that she has sacrificed her future to be in a family way is actually false,I have seen many instances were the girl bounced back better than before,also the opinion of lack of close supervisor is also a naive idea,a matured growing girl is no longer supposed to live in another man's house as house help except in her own mother's house,because growth brings about a rapid spike in hormones that make these girls almost uncontrollable like a dog in heat,I have seen countless examples of such,if they don't get pregnant they will run away at a slight provocation,Bleep the men in the house,Bleep negihbours and co,infact any wise woman cannot keep a girl that is above 16 yrs in her house,good husband or not I don't care,a pair of standing puffy breasts greeting you brother good morning is not a way to test the ridgidity of a man's self control.

All men are different, especially for men with strong moral background.

I totally understood what you are saying.

A relative of mine made a similar gesture about the sexuality of the girl last year, that he would like to marry the girl as a second wife. That statement alone put an end to whatever blood relationship we shared! Yes! The girl was just like a daughter to me and had always been. I won't accept it if any person no matter how close knit we share tries to take advantage of such nativity

fokudas:
I know how painful it is to have a child under your roof get pregnant without you knowing. Few things I will like to point out here:
1. The girl comes from a family that none of her siblings was able to finish secondary school.
2. The monther was happy that at least a light is about to shine in the family reason why when she came to see her, she pleaded you allow her stay longer with you people
3. The same thing that didn't allow her other siblings finish school has to strike in another way, by getting her lured by the boy to ge into sex which now resulted to pregnancy.........still that siege of no one must be educated.
4. You and your wife are the Deborah and Joshua sent to help this family through the girl to end that siege ans set a new path for the family.
5. To make a good end out of this will not be easy but it is achievable if and only if you and your wife will see this as a divine assignment from God to deliberate a family.
6. Dont change your mind regarding training the girl to university.
7. Get her to the village and take all responsibility regarding the delivery of the baby then ensure that the girl gets back to school and see her through school
8. The new baby should not be neglected, always reach out and get across stuffs for her upkeep (Like I said, this isn't gonna be easy but if you and your wife see it as a service unto God, heaven will sustain you both and make this a great testimony)
9. Pray for God to give you and your wife grace to deliver this project as I know within the next 4yrs to 6yrs when you and your wife look back you will be grateful to God.
10. Draw the girl close and assure her of your commitment to her future but let her know the plan for her to go have the baby in the village after which her education will still be pursued. She must get this assurance so that she doesn't out of no hope end up into another wrong vampire .
God will help you and your wife and this will be a project you will deliver with faith in God and to the shame of the devil.

Thank you sir. Advise appreciated

Ologbo147:
you shouldn't have gotten her an android phone

There are only 2 reasons we bought her that phone

1) She borrows either my wife's phone or mine to do her assignment that involves researching outside text book.

2) our need for constant communication via WhatsApp video call to know how the kids are doing.

dontrulee:
Men can be decievers and some ladies can be quite easy to manipulate. A lady can hate a guy with passion and end up getting pregnant for that same guy. Life no balance.

i hear say hate sex sweet pass. D knack go be like say dem wan strangle the person with python style. Dem say na why it's called to "hate with passion"

Please, brethren and sisthren is it true?

dazzlingd:
Bros, u don give your maid belle, you come dey accuse the 20 year old boy

Chai! I am crying for you!! God have mercy and forgive you. I won't curse because out of the abundance of heart the mouth speaks. I spread love and not hate

Emaprince:
Wow...if she did this, then she isn't totally bad. She's more grown now and probably starting to have sexual needs and the attention starting to make sense to her. Its life and every one changes and adjusts as they get mature. I won't even crucify her cos many women here disvirgined at 12..13yrs. But its easy to condemn another person that sins. That boy is also Young but more experienced than her.

I will implore you to cool your anger. Even as you are sending that girl back home..you can still assist her with her education so she don't sink into depression. She made a mistake as an inexperienced girl. She don't need to be crucified, she need help.

Thank you for your honest opinion, appreciated

I am sorry for you. You must be among those who take advantage of vulnerable women. God have mercy on you.

Ikennaford:
Op de fuuuck that girl too, forget this Long epistle he wrote up there, sweet 16 cuntus deh sweet nah