₦airaland Forum

kbower:
Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty.

Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that it's not too much because am a responsible father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok.. After enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3 kids behind until she can secure accommodation b4 we leave.

I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didn't take enough money and going back home might not be possible, I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registration. I was like that's wrong, you don't form familiarity with someone you just met in another man's country, I said I will call a friend in liverpool to send you money and you could get your train ticket. She fumed, but I stood my ground and said that's how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, I was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didn't make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didn't u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to Luton, over an hour journey at night.

Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and she's using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she won't be having access to internet, etc WhatsApp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of GPS google map, that's what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself. I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that she's leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up.

Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didn't even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you don't need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this London nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating.

The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate.

I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly.

I have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

Sorry bro, this girl is fucking around. All the signs are as good as getting caught red handed.

You need to weigh your circumstance in Nigeria with the promise of the good life but unfaithful wife in the UK. This girl has been cheating on you even from right here in Nigeria. Not be today she start her game. I know her type gooooon

You may want to consider DNA tests for your 3 children

[quote author=OkoAmarashy post=117985660]

Will you keep shut. How many countries have you even been to that you're talking rubbish.

I have visited 5 European countries for now

David Ibieyomie that you are promoting, how many times has his wife mounted pulpit to preach beside him?
If you misuse your right, you suffer the consequences.

Wrong assumption, Sorry I don’t go to church that’s why I’m busy with NairaLand today

Go and find out how Naija girls abroad are literally begging guys over there to marry them but men are not even looking at their side.

those girls don’t know some men are better of as a sperm donor

Men and women have equal rights overseas, in cases of divorce, why don't they share assets equally?

I see

kbower:
Wow post made FP. I wasnt surprised though cos I poured my heart out. For some people saying Mr Mike is the same as the person looking into her phone, no I never said so, Mr Mike is the man she met in school the very first day she went for registration, the man lives in London, while my madam lives in luton, which is outside London, the guy in question she met between town but he also live in luton.

As for the guy asking which school shes in, shes in uel and not Bedfordshire.

Guys ever since I stopped making I miss u calls, just like I said, she has started bombarding me with calls which I take and we talk normal, but then she now thinks am doing shady things, saying to reach u these days is hard, where were u, have u gotten home and all that. This recent events now made he bring up the guys issue once again friday night. She said she really wants me to get the job so she would really want me to link up with the dude, this time I went beserk and warned her again but this time severely that I do not want to have anything to do with someone that you have allowed disrespect and downgraded me, I said if his connect wont work, then i will get another. Yesterday she called me and said well we dont need that yeye guy's connect again, that she checked online and saw agencies that could help secure that kind of job.Today now so I dey ask am why she nor dey prepare for church, she sey she no want trouble because of the guy, sey infact he fit be sey na because of her the guy go wan go the church that she would rather stay back and that she has even blocked him. Oh well I am leaving soon, whatever the case is, I cannot die, I will only excel, I know myself

Nice one...
Sometimes na overthinking they worry us...

AlphaTaikun:
Hi @caandi,

So what is the full list of the zodiac signs that predispose females to cheating?

You forgot to quote the OP in your post so I've copied him.

Expecting your feedback.

Cheers.

well it depends on the birth month of the individual I will share some documents so you see the sign your birth month falls, now I don’t believe in tarot reading, palm reading and all that but I find zodiac signs on the surface interesting, when you compare it to your xteristics or that of your family members or someone you know, you will be truly amazed at what you discover, you will see similarities

Sucre2003:
I live in the UK and I have seen many married women who left their husbands.
During my studies last year, I know of many married women that who dresses naked to school then and followed men. All you need to do is remain in Nigeria with your mental health safe or travel and face the troubles that will come out of it.
If she decides to leave you, no complain but she'll regret it after UK boys chop her finish.

Sunkan, back-office super

This right here is scary
She no even see ladies make friends with ,na man she Dey run things with ,my brother she and that guy don Dey communicate for naija before she traveled and why in the world did you allowed her to go first instead of you going

Ebubu:
omo kukuma dey for nigeria where u get better authority to stamp ur feet as a man.

abroad no send you and at a yielding point, ur wife go take advantage of that society cos seeing it as she is, she get strong head and “i can do it on my own head”.


stubbornness dey her blood

i’ve dated her type

kbower:
Bro the emboldened makes your statement right, and words on Marble, I have spent over 27 million naira on the japa process, and still have more to spend ahead. It is indeed a sacrifice, but bro, she nor even send or appreciate anything, but me nor send cos na the children be the koko. Infact the agent that arranged everything duped me of 3k pounds, I arrested him, going from the station to and fro, only for madam to be expressing sympathy towards the guy that he feels pity for him that hes arrested, but
what about me that spent the money and stressing out to arrest the guy and going to and fro? Am i not human, am I not to be the one in the position of being sympathetic towards?

Where una Dey waste money (27m) to look for greener pastures money that is up to set up a business the problem is most of you people moving out of nigeria don’t have a business here in nigeria or property to generate more income after una go take say naija na shithole

Okonandmary:
You will lose your wife soon.
Just a little freedom and she is misplacing her priorities.

Sometimes i winder why it is difficult for some women to play along as a team reaching a goal with their husbands

I will advice you not to worry yourself, the cure for this isn't to run yourself down with hypertension. Stop caring and acting like you cant live without her.

Be specific .. not some women, Nigerian women ..

vickydevoka:
Why una come de like that. That one no be life

we can’t help it, when something is inborne
It takes grace of God to overcome such behaviours

iykemoney90:
Oga allow your wife breathe mehn. Your own is too much, person wey Don born 3 for you, wetin else you dey look. You are just battling insecurity, nothing else

That's the truth,guy is obsessed with his wife, small boy. After 3 kids if you still worried about your wife's movements then your really not someone with big goals in mind. And he now sent her to UK instead of himself, I doubt this ehas friends he talks to, this type only friend is their wife. The woman must be knacked by other man there's nothing he can do about it.

People should consider the fact that Nigeria is on the brink of total collapse, he go remain small if civil war nor go happen. Now talk of insecurity, helthcare, education, all is gone, shey as i get funds to move my children comot for here nor be better thing? I will rather be in that country where more power is given to women than sey i come dey nija wey everything don scatter, how much sef be 27 million with this whack economy? The money cannot yield any meaningful value hence part of my reason japaing.

kbower:
Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty.

Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that it's not too much because am a responsible father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok.. After enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3 kids behind until she can secure accommodation b4 we leave.

I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didn't take enough money and going back home might not be possible, I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registration. I was like that's wrong, you don't form familiarity with someone you just met in another man's country, I said I will call a friend in liverpool to send you money and you could get your train ticket. She fumed, but I stood my ground and said that's how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, I was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didn't make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didn't u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to Luton, over an hour journey at night.

Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and she's using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she won't be having access to internet, etc WhatsApp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of GPS google map, that's what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself. I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that she's leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up.

Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didn't even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you don't need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this London nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating.

The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate.

I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly.

I have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

Brother. My advise for you is to be ready for anything. London na one bad place wen dey suport divorce well well. Once una blend inside the system your wife true colour will show. Asper adding him to your call without ur consent, that's absolutely disrespectful. U need to talk to your wife more. If she truly values ur marriage she will listen and change. London no be joke o. The painful part is that if she thinks it's a bed of roses out there then she make mistake. The guys there looking out of married women and single ladies are so much. The only work they have na to go gym and gather 6packs to entice women. Anyway to avoid a total heart break my advice is that you should be ready for the worst (If that doesnt happen then to God be the glory) Note that I'm talking out of experience. Your happiness should be paramount. If u carry woman for head be ready for 6 feet.

Okonandmary:
You will lose your wife soon.
Just a little freedom and she is misplacing her priorities.

Sometimes i winder why it is difficult for some women to play along as a team reaching a goal with their husbands

I will advice you not to worry yourself, the cure for this isn't to run yourself down with hypertension. Stop caring and acting like you cant live without her.

You mean act like you CAN live without her.

Carcholce:
.
.
.
OP, sorry in advance. Not saying she’s going to cheat on you but she’ll so pepper you that you’ll be forced to become a SIMPle gentleman.


I can imagine how you’ll feel when She tells you her new man friend or Mr Mike is coming to help her set up the new TV and then her phone becomes unreachable till the next day because her phone died and Nepa took light in the UK.


PS. Please we need to see picture of her assx for complete data assessment.

Guy u r sounding like MR. MIKE

kbower:
Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty.

Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that it's not too much because am a responsible father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok.. After enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3 kids behind until she can secure accommodation b4 we leave.

I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didn't take enough money and going back home might not be possible, I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registration. I was like that's wrong, you don't form familiarity with someone you just met in another man's country, I said I will call a friend in liverpool to send you money and you could get your train ticket. She fumed, but I stood my ground and said that's how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, I was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didn't make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didn't u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to Luton, over an hour journey at night.

Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and she's using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she won't be having access to internet, etc WhatsApp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of GPS google map, that's what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself. I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that she's leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up.

Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didn't even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you don't need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this London nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating.

The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate.

I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly.

I have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

but e no fit get house to stay with all his connections...you and your wife don dey cease....

7arrows:
Guy u r sounding like MR. MIKE

Comrade off the Mic please. Don’t loud it

yungz:
@kbower


with emphasis on loyalty, why did you send her out?
i don’t know where women adopt this behavior of disrespecting their spouse once they leave nigeria?

your wife disrespect’s you in nigeria and you still have the mind to relocate her to a country that gives women the veto power to useless their spouse.

sentiment asides, a form of transaction in exchange for exposure or connects would probably hold someday between your spouse and y/friend in liverpool or mr mike.

ps: if your kids are minor please leave them in nigeria.

Their True colour shows.

kbower:
I cant stay here, we have sold almost everything, visa is running, accommodation already secured. But I know sey God dey sha.

Just be calm and start taking care job courses immediately you get there, go for training so you can get sponsorship within 4months.
Then change your visa from dependent to tier 4, without her knowledge.

kbower:
I cant stay here, we have sold almost everything, visa is running, accommodation already secured. But I know sey God dey sha.

put your mind down and calculate. you'll sort yourself out when you get there

I agree with this counsel. She's so not a team player; demonstrates disloyality and unfaithfulness.

Okonandmary:
You will lose your wife soon.
Just a little freedom and she is misplacing her priorities.

Sometimes i winder why it is difficult for some women to play along as a team reaching a goal with their husbands

I will advice you not to worry yourself, the cure for this isn't to run yourself down with hypertension. Stop caring and acting like you cant live without her.

kbower:
People should consider the fact that Nigeria is on the brink of total collapse, he go remain small if civil war nor go happen. Now talk of insecurity, helthcare, education, all is gone, shey as i get funds to move my children comot for here nor be better thing? I will rather be in that country where more power is given to women than sey i come dey nija wey everything don scatter, how much sef be 27 million with this whack economy? The money cannot yield any meaningful value hence part of my reason japaing.

read your story, but I reserve my comment. As per the bolded, speak for yourself o bross..na you think so o. Na for you 27 million fit amount to nothing. I have tripled money with investments far far far less...but I also recognise the fact that not everyone has the fine ability to do that, even with excess supply/availability of cash.

LyfeJennings:
Pele o
Baba Londoner

Ask the google
Alaye, I never go there but got a woman and half of my family there so I know what I say
iGoing by all this nigga wrote
Dem don shook am.
Who calls his spouse 15times

Am 100% sure no be small shook egbon walai talai

kbower:
People should consider the fact that Nigeria is on the brink of total collapse, he go remain small if civil war nor go happen. Now talk of insecurity, helthcare, education, all is gone, shey as i get funds to move my children comot for here nor be better thing? I will rather be in that country where more power is given to women than sey i come dey nija wey everything don scatter, how much sef be 27 million with this whack economy? The money cannot yield any meaningful value hence part of my reason japaing.

You are a coward and someone incapable of taking sensible decisions.
If you aren't careful,
You will spend your entire resources on your wife.
You will lose your wife.
If you take those kids there, you will lose custody of those kids.
On top of that, Civil War won't now happen.

By the time she is done with you, you will be back in Lagos, carrying plastic plate to go and buy beans in the morning.

The idea to go to the UK, who did it come from. You or her?
Can you now see that you've been played?

Bro pls just give her every necessary support to settle down. Things are very difficult majorly because you don't have enough needed money for this project. Secondly UK style of education system causes serious mental stress/ health issue for most Nigerians at the beginning. Thirdly relocating and adjusting to a strange land is not easy where their law really work well that you are always careful not to break it because it will enter your record and hunt you for 5years. Other factors are there but you will realize all these and appreciate her when you crossover.

As per suspecting another man chasing your wife, I can't really comment much because a lot of married women staying alone here are really lonely and sometimes secretly looking for men to satisfy them. It all depends on the kind of woman you marry. If she has that attitude even in your house in Nigeria, she will do it.

But know that when you crossover you will still have to maintain your " mind your business" here because once she is here, that gender equality will really dominate her. Know that you being the dependant partner, you don't have work restrictions and can work 247 if you have the capacity.

I was perfectly in your shoe in everything you described from years of marriage, to number of children to she being the main applicant to me and the children joining her after 3months....infact I thought someone narated my experience.

I wish we can have a call conversation.

Annie001:
Just be calm and start taking care job courses immediately you get there, go for training so you can get sponsorship within 4months.
Then change your visa from dependent to tier 4, without her knowledge.

Tier 2 main applicant will tie him to restricticted hours of work (mostly 40hrs+20hrs with another similar job). Best he switch to Tier2 as dependent partner which will have no restrictions.

kbower:
People should consider the fact that Nigeria is on the brink of total collapse, he go remain small if civil war nor go happen. Now talk of insecurity, helthcare, education, all is gone, shey as i get funds to move my children comot for here nor be better thing? I will rather be in that country where more power is given to women than sey i come dey nija wey everything don scatter, how much sef be 27 million with this whack economy? The money cannot yield any meaningful value hence part of my reason japaing.

Calm down, no the over hyper .
27 million Naira is alot of money here or you think making 27 million Pounds there is also easy couple with the standard of living , when 27 million is properly utilized. it will rank you in hundreds of millions. No need to brag about it, but 9ja have it all. Essence of life is getting enough cash to tour the world and coming back to base where you live like a king. You talked about japing because of your kids , it is a nice thing to get them schooled properly studying prestigious courses like law and coming back to engage in competitive politics.
What gave you that 27million here will give you more here , overseas a most of them broke like mad,I have zero envy for those japaing . Sending your kids one after the other in acquiring a degree might cost you appx 10million yearly, with this you will save yourself alot of uncertainty. Forget 9ja get money bro

Michdear:
once the lady is done with school,and was able to secure job

his wife seems so unpredictable at least from his story hence the reason i suggested leaving the kids in nigeria. that woman could have his a*s kicked out any moment she feels like. this is just a precaution so he won’t lose everything including his kids in just a glance.

i don’t pray for such to happen but then we have to face reality, my uncle suffered same faith, he had to retun to nigeria to remarry but this time he was wise enough to leave his spouse here.

timojerry:
Lol there's nothing my wife has not told me becaue I am her dependent. I'll call police for you, ill report you, ill eveict you from the house. House wey I dey pay for o. So brother, this my message is not yo scare you but to let you know that if your tolerance level was 100% on Nigeria, when you are here uou would have to increase it to 1000%. You'll have to that patience that even the fool will think you're are fool. UK is good. You'll work and be able to do things. Gas and electricity is very expensive. My hill just came for the year. £1444 for gas and £1204 for electricity. Rent and other bills like Internet and water still dey there. You'll have to rent a flat because you can't stay in a room with your kids. It's well. I'll advice you learn to ignore. Me coming yo naira land at this time of the night is becaiee the house has just been on fire with only one person shouting and the other party which is me being quiet. I have been threatened by her that by day break sh go call police for me make I commot for the house. I'm waiting for the day to break.

Lastly in all that you do when uou decide to eventually come here, do not and I repeat no matter what she does, say, or do, do not touch her. Just don't say a word. If she like make she hit you, do not touch her.

Blessings.

How did this happen so fast?

I went through your profile, just last year here, you were making all kinds of enquiries about UK visa/school stuff

What went wrong?

I you were to do it all over again, will you still choose to relocate

kbower:
People should consider the fact that Nigeria is on the brink of total collapse, he go remain small if civil war nor go happen. Now talk of insecurity, helthcare, education, all is gone, shey as i get funds to move my children comot for here nor be better thing? I will rather be in that country where more power is given to women than sey i come dey nija wey everything don scatter, how much sef be 27 million with this whack economy? The money cannot yield any meaningful value hence part of my reason japaing.

I thought you are reasonable until you post this trash; your wife deceived you with civil war will happen, Nigeria don scatter, bla bla bla and you sold all your property to move to UK
You never enter UK you don dey cry, Your wife isn’t the only problem awaits you. UK has it own challenges. You go soon google how to stop carrying

Congrats. Just remember to keep me posted when it happens. I will always be on Nairaland.

Did she stand by you by marrying you? she stood by you by helping you financially. So help her financially if you are ok now.

I don't understand why guys think the way to reward a woman who helped them financially when things were rough is to marry them.

I hope you guys succeed. But statistics is not on your side.

Mummyimbecile:
bro, this is a girl that stood by me when I was hustling in Nigeria, I can't just leave her. She has all the qualities I need in a woman.

kbower:
Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty.

Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that it's not too much because am a responsible father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok.. After enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3 kids behind until she can secure accommodation b4 we leave.

I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didn't take enough money and going back home might not be possible, I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registration. I was like that's wrong, you don't form familiarity with someone you just met in another man's country, I said I will call a friend in liverpool to send you money and you could get your train ticket. She fumed, but I stood my ground and said that's how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, I was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didn't make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didn't u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to Luton, over an hour journey at night.

Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and she's using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she won't be having access to internet, etc WhatsApp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of GPS google map, that's what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself. I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that she's leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up.

Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didn't even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you don't need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this London nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating.

The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate.

I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly.

I have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

How some dude be comfortable to date married women still dey baffled me till date?l can't just comprehend.I have a beautiful wife too so I don't want anybody to go after her, likewise me too I don't want to go after someone wife too,bcuz of karma.
I would rather date a widow,divorcee, baby mama, single ladies than to dates someone wife it's a no go area for me.