₦airaland Forum

ahhh

you sound as if you are afraid of this guy

Are you sure he has nothing over you/ your conscience? i am not understanding ooo

Anyway, na u wear shoe....

babajeje123:
Thanks all for your words. I've spoken to him and gave him till next week Friday or Saturday. He said he hasn't seen the one he likes that is affordable, the ones he like are expensive etc. I sha told him that I want us to get a house for him by next week Friday, latest Saturday.

Hello house,

Got NSF to provide evidence of care arrangements for 15 and 17 years old same gender dependants.

Traveling alone with them ...single parent

Please what documents can we provide as evidence

Urgent response required pls. Kindly advise. Thank you and thank you

Chinlov:
ahhh

you sound as if you are afraid of this guy

Are you sure he has nothing over you/ your conscience? i am not understanding ooo

Anyway, na u wear shoe....

I doubt he has anything on him. babajeje123 just sounds like someone who is scared of confrontation. I get really nervous when I have to confront people so I get where he’s coming from.

Chinlov:
ahhh

you sound as if you are afraid of this guy

Are you sure he has nothing over you/ your conscience? i am not understanding ooo

Anyway, na u wear shoe....

Lol, I'm not afraid of him and has absolutely nothing on me. I can be very understanding with people and tolerate their excesses. He lives on Friday.

babajeje123:
Lol, I'm not afraid of him and has absolutely nothing on me. I can be very understanding with people and tolerate their excesses. He lives on Friday.

Just look after your kids man.....

Also make sure you have the latest agreement in text form, not just verbal. If na verbal talk, send am text and say "as discussed bla bla bla"

Chinlov:
ahhh

you sound as if you are afraid of this guy

Are you sure he has nothing over you/ your conscience? i am not understanding ooo

Anyway, na u wear shoe....

Honestly I'm beginning to think along this line. For someone to sacrifice his marriage just to look nice because nobody knows tomorrow. I don't want to imagine the trauma this will cause the wife knowing that the husband will pick a friend over her again.

babajeje123:
Advise needed please.
Now I am begining to understand why most Nigerians here don't want to accomodate newcomers who are Nigerians. I accommodated a guy who is becoming difficult for me to handle just because I don't like wahala. We lived in the same house in Nigeria and during those period we were never friends. We only exchanged greetings sometimes as he was very rude and proud. So when he got to know that I left Naija with my family, he became a 'friend', called me one day and asked for what he needed to do to come to the UK. I explained all I did without any reservations and advised him on what he needed to do. He applied to a University and a week to his resumption, he had not gotten his CAS. He was worried as he had sent so many emails and made calls to the Uni without a single reply, so I went to the Uni to ask for the reason for the delay as there was also no update on his application portal. The lady I spoke to was not going to converse with me but after some pressure, she spoke and from our conversation, it didn't appear he was going to get the CAS. I remembered a friend who is an Agent of the Uni and spoke to him, sent his details and the following day he got his CAS. No penny was collected. I guided him on how to apply for his visa which he got. Prior to him getting his visa, he was asked from the Home Office to forward additional documents like payslip etc and he was afraid of what to do. I connected him to a friend who had the same experience and that one guided him on additional docs he could send and eventually he got his visa. He spoke to me about accomodation and I told him he could put up with my family and when he is settled, he can start looking for one. While he was coming we asked him to help us bring food stuff which we were going to ask someone to buy and give to him and he told me point blank that he like doesn't travel with luggages. I was taken aback. So i needed to beg him and explained to him that he would not carry any load till he get to Newcastle his final destination and I promised to come and pick him at the airport. He agreed however he didn't come with any of the foodstuff except for my wife's laptop that someone took to meet him at the airport in Nigeria. His reason was that the payment system of the airline he used was not working and so there was no way to pay for additional luggage. My wife begged him to at least picked some dry fish but he insisted that he had his luggages to carry. So we cargoed our foodstuff. Because of that, my wife and her family insisted that I must not go and pick him at the airport which I agreed initially but later went to pick him. When I looked at the hours of layover he had at Doha and Heathrow and considering the fact that he would arrive Newcastle at 10:30pm, I went to pick him without my wife's consent though I explained to her sister when I took the kid to her house. Wify was on a night shift luckily that day. On my way to the airport, I called to let him know I was on my way when he had not even left Heathrow but when I got there my phone dropped and the screen shattered when I went to use the toilet. I can't receive any calls or make any. As a village boy I am, I stood at the international wing of the airport instad of the domestic wing. He arrived, was calling but I couldn't pick. Eventually we met after hours and the first thing he did was to attack me. 'I have been calling and waiting in the cold since, all those we came together have gone and I am the only one left. If I knew where I was going, I would have left since', he raged. I was going to retort but smiled and explained everything to him. Helped him with his luggages to where I parked and paid £25 for parking.

My wife wasn't happy with his stay and she showed it. It was like a pay-back moment for all the guy's behaviours to her in Naija but I would not have any of that. I ensured that they guy sit with us, eat with us, go to church with us, gave him numbers to call for jobs etc. When I felt my wife was taking things to far as she reported me to my mum that I hosted a stranger in this UK economy where things are expensive and my mum also started mounting pressure, I reported her to her sister too. I told her sister that I was not going to ask the guy to leave until he gets a job and I won't join my wife in not relating well to the guy. This became an issue between us which we later settled. I convinced her to forget the past as this should even be a lesson to us that we should always treat people well as you don't know where you will meet them again or when you will need their help. The guy started working and everybody was happy. One day wife raised a point that the guy was suppossed to buy even if it's ordinary bottle of milk and I quickly trashed that conversation. One day I wanted to get the rug cleaner in his room and I saw cans of drinks, cartons of McDonalds under his bed with groceries. He had gone to work / or class that day. To be candid, I felt somehow and spoke to my wife about what I found. At that point, I began to remeber all the guy's attitudes and they started getting to me. I remembered a day we wanted to go out without the kids and I asked if the kids could stay at home with him, he said no that he was going to have online lecture. Since then we always take them to a friend's place or wify sister's if we feel they shouldn't follow us even if he is at home. I remebered how he never for once asked if I had fixed my phone's screen or not, I remebered how he never asked if we have received the foodstuff he was to bring but we needed to cargo. I remebered how we, 4 of us are sleeping in one room, wife and the kids just for him to have his privacy. I remebered how our bills, water, electricity and gas had increased since he came and to God who made me, I never bothered about any of these for once. I felt someone is using me and I concluded to tell him to look for accommodation but I won't change my attitude to him. So I asked him about his search for accomodation and he said he was thinking about raising his school fees balance and that would take a while since he can only work for 20hrs in a week. I told him that he should look for the ones that are cheaper and since holidays are here, he can work full time to raise his balance. Besides, we are 4 sleeping in a room and it is not convenient for us. His body language confirmed he was not ready to leave so I started helping him to look for a shared apartment. I got one via a church member and he went there for inspection though he didn't want to go initially. His reason was that he was having an online lecture at the time they asked him to come which he must received at home. I spoke to the person and they said he could come at any time since they would be at home throughout the day. When I told the guy, he said he can't still go because of some group discussion he would have after the lecture bla bla bla. At that point, I told him that he needed to go because we are 4 in the room and it is not convenient for us. He went only for him to come back and tell me that he doesn't like this house. He said the house is close to his Uni but he just doesn't like it and that I shouldn't worry, he would leave by this weekend. 'No wahala', I said and since then he has been giving me attitude. He came back from work on Thursday morning, I opened the door, greeted him and he didn't answer. All along, he stays in his room and when food is ready, I would be the one to go and call him and he comes out immediately. But since Wednesday, when I go to call him for food, he won't come out until after 20 - 25 minutes. So this afternoon before I went to pick one of the kids from school, I called him to come and eat but he didn't answer. When I returned, I still met the food untouched. I wanted to call him again but I decided to face my project that is frustrating my life and then he came out to eat. He started saying a lot of things about him getting accommoation that I was not listening to. But the last thing he said made me to decide to put this here. I heard him said, 'I will leave when I get a good accommodation'. I just said okay, he ate his food and left for his room.

Please I need advise to handle this maturedly. Since he came none of his people called to say 'thank you' not even his girlfriend that we know. But I don't care at all as all I want is for him to leave as I don't want to continue to sacrifice the comfort of my family to someone who is unappreciative.

see eh, there's a thing line between benevolence and stupidity. You already crossed the line. I couldn't finish what you wrote without wanting to beat you

michlins:
see eh, there's a thing line between benevolence and stupidity. You already crossed the line. I couldn't finish what you wrote without wanting to beat you

go and beat him na.. well done!

babajeje123:
Advise needed please.
Now I am begining to understand why most Nigerians here don't want to accomodate newcomers who are Nigerians. I accommodated a guy who is becoming difficult for me to handle just because I don't like wahala. We lived in the same house in Nigeria and during those period we were never friends.

This story strong!!! This guy needs to go, but more importantly you have to be very vigilant for the safety of your family between now and when this fellow leaves.
I hope some renters or lodgers rights won’t be an issue here though.
Don’t let this situation stop your being kind sha, God no go let your good work against you.

Am telling you

michlins:
see eh, there's a thing line between benevolence and stupidity. You already crossed the line. I couldn't finish what you wrote without wanting to beat you

babajeje123:
Advise needed please.
I accommodated a guy who is becoming difficult for me to handle just because I don't like wahala.

Truly na babajeje you be! Your kindness will not go unrewarded.

Pls do not accept any money/gift in cash or kind so he is not considered a de facto lodger/tenant.

Also let the gf know of the ultimatum (in writing as someone said). No need to justify your decision. Just calmly state that he has x days/weeks notice. You may give him till after Christmas if you are feeling particularly generous.

Pls do not leave the children with him even if he offers. Nor your house keys.

As someone else said, he is an adult and would have found a way without you. You have been a part of his journey and have "over tried" for him.

When the dust settles, apologise to mamajeje and decide together about your UNITED position on house guests.

All the best!

You don try sha. Na people that guy you will lend money to and he will insult you die before paying back. May God never let us meet people like him in our lives.

I read many of the suggestions given and they are top notch. Don't feel guilty tripped that you are sinning by evicting him or not helping a brother in need, you don try inside this Sunak UK. The guy for all you know is giving some small geh in his class pounds or spending sinzu at Greggs close to his school. Omo evict that guy this night without delay. Let his balls freeze in this winter jooooooor. No dulling.

babajeje123:
Advise needed please.
Now I am begining to understand why most Nigerians here don't want to accomodate newcomers who are Nigerians. I accommodated a guy who is becoming difficult for me to handle just because I don't like wahala. We lived in the same house in Nigeria and during those period we were never friends. We only exchanged greetings sometimes as he was very rude and proud. So when he got to know that I left Naija with my family, he became a 'friend', called me one day and asked for what he needed to do to come to the UK. I explained all I did without any reservations and advised him on what he needed to do. He applied to a University and a week to his resumption, he had not gotten his CAS. He was worried as he had sent so many emails and made calls to the Uni without a single reply, so I went to the Uni to ask for the reason for the delay as there was also no update on his application portal. The lady I spoke to was not going to converse with me but after some pressure, she spoke and from our conversation, it didn't appear he was going to get the CAS. I remembered a friend who is an Agent of the Uni and spoke to him, sent his details and the following day he got his CAS. No penny was collected. I guided him on how to apply for his visa which he got. Prior to him getting his visa, he was asked from the Home Office to forward additional documents like payslip etc and he was afraid of what to do. I connected him to a friend who had the same experience and that one guided him on additional docs he could send and eventually he got his visa. He spoke to me about accomodation and I told him he could put up with my family and when he is settled, he can start looking for one. While he was coming we asked him to help us bring food stuff which we were going to ask someone to buy and give to him and he told me point blank that he like doesn't travel with luggages. I was taken aback. So i needed to beg him and explained to him that he would not carry any load till he get to Newcastle his final destination and I promised to come and pick him at the airport. He agreed however he didn't come with any of the foodstuff except for my wife's laptop that someone took to meet him at the airport in Nigeria. His reason was that the payment system of the airline he used was not working and so there was no way to pay for additional luggage. My wife begged him to at least picked some dry fish but he insisted that he had his luggages to carry. So we cargoed our foodstuff. Because of that, my wife and her family insisted that I must not go and pick him at the airport which I agreed initially but later went to pick him. When I looked at the hours of layover he had at Doha and Heathrow and considering the fact that he would arrive Newcastle at 10:30pm, I went to pick him without my wife's consent though I explained to her sister when I took the kid to her house. Wify was on a night shift luckily that day. On my way to the airport, I called to let him know I was on my way when he had not even left Heathrow but when I got there my phone dropped and the screen shattered when I went to use the toilet. I can't receive any calls or make any. As a village boy I am, I stood at the international wing of the airport instad of the domestic wing. He arrived, was calling but I couldn't pick. Eventually we met after hours and the first thing he did was to attack me. 'I have been calling and waiting in the cold since, all those we came together have gone and I am the only one left. If I knew where I was going, I would have left since', he raged. I was going to retort but smiled and explained everything to him. Helped him with his luggages to where I parked and paid £25 for parking.

My wife wasn't happy with his stay and she showed it. It was like a pay-back moment for all the guy's behaviours to her in Naija but I would not have any of that. I ensured that they guy sit with us, eat with us, go to church with us, gave him numbers to call for jobs etc. When I felt my wife was taking things to far as she reported me to my mum that I hosted a stranger in this UK economy where things are expensive and my mum also started mounting pressure, I reported her to her sister too. I told her sister that I was not going to ask the guy to leave until he gets a job and I won't join my wife in not relating well to the guy. This became an issue between us which we later settled. I convinced her to forget the past as this should even be a lesson to us that we should always treat people well as you don't know where you will meet them again or when you will need their help. The guy started working and everybody was happy. One day wife raised a point that the guy was suppossed to buy even if it's ordinary bottle of milk and I quickly trashed that conversation. One day I wanted to get the rug cleaner in his room and I saw cans of drinks, cartons of McDonalds under his bed with groceries. He had gone to work / or class that day. To be candid, I felt somehow and spoke to my wife about what I found. At that point, I began to remeber all the guy's attitudes and they started getting to me. I remembered a day we wanted to go out without the kids and I asked if the kids could stay at home with him, he said no that he was going to have online lecture. Since then we always take them to a friend's place or wify sister's if we feel they shouldn't follow us even if he is at home. I remebered how he never for once asked if I had fixed my phone's screen or not, I remebered how he never asked if we have received the foodstuff he was to bring but we needed to cargo. I remebered how we, 4 of us are sleeping in one room, wife and the kids just for him to have his privacy. I remebered how our bills, water, electricity and gas had increased since he came and to God who made me, I never bothered about any of these for once. I felt someone is using me and I concluded to tell him to look for accommodation but I won't change my attitude to him. So I asked him about his search for accomodation and he said he was thinking about raising his school fees balance and that would take a while since he can only work for 20hrs in a week. I told him that he should look for the ones that are cheaper and since holidays are here, he can work full time to raise his balance. Besides, we are 4 sleeping in a room and it is not convenient for us. His body language confirmed he was not ready to leave so I started helping him to look for a shared apartment. I got one via a church member and he went there for inspection though he didn't want to go initially. His reason was that he was having an online lecture at the time they asked him to come which he must received at home. I spoke to the person and they said he could come at any time since they would be at home throughout the day. When I told the guy, he said he can't still go because of some group discussion he would have after the lecture bla bla bla. At that point, I told him that he needed to go because we are 4 in the room and it is not convenient for us. He went only for him to come back and tell me that he doesn't like this house. He said the house is close to his Uni but he just doesn't like it and that I shouldn't worry, he would leave by this weekend. 'No wahala', I said and since then he has been giving me attitude. He came back from work on Thursday morning, I opened the door, greeted him and he didn't answer. All along, he stays in his room and when food is ready, I would be the one to go and call him and he comes out immediately. But since Wednesday, when I go to call him for food, he won't come out until after 20 - 25 minutes. So this afternoon before I went to pick one of the kids from school, I called him to come and eat but he didn't answer. When I returned, I still met the food untouched. I wanted to call him again but I decided to face my project that is frustrating my life and then he came out to eat. He started saying a lot of things about him getting accommoation that I was not listening to. But the last thing he said made me to decide to put this here. I heard him said, 'I will leave when I get a good accommodation'. I just said okay, he ate his food and left for his room.

Please I need advise to handle this maturedly. Since he came none of his people called to say 'thank you' not even his girlfriend that we know. But I don't care at all as all I want is for him to leave as I don't want to continue to sacrifice the comfort of my family to someone who is unappreciative.

Guy stop being a Mr nice guy and stand your ground , keep being a nice guy and don’t want to hurt anybody, people will ride you! You have a Mr nice guy personality, not wanting to offend anyone. I suggest you read “No More Mr Nice Guy”
I was once like that in university , before I Gbera!

babajeje123:
Advise needed please.
Now I am begining to understand why most Nigerians here don't want to accomodate newcomers who are Nigerians. I accommodated a guy who is becoming difficult for me to handle just because I don't like wahala. We lived in the sament to continue to sacrifice the comfort of my family to someone who is unappreciative.

Personally, I do not and will not accommodate anyone in my house except my blood and my blood that's only my siblings.and they can't just live there, they have specific time frame to hit the door.

A good friend was "visiting" and needed a place to stay to cut cost on vacation, na my man ooo... he said na only 1 week

Yehn yehn... who are we kidding

I told him him, nah, man is doing some renovation in the house, i cant accommodate him and just kukuma squeeze nyash and paid for his hotel for 1 week..

Bono is still here in this country and thus happened 5 years ago..

E do tey wey nyash dey back....

Mrs. Wasn't happy I spent all that money for hotel for the guy but for me.. I think it was a necessary expenses... sometimes people become a handful, you give them a hand and they want your leg.

babajeje123:
Advise needed please.
Now I am begining to understand why most Nigerians here don't want to accomodate newcomers who are Nigerians. I accommodated a guy who is becoming difficult for me to handle just because I don't like wahala. We lived in the same house in Nigeria and during those period we were never friends. We only exchanged greetings sometimes as he was very rude and proud. So when he got to know that I left Naija with my family, he became a 'friend', called me one day and asked for what he needed to do to come to the UK. I explained all I did without any reservations and advised him on what he needed to do. He applied to a University and a week to his resumption, he had not gotten his CAS. He was worried as he had sent so many emails and made calls to the Uni without a single reply, so I went to the Uni to ask for the reason for the delay as there was also no update on his application portal. The lady I spoke to was not going to converse with me but after some pressure, she spoke and from our conversation, it didn't appear he was going to get the CAS. I remembered a friend who is an Agent of the Uni and spoke to him, sent his details and the following day he got his CAS. No penny was collected. I guided him on how to apply for his visa which he got. Prior to him getting his visa, he was asked from the Home Office to forward additional documents like payslip etc and he was afraid of what to do. I connected him to a friend who had the same experience and that one guided him on additional docs he could send and eventually he got his visa. He spoke to me about accomodation and I told him he could put up with my family and when he is settled, he can start looking for one. While he was coming we asked him to help us bring food stuff which we were going to ask someone to buy and give to him and he told me point blank that he like doesn't travel with luggages. I was taken aback. So i needed to beg him and explained to him that he would not carry any load till he get to Newcastle his final destination and I promised to come and pick him at the airport. He agreed however he didn't come with any of the foodstuff except for my wife's laptop that someone took to meet him at the airport in Nigeria. His reason was that the payment system of the airline he used was not working and so there was no way to pay for additional luggage. My wife begged him to at least picked some dry fish but he insisted that he had his luggages to carry. So we cargoed our foodstuff. Because of that, my wife and her family insisted that I must not go and pick him at the airport which I agreed initially but later went to pick him. When I looked at the hours of layover he had at Doha and Heathrow and considering the fact that he would arrive Newcastle at 10:30pm, I went to pick him without my wife's consent though I explained to her sister when I took the kid to her house. Wify was on a night shift luckily that day. On my way to the airport, I called to let him know I was on my way when he had not even left Heathrow but when I got there my phone dropped and the screen shattered when I went to use the toilet. I can't receive any calls or make any. As a village boy I am, I stood at the international wing of the airport instad of the domestic wing. He arrived, was calling but I couldn't pick. Eventually we met after hours and the first thing he did was to attack me. 'I have been calling and waiting in the cold since, all those we came together have gone and I am the only one left. If I knew where I was going, I would have left since', he raged. I was going to retort but smiled and explained everything to him. Helped him with his luggages to where I parked and paid £25 for parking.

My wife wasn't happy with his stay and she showed it. It was like a pay-back moment for all the guy's behaviours to her in Naija but I would not have any of that. I ensured that they guy sit with us, eat with us, go to church with us, gave him numbers to call for jobs etc. When I felt my wife was taking things to far as she reported me to my mum that I hosted a stranger in this UK economy where things are expensive and my mum also started mounting pressure, I reported her to her sister too. I told her sister that I was not going to ask the guy to leave until he gets a job and I won't join my wife in not relating well to the guy. This became an issue between us which we later settled. I convinced her to forget the past as this should even be a lesson to us that we should always treat people well as you don't know where you will meet them again or when you will need their help. The guy started working and everybody was happy. One day wife raised a point that the guy was suppossed to buy even if it's ordinary bottle of milk and I quickly trashed that conversation. One day I wanted to get the rug cleaner in his room and I saw cans of drinks, cartons of McDonalds under his bed with groceries. He had gone to work / or class that day. To be candid, I felt somehow and spoke to my wife about what I found. At that point, I began to remeber all the guy's attitudes and they started getting to me. I remembered a day we wanted to go out without the kids and I asked if the kids could stay at home with him, he said no that he was going to have online lecture. Since then we always take them to a friend's place or wify sister's if we feel they shouldn't follow us even if he is at home. I remebered how he never for once asked if I had fixed my phone's screen or not, I remebered how he never asked if we have received the foodstuff he was to bring but we needed to cargo. I remebered how we, 4 of us are sleeping in one room, wife and the kids just for him to have his privacy. I remebered how our bills, water, electricity and gas had increased since he came and to God who made me, I never bothered about any of these for once. I felt someone is using me and I concluded to tell him to look for accommodation but I won't change my attitude to him. So I asked him about his search for accomodation and he said he was thinking about raising his school fees balance and that would take a while since he can only work for 20hrs in a week. I told him that he should look for the ones that are cheaper and since holidays are here, he can work full time to raise his balance. Besides, we are 4 sleeping in a room and it is not convenient for us. His body language confirmed he was not ready to leave so I started helping him to look for a shared apartment. I got one via a church member and he went there for inspection though he didn't want to go initially. His reason was that he was having an online lecture at the time they asked him to come which he must received at home. I spoke to the person and they said he could come at any time since they would be at home throughout the day. When I told the guy, he said he can't still go because of some group discussion he would have after the lecture bla bla bla. At that point, I told him that he needed to go because we are 4 in the room and it is not convenient for us. He went only for him to come back and tell me that he doesn't like this house. He said the house is close to his Uni but he just doesn't like it and that I shouldn't worry, he would leave by this weekend. 'No wahala', I said and since then he has been giving me attitude. He came back from work on Thursday morning, I opened the door, greeted him and he didn't answer. All along, he stays in his room and when food is ready, I would be the one to go and call him and he comes out immediately. But since Wednesday, when I go to call him for food, he won't come out until after 20 - 25 minutes. So this afternoon before I went to pick one of the kids from school, I called him to come and eat but he didn't answer. When I returned, I still met the food untouched. I wanted to call him again but I decided to face my project that is frustrating my life and then he came out to eat. He started saying a lot of things about him getting accommoation that I was not listening to. But the last thing he said made me to decide to put this here. I heard him said, 'I will leave when I get a good accommodation'. I just said okay, he ate his food and left for his room.

Please I need advise to handle this maturedly. Since he came none of his people called to say 'thank you' not even his girlfriend that we know. But I don't care at all as all I want is for him to leave as I don't want to continue to sacrifice the comfort of my family to someone who is unappreciative.

Another person will read this, good person with pure heart will seek for help, the sole helper after reading this won't want to help.

I just gained admission into a school in the UK without funds. My dad wants to use his properties to get a loan for me so I could pay my £5.5k deposit and cover the rest for visa processing, but unfortunately no banks want to give loans. My senior sister brought up the idea of getting a loan from my dad's friend, who is very rich, with our collateral. Funny enough, my dad has never gone on to seek any help from the man before, despite being his close friend. We went there, and the man said he doesn't borrow or give people money again, and that all his money outside is N82 million, which people have failed to return. Before getting there, my dad was so sure he will help, and we were so ashamed of ourselves for not getting the help from the man. My dad felt so embarrassed, and I pity that man (my dad). On the road, he told me that if he had known the man wouldn't help, he wouldn't have stepped his toe into his house for this kind help, because he doesn't know how to ask for help from people.
Just because of how people have paid this man back with evil, now they are about to block my dream move.

Relating it to this your post, if genuine people with pure and simple heart come for your assistance just because of your experience with this nigga you won't want to help.

I pray God reward your kindness in abundant way beyond your imagination. Please don't stop helping people because of this. You can just limit it as Yoruba use to say (Ore niwan)

babajeje123:
Advise needed please.
Now I am begining to understand why most Nigerians here don't want to accomodate newcomers who are Nigerians. I accommodated a guy who is becoming difficult for me to handle just because I don't like wahala. We lived in the same house in Nigeria and during those period we were never friends. We only exchanged greetings sometimes as he was very rude and proud. So when he got to know that I left Naija with my family, he became a 'friend', called me one day and asked for what he needed to do to come to the UK. I explained all I did without any reservations and advised him on what he needed to do. He applied to a University and a week to his resumption, he had not gotten his CAS. He was worried as he had sent so many emails and made calls to the Uni without a single reply, so I went to the Uni to ask for the reason for the delay as there was also no update on his application portal. The lady I spoke to was not going to converse with me but after some pressure, she spoke and from our conversation, it didn't appear he was going to get the CAS. I remembered a friend who is an Agent of the Uni and spoke to him, sent his details and the following day he got his CAS. No penny was collected. I guided him on how to apply for his visa which he got. Prior to him getting his visa, he was asked from the Home Office to forward additional documents like payslip etc and he was afraid of what to do. I connected him to a friend who had the same experience and that one guided him on additional docs he could send and eventually he got his visa. He spoke to me about accomodation and I told him he could put up with my family and when he is settled, he can start looking for one. While he was coming we asked him to help us bring food stuff which we were going to ask someone to buy and give to him and he told me point blank that he like doesn't travel with luggages. I was taken aback. So i needed to beg him and explained to him that he would not carry any load till he get to Newcastle his final destination and I promised to come and pick him at the airport. He agreed however he didn't come with any of the foodstuff except for my wife's laptop that someone took to meet him at the airport in Nigeria. His reason was that the payment system of the airline he used was not working and so there was no way to pay for additional luggage. My wife begged him to at least picked some dry fish but he insisted that he had his luggages to carry. So we cargoed our foodstuff. Because of that, my wife and her family insisted that I must not go and pick him at the airport which I agreed initially but later went to pick him. When I looked at the hours of layover he had at Doha and Heathrow and considering the fact that he would arrive Newcastle at 10:30pm, I went to pick him without my wife's consent though I explained to her sister when I took the kid to her house. Wify was on a night shift luckily that day. On my way to the airport, I called to let him know I was on my way when he had not even left Heathrow but when I got there my phone dropped and the screen shattered when I went to use the toilet. I can't receive any calls or make any. As a village boy I am, I stood at the international wing of the airport instad of the domestic wing. He arrived, was calling but I couldn't pick. Eventually we met after hours and the first thing he did was to attack me. 'I have been calling and waiting in the cold since, all those we came together have gone and I am the only one left. If I knew where I was going, I would have left since', he raged. I was going to retort but smiled and explained everything to him. Helped him with his luggages to where I parked and paid £25 for parking.

My wife wasn't happy with his stay and she showed it. It was like a pay-back moment for all the guy's behaviours to her in Naija but I would not have any of that. I ensured that they guy sit with us, eat with us, go to church with us, gave him numbers to call for jobs etc. When I felt my wife was taking things to far as she reported me to my mum that I hosted a stranger in this UK economy where things are expensive and my mum also started mounting pressure, I reported her to her sister too. I told her sister that I was not going to ask the guy to leave until he gets a job and I won't join my wife in not relating well to the guy. This became an issue between us which we later settled. I convinced her to forget the past as this should even be a lesson to us that we should always treat people well as you don't know where you will meet them again or when you will need their help. The guy started working and everybody was happy. One day wife raised a point that the guy was suppossed to buy even if it's ordinary bottle of milk and I quickly trashed that conversation. One day I wanted to get the rug cleaner in his room and I saw cans of drinks, cartons of McDonalds under his bed with groceries. He had gone to work / or class that day. To be candid, I felt somehow and spoke to my wife about what I found. At that point, I began to remeber all the guy's attitudes and they started getting to me. I remembered a day we wanted to go out without the kids and I asked if the kids could stay at home with him, he said no that he was going to have online lecture. Since then we always take them to a friend's place or wify sister's if we feel they shouldn't follow us even if he is at home. I remebered how he never for once asked if I had fixed my phone's screen or not, I remebered how he never asked if we have received the foodstuff he was to bring but we needed to cargo. I remebered how we, 4 of us are sleeping in one room, wife and the kids just for him to have his privacy. I remebered how our bills, water, electricity and gas had increased since he came and to God who made me, I never bothered about any of these for once. I felt someone is using me and I concluded to tell him to look for accommodation but I won't change my attitude to him. So I asked him about his search for accomodation and he said he was thinking about raising his school fees balance and that would take a while since he can only work for 20hrs in a week. I told him that he should look for the ones that are cheaper and since holidays are here, he can work full time to raise his balance. Besides, we are 4 sleeping in a room and it is not convenient for us. His body language confirmed he was not ready to leave so I started helping him to look for a shared apartment. I got one via a church member and he went there for inspection though he didn't want to go initially. His reason was that he was having an online lecture at the time they asked him to come which he must received at home. I spoke to the person and they said he could come at any time since they would be at home throughout the day. When I told the guy, he said he can't still go because of some group discussion he would have after the lecture bla bla bla. At that point, I told him that he needed to go because we are 4 in the room and it is not convenient for us. He went only for him to come back and tell me that he doesn't like this house. He said the house is close to his Uni but he just doesn't like it and that I shouldn't worry, he would leave by this weekend. 'No wahala', I said and since then he has been giving me attitude. He came back from work on Thursday morning, I opened the door, greeted him and he didn't answer. All along, he stays in his room and when food is ready, I would be the one to go and call him and he comes out immediately. But since Wednesday, when I go to call him for food, he won't come out until after 20 - 25 minutes. So this afternoon before I went to pick one of the kids from school, I called him to come and eat but he didn't answer. When I returned, I still met the food untouched. I wanted to call him again but I decided to face my project that is frustrating my life and then he came out to eat. He started saying a lot of things about him getting accommoation that I was not listening to. But the last thing he said made me to decide to put this here. I heard him said, 'I will leave when I get a good accommodation'. I just said okay, he ate his food and left for his room.

Please I need advise to handle this maturedly. Since he came none of his people called to say 'thank you' not even his girlfriend that we know. But I don't care at all as all I want is for him to leave as I don't want to continue to sacrifice the comfort of my family to someone who is unappreciative.

Sorry man. You must be an angel just like myself.

Is it your own property bought with your money? then I would give him two weeks to leave. If it's a rented apartment then one week. If he doesn't leave then involve the police, they'll kick him out same day.

If someone acts proud to me in the past, I take them for what they portray. I have several old mates in the UK that I have kept at arm's length based on my past interaction with them. UK doesn't change character, it only packages bad habits.

babajeje123:
I know but will I give him ultimatum or what? How will I explain to him again since he felt offended when I insisted he should go and check one on Wednesday only for him to return and say he doesn't like it.

Whether he likes the houses being offered to him or not is none of your biz.

Man up and give him an ultimatum to leave your house in 2 weeks...he has overstayed his welcome!

sgtponzihater1:
Sorry man. You must be an angel just like myself.

Is it your own property bought with your money? then I would give him two weeks to leave. If it's a rented apartment then one week. If he doesn't leave then involve the police, they'll kick him out same day.

If someone acts proud to me in the past, I take them for what they portray. I have several old mates in the UK that I have kept at arm's length based on my past interaction with them. UK doesn't change character, it only packages bad habits.

see eh, some times evil people need to be shown wickedness so they can sit back, think and realise that they brought their present predicament upon themselves. It's absolutely important. Actions have consequences and people need to know that.

If you ask the guy now, he will feel he's being smart and everyone else is a fool

michlins:
see eh, some times evil people need to be shown wickedness so they can sit back, think and realise that they brought their present predicament upon themselves. It's absolutely important. Actions have consequences and people need to know that.

If you ask the guy now, he will feel he's being smart and everyone else is a fool

If we are to be sincere with ourselves, that stranger is actually smarter than his host. Instead of him to beg and ask for grace period, he has guilt trapped the OP up to the point of the OP begging him to eat. Hunger na your mate? If he too vex why he later eat the food.

The OP is being nice because nobody knows tomorrow, but I tell you, when the time is right for the stranger, he will leave and cut off the entire family.

I pity those keeping my contact for the single reason that nobody knows tomorrow because if I make am tomorrow I go change number

Is the wife I pity because I don't want to imagine my partner picking someone else over me. This can really reduce her self esteem.

Viruses:
If we are to be sincere with ourselves, that stranger is actually smarter than his host. Instead of him to beg and ask for grace period, he has guilt trapped the OP up to the point of the OP begging him to eat. Hunger na your mate? If he too vex why he later eat the food.

The OP is being nice because nobody knows tomorrow, but I tell you, when the time is right for the stranger, he will leave and cut off the entire family.

I pity those keeping my contact for the single reason that nobody knows tomorrow because if I make am tomorrow I go change number

Is the wife I pity because I don't want to imagine my partner picking someone else over me. This can really reduce her self esteem.

I can not beg my own child to eat my food. Now I have to beg someone else?

I'm a good person and people have been good to me also but everything else in this world has limits. You visitor has outlived the grace of the host.

michlins:
see eh, some times evil people need to be shown wickedness so they can sit back, think and realise that they brought their present predicament upon themselves. It's absolutely important. Actions have consequences and people need to know that.

If you ask the guy now, he will feel he's being smart and everyone else is a fool

Absolutely true boss

Chinlov:
ahhh

you sound as if you are afraid of this guy

Are you sure he has nothing over you/ your conscience? i am not understanding ooo

Anyway, na u wear shoe....

This is what I've been thinking. I think the man is truly babajeje...jeje to a fault.

How can this person be saying he hasn't found the house he likes?! The the host doesn't like living with him. So whose comfort is the priority then?

I doubt the OP will take the requisite action though. I suspect he'll let the guy stay and let the matter drag out until a full-blown fracas happens at some point - maybe between the wife and the guest. Hopefully not sha.

AlphaUno:
Not only when you work for the bolded and also not only when you are the bolded.
If it’s you alone, good! And if you have dependants, you can do this below.

- The main applicant and his or her dependants can all get a refund that would be lodged directly into the account used in making the same payment initially.
- As long as you work in healthcare; either with care homes, Independent living, Domiciliary, NHS or whatever, you qualify.
- When applying, ensure your application (payslips) timeframe starts from March of the year under review to avoid rejection.
- If the main applicant (MA) and his dependant work in healthcare, they only need an application that will include all their details.
However, If their timeframe isn’t the same, they can decide to do it separately.

Remember me when the ££££ enter o, just a bottle of O’mara’s Salted Caramel Irish cream will do

Oh wow!

This is an eye opener. I was thinking it's only when you work with NHS. I currently work in Domiciliary Care. It's been 3 months...So I just need to wait for 3 more and apply? Sweet!

Naughty girl.

bigtt76:
You don try sha. Na people that guy you will lend money to and he will insult you die before paying back. May God never let us meet people like him in our lives.

I read many of the suggestions given and they are top notch. Don't feel guilty tripped that you are sinning by evicting him or not helping a brother in need, you don try inside this Sunak UK. The guy for all you know is giving some small geh in his class pounds or spending sinzu at Greggs close to his school. Omo evict that guy this night without delay. Let his balls freeze in this winter jooooooor. No dulling.

Godfavour2020:
Another person will read this, good person with pure heart will seek for help, the sole helper after reading this won't want to help.

I just gained admission into a school in the UK without funds. My dad wants to use his properties to get a loan for me so I could pay my £5.5k deposit and cover the rest for visa processing, but unfortunately no banks want to give loans. My senior sister brought up the idea of getting a loan from my dad's friend, who is very rich, with our collateral. Funny enough, my dad has never gone on to seek any help from the man before, despite being his close friend. We went there, and the man said he doesn't borrow or give people money again, and that all his money outside is N82 million, which people have failed to return. Before getting there, my dad was so sure he will help, and we were so ashamed of ourselves for not getting the help from the man. My dad felt so embarrassed, and I pity that man (my dad). On the road, he told me that if he had known the man wouldn't help, he wouldn't have stepped his toe into his house for this kind help, because he doesn't know how to ask for help from people.
Just because of how people have paid this man back with evil, now they are about to block my dream move.

Relating it to this your post, if genuine people with pure and simple heart come for your assistance just because of your experience with this nigga you won't want to help.

I pray God reward your kindness in abundant way beyond your imagination. Please don't stop helping people because of this.

This can't happen again.

michlins:
see eh, there's a thing line between benevolence and stupidity. You already crossed the line. I couldn't finish what you wrote without wanting to beat you

Can I upgrade its Memory? I have a spare memory https://www.allhdd.com/hpe-815098-b21-memory/

babajeje123:
Thanks all for your words. I've spoken to him and gave him till next week Friday or Saturday. He said he hasn't seen the one he likes that is affordable, the ones he like are expensive etc. I sha told him that I want us to get a house for him by next week Friday, latest Saturday.

Weldone!

You need to leave this jeje lifestyle, it wont take u anywhere. You need to stand firm and man up!

Next time, tell them oh sorry you cant stay in my place, we have two families staying with me already etc people love lies than d truth.

N/B the tough guys live longer than the mr nice and good guys.

adnanshaoun582:
Can I upgrade its Memory? I have a spare memory https://www.allhdd.com/hpe-815098-b21-memory/

memory of what please

But na true naaaah Make dis cold reset hin head then he go understand those dry fish he refused bring back na saving grace for winter peppersoup. OP that Friday deadline you agree sef too long

lightnlife:


Naughty girl.

bigtt76:
But na true naaaah Make dis cold reset hin head then he go understand those dry fish he refused bring back na saving grace for winter peppersoup. OP that Friday deadline you agree sef too long

Lol

babajeje123:
Lol

The deadline of next week is too long

If he doesn't leave by Saturday, call the police and tell then you hosted an acquaintance for FREE and he has refused to leave and you are uncomfortable living in the same house with this guy and your young children. Once children are involved (safeguarding concerns), police will turn up asap and ask the guy to leave.

babajeje123:
Lol

no matter what happens, don't lay a finger on it to avoid being accused of assault.