Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,194,672 members, 7,955,467 topics. Date: Sunday, 22 September 2024 at 06:46 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me (2652 Views)
I Am Not Happy With My Wife Please Help / I'm Not Happy With My Mom's Behaviour Towards My Adopted Sister / I'm Having Serious Issues With My Step Dad Please Advice Me. (2) (3) (4)
I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by Chinelo154(f): 2:28pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Good afternoon to everyone my mum is really suffering in her marriage and I really need your advice , I am the first child in a family of 5 children I was born in 1998, my mum is a midwife in a local hospital and my dad is not working for like 10 years. My mum is the breadwinner of the house with her little salary , and I am also working my salary is 12k , out of my younger ones only one is in school the last born 14 years the burden is too much on my mum she cannot afford to train all of us to the university , we thank God we are ssce holders one of my brother is a bricklayer we are stuggling to survive sometime i cried alot when i see my mum stressing herself to put the house in order but my dad doesn't appreciate all her effort . The issue of ground is last wk Friday i returned from work only to find my uncle , his wife and their 5 children in the house , they came from the village i was shocked because we were not aware of their coming , I greeted them and went straight to my mum room, she was in a very bad mood , I asked her if she was fine she didn't say any single words to me, she was badly affected with the coming of my uncle and his family, I felt her pain because she is struggling to keep the family up and in the order side my dad is bending it how asked myself how are we going to survive in a 2 bedroom house with 14 0f us plus feeding and everythng will be in my mum head , my dad has instructed me and my 2 sisters to leave our room for my uncle and his 2 daughters , while we moved to their bedroom and my 2 brothers and my uncle 3 children will sleep in the parlour. How can a big woman like me to be sleeping in my parents room, I did not complain we went to the room we packed our belonging and moved it to my parents room. That night I didn't catch sleep seeing my mum loosing sleep she didn't say anything but she was awake all night , she was trouble a lot was going through her mind , in the morning I heard my uncle wife and mum having a discussion she told her , if she knew the condition we were living was this bad she wouldn't have come , she said my dad has told them to come because things are fine with us and she was disappointed with what she saw , so my mum asked her so my husband was the one that convinced you to moved in the city she said yes , my mum shook her head she didn't say anything else and I become very angry I confronted my dad asking him why did he do this to my mum when he knows the condition is not good, why did he tells his brother to come not just him alone but with his family, he started shouting at me I am not a wife material if I bring this my character of not liking my inlaw to my husband house he will send me packing and he will not allow me back to his house , I have told him he is very wicked he want mum to die so he can bring him another woman , he stood out he went inside the house he started shouting at my mum how dare she ask me to confront him and what's wrong with him bringing his brother to his house, my mum did not send me she is a quiet type and I am not i co fronted him by my own will , he said my mum is wicked woman he was shouting in the presence of my uncle and my uncle has started insulted me too , telling me the house belong to his brother if I am not happy seeing them in the house I should go and rent my own house because he is not leaving anytime soon , if I had somewhere else to go I would have left the same day but I had nowhere to go, I went inside my room crying and later on my aunty was telling me to not mind my uncle , she don't blame me for standing up for my mum because as a woman she is she will not tolerate it she told me she don't know if my dad and her brother are curse they are just lazy and they have left all the responsibility to the wives , she said she can't tell me everything she is also passing through the same thing with my mum , I thanked her for her understanding and for not supporting her husband and my dad. It is been few days now I don't greet nor talk to my dad and uncle , I go to work as usual and when I come home I sleep in the parlour with the boys me on the sofa them on the floor , I am not happy with my dad and I don't think I will ever be happy with him again , did I overreacted for confronting or I did the right thing I am just asking for your advise so i will know the right thing to do after please do not insult me I am wearing the shoe I know where it pinch 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by mariahAngel(f): 2:37pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
If I were your mum, I'd leave everything and everyone behind, and relocate to the village for my sanity and peace of mind. 7 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by PlayMaker14: 3:05pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Your dad is an irresponsible fellow and I will advise you tell your mom and your siblings to move out of that house till your dad regains his senses. If your mom continue like this in that house, she will develop high blood pressure and die before Christmas. 7 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by Mindlog: 3:36pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
mariahAngel: Memories ..... My mum got her cousin who was the breadwinner of her family way back then, to leave Lagos to go back to her maternal village, leaving behind her 5 children and some of her husband's relatives with her lazy husband in Lagos. The husband was claiming to be a contractor but one naira, he was not bringing home while the wife worked herself to death, every time she was always looking for where to borrow money from to replenish her capital as she was selling second hand clothing. What broke the carmel's back was when she fainted where she was selling at Aswani market, the husband was called but he didn't show up and his excuse was he didn't have money to transport himself from Ikorodu where they lived, to Aswani. It was after she was discharged, that my mum made sure she moved to the village to fully recuperate and that caused an uproar as the man came severally to our house to confront my mum for brainwashing his wife, werey was then facing the reality of paying rent and providing for their children and his relatives who lived with them....my mom was always prepared for him. Their Parish Priest had to be involved, who through his influence got him a job in a bakery, his relatives had to move out of the house and the Priest made him to be paying the house rent and part of the feeding expenses while the wife support from her end. 8 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by mariahAngel(f): 3:50pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Mindlog: I swear, one of my distant relative died from a similar situation. She would overwork herself (she was a nurse), to provide for the family. She was the breadwinner. She would often open up to my mum that her husband wasn't willing to do anything to support her. Always looking exhausted. Her death happened all of a sudden. Very painful. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by oceanized25(m): 3:53pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
You didn't over react my dear,this idea of keeping quiet when things go wrong because of one useless respect is the reason why things have continued to go wrong,and remember being an adult or older have never equalled being wiser,as your uncle and Dad's case in point shows...see how your uncle's wife is complaining too. My heart goes out to your mum,and I feel Happy that she can find solace in the fact that even in her silence,her daughter could feel her pain,she doesn't have to tell you things for you to understand how messed up they are and even when she is so fed up and tired of fighting,you are picking up the baton and fighting for her...keep fighting,and being the fine elder sister n mother's daughter that you are shaping up to be. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by Munzy14(m): 3:56pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
mariahAngel:Painful. A partner that isn't willing to do anything to help foot the bills, is just being Wicked..whether male or female. Most men who married hard working wives becomes lazy by default. No food for a lazy man. |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by mariahAngel(f): 4:03pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Munzy14: Very very painful. Back then, she was always looking tired/sleepy. Even in the way she talked. Up till now, her children are yet to get over her death. |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by tensazangetsu20(m): 4:06pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
How do women date and marry such men. Aren't the signs obvious during dating that the man will be a useless deadbeat. Can it be hidden or what? 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by pretydiva(f): 4:09pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
You, your mom and your siblings should relocate to the village if possible. Then leave your dad with his uncle and family to sort themselves out. Lets see if they won't fend for themselves Most men these days are becoming lazy and leaving the responsibility of catering for the family solely on their wives 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by Munzy14(m): 4:12pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
mariahAngel:And they will never forgive their Dad for letting the wife work till death Partners makes life easier when they act, work and live like a team..It extends the life for eachother. |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by Chinelo154(f): 5:33pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
mariahAngel: Moving back to the village is not possible , I wish she could leave with my 3 younger ones to rent herself a room in a face me I slap you house so she can have peace of mind, me and my brother will survive fine with my salary but if I suggest that she will not listen to me she will rather stay and suffer |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by Chinelo154(f): 5:35pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
PlayMaker14: She has high BP already but she will not move she rather stay and suffer |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by Nobody: 6:10pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
So many useless lazy husbands these days, useless to themselves, family, and society, later these sets of fools will say their wives poison the kids against them ignoring the fact that these kids see and know everything going on. There is one stupid man in my area doing same thing, sitting down at home not doing anything, yet still arrogant and evil to his wife the bread winner, The Bible that called them INFIDEL used the exact word fit for them, nonsense. 5 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by Helpout12345: 6:12pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Those are irresponsible men right there. It's never late for your uncle and his family to leave. Tell your mother to stop feeding them, stop paying house rent. Everyone will find their ways soon after that. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by PlayMaker14: 6:12pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Chinelo154:Hmmmm, na wa oh. |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by PlayMaker14: 6:25pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Jovialjune1:Seems you've been hurt terribly. |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by Mindlog: 6:53pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Chinelo154: With your mum's present health status and the pressures around her, her life is gradually ebbing and to be straightforward with you, there is a likelihood of her slumping and not making it. 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by Chinelo154(f): 7:24pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Mindlog: True can you just imagine i got home from work, my mum is already asleep and my sister took me outside the house , she was telling me that my dad had insulted her for feeding them indomie 3 days in a row ,and he was shouting at her if tommorow is indomie again she will not like the outcome , he doesn't even care for the fact that she is trying her best to feed 13 mouths where does he expect her to get the money to feed 13 mouths in this economy , me i ate at my workplace. i am angry with him i wish i could talk sense to him, but i had to keep quiet for my mum sake. I swear if anything happens to her, I will never forgive him, he will suffer for the rest of his life 1 Like |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by Chinelo154(f): 7:26pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Helpout12345: He said he will not leave anytime soon ooo, he came to lagos to make cash |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by beautyhd: 7:35pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
So many irresponsible fathers these days. How can a man take his wife and kids to go stay and depend on others for survival? At op, your father and uncle are scroungers, shameless ones at that. Itβs a pity youβre struggling financially yourself, I would have advised you relocate to another place with your mom for her mental health. A useless house husband that canβt live up to his responsibilities and yet not appreciative. I believe your mom saw the signs early in the marriage but decided to continue. Tell your mom not to cook for two days citing no money and let the heavens fall, or let your dad provide for his extended family. 5 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by frozen70(f): 7:46pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Chinelo154: So sorry for the nonsense that have happened To me you did well to confront your dad but his reactions was bad He is a lazy man with a bad intention Left for me Every one will starve except my children because I will give them money to eat out and no one will know Its time for your mum to speak as it's already too late for your dad to send her packing Ignore your dad with his nonchalant attitude and focus on your mum on how to be wise 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by faithfull18(f): 8:04pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Lol, Nigerian women are majorly the breadwinners, they will say it's not true. Go into the streets and see the statistics. It's on NL, men provide everything, smh. 7 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by cavreek: 8:13pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
It's a good thing ur mother is hard working but unfortunately not so for ur father, no offence Start planning for ur future. Consider ur education or probably renting ur apartment by saving as small as possible. Ur concern should be u first, ur mother and siblings. Wisdom in what u do.... Cheers! |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by GboyegaD(m): 8:40pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Chinelo154: Let her know that if she dies, the husband she is protecting will move on. The worst is her children will suffer as you all may be sent out of the house; thus, she needs to make a decision ASAP. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by Nobody: 9:34pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by Nobody: 9:35pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
. |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by PlayMaker14: 9:37pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Jovialjune1:Check my profile again. |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by rooftops: 9:39pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Girl, you need to speak to your mum. She needs some awakening. For your uncle to say he is not leaving soon that means your dad has assured him. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by Nobody: 9:42pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by PlayMaker14: 9:44pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Jovialjune1:Lol, I type like Jason? |
Re: I Am Not Happy With My Dad Please Advise Me by NoToPile: 10:04pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Hmm, you guys are playing with fire, the indomie part is really really pissing me off, wait first feeding 13 people with indomie for 3 days is not even a joke, you need good cash to do that. Is indomie 1 naira. I would advise you to advise your mum to go rent one room like you have said before she dies of HBP and your uncle too came with 5 children waiting for his brother's wife to feed all of them? Na wa oo. She should leave them they will sort themselves out. Better act fast, that woman is drained and her health is being affected. All this Grammer we are speaking is because she's still here with you guys. 6 Likes |
Can Children Be Mentored By Absentee Dads? / Who Impregnated This Lady? How Did It Happen? / If Your Wife Is A Perpetual(chronic)liar,what Is The Solution Pls?
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 87 |