₦airaland Forum

Life2020:
Hi, first I want to thank you all for your advise the last time i was here.

The last time I brought up my problems here, I vented out about how my husband is being a total pain in the ass.

The problem is one, he's cheating on me with several girls and still want to have sex with me but i refused stating that until he does a full STD test we are not having sex, simply put i need to Know that he is STD free before we have sex again.

Two, he's never at home, sometimes for two weeks he stays in hostels with girls, partying and spending his money, at first i tried to understand him because we did marry young, i felt that maybe he misses having his Independence, so at first i said nothing until it got worse. I now feel like a single mom, i do everything, the children don't even know anything about their dad, they see him as a stranger now, he's always cool towards them and i don't like it, have told him several times that i want the children to bound with him, i need them to have a good relationship with their father and have even advised him to take them out, maybe to a theme park or anything really but he has refused stating that he's busy.

Thirdly he body shames me, telling me that i look like a clown, I'm fit, it's not like I'm dirty or anything i take care of myself, i know he's lying because i have admirers, like a lot of them, ever since i started making money and could afford to employ workers, i have done everything to make myself look good, i go to the gym, do facials and i make sure I look beautiful, honestly I don't know what's wrong with him.

I have come to the conclusion that he is only saying it to be mean to me, maybe as a means of control, honestly i think he thinks if he makes me feel less than i am, to make me think i have no where else to go.

Thirdly when we first got married, we both agreed that he will go to the university first then later, i will also attend, after finishing his university education he couldn't find a job so i gave him two of my lands to start a business, he because successful in the business and his now lavishing the money. I have a farming business, it's very successful, with it i have many lands and i built the home me and my husband live in, ever since he started making money i advised him to build his own house but he has refused, instead he bought a fancy car, i want to build an estate so that i can have another source for revenue but for one reason or other, my husband is advising me against it.

Now back to me wanting to attend the university, i want to study accounting so that i can take my business to a new level but my husband has refused saying that he wants more babies, we already have twins (two lovely girls). i told him later, after I finish my university degree and our girls are a little bit older, we will have more kids

Now back to the present day, have decided I'm kicking my husband out. Recently, I noticed he was always at home, I was happy but surprised, I thought he had changed. I decided we need to spend time together as a family, I was even planning on us going on a vacation, give my children a life I wasn't opportune to live, I talked to him about it, we made plans, he agreed to go for a full STD test. I was happy
little did I know that my so called husband has fathered another child outside our marriage, he told me this himself, saying all sorts of nonsense on how I should advise the girl to abort it so that we can be one big happy family, I just looked at him, I haven't said anything to him in days. But I have decided that I'm kicking him out. I want to do this in a way that it doesn't affect my children, I really want them to build a relationship with their dad but as for me I clocked out of this marriage a long time ago.

I was advised by my a friend to make a video while I kick him out but I'm not going to do, he's till the father of my child, and I don't want my children to grow up and find those videos
honestly I just need emotional support while I go through this divorce.

I couldn't read all you wrote. But kick him out if that's what you want. He can't be cheating and still be a pain to you.

LilMissFavvy:
It would have been better to advise her to hide her financial status from people. That would be a far better advice than this bad advice.

And you think she is an alien?

So people doesn't know her?

Life2020:
U are very wise
I thought about that and I have made up my mind that I'm not going to marry again, at least not till my girls are grown up.
I have heard stories about girls being sexually abused or even physical abused, I don't want my girls to grow up in that type of environment.
I might have a few date here and there but let's see because my girls will always be first.
Honestly I want to hear his side of the story because I'm honestly curious to hear his own side of the story.

IF U KNW THE DANGER OF TRAINING CHILDREN OUTSIDE THE FATHERS FEAR FACTOR , THEN U WILL SEARCH FOR A BETTER SOLUTION.

I KNW FOR SURE THAT U HAVE STARTED POISINING UR GALS MIND AGAINST THEIR DAD WHICH THEY WOULD GROW WITH.
I PRAY THEIR ADULTHOOD\MARRIAGE ISN'T HARMED BADLY.

DON'T ALWAYS BRING UP THEIR DADS ISSUE IN THEIR PRESENCE, UNLESS U ARE THE ONE HATING ON THEIR DAD AND THEREBY HARMING THEIR FUTURE.

LilMissFavvy:
Who told you? I hide my inheritance. Don't say what you don't know. Ladies are not wise, I don't just know.

Hiding your money shows you don’t have enough , money is like pregnancy . You can’t hide it

thank you . If saying that makes you happy no problem.

Weirdcamila:
Hiding your money shows you don’t have enough , money is like pregnancy . You can’t hide it

Life2020:
I can't kick him out of a house I built with my own money, a land I brought in my own name

And please am a dark beauty, thank u very much
Hope u have a nice day

you decided to kick him out and you are ask us how to do it, I'm sure you are lying about everything until we ear from your husband, that man might be going through alot. And you are the one destroying his destiny by fraustrating his efforts. This is the problem when woman Make money more than the husband, woman will start misbehaving. Woman of nowadays are very very useless like OP

I know she can't hide all, but she could have been able to hide some. With a reliable agent/lawyer she would have hide the house, etc.

AllDModsAreMaad:
And you think she is an alien?

So people doesn't know her?

Jovialjune1:
It is always the negative aspect you men preach about when an action and decision is against you, the positive aspects always escapes your brain

Is it all divorced women that go through the nonsense you typed? The mumu husband that cheated first didn't think of the effect his action will cause his kids, na the woman turn you remember say there are effects abi? Didn't you see where Op said she doesn't plan to marry anytime soon? You are a terrible person not fit to advice anyone.

Everyone knows that a woman's advice is like the devils advice .... u are a terrible human being as known ... always acting on emotion instead of logic....reason y women will never b allowed to rule ...una no just get sense

Is well

Jovialjune1:
Yes he needs to be chased out of HER house, e shock you ba, pele, no be only una no how to chase wife from house, the trend don dey start small small, best believe that there are so many female bread winners in naija who 100% owns the home their family live in, instead of men in that situation to be humble, they raise shoulder and behave evil, women are getting enlightened and it cuts across all aspects of marriage, the era of servitude and subjugation of women has ended.

SOO ALL OF U GALS KNWS THAT STAYING IN SOME1S HOUSE REQUIRES HUMBLENESS BT UR CHICKS WOULD WANT TO LIVE ARROGANT LIFE IN A MANS HOUSE. THIS IS THE ACTUAL WORK OF (FEMINISM=DOUBLE STANDARD, WEAKNESS AND SELFISHNESS)

LilMissFavvy:
I know she can't hide all, but she could have been able to hide some. With a reliable agent/lawyer she would have hide the house, etc.

You're funny...
No matter how you hide your estates using lawyers/estate management, if you are wealthy and known, people will eventually know who the owner of the house is at time goes on.
I'm speaking from real life experience and not thinking.

If truly she is as rich as what she painted here, hiding her money or identity will require nothing less than relocating to a new and far place entirely and living a lowlife which I'm very sure she is not ready for.

So what are you saying?

Some people said 20K is too small if you know is not too small for you i will show you how to make it with your phone ask me how or chart me on whatsapp or call

08032714698

Life2020:
Hi, first I want to thank you all for your advise the last time i was here.

The last time I brought up my problems here, I vented out about how my husband is being a total pain in the ass.

The problem is one, he's cheating on me with several girls and still want to have sex with me but i refused stating that until he does a full STD test we are not having sex, simply put i need to Know that he is STD free before we have sex again.

Two, he's never at home, sometimes for two weeks he stays in hostels with girls, partying and spending his money, at first i tried to understand him because we did marry young, i felt that maybe he misses having his Independence, so at first i said nothing until it got worse. I now feel like a single mom, i do everything, the children don't even know anything about their dad, they see him as a stranger now, he's always cool towards them and i don't like it, have told him several times that i want the children to bound with him, i need them to have a good relationship with their father and have even advised him to take them out, maybe to a theme park or anything really but he has refused stating that he's busy.

Thirdly he body shames me, telling me that i look like a clown, I'm fit, it's not like I'm dirty or anything i take care of myself, i know he's lying because i have admirers, like a lot of them, ever since i started making money and could afford to employ workers, i have done everything to make myself look good, i go to the gym, do facials and i make sure I look beautiful, honestly I don't know what's wrong with him.

I have come to the conclusion that he is only saying it to be mean to me, maybe as a means of control, honestly i think he thinks if he makes me feel less than i am, to make me think i have no where else to go.

Thirdly when we first got married, we both agreed that he will go to the university first then later, i will also attend, after finishing his university education he couldn't find a job so i gave him two of my lands to start a business, he because successful in the business and his now lavishing the money. I have a farming business, it's very successful, with it i have many lands and i built the home me and my husband live in, ever since he started making money i advised him to build his own house but he has refused, instead he bought a fancy car, i want to build an estate so that i can have another source for revenue but for one reason or other, my husband is advising me against it.

Now back to me wanting to attend the university, i want to study accounting so that i can take my business to a new level but my husband has refused saying that he wants more babies, we already have twins (two lovely girls). i told him later, after I finish my university degree and our girls are a little bit older, we will have more kids

Now back to the present day, have decided I'm kicking my husband out. Recently, I noticed he was always at home, I was happy but surprised, I thought he had changed. I decided we need to spend time together as a family, I was even planning on us going on a vacation, give my children a life I wasn't opportune to live, I talked to him about it, we made plans, he agreed to go for a full STD test. I was happy
little did I know that my so called husband has fathered another child outside our marriage, he told me this himself, saying all sorts of nonsense on how I should advise the girl to abort it so that we can be one big happy family, I just looked at him, I haven't said anything to him in days. But I have decided that I'm kicking him out. I want to do this in a way that it doesn't affect my children, I really want them to build a relationship with their dad but as for me I clocked out of this marriage a long time ago.

I was advised by my a friend to make a video while I kick him out but I'm not going to do, he's till the father of my child, and I don't want my children to grow up and find those videos
honestly I just need emotional support while I go through this divorce.

hope na ur house wey u wan kick am abi na u Dey accommodate am

Kooldon:
78% of young girls without the influence of their fathers always end up being WILD and unmarried cos their did not stay married to their dads.
Get his family people involve, let him sign an undertaking that such attitude repeat itself. Let him take the child and settle the mum.
It is obvious, he didnt truly love you but your money

Where do you get this above Stat from?

And what exactly is wrong with choosing to remain single instead of being married? MUST everyone get married?

Romanoff:
Why is the woman never under a spell when she cheats?

A man's infidelity tends to be spiritualized as a means of absolving him of responsibility for his actions.

Reason i will never live in a woman's owned house.

Kingcalls:
Everyone knows that a woman's advice is like the devils advice .... u are a terrible human being as known ... always acting on emotion instead of logic....reason y women will never b allowed to rule ...una no just get sense

Shebi you see how Nigerians have been enjoying Nigeria, under male leadership since 1960.

The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know..
Stop thinking that you field will be greener elsewhere.
Remain the good wife that you are and
Just learn to forgive him in advance.

Kick him out Asap. He is an irresponsible he-goat!

PlayMaker14:
Efulefu, hope you're okay?

you are fool bro

KanuSE:
Now you niggaz are freaking out. What's wrong with moving into your wife's house and you guys growing together?

Marriage is a partnership, NOT a competition u know.

Haba mana!

Accommodation and children's school fees are my sole responsibility...I don't need any woman's contribution or input for that....the other family expenses might be shared but those two expenses....is my responsibility.


God forbid...later my wife will now send me packing...

Mindlog:
Shebi you see how Nigerians have been enjoying Nigeria, under male leadership since 1960.

Wud hv been far worse if it we had women leaders...history has proved that when women are in power, they lead deadly wars..people get killed easily ... una no well...all of una

nwajesus12:
you are fool bro

You're mistaking me for your Dad bro.

Life2020:
Hi, first I want to thank you all for your advise the last time i was here.

The last time I brought up my problems here, I vented out about how my husband is being a total pain in the ass.

The problem is one, he's cheating on me with several girls and still want to have sex with me but i refused stating that until he does a full STD test we are not having sex, simply put i need to Know that he is STD free before we have sex again.

Two, he's never at home, sometimes for two weeks he stays in hostels with girls, partying and spending his money, at first i tried to understand him because we did marry young, i felt that maybe he misses having his Independence, so at first i said nothing until it got worse. I now feel like a single mom, i do everything, the children don't even know anything about their dad, they see him as a stranger now, he's always cool towards them and i don't like it, have told him several times that i want the children to bound with him, i need them to have a good relationship with their father and have even advised him to take them out, maybe to a theme park or anything really but he has refused stating that he's busy.

Thirdly he body shames me, telling me that i look like a clown, I'm fit, it's not like I'm dirty or anything i take care of myself, i know he's lying because i have admirers, like a lot of them, ever since i started making money and could afford to employ workers, i have done everything to make myself look good, i go to the gym, do facials and i make sure I look beautiful, honestly I don't know what's wrong with him.

I have come to the conclusion that he is only saying it to be mean to me, maybe as a means of control, honestly i think he thinks if he makes me feel less than i am, to make me think i have no where else to go.

Thirdly when we first got married, we both agreed that he will go to the university first then later, i will also attend, after finishing his university education he couldn't find a job so i gave him two of my lands to start a business, he because successful in the business and his now lavishing the money. I have a farming business, it's very successful, with it i have many lands and i built the home me and my husband live in, ever since he started making money i advised him to build his own house but he has refused, instead he bought a fancy car, i want to build an estate so that i can have another source for revenue but for one reason or other, my husband is advising me against it.

Now back to me wanting to attend the university, i want to study accounting so that i can take my business to a new level but my husband has refused saying that he wants more babies, we already have twins (two lovely girls). i told him later, after I finish my university degree and our girls are a little bit older, we will have more kids

Now back to the present day, have decided I'm kicking my husband out. Recently, I noticed he was always at home, I was happy but surprised, I thought he had changed. I decided we need to spend time together as a family, I was even planning on us going on a vacation, give my children a life I wasn't opportune to live, I talked to him about it, we made plans, he agreed to go for a full STD test. I was happy
little did I know that my so called husband has fathered another child outside our marriage, he told me this himself, saying all sorts of nonsense on how I should advise the girl to abort it so that we can be one big happy family, I just looked at him, I haven't said anything to him in days. But I have decided that I'm kicking him out. I want to do this in a way that it doesn't affect my children, I really want them to build a relationship with their dad but as for me I clocked out of this marriage a long time ago.

I was advised by my a friend to make a video while I kick him out but I'm not going to do, he's till the father of my child, and I don't want my children to grow up and find those videos
honestly I just need emotional support while I go through this divorce.

Call a family meeting, explain all these things you typed, tell them you want to separate from your husband.

Then let your family take things from there.

Figger:
the reason I turned down a marriage offer by a woman who was financially comfortable than me back then, no regrets.

MEN CAN TURN DOWN RICH WOMEN BT WOMEN HARDLY TURN THEM DOWN.

newdays:
The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know..
Stop thinking that you field will be greener elsewhere.
Remain the good wife that you are and
Just learn to forgive him in advance.

You're not female

You shouldn't have denied him sex completely...at least opt for a condom.

Then find a more subtle way to get him to test.

Anf from your write up, its glaring that there are other issues asides the sex, which means theres more to your relationship with him not just the sex. You want me to believe he hates to spend time with his children because of your sex? Or his kids now see hime as a stranger because he doesnt go out with them? really?

You probably cannibalized his image in front of his children, thats what usually turns kids against their father.

I'll advise you swallow this your pride, tell yourself the truth, be humble, and fix whatever the issue you caused is...or separate from him if you think its only him thats the problrm...which i strongly disagree with even with only your own side of the story.

If you finally decide to boot him out, just know that someday in the future, you'll give the same thing you denied your husband and father of your kids to a stranger...especially someone who does not have as much value as him...and it will be unprotected. Remember my words when that happens...and after then...maybe phase 2 of your issues in life will begin.

Morale of the story...FIX your home before he borns another!

Support the new baby wherever they are, but let them maintain their lane. And ride your man with moaning and pleasure. You got one life okay? Dont mess it up!

Bye Bye

Kobonaire234:
Having known several kids who suffered as a result of their father's playing away games....including one whose father summoned him to his deathbed, and warned him not to ever repeat his (father's) mistakes in playing around with women...I can't be that sanguine as you

It is a man's world...let us men therefore behave with maturity. Too many people have suffered, both in this country, and outside because some men could not control their urges or something....and excused it by saying..it is a man's world.

So you support she throws her husband out?

Life2020:
U are very wise
I thought about that and I have made up my mind that I'm not going to marry again, at least not till my girls are grown up.
I have heard stories about girls being sexually abused or even physical abused, I don't want my girls to grow up in that type of environment.
I might have a few date here and there but let's see because my girls will always be first.
Honestly I want to hear his side of the story because I'm honestly curious to hear his own side of the story.

Please what do you, as the wife want to hear from him/his own side of the story

send him out and collect my number. Shebii prick dey hungry you...

once you get correct digging, your emotions ill calm.

Men don't love rich women ooo... and they can never trust them. They know they can be messed up anytime the woman get angry...

don't worry, there r thousands of men admiring you, collecting your number right now. The grass is always green at the other end.

Side note: NA wife beaters remain for out now. Guys of nowadays no dey cherish girls oh...they see women as sex object...

i know u wan try am. Try and come back to share testimony

Kingcalls:
Wud hv been far worse if it we had women leaders...history has proved that when women are in power, they lead deadly wars..people get killed easily ... una no well...all of una

THE HATRED WOMEN HAVE FOR MEN WILL ONLY LEAD THEM INTO CONSTITUTING BLUNDER IN LEADERSHIP ONLY TO MAKE THE MALE GENDER FEEL THE PAIN.
GUESS WHAT ? IS STILL 80% OF SIMPle MEN WHO CARRY OUT THOSE TASKS

What do you mean by wealthy and known? how will she be known? Is she a politician or celebrity? There are women who hide stuffs, take it or leave it. I'm not saying she will hide it forever. Probably in the very far future she let's her children know, or let's the husband know. Only time should direct her on when to open up.

AllDModsAreMaad:
You're funny...
No matter how you hide your estates using lawyers/estate management, if you are wealthy and known, people will eventually know who the owner of the house is at time goes on.
I'm speaking from real life experience and not thinking.

If truly she is as rich as what she painted here, hiding her money or identity will require nothing less than relocating to a new and far place entirely and living a lowlife which I'm very sure she is not ready for.

So what are you saying?