co787:
My wife and daughter traveled to her village in August for 3weeks and they were supposed to be back before the school resumption but she changed her mind saying her mother was seriously ill that she has to extend her stay which was fine by me and when they returned back I noticed that she has lost so much weight which I asked her why she said it was due to the stress of caring for her sick mother which is normal.

She is her only daughter and oldest of 4 her younger ones are boys so they cannot take care of their mother better than her. Here is the reason I got her arrested, during her stay in the village, her 14 years old brother raped my daughter. This is one of the reason she overstayed in the village. She didn't tell me anything about my daughter being raped she and her mother had decided to give her treatment and cover the idiot that repeatedly raped her and when she came bck she didn't say anything to me but she confided in her prophetess which in her turn has started spreading news until it came to my ears that my own daughter was raped and her own mother has kept quiet and I can imagine if it was a member of my family that did the abominable acts the whole world would have heard it and she would have done everything in her power to put in prison.

But because it is her own brother, she has decided to keep quiet and not knowing the world is small and not secret is hidden forever. I took my daughter to the hospital the result has confirmed she was tampered i was devasted she has been the best wife to me and she has helped me and my sisters to reconciled in the past but what she has done to me it is unforgivable and I have arrested her and when I bail her I will divorce her and take custody of my daughter.

I don't know if I need advice or not but your input and suggestion are welcome I will be reading all your comments.

You are definitely not seen as a partner by your wife, and I dont blame her she knows you
you are a good partner in time of peace and a terrible one in time of war

This is the time your wife needs your emotional support the most, but you failed her completely

for your mind she doesn't love her daughter right, you are the only one that love your daughter

She grow lean because of this issue, but you arrested her because you feel she was celebrating

see Mr Man go and release your wife, heal yourself, look for how your wife will heal from the trauma and most importantly how the baby will heal

With this foolish tantrum of yours you will damage your little girl life even more

or when people ask her why her parent divorce, what do you want her to say, that she was raped when she was two?

a matter you kid is meant to forget while growing up you want to be remembering her everyday

your daughter will even end up hating you

Wisdom is profitable to direct

Your wife is a very selfish person, as her hubby you are now her primary objective with the child inclusive. This her acts shows she will always choose her family first ahead of you even if threat to life is involve. Deal with her any way you deem fit.
Covering the acts alone is tantamount to aiding the rapist that is why she is guilty, considering we are talking about 2 years old child.
Go ahead and arrest the rapist even though he is a minor, let the law takes it cause.

co787:


She is 2 years old . my wife is still in detention I will bail her next week I haven't arrested him yet because I am in Lagos there are in nnewi I am planning to go there next week along with my wife to arrest him and I will return to Lagos alone she will stay with her people

Two years old! This is really sad.
Don't let her stay back. Like you said, she has lost weight because of the incident. That tells you how this impacted negatively on her physical and mental health. She's going through a lot, she was torn between sibling and daughter.
Please, let her return with you. Divorce or separation is not needed at this time.

NezzyMike:




See person husband? Tufiakwa!

Are you one of the brothers?

Sit her down and give her two options.

Either you keep the marriage and prosecute the evil brother or You divorce her and keep your daughter.

The choice she makes should give your next line of action.

And please, let your daughter see a psychologist. She needs to heal psychologically.

God is your strength.

if you get to see you,
Release your wife as soon as possible.

Get the help your daughter need for the trauma she has gone through emotionally, medically, psychologically.

The last case we handled on this, we had to change the girls environment, if you can do so for her self esteem and to avoid depression tendencies.

for the culprit, you need to handle this with wisdom. Juvenile delinquency centre is an ideal place for him. What is more important now is your daughters recovery and ensuring that your family regains it face.

You may need to relocate to another location and please cut ties with the so cold prophet.

Aguogba:


1. Transfer this anger to the rapist and only display it towards your wife if she tries to plead on his behalf or defend him outrightly.
2. The fact that YOUR DAUGHTER did not even try to confide in you says a lot about your relationship with her. It could be that you made her to see you only as a disciplinarian or mean dad and not a friend as well.
DEAR FELLOW DADS, kindly learn from this.
3. Your daughter needs your love, protection, and mentorship right now. Provide professional counseling if you can afford it as well.
4. Sorry for this sad incident and good luck.

She was only 2 years 1 months when it happened how can she confided in me when she was a baby and still a baby ?

Eurolander:
Sit her down and give her two options.

Either you keep the marriage and prosecute the evil brother or You divorce her and keep your daughter.

The choice she makes should give your next line of action.

And please, let your daughter see a psychologist. She needs to heal psychologically.

God is your strength.

I don't need her approval to prosecute her brother whether she and her mother likes it or not the boy will be prosecute and the divorce will still take place

co787:
My wife and daughter traveled to her village in August for 3weeks and they were supposed to be back before the school resumption but she changed her mind saying her mother was seriously ill that she has to extend her stay which was fine by me and when they returned back I noticed that she has lost so much weight which I asked her why she said it was due to the stress of caring for her sick mother which is normal.

She is her only daughter and oldest of 4 her younger ones are boys so they cannot take care of their mother better than her. Here is the reason I got her arrested, during her stay in the village, her 14 years old brother raped my daughter. This is one of the reason she overstayed in the village. She didn't tell me anything about my daughter being raped she and her mother had decided to give her treatment and cover the idiot that repeatedly raped her and when she came bck she didn't say anything to me but she confided in her prophetess which in her turn has started spreading news until it came to my ears that my own daughter was raped and her own mother has kept quiet and I can imagine if it was a member of my family that did the abominable acts the whole world would have heard it and she would have done everything in her power to put in prison.

But because it is her own brother, she has decided to keep quiet and not knowing the world is small and not secret is hidden forever. I took my daughter to the hospital the result has confirmed she was tampered i was devasted she has been the best wife to me and she has helped me and my sisters to reconciled in the past but what she has done to me it is unforgivable and I have arrested her and when I bail her I will divorce her and take custody of my daughter.

I don't know if I need advice or not but your input and suggestion are welcome I will be reading all your comments.

Your wife's weight loss is due to immense guilty and the anguish of the abominable deed done to your daughter, her daughter. She does feel bad. Divorcing her isn't the answer

The real enemy is that teenage rapist and his mother thats covering him. She spoilt him and thats wht he is that way and others now have to shoulder the burden.

He should be taught the lesson of his life. A lesson so harsh that it would send a message to other rapists in the neighborhood. For him to act so brazenly is a strong indication of how bad things are. There's apparently no retribution ,hence he has become emboldened. (Eccl 8:11). He needs an iron hand.

It's best you do the opposite of covering it up. It's time people learn to bear the consequences of their action.

co787:
My wife and daughter traveled to her village in August for 3weeks and they were supposed to be back before the school resumption but she changed her mind saying her mother was seriously ill that she has to extend her stay which was fine by me and when they returned back I noticed that she has lost so much weight which I asked her why she said it was due to the stress of caring for her sick mother which is normal.

She is her only daughter and oldest of 4 her younger ones are boys so they cannot take care of their mother better than her. Here is the reason I got her arrested, during her stay in the village, her 14 years old brother raped my daughter. This is one of the reason she overstayed in the village. She didn't tell me anything about my daughter being raped she and her mother had decided to give her treatment and cover the idiot that repeatedly raped her and when she came bck she didn't say anything to me but she confided in her prophetess which in her turn has started spreading news until it came to my ears that my own daughter was raped and her own mother has kept quiet and I can imagine if it was a member of my family that did the abominable acts the whole world would have heard it and she would have done everything in her power to put in prison.

But because it is her own brother, she has decided to keep quiet and not knowing the world is small and not secret is hidden forever. I took my daughter to the hospital the result has confirmed she was tampered i was devasted she has been the best wife to me and she has helped me and my sisters to reconciled in the past but what she has done to me it is unforgivable and I have arrested her and when I bail her I will divorce her and take custody of my daughter.

I don't know if I need advice or not but your input and suggestion are welcome I will be reading all your comments.

this is so heart breaking. Please, take it easy. May God heal you, I can't imagine this happen to me or anyone I know but you need to be strong. If it is possible which I know its hard,please forgive her, I am sure, she must have learnt her lesson. You can not take care of that girl alone. Just give her space for now and please forgive her when you heal more. Please be strong

Neddstark:

As you have chosen to take this step, she will never forgive you.

Lol. On top arrest? The wife knows the gravity of the incident.

Better you divorce her and have nothing to do with that sick family.

Divorce is not necessary at this point.

You just talked like your Wife never shared any bitter experience with you before from the way you went arresting and detaining your wife in Lagos State when the real act was done in the Village....

This your daughter you just mentioned , is she not the one that gave birth to her?

Or she is a foster mother to her?

I understand her part in trying to hide the abomination from you, she failed woefully from acting like that, inshort you should have been the first person she should have called and be in total support with you since the child here is from both of you....but Alias the mother confused and convinced her to die the act...

But atimes, we use past characters to know the extent people can go and why they went that far..

Let her just come out from that cell that will rather make her commit suicide once she is out of there plssssssss......

DarkJeddi:
The Corpse of another always seems like a log of wood to the bystander..
See how you opened mouth dey talk..
Obviously,she is not your daughter and he is a child for being mad..
Mr Adult..

And tearing his family to pieces is good? Abeg shift.

Mindlog:


The child need not to be biologically mine, to be that invested!

It wasn't a mistake on your part but your being very comfortable blaming a victim of sexual abuse. Just make sure you don't sexually abuse minors around you because if you get unfortunate to have me as the Clinical child psychologist who is to write the victim's impact assessment report, by the time you come out of prison you will so be out of tune with the world around you.

I was consciously blaming a baby for getting raped? Abeg shift. Go figure your frustrations elsewhere.

Klass99:


At the bolded, I am not one of those zombies who believe blood is thicker than water and family is everything. That adage is the sort of mindless bullshit that irritates my soul to no end and gives rise to situations like these.

I am not interested in having kids of my own, but there are two categories of people I don't joke with or mess with in my life, that is young children and aged folks from 60 years and above. In my mind these are a vulnerable set of people who need help, protection and care the most.

From my village I would have called my husband to please come down and help me deal with my younger brother and possibly have him arrested. I would not have even let my people know hubby is on his way until he arrives to specifically deal with my brother. I hate nonsense and stupidity, it doesn't matter if it's coming from blood relatives, it will not be tolerated or endured.

I am not just saying this for talking sake, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh and every individual is wired differently with a mind and mindset of their own.

you are exactly my kind of person, I detest any ill treatment against children. What is your horoscope to know if it's part of our personalities

na catholic church priest you mention without putting bros
majority of us were catholic bor but as we enter lagos or open cities ,we don join redeem and co

BRATISLAVA:


Why do we have Catholic priests for confession?

I would divorce a spouse who tries to hide such a traumatic abuse on my child too. The r.apist should rot in jail.

mens83:
If your story is true, on what ground do you want to divorce her?
What evil did she do that is unforgivable according to you?
Yes she might not have told you but that does not mean she is bad wife. The trauma and shock is enough to emotionally damage her. She may have wanted to deal with it as family matter.
Now you know apply wisdom not locking her up and seeking divorce.
Mind you any woman you marry will never cherish and protect that your daughter if not worsen her case.
You said she lost weight. Now read in between lines and see that the rape issue was the reason. Don't add more fuel to the fire.
You can deal with the boy but be careful and mindful of more emotional trauma upon your wife.
That heart though and forge ahead with life.

When I read your comment , I just knew u can do the same thing the boy and his wife did ,how would he B a wife keep such a sensitive matter from her husband ? The father of the child ? And u are here talking foolish , u also need to be arrested oh . Why would she hide it ? That’s a very big deal and should be taken seriously , I had similar experience and I can tell what this man went through and still going through , it’s heart breaking , irritating seeing such act coming from her family and a cover up , the mother should also answer to it

Mindlog:


A Clinical Child Psychologist (my specialty) will offer the toddler Cognitive-behavioral play therapy. Through the CBPT, the toddlet would be offered play therapy sessions that would be geared in such a way that would help the child reveal (not talk) the sexual abuse and express emotions. It is also through such engagement with a child by the trained professional that one can easily identify children who are at high risk of being sexually abused.

What you are suggesting is experimental at best for a 2 yr old. There's no guarantee in it working at all. From 4 years is a much realistic age to work with.

mens83:
If your story is true, on what ground do you want to divorce her?
What evil did she do that is unforgivable according to you?
Yes she might not have told you but that does not mean she is bad wife. The trauma and shock is enough to emotionally damage her. She may have wanted to deal with it as family matter.
Now you know apply wisdom not locking her up and seeking divorce.
Mind you any woman you marry will never cherish and protect that your daughter if not worsen her case.
You said she lost weight. Now read in between lines and see that the rape issue was the reason. Don't add more fuel to the fire.
You can deal with the boy but be careful and mindful of more emotional trauma upon your wife.
That heart though and forge ahead with life.

The wife should have informed him instead of an outsider... Imagine how the man would have felt getting the info from outside

Iswear get the village youth,tye am for stick, buy water wey he go dey drink, beat Jupiter out of his Neptune

Promotions:
this case weak me, I can't just imagine the rapist sef is 14 and your kid 2.. na to beat the life out of that boy cos I doubt he can be jailed due to his age

wirinet:


That her 2 year old daughter was raped and she did not report to her husband and the police is a crime under any jurisdiction in the world. The act of covering up a crime means she is an accessory after the crime.

Well you are right but detaining someone for days without court order is violation of the persons right. To avoid this he should take the wife to court instead else if the wife takes it up with him he won’t be having a good day about it trust me

U over-react,if it is ur bro that raped ur daughter are u going to arrest urself?
With this ur reaction I can't blame ur wife cos if the told u, u would behead her. Her only fault is she told a stranger while keeping it away from u.
I can assure u that no matter how painful this case is to u,she is passing through a more severe pain. Infact her own is trauma. My bro u arrested the wrong person and add to her pain.
On the issue of divorce,I don't know ur compatibility b4 this case but if she is the type u can give like 65 and above mark pls don't allow that nonoentity to separate u. Though this is a very complicated family issue but ur strength as a man is put to test here.
My advise for u is to keep it wife if and only if she is good.
Don't allow ur daughter to move an inch close to her family again and that boy should stay far away from ur home. Her other siblings can later be welcome but there should be a room for them to sleep no matter the condition.
Her mum,u can't stop her from coming to ur house but she should stay away from ur sight till the tension is doused.
Please go and bail ur wife

Klass99:


At the bolded, I am not one of those zombies who believe blood is thicker than water and family is everything. That adage is the sort of mindless bullshit that irritates my soul to no end and gives rise to situations like these.

I am not interested in having kids of my own, but there are two categories of people I don't joke with or mess with in my life, that is young children and aged folks from 60 years and above. In my mind these are a vulnerable set of people who need help, protection and care the most.

From my village I would have called my husband to please come down and help me deal with my younger brother and possibly have him arrested. I would not have even let my people know hubby is on his way until he arrives to specifically deal with my brother. I hate nonsense and stupidity, it doesn't matter if it's coming from blood relatives, it will not be tolerated or endured.

I am not just saying this for talking sake, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh and every individual is wired differently with a mind and mindset of their own.

I don't know family when it comes to bad things... Nothing like na my brother for my dictionary... Man is man... All this blood is thicker amd family is everything na pain dey end am... The wife messed up there... Not telling the husband... What the boy did na big rubbish... He needs to be punished well well

co787:


She is 2 years old my wife is still in detention I will bail her next week I haven't arrested him yet because I am in Lagos there are in nnewi I am planning to go there next week along with my wife to arrest him and I will return to Lagos alone she will stay with her people

arresting and detaining your wife is not a wise move bro. It Seems you are determined to destroy your marriage completely, and that won't even stop the stigma already attached to the little girl, The news is spread everywhere.

Solution is what is needed. The rapist should be the one you should unleash your anger to and have a family dialogue.

jimmychang:



Why is she married to him of he cannot tell him what happened to his own daughter.Are you okay upstairs?

Who cares if she lost weight.If she was reasonable she would have told the husband herself.What if she successfully hid it and later got to know ten years after.What is she planning to gain.This kind of woman can sell her family just to protect her stupid brother.She can kill the husband too.She is fucking wicked.Her own daughter.I will beat shit out him and report him to the husband.

Exactly

wirinet:


And you call yourself social justice. Shouldn't all perpetrators of this dastardly crime face social justice? Should the 14 year old get away with the serial raping of a 2 year old girl, to be embolden to tape others? Should the heartless mother continue owe more allegiance to her extended family than her nuclear family?

In sane countries the baby would be taken from the woman as she is not fit to be a mother. A caring mother would put the welfare and safety of her baby above all else. She would first report to a doctor for examination and treatment, then to the police to start prosecution. She should informed the husband after taking those steps and suffer the pains and trauma as a family.

I hope the man does not plan on having more babies with her.

What did I say the very first time. None of this will happen if mindful parents had that baby. Most kids these days get married just for the sake of marriage and title. They are not ready for family life or the responsibilities.

Carelessness has resulted in their baby being defiled, some others were less fortunate and lost their baby all together. I understand the pain and frustrations of the op but this mindless fire he has set will burn everyone including him.

What case does he even have against his wife? Criminal negligence? Even the 14 year old male does not have a case to answer as he's not up to age. He may not even fully understand the consequences of his action.

It won't be long before police makes op see bringing them into the matter was a bad decision. I trust Nigerian police force. They will eat his money well until he sees there's no case.

This whole thing was an unfortunate mistake, or was his wife giving their baby to rape intentionally? I wish him the best sha but nothing meaningful will come from this.

If he's fed up with his wife and in laws, let him divorce and go his way.

spartachico:
na catholic church priest you mention without putting bros
majority of us were catholic bor but as we enter lagos or open cities ,we don join redeem and co

But you can see why the wife would go to a prophetess for help. It's a common thing for christians, Catholics and other Orthodox religions to seek forgiveness through leaders. Especially knowing her husband's temperament.

Human being and hypocrite are 5&6,
If you as my wife the mother of my supposed child can't tell me your family member disvargin and molested my 2yrs old daughter then the wife is a devil, a devil I should run away from.
I see so many of y'all saying he did bad by locking the woman up hmmmmmm, pray this man should not go to court cuz both the mother, the teenager and the wife will end up in prison.
Did yall know for the fact that she came back and refuse to divulge the information to her husband is enough for the husband to chase a divorce in a court of law, and be rest assured he will get his divorce without hassle.
How on earth would she keep that important thing to herself, and all of you saying she is sorry and feeling guilty that's why she didn't tell the man are bunch of fools. Did she impregnated herself, or if it where to be from the father's side will heaven not have fallen

Op, I understand ur pain but believe me arresting her alone won't solve this issue, the trust in your marriage has been broken immediately she came back and decided not to tell u anything. Go to that village, arrest the mother and the boy.....there is a juvenile correctional facility for teenagers. And after everything if you feel like you can still forgive your wife and trust her again fine but just know, that family and you can't trust each other again and this bad blood won't clear soon.
After this issue I'm sure there is no way you will allow your daughter back in that village again and pls give your daughter the best treatment...I just feel sooo weak. co787 God will heal you sir.

bro im a married man with kids,and i do talk with my wife to never bring people into our personal affairs no matter how bad it is and she kept to it and even when my son got injured at her place of business it only took couple of hours to inform me after getting him treated at the healthcare center , the matter na issue between husband and wife ,if wife too dey fear husband and cant confide in her husband ,then church, and friends and prophet are the next people they confide in and forgetting this prophets are also human being

BRATISLAVA:


But you can see why the wife would go to a prophetess for help. It's a common thing for christians, Catholics and other Orthodox religions to seek forgiveness through leaders. Especially knowing her husband's temperament.

Number 2 sound funny and stupid. Asking why he's offended.... Someone am married to kept such secrets from me... The hardest part was, her brother raped her daughter meaning she likes her brother than her own daughter for her not to confide with her husband. The wife and the rapists should rot in jail

DaInferno:
Tough one

My questions are thus:
1. Why didn't you arrest the rapist as well?
2. What exactly are you offended at your wife for?

Do you really think it's divorce worthy?!
She isn't the rapist.

@bukatyne needs to see this

gbam

SocialJustice:
What did I say the very first time. None of this will happen if mindful parents had that baby. Most kids these days get married just for the sake of marriage and title. They are not ready for family life or the responsibilities.

Carelessness has resulted in their baby being defiled, some others were less fortunate and lost their baby all together. I understand the pain and frustrations of the op but this mindless fire he has set will burn everyone including him.

What case does he even have against his wife? Criminal negligence? Even the 14 year old male does not have a case to answer as he's not up to age. He may not even fully understand the consequences of his action.

It won't be long before police makes op see bringing them into the matter was a bad decision. I trust Nigerian police force. They will eat his money well until he sees there's no case.

This whole thing was an unfortunate mistake, or was his wife giving their baby to rape intentionally? I wish him the best sha but nothing meaningful will come from this.

If he's fed up with his wife and in laws, let him divorce and go his way.