₦airaland Forum

Tell your mom you can drop part of the 120K, but you can't give all...

Rubbiish:
I know things are difficult now & the pressure is much on u, but u need to be very careful. I think u are going about this the wrong way, the help u may get from this same brother tomorrow, u won't get it from your daughter, I'm talking from a real life experience. My advice to u is this, do not put this in a quarrel way, see how u can compromise a little & let ur mom understand the situation.

For she to house u & ur child bespeaks she is a good mother. If ur daughter school fees is for example 120k, see how u can squeeze out around 20k and give it to ur mother, let it be that at least u made effort, do not ignore her plea & pur this in a quarrel way. U will need the help of ur brother & mom tomorrow, believe me. & if u are not very Careful with how u handle this, ur brother will never forget.

honestly you’re right .

All my brothers wey make sacrifice for me back then are now enjoying me now. Not bragging , I’ve done for them x10000 of what they did for me back then. I take their children as mine.

Kdsml:
Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls

I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture, I moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom's place.

We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country.

I have decided to start selling foodstuffs in the front of the house and i will use the remaining money for my daughter school fees in January.

My mom asked me to borrow her 120k to pay for my brother school fee and i refused explaining to her why i can't give her the money and she has been giving attitudes and refused to speak to me, i went to the market today i bought xmas clothes for my daughter and a wrapper for my mom she rejected it.

I know she is doing all this for me to give her the money but i will not give it to her no matter what. I don't understand why she is angry when she knows that my husband is not around i should use the money wisely because if i am broke i have no one else to help me.

Am i wrong for refusing to help her?

You are very right

Oracleee:
Most of the folks here are telling you not to mind your mum. Watch how you create if not an everlasting enemity between yourself and your brother. Even your mum won't be able to bridge the gap. Family is everything. Your brother might be desperate for the money. If you are to get an house rent won't you path with close to the amount and this is your blood brother we are talking about here. My sister once choosed her husband before me years ago and till today I still carry the grudge. Don't create an enemity, cut your budget cost for the business and help your brother even if not everything. Las Las that your hubby might loose guard you,. The 300k might finish or get stolen but the people you have are everything.

The boy is 24 years not under 18. He's an age where he's old enough to cater for himself. He needed the money for school fees, he wasn't sick and helpless in a hospital.

What do you mean your sister chose her husband before you?

Did you want your sister to throw her husband away and marry you instead?


If your sister has kids, the family she has created are now a priority over the family she left behind.

You sound like a selfish and self-centered person.

But you're staying in the house for free , your mum should have charged you rent , most people are selfish and only think of themselves

zedegit:
I won't be surprised if he's an illegal immigrant.

He would face 2 challenges: the police and exploitation.

illegal immigration is not reigning again, it's even fóolish to do so when you know you'll be needing a job. If he's in the UK and ready to get his hands dirty, he would have sorted his wife out within two months before his dream job lands

fabiano09:
But you're staying in the house for free , your mum should have charged you rent , most people are selfish and only think of themselves

shut up

It is wise to not throw away your entire family's support since anything can happen. That being said, since you and hubby discussed what the money should be used for, I guess using it to pay your brother school fees might betray him.

I wonder though, Are you and daughter feeding from mum's resources?

tuzle:
This is a very serious issue. If u were not staying with your mom now or u didn't mention the money to them it would have been a different case. What about ur dad is he late? And is it just u and your brother your mom have? Also did he just get admission to school? For those of u saying at 24 he should be able to hustle and provide for himself, what work can he do without certificate that will provide the 120k he needs for the school fees. At least if u are giving advice also give us the solution. That money is going to make a lot of people enemies in that house whether u give it or u don't that is why making your mom aware of the money was a very big mistake.

Why is the school fees even 120k? Is it a private school? Is it the fees for multiple yrs?

RZArecta:
illegal immigration is not reigning again, it's even fóolish to do so when you know you'll be needing a job. If he's in the UK and ready to get his hands dirty, he would have sorted his wife out within two months before his dream job lands

What means do you think he used when he left *300k to his family obtained through selling property.

When you sell your property, it means it was the last option.

You will never know who is more important to you, Your Children or your Parents?

1Sharon:
Why is the school fees even 120k? Is it a private school? Is it the fees for multiple yrs?

some school are high like that like states school even some federal like fuoye

MeaslesMumpsRub:
You will never know who is more important to you, Your Children or your Parents?

My daughter is more important, she is my future the only one who can never betray me

Dis is ur broda u talking about... Nobody knows 2morow. If u can part with 30k or 40k to support his EDUCATION and explain to ur mum why u cant give her d whole 120k. Apply wisdom in family issues. As i said nobody knows tomorrow

tuzle:
some school are high like that like states school even some federal like fuoye

So school fees can be up to 120k for a whole year?

kkins25:
It is wise to not throw away your entire family's support since anything can happen. That being said, since you and hubby discussed what the money should be used for, I guess using it to pay your brother school fees might betray him.

I wonder though, Are you and daughter feeding from mum's resources?

No we are not feeding from her resource i bought the rice , ground nut oil and yam that we are eating now

Kdsml:
Thank you so much you have said everything I wanted to hear and i wish i could like this your comment a millions time

Don't feel pressured okay.... If you can't can, you can't can

Be strong

Kdsml:
No we are not feeding from her resource i bought the rice , ground nut oil and yam that we are eating now

Aright then, as long as her resources aren't being spent on either of you, then put your daughter first.

Once in a while thank you token sha! You're staying in her house. Plus, don't cut of the only family support you have besides your husband.

Kdsml:
Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls

I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture, I moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom's place.

We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country.

I have decided to start selling foodstuffs in the front of the house and i will use the remaining money for my daughter school fees in January.

My mom asked me to borrow her 120k to pay for my brother school fee and i refused explaining to her why i can't give her the money and she has been giving attitudes and refused to speak to me, i went to the market today i bought xmas clothes for my daughter and a wrapper for my mom she rejected it.

I know she is doing all this for me to give her the money but i will not give it to her no matter what. I don't understand why she is angry when she knows that my husband is not around i should use the money wisely because if i am broke i have no one else to help me.

Am i wrong for refusing to help her?

Stand your ground, else you will never see a refund and next session School fees for your brother will still be on you.

Kdsml:
My daughter is more important, she is my future the only one who can never betray me

But you Mum is your Past. The One who can never Betray You. If your Brother is Good academically and morally. It is not a bad thing for you to support him in paying his fees.

Moreover as you no get where to go,Na your Mama place you still run go.
If e set for you last last, Na Your mother go dey for you.

Your daughter is not your future, You are your future.
Your Mom probably thought you are her future too and now you are about to disappoint her.

Don't put unnecessary Pressure on that little Girl of Yours if you cannot take same pressure from your mom.
What goes around comes around

Kdsml:
No we are not feeding from her resource i bought the rice , ground nut oil and yam that we are eating now

Do you contribute to rent or bills?

Wotoporiously speaking

Op don't give her shi shi

As a mother she no Sabi say she for even dey help you take care of the pikin but instead she wan drain the small one wey remain, some mother's ehn...tufiakwa

Thank God for my mother

1Sharon:
Do you contribute to rent or bills?

No i don't pay rent i just moved back on the 10 of december my husband traveled on the 19 , it is not even up to a month since i moved and i haven't even started my business yet. If i start my business and i am making good profits i will contribute for rent and bills na

zedegit:
What means do you think he used when he left *300k to his family obtained through selling property.

When you sell your property, it means it was the last option.

I can confidently tell you he went through proper means. If you don't know what people are doing and going through in this japa wave then don't talk so confidently about it besides, that's not the topic for this discussion

Raalsalghul:
We need to start discussing the entitlement mentality of Nigerian parents.

Extended family generally.

1Sharon:
The boy is 24 years not under 18. He's an age where he's old enough to cater for himself. He needed the money for school fees, he wasn't sick and helpless in a hospital.

What do you mean your sister chose her husband before you?

Did you want your sister to throw her husband away and marry you instead?


If your sister has kids, the family she has created are now a priority over the family she left behind.

You sound like a selfish and self-centered person.

Selfish? Lol. You might be 60 years and be successful but one way or another you might still need help somedays. Pick her husband before me.... The earliest you learn your spouse is your only family who is not your relative the better for you. Divorce is quite rampart this days, your spouse can choose to leave, your partner can leave at a time of distress but family is where one runs too at the end.


About the sister thing, I needed some help at some point that could have made life better for me. I had like a million saved needed just 300k. My sister point blank told me her husband wanted changing his car and other family stuffs. I cried deeply as I also paid part of her masters fee before marriage even when it was not convenient. I ended up letting go and when the small god go, the bigger ones come. A complete stranger ended up helping. Am good now but it really laid a kibosh on our relationship.

Sweetvie:
I feel you bruh
You know how mom can be... She will never return the money. The lady clearly need the money for her own family... Not that she did not care about her mom or brother but she av her own family too. What is she suppose to do if it don't work out? Crying to the mom? In that same house the little brother that she gave that money may be the one to shut her up later.
@bolded
You got to let go
You can't expect her to choose you instead of her husband lol you will do dsame too

One lesson,. Whatever you give family don't expect it back.

Kdsml:
Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls

I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture, I moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom's place.

We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country.

I have decided to start selling foodstuffs in the front of the house and i will use the remaining money for my daughter school fees in January.

My mom asked me to borrow her 120k to pay for my brother school fee and i refused explaining to her why i can't give her the money and she has been giving attitudes and refused to speak to me, i went to the market today i bought xmas clothes for my daughter and a wrapper for my mom she rejected it.

I know she is doing all this for me to give her the money but i will not give it to her no matter what. I don't understand why she is angry when she knows that my husband is not around i should use the money wisely because if i am broke i have no one else to help me.

Am i wrong for refusing to help her?

Women and emotional manipulations ehh.

Sit your mom down and explain to her why you won't be giving her that Money. I'll advise her not to give her that money until you've start the business

seanwilliam:
Kdsml
Before you married, what were you doing?
Why must you rely 100% on what your husband owned ? That’s topic for another day sha,


Your daughter should be your priority, but you should also note that helping and sacrificing for your brother is not bad too. I know you’re in a dilemma , but sooner or later, you’ll find yourself at your brother’s mercy and trust me , men usually don’t forget good deeds.




You’re living with them, I know that no matter how little, you’re contributing to the house need, but in this case, you’ve made a mistake for letting her to know you have money , and trust me, if you don’t give her that money ,

1. She will hate you deeply
2. It will create enmity between you and your brother .
3. If things go south for you God forbid, they will do the same to you .
4. At some point in life, your daughter might need your brother’s help and he won’t do it too.
5. The situation can make your brother hate your daughter so much and trust me ehn, you won’t want that .

Although they’re not entitled to your money o, but at some point , I’m sure your brother and mother have made sacrifice for you too and if they’ve not , in the nearest future they will ..
Nairalanders will not be there when you’re having problems with your family . Some advice Dey sweet for mouth , but in reality, e go cause problem .



If I were you
I will split the money into 3.

I’ll give my brother like 80k
I’ll pay my daughter school fee.
I will set up business with whatever is left.




God go open road for your hubby , all these will become story .
My advice to you ,
Don’t ever disclose your financial information to anyone again.
When your business starts booming, pack out.








I have an uncle , some years ago he had money , he lost his business and had misunderstanding with his wife, she packed out with the kids ,
Weeks ago, he had hernia surgery, only his mom, father and brother were with him. They couldn’t leave him cos of family bond .

So sometimes , our priorities might not be there for us during tribulations.

Op! Think about this.
Support your brother with some of the fund like half of the payment.
Nevertheless, what of dad and is mum working or do you think she can get the money somewhere?
Age is no longer on your brother side too. Please, support your brother with any amount you can afford to avoid hatred in your family.
The Lord is your strength

seanwilliam:
lol, as if the brother is in secondary school

i didn't type it properly ni...but the husband will consider her and her family unserious if she hors ahead to do her mother's bidding.....

best thing may be to lend the mother say..50k and manage with the rest....problem though will be about how they'll pay the fee for the next sessions....

May you receive all that you desire for and dream for.
May this Christmas bring you all that you need in life.
May this Christmas bring so much happiness and blessing for you.
Merry Christmas to you all.
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1Sharon:
The boy is 24 years not under 18. He's an age where he's old enough to cater for himself. He needed the money for school fees, he wasn't sick and helpless in a hospital.

What do you mean your sister chose her husband before you?

Did you want your sister to throw her husband away and marry you instead?


If your sister has kids, the family she has created are now a priority over the family she left behind.

You sound like a selfish and self-centered person.

He at least confirmed something I always knew, women would most times put their husbands before their families. He thought women reason like men who go about singing how they have suffered with their families before marrying. If it were OP’s husband, know he would give his brother that money and if his wife says pim - we would sit to discuss how she wants to scatter the brotherhood.

If I were her, I would give my brother something, definitely not the 120k sha.