If My Wife Does Everything I Tell Her To Do, Then She's My Child, Not My Wife - Nigerian Man

A Nigerian Relationship and Marriage counsellor, AJ Morgan has taken to Twitter to kick against the ideology that a woman must do everything her husband tells her to do, IGBERETV reports.

He stated that if his wife does everything he tells her to do, then she is his child and not his wife.

''IF MY WIFE does everything I tell her to do, then she's my child and not my wife. That would be "parenting," not "partnering." Marriage is a union of two adults with different ideas and opinions. Knowing this has helped my attitude. A control freak cannot build a great marriage'', he wrote.

https://twitter.com/ajeromorgan/status/1605083043462619137?t=UqpgtMUcW6oeSvTVnPkXNw&s=19

While some of his followers agreed with him, others insisted that man remains the head of the house and should direct affairs of the home.

Below are reactions from his followers.

https://igberetvnews.com/1434539/wife-everything-tell-shes-child-wife-nigerian-man/

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Na these kind of statements Dey make divorce rate go higher…




Our old African fathers had more successful marriages. Because a man is the head of the house and makes major decisions for the family.
Now we must copy everything from oyinbo! All these are oyibo ideas.

African men must remember their roots!

Western idealogy. The same idealogy that is responsible for 75 percent of all marriages ending in divorce in the west.

I can't be a child in marriage. But I will do anything for Daddyck as far butt and thighs are involved.


West do this, West do that.
West ideology this, West ideology that.
West is responsible for all the bad things blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .West is responsible for Africans failures. But yet the Africans depended on them starting from their poo to the ideology . We use/put on their dresses,Follow their education system ,use their letters to construct a sentence, speak their language, use their services [including electronic devices /internet ] .

If you want to go back to the typical African life don't forget to return the @bolded .Cuz it's the same West ideology.

You ppl should let them rest for a second.

Truth

...,,...

Jeon:
I can't be a child in marriage. But I will do anything for Daddyck as far butt and thighs are involved.


West do this, West do that.
West ideology this, West ideology that.
West is responsible for all the bad things blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .West is responsible for Africans failures. But yet the Africans depended on them starting from their poo to the ideology . We use/put on their dresses,Follow their education system ,use their letters to construct a sentence, speak their language, use their services [including electronic devices /internet ] .

Just return the @bolded If you don't want to copy oyinbo .

You ppl should let them rest for a second.

Ideologies of West ideology are a set of socially conditioned beliefs that offer a truth that people, both the privileged and the underprivileged, want to believe in, but they are neither true nor untrue. Click Here

Betle1991:


Ideologies of West ideology are a set of socially conditioned beliefs that offer a truth that people, both the privileged and the underprivileged, want to believe in, but they are neither true nor untrue. Click Here

The thing is too much.
Crying West and late Queen Elizabeth, as if they forced us to follow up with their way of living / forced us to sold out our siblings to them as slaves for gins, mirror /gun powder.


Or are they still the one pointing guns on our heads to go slaughter /fight / bury juju on the floor for our brothers/sisters ?

if Africans wanna forbid them, they should start from their technology advance +civilization revolution + educational system to mode of survival.

Even the power supply systems should not be left out. All the constructed projects should be brought down too[starting from the bridges them constructed to the houses they designed]... THAT'S
Their architect knowledge should also be ban [it's West ideology and cuz more harms to Africans]

Jimmythewise:
Western idealogy. The same idealogy that is responsible for 75 percent of all marriages ending in divorce in the west.

You mean the 75% official divorce rate is different from the almost 75% marriage abandonment rate in Nigeria which goes largely undocumented given that it remains a thing of shame for the victims in all of those cases?

brain54:
Na these kind of statements Dey make divorce rate go higher…
Our old African fathers had more successful marriages. Because a man is the head of the house and makes major decisions for the family.
Now we must copy everything from oyinbo! All these are oyibo ideas. African men must remember their roots!

You mean in addition to the already high marriage abandonment —the culturally accepted practice of divorce that allows men the right to send wives back to their parents as if unwanted slaves — rates from the times of your ancestors and ancestors before them?

Kobojunkie:
You mean in addition to the already high marriage abandonment —the culturally accepted practice of divorce that allows men the right to send wives back to their parents as if unwanted slaves — rates from the times of your ancestors and ancestors before them?

Sending wives to their parents isn’t divorce…

It was a way of setting disputes between husband and wife. A way to make a badly behaving wife to seat up. Like a husband refusing to eat his wife’s food. These were means of settling disputes- and of course disputes would arise between couples… but these measures worked.

Pls don’t compare the rate of divorce during the time of ancestors ( as you put it) and the present rate. It’s almost a taboo!

brain54:
1. Sending wives to their parents isn’t divorce…

2. It was a way of setting disputes between husband and wife. A way to make a badly behaving wife to seat up. Like a husband refusing to eat his wife’s food. These were means of settling disputes- and of course disputes would arise between couples… but these measures worked.

3. Pls don’t compare the rate of divorce during the time of ancestors ( as you put it) and the present rate. It’s almost a taboo!

1. It is not? Is it instead like returning a shirt or shoe you don't want again?

2. A way of settling disputes yet in a great number of such incidents the women who are driven back to their parent's homes are never taken back by the husbands who abandoned them, so in that case, is it considered divorce, or do you have another convenient explanation for that too?

3. Never mind the fact that your ancestors are equally recorded to have abandoned unwanted wives at pretty much as you have done today, you believe it shouldn't be considered the same as what is observed even today because their deeds were justified by the fact that previously the abandoned women, and their family, bore much of the shame alone — shame they then covered up by keeping the women living in hiding for the rest of her life?

A man with wisdom

Kobojunkie:
1. It is not? Is it instead like returning a shirt or shoe you don't want again?

2. A way of settling disputes yet in a great number of such incidents the women who are driven back to their parent's homes are never taken back by the husbands who abandoned them, so in that case, is it considered divorce, or do you have another convenient explanation for that too?

3. Never mind the fact that your ancestors are equally recorded to have abandoned unwanted wives at pretty much as you have done today, you believe it shouldn't be considered the same as what is observed even today because their deeds were justified by the fact that previously the abandoned women, and their family, bore much of the shame alone — shame they then covered up by keeping the women living in hiding for the rest of her life?

Sending wives to their parents wasn’t divorce…

It was a way of strongly cautioning an erring wife. I would say 95% of such cases ended with the wife returning back to her husband’s house. Most times it was a threat that was never even carried out by the men. Some communities in the Niger delta region still use this means of settling marriage issues till date. It’s a means of settling the issues and not divorce as an end in itself.

The idea of sending the erring wife to her parents was for them to give her a “brain resetting pep” talk. Mostly after the man may have shown his displeasure in some other ways…like refusing to eat wifey’s food.
It’s just a way of showing displeasure. Divorce to ancestors was almost a taboo and only done if absolutely necessary like a cheating wife.

I insist divorce rates is higher now than back then by African oldies. You may disagree with my reasons for the higher rates but don’t tell me divorce rates back then was higher than it is now or even try to compare.

Marriages pack up less than 1year or below more easily than it did years ago.

brain54:
1. Sending wives to their parents wasn’t divorce…

2. It was a way of strongly cautioning an erring wife. I would say 95% of such cases ended with the wife returning back to her husband’s house. Most times it was a threat that was never even carried out by the men. The idea of sending the erring wife to her parents was for them to give her a “brain resetting pep” talk. Mostly after the man may have shown his displeasure in some other ways…like refusing to eat wifey’s food.
It’s just a way of showing displeasure.

3. Divorce to ancestors was almost a taboo and only done if absolutely necessary like a cheating wife.

4. I insist divorce rates is higher now than back then by African oldies. You may disagree with my reasons for the higher rates but don’t tell me divorce rates back then was higher than it is now or even try to compare.

5. Marriages pack up less than 1year or below more easily than it did years ago.

1. It is not? Is it instead like returning a shirt or shoe you don't want again?

2. A way of settling disputes yet in a great number of such incidents the women who are driven back to their parent's homes are never taken back by the husbands who abandoned them, so in that case, is it considered divorce, or do you have another convenient explanation for that too?

3. Never mind the fact that your ancestors are equally recorded to have abandoned unwanted wives at pretty much as you have done today, you believe it shouldn't be considered the same as what is observed even today because their deeds were justified by the fact that previously the abandoned women, and their family, bore much of the shame alone — shame they then covered up by keeping the women living in hiding for the rest of her life?

4. If you don't even wish to acknowledge the fact that abandonments amount to divorce, how can you competently and reasonably argue that divorce rates today are much higher than they used to be during the time of your ancestors?

5. How do you know this for a fact when you refuse to acknowledge that women who were abandoned during their first year in marriage by your ancestors who never went to take them back were divorced?

How can you have different opinions and ideology with your partner and you are calling it marriage
I mean how do your marriage want to last long when you have a different opinion with your partner

Kobojunkie:
1. It is not? Is it instead like returning a shirt or shoe you don't want again?

2. A way of settling disputes yet in a great number of such incidents the women who are driven back to their parent's homes are never taken back by the husbands who abandoned them, so in that case, is it considered divorce, or do you have another convenient explanation for that too?

3. Never mind the fact that your ancestors are equally recorded to have abandoned unwanted wives at pretty much as you have done today, you believe it shouldn't be considered the same as what is observed even today because their deeds were justified by the fact that previously the abandoned women, and their family, bore much of the shame alone — shame they then covered up by keeping the women living in hiding for the rest of her life?

4. If you don't even wish to acknowledge the fact that abandonments amount to divorce, how can you competently and reasonably argue that divorce rates today are much higher than they used to be during the time of your ancestors?

5. How do you know this for a fact when you refuse to acknowledge that women who were abandoned during their first year in marriage by your ancestors who never went to take them back were divorced?

So your argument is that divorce rates was higher back then than it is presently? Ok I agree with you. Congratulations to this generation we are really trying then!

brain54:
So your argument is that divorce rates was higher back then than it is presently? Ok I agree with you. Congratulations to this generation we are really trying then!

So long as you have humans in relationships, breakups are to be expected. It is natural given that humans are not created to be constant in their being or character. You are born, you grow old, and your body changes, so also your mind and love interests should also be expected to change. It doesn't matter what relationship type or what generation you refer to, divorce has been on since the beginning of relationships. In the past, people did it in hiding, but now they do it openly and without shame, and rightly so. No man or woman need be ashamed of that which is natural anyways.

Solofresh2:
How can you have different opinions and ideology with your partner and you are calling it marriage
I mean how do your marriage want to last long when you have a different opinion with your partner

You think marriage is about having the exact same ideology and opinions as your partner? Even identical twins cannot boast of such a feat.

Kobojunkie:
You tyink marriage is about having the exact same ideology and opinions as your partner? Even maternal twins cannot boast of such a feat.

If do your marriage work out then,if you both can't agree to a certain opinion

Kobojunkie:
So long as you have humans in relationships, breakups are to be expected. It is natural given that humans are not created to be constant in their being or character. You are born, you grow old, and your body changes, so also your mind and love interests should also be expected to change. It doesn't matter what relationship type or what generation you refer to, divorce has been on since the beginning of relationships. In the past, people did it in hiding, but now they do it openly and without shame, and rightly so. No man or woman need be ashamed of that which is natural anyways.

No one is arguing with you about all you stated.
The argument was about the rising cases of divorce and the likely causes. Who said they were never cases of divorce?
Pls I don’t have time for unnecessary arguments today. You just twisting the obvious good luck with that!

Solofresh2:
If do your marriage work out then,if you both can't agree to a certain opinion

Marriages are based on agreements between couples, not opinions. If A and B agree on a common goal, then regardless of what opinions A and B hold, so long as they are both focused on the same goal, they are headed in the right direction. It is when the goal changes for each that you then come together to suggest a reorientation of senses or goals.

Imagine your partner as you would your business partner. You both have individual opinions but share a common goal. That is really the base definition of marriage.

brain54:
Na these kind of statements Dey make divorce rate go higher…




Our old African fathers had more successful marriages. Because a man is the head of the house and makes major decisions for the family.
Now we must copy everything from oyinbo! All these are oyibo ideas.

African men must remember their roots!

If only the big strong African mandingo men would copy success, development and a thriving nation from the ‘oyinbo’ too.

Na only woman matter we hear about, you won’t ‘copy’ something that’s actually useful

ibkayee:

If only the big strong African mandingo men would copy success, development and a thriving nation from the ‘oyinbo’ too.

Na only woman matter we hear about, you won’t ‘copy’ something that’s actually useful

Negatives are always easier to learn or copy…

Same way bad or evil travels faster than good news. It’s easier to destroy than build. It’s just the way of the world.

brain54:

Negatives are always easier to learn or copy…

Same way good news or evil travels faster than bad news. It’s easier to destroy than build. It’s just the way of the world.

Da black man and his excuses

C’mon get out of my sight

brain54:
No one is arguing with you about all you stated.
The argument was about the rising cases of divorce and the likely causes. Who said they were never cases of divorce?
Pls I don’t have time for unnecessary arguments today. You just twisting the obvious good luck with that!

About 40 years ago, the population in Nigeria was at about 42 million, and abandonment in marriage(a la divorce) was still the norm even back then. I knew at least 10 cases of divorce— marriage abandonment— on my street alone during my secondary school years. And in my own high school class, I had at least 15 coursemates from broken homes — some of the kids were conveniently stashed away in boarding school because papa don marry another woman. Now, why was it all not as visible then as it is today? Because it was a thing of shame and needed to be hidden. The children born the shame, so also the abandoned spouse.

Fast forward to Nigeria in 2022, with a population is about 220 million what do you have? The very same trend going on except now the abandoned children and partners refuse to bear the shame of abandonment(a la divorce) alone. They speak up and speak out about their predicament for all to know of and hear, and society itself has taken a turn in the way it handles such situations.

The crude rate of marital dissolution in Nigeria was 11 per 1000 population. Among ever married population, crude rate of marital dissolution was 29.5 per 1000.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/292141179_Prevalence_and_Patterns_of_Marital_Dissolution_in_Nigeria

Records haven't changed much since official divorce rates on paper in Nigeria still indicate a rate of less than 1%, pretty much a similar rate as it was in the 80s.

Just 0.2% of men and 0.3% of women have legally untied the knot, according to the National Bureau of Statistics. And well under 1% of couples admit to being separated. Yet such counts exclude the vast majority of Nigerians, whose traditional marriage ceremonies are not governed by modern law.”
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2020/10/the-rate-of-divorce-in-nigeria-latest-statistics/

So why do you claim here that divorce rate is high in Nigeria? It all boils down to the fact that you now view abandonment for what they are as it is no longer hidden from anyone for what it is. What is still observed to this day in Nigeria is marriage abandonment(a la divorce), the same practice your ancestors engaged in, condoned, and justified.

ibkayee:

Da black man and his excuses

C’mon get out of my sight

Eat shi.t! Mad man or woman

@kobojunkie
Even the reference you quoted admits that very little scholarly research has been done on this issue. Nigeria is not a nation that keep records, statistics or data.

I can bet my not so big hairy balls if you had 10 people on your street in whatever year you stated up there who came from divorced homes then in this 2022 you will have as much as 3 times more of such cases in your street.
It’s not even the numbers it’s the ratio. Go out and look around. Don’t take my words for it. Go out and stop hiding behind your keyboard reading useless statistics.
Open your eyes and see. Divorce these days is not an issue. It just happens like people eating breakfast and everyone moving on like nothing happened or they was not even a marriage that existed.
Open your eyes and see!

brain54:

Lol…

Even the reference you are quoting admits that very little scholarly research work is done on the issue of divorce in Nigeria.
Nigeria is not a nation that keeps thorough records and data…

I can bet my not so big hairy balls if you had 10 people on your street in whatever year you stated up there who came from divorced homes then in this 2022 you will have as much as 3 times more of such cases in your street.
Go out and look around. Don’t take my words for it. Go out and stop hiding behind your keyboard reading useless statistics.
Open your eyes and see. Divorce these days is not an issue. It just happens like people eating breakfast and everyone moving on like nothing happened or they was not even a marriage that existed.
Open your eyes and see!

Mandingo, I think this is meant for KoboJunkie

Kobojunkie:
You mean the 75% official divorce rate is different from the almost 75% marriage abandonment rate in Nigeria which goes largely undocumented given that it remains a thing of shame for the victims in all of those cases?

25 percent you mean.

ibkayee:

Mandingo, I think this is meant for KoboJunkie

MADam I sorted it