₦airaland Forum

If your story is true,then you have endure enough,you can exit hun from the house if you wish to,he is such a irresponsible husband and father,I have my own Idirs too and I have deceived in also divorcing my wife for some reasons too but never will I be useless or irresponsible to my children,I will always be there for them.

TheWolfen:
Yes kick him out.
There is no peace without war.

However it turns out. Make sure you won't regret it else then settle for dialogue. If you choosing the later option then make sure he won't marry the pregnant lady.
Do ask him the reason why he cheated and make amends. Sometimes women make the home too hot for men that they rather choose to hang out at the bar after work... They meet other girls there and the rest is history.
Check yourself too woman, if you nag or do something else to make him uncomfortable then stop it else the next man will won't want it too.


Goodluck

God bless you cos some women too are coarsive at home and that's why I think or fell like we need to hear from the side story of the kan too ..

So we can have a good conclusion on this matter

Where does all the deep intimacy couples both once shared as singles that always make total nonsense of more serious singles quickly fly to after weddings?

Life2020:
Hi, first I want to thank you all for your advise the last time i was here.

The last time I brought up my problems here, I vented out about how my husband is being a total pain in the ass.

The problem is one, he's cheating on me with several girls and still want to have sex with me but i refused stating that until he does a full STD test we are not having sex, simply put i need to Know that he is STD free before we have sex again.

Two, he's never at home, sometimes for two weeks he stays in hostels with girls, partying and spending his money, at first i tried to understand him because we did marry young, i felt that maybe he misses having his Independence, so at first i said nothing until it got worse. I now feel like a single mom, i do everything, the children don't even know anything about their dad, they see him as a stranger now, he's always cool towards them and i don't like it, have told him several times that i want the children to bound with him, i need them to have a good relationship with their father and have even advised him to take them out, maybe to a theme park or anything really but he has refused stating that he's busy.

Thirdly he body shames me, telling me that i look like a clown, I'm fit, it's not like I'm dirty or anything i take care of myself, i know he's lying because i have admirers, like a lot of them, ever since i started making money and could afford to employ workers, i have done everything to make myself look good, i go to the gym, do facials and i make sure I look beautiful, honestly I don't know what's wrong with him.

I have come to the conclusion that he is only saying it to be mean to me, maybe as a means of control, honestly i think he thinks if he makes me feel less than i am, to make me think i have no where else to go.

Thirdly when we first got married, we both agreed that he will go to the university first then later, i will also attend, after finishing his university education he couldn't find a job so i gave him two of my lands to start a business, he because successful in the business and his now lavishing the money. I have a farming business, it's very successful, with it i have many lands and i built the home me and my husband live in, ever since he started making money i advised him to build his own house but he has refused, instead he bought a fancy car, i want to build an estate so that i can have another source for revenue but for one reason or other, my husband is advising me against it.

Now back to me wanting to attend the university, i want to study accounting so that i can take my business to a new level but my husband has refused saying that he wants more babies, we already have twins (two lovely girls). i told him later, after I finish my university degree and our girls are a little bit older, we will have more kids

Now back to the present day, have decided I'm kicking my husband out. Recently, I noticed he was always at home, I was happy but surprised, I thought he had changed. I decided we need to spend time together as a family, I was even planning on us going on a vacation, give my children a life I wasn't opportune to live, I talked to him about it, we made plans, he agreed to go for a full STD test. I was happy
little did I know that my so called husband has fathered another child outside our marriage, he told me this himself, saying all sorts of nonsense on how I should advise the girl to abort it so that we can be one big happy family, I just looked at him, I haven't said anything to him in days. But I have decided that I'm kicking him out. I want to do this in a way that it doesn't affect my children, I really want them to build a relationship with their dad but as for me I clocked out of this marriage a long time ago.

I was advised by my a friend to make a video while I kick him out but I'm not going to do, he's till the father of my child, and I don't want my children to grow up and find those videos
honestly I just need emotional support while I go through this divorce.

Well... Your story is really sad one, but no perfect person out there, just find a solution to this problem without divorcing him. Give him this last chance, I understand how pained u are feeling now but give him this last chance to make amend. No problem without solution, since he's not beating u physically just give him a chance.


I will advice you to stay away from those friends asking you to do a video while throwing your husband out... Believe me, they are mocking you behind. Be wise, I wish u the best.

VeryWickedGoat:
1. You be worwor mgbeke
2. Thought you women claim to be good advisers?
3. You need a big prick to calm you down this period

DM me.

U are very rude! That’s not how to do things

Tayorshd2:
God bless you cos some women too are coarsive at home and that's why I think or fell like we need to hear from the side story of the kan too ..

So we can have a good conclusion on this matter

Would you have said this if it was the wife that has been a serial cheat and got pregnant for another man while legally married to her husband?

Life2020:
Hi, first I want to thank you all for your advise the last time i was here.

The last time I brought up my problems here, I vented out about how my husband is being a total pain in the ass.

The problem is one, he's cheating on me with several girls and still want to have sex with me but i refused stating that until he does a full STD test we are not having sex, simply put i need to Know that he is STD free before we have sex again.

Two, he's never at home, sometimes for two weeks he stays in hostels with girls, partying and spending his money, at first i tried to understand him because we did marry young, i felt that maybe he misses having his Independence, so at first i said nothing until it got worse. I now feel like a single mom, i do everything, the children don't even know anything about their dad, they see him as a stranger now, he's always cool towards them and i don't like it, have told him several times that i want the children to bound with him, i need them to have a good relationship with their father and have even advised him to take them out, maybe to a theme park or anything really but he has refused stating that he's busy.

Thirdly he body shames me, telling me that i look like a clown, I'm fit, it's not like I'm dirty or anything i take care of myself, i know he's lying because i have admirers, like a lot of them, ever since i started making money and could afford to employ workers, i have done everything to make myself look good, i go to the gym, do facials and i make sure I look beautiful, honestly I don't know what's wrong with him.

I have come to the conclusion that he is only saying it to be mean to me, maybe as a means of control, honestly i think he thinks if he makes me feel less than i am, to make me think i have no where else to go.

Thirdly when we first got married, we both agreed that he will go to the university first then later, i will also attend, after finishing his university education he couldn't find a job so i gave him two of my lands to start a business, he because successful in the business and his now lavishing the money. I have a farming business, it's very successful, with it i have many lands and i built the home me and my husband live in, ever since he started making money i advised him to build his own house but he has refused, instead he bought a fancy car, i want to build an estate so that i can have another source for revenue but for one reason or other, my husband is advising me against it.

Now back to me wanting to attend the university, i want to study accounting so that i can take my business to a new level but my husband has refused saying that he wants more babies, we already have twins (two lovely girls). i told him later, after I finish my university degree and our girls are a little bit older, we will have more kids

Now back to the present day, have decided I'm kicking my husband out. Recently, I noticed he was always at home, I was happy but surprised, I thought he had changed. I decided we need to spend time together as a family, I was even planning on us going on a vacation, give my children a life I wasn't opportune to live, I talked to him about it, we made plans, he agreed to go for a full STD test. I was happy
little did I know that my so called husband has fathered another child outside our marriage, he told me this himself, saying all sorts of nonsense on how I should advise the girl to abort it so that we can be one big happy family, I just looked at him, I haven't said anything to him in days. But I have decided that I'm kicking him out. I want to do this in a way that it doesn't affect my children, I really want them to build a relationship with their dad but as for me I clocked out of this marriage a long time ago.

I was advised by my a friend to make a video while I kick him out but I'm not going to do, he's till the father of my child, and I don't want my children to grow up and find those videos
honestly I just need emotional support while I go through this divorce.

Hi,I need to talk to you,msg me and I will reply you, thanks.

Am i the only one who thinks this is a fabricated story.?....
All this kind of supportive patient and enduring ladies are only on social media...
Nice movie script

I go like watch this skit sha bt las las u need beta preeek as ur hubby don starve u 2much

Psychologist cannever judge a case hearing from one side,
So sorry about how you feel.
nearly half of men misbehaving is as a result of the attitude of their wives, pls before u make conclusion, let's consider the other side of the story!
So many men are dying in silence, most especially those men that went into wedlock all in the name of she has money.

This woman sounds cool, but I came to realize that in Nigeria, 38 out of 50 of men that marry to rich women, dont have say in their houses..

Honestly even though this is one side to the story, I won't put it past some men to keep messing up when their wives are more successful than them. The husband is not getting his priorities right as a man. He doesn't know what he wants. There is more to marriage than making babies. You are bringing more children into this already over populated country. How do you cater for their wellbeing? Married men stop cheating on your wives. I don't know why people feel the need to cheat when they are married.

Such a man does not deserve u one beat. Those of u supporting her husband, will u also support a woman who committed the same offense?
My dear, please go ahead and move on. But bear it in mind that men out there might have heavyweight STD. Just be careful with all. May be he already have STD and that is why he is cheating. At least I have seen someone that was doing that. Go ahead and invest more u will be a great winner.
He is spending ur money because he is not the one that worked for it. I believe in a woman supporting her man.
By the way, a lot of men do support their wife but I have never seen a man who support his wife financially, emotionally and in all way good and yet accept and support a SERIAL cheating wife who got pregnant for another man while legally married to him and under his roof.
Am not comparing you. What am trying to say is that, it’s better two of u separate because he would have done more than that if he should be in ur shoes.

Cleveraustine01:
Madam go to blessed chapel and pray for your husband,what is happening is not ordinary. give me your number I will direct you to a powerful man of God who can rescue your marriage

There’s nothing to pray for. Will u also tell a man to go pray for his serial irresponsible cheating wife? Of course NO! So let her leave the marriage. I hate an irresponsible person who doesn’t value his or her family

08067134268 ..please reach out to me i have something important to tell you. I have a solution

KanuSE:
Don't be scared of a successful woman.

not at all

Mindlog:
Is it the same lady he wants her to abort the pregnancy?

Share a weblink that cites that in Nigerian law that would guarantee half of the assets?

On what grounds would a judge in Nigeria grant him custody of the children and child support from their mother? As in, he gets custody of the children, then his soon to be baby mama becomes the children' mother?

It’s not a guarantee but a possibility. Even in the west, splitting of property and child support is not a guarantee albeit, it’s a common trend.

Section 72 (1) of the Nigerian Matrimonial Causes Act is the basis for every settlement of property of divorced parties. This section grants discretion to courts to settle property of divorced couples in a manner that is “… just and equitable in the circumstances of the cases ….”.

All he needs is a great lawyer and he could have custody of the kids. You forget that Nigeria is adopting western cultures and policies every day.

Sorry what you're going through madam.
But I think your husband is a under a spell. Prayer is also a Key.
Also, I know a Marriage counselor who could help by counsel. You can DM me if you don't mind.

wagzy37:
It’s not a guarantee but a possibility. Even in the west, splitting of property and child support is not a guarantee albeit, it’s a common trend.

Section 72 (1) of the Nigerian Matrimonial Causes Act is the basis for every settlement of property of divorced parties. This section grants discretion to courts to settle property of divorced couples in a manner that is “… just and equitable in the circumstances of the cases ….”.

All he needs is a great lawyer and he could have custody of the kids. You forget that Nigeria is adopting western cultures and policies every day.

Get custody of the children he is not close to
going by the narration or get custody on the grounds that their mother poses a danger to the children through her wayward lifestyle, abuse of drugs or has been clinically diagnosed to be mentally unfit to continue to provide care?

Worst still no Nigerian high court judge will grant him custody of their daughters, who are minors and his impregnation of another outside his marriage is a proof, he has no moral grounds to fight for custody. His lawyers must have to prove that he has been present in their daughters' lives, involved in their day to day care, their education etc and most importantly, how do the girls feel about their father (that is where my skill comes in )

Can he afford elite lawyers more than the likes of the sons of Atiku, IBB whose estranged wives won custody of their children.

nereushouse:
Sorry what you're going through madam.
But I think your husband is a under a spell. Prayer is also a Key.
Also, I know a Marriage counselor who could help by counsel. You can DM me if you don't mind.

Which spell? We should stop spiritualizing wilful misconducts and take responsibility for our actions!

If it was the wife sleeping around, would you say she is under a spell?

Communication very important in any relationship.
From what you have posted your husband have failed as a responsible man/ father.

....but then the book Out Of His Mind by Bayo Adebowale comes to mind...you need to know what is making him act irresponsibly...

I encourage you to have clear, unassuming communications with him.... regularly....

Life2020:
U are very wise
I thought about that and I have made up my mind that I'm not going to marry again, at least not till my girls are grown up.
I have heard stories about girls being sexually abused or even physical abused, I don't want my girls to grow up in that type of environment.
I might have a few date here and there but let's see because my girls will always be first.
Honestly I want to hear his side of the story because I'm honestly curious to hear his own side of the story.

PlayMaker14:
If I get you correctly, you said you need emotional support as you chase the father of your beautiful kids out of the house....

Alright, we will give you all the emotional support you need dear.

If she was the one cheating, wouldn't you give her hubby emotional support to kick her out?

Weirdcamila:
The truth is unless you decide to stay single , the men out there are worse. I didn’t see where he beats you or maltreat your besides body shaming which he does to cage you.
Your husband is a nice man, he seems lost .
Find a way to help him before kicking him out .
I am not supporting your husband but think deeply and you will understand what I mean.
You are doing well and it will be difficult to find a man that loves you , they will be there to comfort you and milk you then still cheat on you.
Open your eyes

Just imagine talk
I couldn't have made this up

Jovialjune1:
KEEP CRYING.

SOO IN UR ASSHOLE LANGUAGE , SAYING THE TRUTH MEANS CRYING ? U HAVE PROVED U HAVE PROBLEM HEARING THE TRUTH. IF TRUTH MEANS CRYING , THEN I LOVE CRYING.

Let's hear his own side of the story too. Women are naturally prone to see themselves as victims in most situations even when they aren't. Let's hear his own side

Mindlog:
Get custody of the children he is not close to
going by the narration or get custody on the grounds that their mother poses a danger to the children through her wayward lifestyle, abuse of drugs or has been clinically diagnosed to be mentally unfit to continue to provide care?

Worst still no Nigerian high court judge will grant him custody of their daughters, who are minors and his impregnation of another outside his marriage is a proof, he has no moral grounds to fight for custody. His lawyers must have to prove that he has been present in their daughters' lives, involved in their day to day care, their education etc and most importantly, how do the girls feel about their father (that is where my skill comes in )

Can he afford elite lawyers more than the likes of the sons of Atiku, IBB whose estranged wives won custody of their children.

Lol. I understand what you’re saying though. But You asked for a reference to prove my point, I showed you one. Whether he isn’t fit to win the marital battle in court is a different point. The end point is, who’s gonna be better for it if she kicks him out? Well, I’ll tell you who isn’t gonna benefit. The kids. Single mothers overwhelming have raised daughters to be single mothers and very weak men.

Kick him out. I mean, literally kick the idiot out. Push him close to the door then land him a heavy kick on the back. Then throw his stuffs at him, then shut the door behind you. That's how it's done.

fluffybaby:
If she was the one cheating, wouldn't you give her hubby emotional support to kick her out?

I say we go give her the emotional support na....

Are you seeing another Man?

Mindlog:
Escapade don turn to belle, husband wants wife to talk to sidechick about aborting the baby......the guy no well.

As in, She should not give in.

In the same vein...

I overheard a video call between two friends advising each the other on how to abort their girl friends' pregnancies.

My cousin, who ended the call, was shocked I heard everything.

I warned him very harshly then. This was 8 years ago.
He married that lady and the child they had together has been their only child.

Meanwhile his friend's girlfriend had the abortion done.

She got married to a very wealthy man who adores her alot.
Guess what, she can't have kids.
It's been 5years now.

I was at her wedding.
A simple advice or chat can make one bloodguilty.

My cousin's friend married someone else who bore him three kids.

Na the ex lose last last.

@Op don't mind your husband. Let him clean his mess himself.

He's home to see who well you'll take his mess and when he feels things are fine.

He's gone again

Life2020:
I can't kick him out of a house I built with my own money, a land I brought in my own name

And please am a dark beauty, thank u very much
Hope u have a nice day

You're wasting your time replying trolls on here,just read their comments and move on. Hold no grudges and exchange no words with anyone.
God will calm you in these trying times but just as someone on the first page said "choose your poison wisely".

Life2020:
Hi, first I want to thank you all for your advise the last time i was here.

The last time I brought up my problems here, I vented out about how my husband is being a total pain in the ass.

The problem is one, he's cheating on me with several girls and still want to have sex with me but i refused stating that until he does a full STD test we are not having sex, simply put i need to Know that he is STD free before we have sex again.

Two, he's never at home, sometimes for two weeks he stays in hostels with girls, partying and spending his money, at first i tried to understand him because we did marry young, i felt that maybe he misses having his Independence, so at first i said nothing until it got worse. I now feel like a single mom, i do everything, the children don't even know anything about their dad, they see him as a stranger now, he's always cool towards them and i don't like it, have told him several times that i want the children to bound with him, i need them to have a good relationship with their father and have even advised him to take them out, maybe to a theme park or anything really but he has refused stating that he's busy.

Thirdly he body shames me, telling me that i look like a clown, I'm fit, it's not like I'm dirty or anything i take care of myself, i know he's lying because i have admirers, like a lot of them, ever since i started making money and could afford to employ workers, i have done everything to make myself look good, i go to the gym, do facials and i make sure I look beautiful, honestly I don't know what's wrong with him.

I have come to the conclusion that he is only saying it to be mean to me, maybe as a means of control, honestly i think he thinks if he makes me feel less than i am, to make me think i have no where else to go.

Thirdly when we first got married, we both agreed that he will go to the university first then later, i will also attend, after finishing his university education he couldn't find a job so i gave him two of my lands to start a business, he because successful in the business and his now lavishing the money. I have a farming business, it's very successful, with it i have many lands and i built the home me and my husband live in, ever since he started making money i advised him to build his own house but he has refused, instead he bought a fancy car, i want to build an estate so that i can have another source for revenue but for one reason or other, my husband is advising me against it.

Now back to me wanting to attend the university, i want to study accounting so that i can take my business to a new level but my husband has refused saying that he wants more babies, we already have twins (two lovely girls). i told him later, after I finish my university degree and our girls are a little bit older, we will have more kids

Now back to the present day, have decided I'm kicking my husband out. Recently, I noticed he was always at home, I was happy but surprised, I thought he had changed. I decided we need to spend time together as a family, I was even planning on us going on a vacation, give my children a life I wasn't opportune to live, I talked to him about it, we made plans, he agreed to go for a full STD test. I was happy
little did I know that my so called husband has fathered another child outside our marriage, he told me this himself, saying all sorts of nonsense on how I should advise the girl to abort it so that we can be one big happy family, I just looked at him, I haven't said anything to him in days. But I have decided that I'm kicking him out. I want to do this in a way that it doesn't affect my children, I really want them to build a relationship with their dad but as for me I clocked out of this marriage a long time ago.

I was advised by my a friend to make a video while I kick him out but I'm not going to do, he's till the father of my child, and I don't want my children to grow up and find those videos
honestly I just need emotional support while I go through this divorce.

Hey there, you are beautifully and wonderfully made, and very successful too. If things actually played out the way you described them, you have every right to do what you have in mind. I hate it when men try to suppress their women. If without a degree you are achieving all of these, only God knows the great heights you will attain when you have one. He clearly knows this, hence, his shenanigans in trying to kill your shine.

I know it is difficult to be a single parent, but you don't want that kinda man around you, I just pray he restricts his madness to what he's doing now, and it doesn't grow to wanting to do you harm.

Just make sure those can protect are with you when you want to send him off, I have seen such evictions end up bloody.

A piece I would give my sister and friend, all the best