₦airaland Forum

This is beyond what anybody can contribute to... But I think you still need to handle this case with strong carefulness... May God be with you

co787:
My wife and daughter traveled to her village in August for 3weeks and they were supposed to be back before the school resumption but she changed her mind saying her mother was seriously ill that she has to extend her stay which was fine by me and when they returned back I noticed that she has lost so much weight which I asked her why she said it was due to the stress of caring for her sick mother which is normal.

She is her only daughter and oldest of 4 her younger ones are boys so they cannot take care of their mother better than her. Here is the reason I got her arrested, during her stay in the village, her 14 years old brother raped my daughter. This is one of the reason she overstayed in the village. She didn't tell me anything about my daughter being raped she and her mother had decided to give her treatment and cover the idiot that repeatedly raped her and when she came bck she didn't say anything to me but she confided in her prophetess which in her turn has started spreading news until it came to my ears that my own daughter was raped and her own mother has kept quiet and I can imagine if it was a member of my family that did the abominable acts the whole world would have heard it and she would have done everything in her power to put in prison.

But because it is her own brother, she has decided to keep quiet and not knowing the world is small and not secret is hidden forever. I took my daughter to the hospital the result has confirmed she was tampered i was devasted she has been the best wife to me and she has helped me and my sisters to reconciled in the past but what she has done to me it is unforgivable and I have arrested her and when I bail her I will divorce her and take custody of my daughter.

I don't know if I need advice or not but your input and suggestion are welcome I will be reading all your comments.

Ulunne777:
The burden placed on women.A woman leaves her home to go take care of her mother because the male ones are immature or can't take care of her properly.
But the immature one knows how to find a hole but can't take care of his mother.

Anybody who knows the hole is matured to take care of his mother.
The evil that happens in Africa.look what it has brought on this woman who must have been guilt tripped because of blood not to divulge.

Mtcheeew

My friend shut it, women are meant to take care of the children, which one is burden?

Amumaigwe:
That's how feminists react to news like this. This one no enter at all.

Nna be calming down oh, shey you are also a menist because this is how they react to women's posts.

Ofadaman:
Can I ask you a question, if your husband travels to the village with your daughter and his brother defiled her (a two yrs old girl), and he comes home without telling you anything ,hiding the whole thing , until you hear it from someone else. What would you do

I agree it is a terrible situation. Sometimes human beings procrastinate in doing the right thing hoping to find a better way of breaking the news. That was her mistake. I believe she would also be carrying a lot of pain too. Remember, she is the real mother and my anger or your anger cannot compare to hers. But one does not burn down one's own home in order to kill a rat. That child needs both her parents at this time. She will need to heal. The whole family needs to heal. At the end the whole family must find a way to heal after tempers and hurt have abated a bit. Doing more harm is not the way to go even though you may get a fleeting satisfaction but it does not solve anything.

DaInferno:
Tough one

My questions are thus:
1. Why didn't you arrest the rapist as well?
2. What exactly are you offended at your wife for?

Do you really think it's divorce worthy?!
She isn't the rapist.

@bukatyne needs to see this

The wife is a criminal for concealing a rape. She should serve time for it.

If I were to be in your wife's shoe I would have gotten that bastard arrested because he's a threat to the community...

I pray never to get married to a rapist , because I won't take it easy ... Some women will be covering their husbands for raping their daughters, it will never be me in this one life ...

How could he do that to a 2yrs old child , I'm shedding tears right now ....

It hurts but trust me you are not handling it the right way.

Do you think she is happy that her own brother raped her daughter?

She is caught in all these mess. Do you know the amount of tears or pain she would have gone through to conceal it? Or the emotional torture she must be giving herself to cover all these?

On one hand, her mother is there begging and threatening to die if it spirals, on the other hand her daughter is damaged and on the other side she fears the wrath or reaction of her husband.

I am not trying to justify her but what she feared is what you just did...

Arresting her is too much of a punishment. What I'd do is to send her back to her parents house for sometime but will definitely get that boy arrested. Not to keep him there forever but for him to stay there for three months with hard labour so that he realizes the gravity of his crime.

If you love your daughter, you will not destroy her mother because at the end when she grows, she will hate you forever

Handle this issue diplomatically please.

co787:
She is 2 years old my wife is still in detention I will bail her next week I haven't arrested him yet because I am in Lagos there are in nnewi I am planning to go there next week along with my wife to arrest him and I will return to Lagos alone she will stay with her people

You are doing the right thing. Sorry for what you are going through.

Moh247:
Your brother in-law commited a crime and your wife and mother in-law covered it up

That's a crime and they are both guilty of conspiracy

Even to make matters worse, the truth was hidden from you her supposed life partner

If Nigeria continue protecting criminals, crime won't end

Just as you protect tinubu, ewu.

co787:
She is 2 years old my wife is still in detention I will bail her next week I haven't arrested him yet because I am in Lagos there are in nnewi I am planning to go there next week along with my wife to arrest him and I will return to Lagos alone she will stay with her people

Are you sure this is normal, I hope its not diabolic or ritual stuff, cause its not imaginable.
you did no wrong in arresting your wife, hiding that from you is terrible. she don't trust you but trust her prophetess. But since she has being good, please forgive her, it won't be easy for her, trust me, she is worse hit its just that she shouldn't have hidden it from you.
Any decision you take is OK, that trust is broken and I will be hard for you to trust her again but please forgive her.
Get the boy and mother arrested and write some statement for future sake before releasing them.
Hiding and lie about it is even abominable! may God heal you and your daughter.


This is terrible!

SocialJustice:
Learn to spot a mistake when you see it and stop being unnecessarily emotional. No be your pikin them f*ck. Acting like you f*cking care about a random anonymous stranger you met online.

The child need not to be biologically mine, to be that invested!

It wasn't a mistake on your part but your being very comfortable blaming a victim of sexual abuse. Just make sure you don't sexually abuse minors around you because if you get unfortunate to have me as the Clinical child psychologist who is to write the victim's impact assessment report, by the time you come out of prison you will so be out of tune with the world around you.

ibechris:
If u divorce ur wife and marry another woman wetin u gain?

Your woman was wrong in all indices and that shows how bad she felt by her weight loss and for not confiding in u.

I bet u,there is no woman/man that wouldn't hide this kind of thing to his or her family members because of how abominable it sounds.

However,u can't use ur hand to shatter your home...she,ur wife has been battered emotionally and I think,she needs to be covered and not shamed to this level.

Note,u have arrested the wrong person.

What happened to the main culprit?
This is a very complicated matter that needs to be treated with extreme care and caution,if not,u may not escape the stigma that comes with it.

Good luck to u.

The wife, the mother inlaw and the boy should be arrested. The wife and mother inlaw should face about 7 years for concealing a rape.
The wife does not deserve to raise their daughter.
A mother is supposed to fight for her child like a lion.

jimmychang:
Like I said if your emotions prevent you from doing the right thing then you are a slave to yourself and be prepared to the consequences.Funny thing here is that you are considering how only the wife feels,what about the husband? He has no right to be angry or feel betrayed ?

If you follow your emotions blindly you will end up the biggest fool on earth.You have excuses but it isn't valid in the grand scheme of things.If we keep using emotions to judge how people react then the world will be in total chaos.

If she is a good mother she would have done the right thing.She can't protect her own kid and you are talking about emotions.WOMEN ARE MORE PROTECTIVE OF THEIR KIDS.Lastly even a fool has an excuse too.

Do you haveva daughter or a younger one? ...then you won't be trying to justify shit.

the day emotions gets the best of you dont mutter, just face the consequencies.. una go just dey form Rambo everywhere.

mens83:
If your story is true, on what ground do you want to divorce her?
What evil did she do that is unforgivable according to you?
Yes she might not have told you but that does not mean she is bad wife. The trauma and shock is enough to emotionally damage her. She may have wanted to deal with it as family matter.
Now you know apply wisdom not locking her up and seeking divorce.
Mind you any woman you marry will never cherish and protect that your daughter if not worsen her case.
You said she lost weight. Now read in between lines and see that the rape issue was the reason. Don't add more fuel to the fire.
You can deal with the boy but be careful and mindful of more emotional trauma upon your wife.
That heart though and forge ahead with life.

What stupid trauma are you talking about. A woman should share her trauma with her husband.
She is practically a criminal now. Concealing a rape case should fetch her apt least 7 years in jail.

I’m getting a gun the day I’d have a daughter.
I don’t mind wiping out entire families.

OP, my own advice is that locking up ur wife is not the next step, but the prophetess she rely on was the most stupid woman on earth, she was the one that supposed to call u and ur wife and explained the matter and helped u to settle d issue. But she was the one that was broadcasting the news, but pls bail ur wife and settled d issue she doesn't deserve to be locked up. Like u said earlier, she was a good wife and u don't need to divorce her.

CLATHRIN:
People are not robots, human beings have emotions including fear, fury, despair etc because of the experiences they have gone through in life. You don't even know the context of their relationship, you don't even know if this guy is the bread winner of this lady's immediate family and if she fears she might lose him. You don't even know how old she was before she got married (oh, this might have a huge effect on how she treats grave issues like this, some have hidden their children born out of wedlock from their spouses), you don't even know if she's afraid she might never get another husband, deep down in her heart, something snapped and she made a choice. Since we don't know a lot about life and people, we should thread with caution and handle things better. Read his story on another thread here and see him admitting he's got a good wife who was selfless enough to reconcile him with his own immediate family, she didn't sideline them in order to get all the love and perhaps care her husband could give.

Oga there is no context here. She is no longer fit to be his wife. Do you understand that this is worse than adultery?

Please write with paragraphs next time so that it's easier to read your insightful comments.

I'm glad to see another person agreeing with me. I'm sure she didn't tell him because she was scared of him - scared of how he would react. See how he ended up throwing her in jail. Only God knows what else he did to his wife before this incident. It's a toxic marriage and his wife doesn't feel safe with him.

It's sad that most people here cannot understand this. They only see things from their own perspective and refuse to try and understand where the other person is coming from

CLATHRIN:
I am a bit logical about life. Look, there is this term called 'teleology'. There is a teleological reason why things happen and people do what they do. I try the little I can to understand life from that stand point. He steals, why did he start stealing? She sells her body, why is she a prostitute? It helps me understand others when I put myself in their shoes. We don't all know the breadth and length of life, human beings are not robots, the reason why somethings happen might be much more removed from your remotest imaginations. Many people have unresolved deep pains and that goes a long way to determine how they act. Many people here will give you advice(s) based on how deeply hurt they are, they have been jilted by girlfriends and boyfriends, treated badly by others, that will affect how they respond. Some will call for very harsh punitive measures but you know what? The most powerful force in the world is agape love. Even, the stories people read on this platform and online affect how they think and respond. They see how infidelity, wickedness and evil is replete in most stories they come across online, subconsciously their brains are being encoded/wired in a certain way, how youthey choose your response then comes down to how stoic or pervasive you/their minds have become. Some are strong emotionally and will not be easily reconfigured by what they see. Think deep brother, what do you intend to achieve with your actions? How will this be of benefit to you and the society on the long run? You want a wife who's gonna give you the best of herself or that woman who will restrain herself (emotions, love, trust and body)from you and play it with caution? I mean, imagine that woman who would in the midst of some beautiful experience with you caution/remind herself about what/whom she's dealing with. Bro, you ain't dealing with an emotionless being here, you can pretend all you want and feel like she's below you, maybe you are even wealthier and do take care of her and her family, you cannot buy certain things or even force them out in life. Alright, I have said enough.

Glowqueen3:
I will advice you calm down Sir,Even your wife is more hurt than you in this situation but She is only trying her best to be a good mother,good daughter to her parents and still be a good wife to you hence the reason why she could not bring herself to tell you about the ugly incident that happened to her own daughter where her parents stays.
She is just trying to protect the image of her family which she did in the wrong way.l wouldn't advice you to divorce her because she isn't the one that rape your daughter instead you should find that pedophile and have him arrested and totured,if you arrest and divorce her people will still blame you
and you might not be lucky to find a good woman like her again.l will leave you with this Yoruba proverb that says "ori bibe ko no ogun Ori fifo" Cutting the head is not the solution to the headache.it is well.

Very nonesense advice from you. Who knows if her brother raped the little girl more than once.

co787:
My wife and daughter traveled to her village in August for 3weeks and they were supposed to be back before the school resumption but she changed her mind saying her mother was seriously ill that she has to extend her stay which was fine by me and when they returned back I noticed that she has lost so much weight which I asked her why she said it was due to the stress of caring for her sick mother which is normal.

She is her only daughter and oldest of 4 her younger ones are boys so they cannot take care of their mother better than her. Here is the reason I got her arrested, during her stay in the village, her 14 years old brother raped my daughter. This is one of the reason she overstayed in the village. She didn't tell me anything about my daughter being raped she and her mother had decided to give her treatment and cover the idiot that repeatedly raped her and when she came bck she didn't say anything to me but she confided in her prophetess which in her turn has started spreading news until it came to my ears that my own daughter was raped and her own mother has kept quiet and I can imagine if it was a member of my family that did the abominable acts the whole world would have heard it and she would have done everything in her power to put in prison.

But because it is her own brother, she has decided to keep quiet and not knowing the world is small and not secret is hidden forever. I took my daughter to the hospital the result has confirmed she was tampered i was devasted she has been the best wife to me and she has helped me and my sisters to reconciled in the past but what she has done to me it is unforgivable and I have arrested her and when I bail her I will divorce her and take custody of my daughter.

I don't know if I need advice or not but your input and suggestion are welcome I will be reading all your comments.

Your wife's only fault here is that she did not tell you about it. Otherwise, she's not to blame. I believe she felt 'worse' than the 'bad' you re feeling. She doesn't even know what to do (since it involved her blood).
Moreover you should have arrested the rapist not her. Think of the fact that you're not the only one pained in this case, she's also in it (the victim is her daughter also after all).

My advice is, arrest that her brother instead.

Klass99:
At the bolded, I am not one of those zombies who believe blood is thicker than water and family is everything. That adage is the sort of mindless bullshit that irritates my soul to no end and gives rise to situations like these.

I am not interested in having kids of my own, but there are two categories of people I don't joke with or mess with in my life, that is young children and aged folks from 60 years and above. In my mind these are a vulnerable set of people who need help, protection and care the most.

From my village I would have called my husband to please come down and help me deal with my younger brother and possibly have him arrested. I would not have even let my people know hubby is on his way until he arrives to specifically deal with my brother. I hate nonsense and stupidity, it doesn't matter if it's coming from blood relatives, it will not be tolerated or endured.

I am not just saying this for talking sake, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh and every individual is wired differently with a mind and mindset of their own.

You are not interested in having kids of your own? You lack love or what?

SocialJustice:
You can't correct without being abusive? Typical. Common sense couldn't tell you that was a mistake of omission. That the girl is even 2 is more reason this matter should die without further chaos. Let him tell the world that his daughter was raped. The world will remember and taunt her with it until she leaves this earth.

You're an idiot, a big one at that.

co787:
My wife and daughter traveled to her village in August for 3weeks and they were supposed to be back before the school resumption but she changed her mind saying her mother was seriously ill that she has to extend her stay which was fine by me and when they returned back I noticed that she has lost so much weight which I asked her why she said it was due to the stress of caring for her sick mother which is normal.

She is her only daughter and oldest of 4 her younger ones are boys so they cannot take care of their mother better than her. Here is the reason I got her arrested, during her stay in the village, her 14 years old brother raped my daughter. This is one of the reason she overstayed in the village. She didn't tell me anything about my daughter being raped she and her mother had decided to give her treatment and cover the idiot that repeatedly raped her and when she came bck she didn't say anything to me but she confided in her prophetess which in her turn has started spreading news until it came to my ears that my own daughter was raped and her own mother has kept quiet and I can imagine if it was a member of my family that did the abominable acts the whole world would have heard it and she would have done everything in her power to put in prison.

But because it is her own brother, she has decided to keep quiet and not knowing the world is small and not secret is hidden forever. I took my daughter to the hospital the result has confirmed she was tampered i was devasted she has been the best wife to me and she has helped me and my sisters to reconciled in the past but what she has done to me it is unforgivable and I have arrested her and when I bail her I will divorce her and take custody of my daughter.

I don't know if I need advice or not but your input and suggestion are welcome I will be reading all your comments.

In as much as you try to hide evil deeds, it will still come to light.

True true. Water don pass Garri.

Please, the did has been done. Your daughter needs counseling first. Go bail your wife. You did state that your wife has been the best so far. Trust me, you do not want to divorce her. These is not about simping. Good woman scarce my G!

Listed below are the actions I believe you should take;

1. Bail your wife.

2. Look for a good counselor for your daughter.

3. If your house is rented, pls Change environment. Change from where that prophetess would be seeing you guys to spread it more. Trust me, you do not want your daughter to grow up with the stigma.

4. Please, with time forgive your wife. She ought not have hidden the whole thing but it is what it is.

But what do I know?

SocialJustice:
Na so so unforgivable sin una dey see. Children that can't handle themselves have no business getting married or having kids.

Age does not make a person an adult or ready for parenthood.

How do you expect him to handle himself when his 2yr old baby was defiled.

God forbid it happens to me. I would that whole family upside down.

Some of them will go to prison.

And for hiding it from me, I would leave that woman for good.

Kreddy:
This is really frustrating!
in my own naive opinion. Your wife did the right thing by not telling you, but telling the prophetess was the biggest mistake. the matter should have been burried within her family. She knows you might get the boy arrested which might aggravated the whole issues. she wanted to protect her daughter image by not arresting her bro.

Forgive her and don't divorce her over the matter. Both if you are passing through the same thing, the thought that her own blood brother raped her daughter is enough punishment.

She did wrong by not telling her husband.

What this man is saying is this: if it was his own brother that raped his daughter, will his wife cover up the act and not bring shame to the man and his family?
We all know the answer to this

3 months of hard labor is not enough. That boy is mentally sick! How can he rape a 2 year old girl as a 14 year old boy?

They should lock him up forever if not he will do it again. He's not normal.

Anonymoususher:
It hurts but trust me you are not handling it the right way.

Do you think she is happy that her own brother raped her daughter?

She is caught in all these mess. Do you know the amount of tears or pain she would have gone through to conceal it? Or the emotional torture she must be giving herself to cover all these?

On one hand, her mother is there begging and threatening to die if it spirals, on the other hand her daughter is damaged and on the other side she fears the wrath or reaction of her husband.

I am not trying to justify her but what she feared is what you just did...

Arresting her is too much of a punishment. What I'd do is to send her back to her parents house for sometime but will definitely get that boy arrested. Not to keep him there forever but for him to stay there for three months with hard labour so that he realizes the gravity of his crime.

If you love your daughter, you will not destroy her mother because at the end when she grows, she will hate you forever

Handle this issue diplomatically please.

It's a family matter.

Mindlog:
Where is your daughter now and how old is she?

Is your wife still in detention?

What about her mum and the brother who defiled your daughter, have you involved the police to get them arrested?

They should all be arrested and thrown into the prison. What kind of evil family does that. Abomination!

Mindlog:
Where is your daughter now and how old is she?

Is your wife still in detention?

What about her mum and the brother who defiled your daughter, have you involved the police to get them arrested?

Good questions, I am also of the opinion that he should get the brother-in-law arrested.

DaInferno:
Tough one

My questions are thus:
1. Why didn't you arrest the rapist as well?
2. What exactly are you offended at your wife for?

Do you really think it's divorce worthy?!
She isn't the rapist.

@bukatyne needs to see this

He did well by arresting the wife. She is arrested for conspiracy and negligence.. And should be divorced; she is not trust worthy!

SocialJustice:
You can't correct without being abusive? Typical. Common sense couldn't tell you that was a mistake of omission. That the girl is even 2 is more reason this matter should die without further chaos. Let him tell the world that his daughter was raped. The world will remember and taunt her with it until she leaves this earth.

And you call yourself social justice. Shouldn't all perpetrators of this dastardly crime face social justice? Should the 14 year old get away with the serial raping of a 2 year old girl, to be embolden to tape others? Should the heartless mother continue owe more allegiance to her extended family than her nuclear family?

In sane countries the baby would be taken from the woman as she is not fit to be a mother. A caring mother would put the welfare and safety of her baby above all else. She would first report to a doctor for examination and treatment, then to the police to start prosecution. She should informed the husband after taking those steps and suffer the pains and trauma as a family.

I hope the man does not plan on having more babies with her.