I Am Tired Of My Marriage - Family - Nairaland
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I Am Tired Of My Mom / I Am Tired Of My Wife / "I Am Tired Of Seeing My Husband's Hard Joystick Every Morning!" - Nigerian Lady (2) (3) (4)
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| I Am Tired Of My Marriage by janejjjjj5000: 12:08pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired. Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done. He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish. I feel like pouring out my heart. 25 Likes 8 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Nuelzi: 12:11pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
What exactly does this gender want? Sorry to say this but if what you wrote up there is true then permit me to say that you don't really know what you want He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest- you pointed out these qualities that most men lack yet you don't want to hold onto him. E be like say e get niqqa wey you dey eye somewhere na why you wan dropout  Nobody should quote me....na my mind I talk,I no stone person 711 Likes 41 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Nobody: 12:13pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
You will regret your decision 419 Likes 23 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by mariovito(m): 12:13pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
Have you guys seen a counselor or good family lawyer ? You guys need therapy, especially him. From your post, he rarely gets angry, but when he does, all hell flows, it can be managed. Possibly its a result of built up anger locked inside which eventually seeks expression in the most nasty form. You both need to work on your communication, so he can express disappointments and anger timeously and in the the most civilised manner . In conclusion, jettison that divorce idea. As long as he hasn't gone physical on you, your marriage is very redeemable. Good luck as you try your best. 79 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by ojun50(m): 12:15pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
You just need an opportunity for you to be flicking around town, woman what are you waiting for pack out jor 321 Likes 15 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by janejjjjj5000: 12:15pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
I am tired. I have a better view of marriage. He is not meeting up. My children are saying that the way he talks when upsets affects them. The children cry and he apologizes to all of us. I know I sound confused but I am just tired. I feel that my children will not be seeing this when we divorce. That is why I don't want the marriage anymore. I just want all round peace. I am tired. 13 Likes 10 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by janejjjjj5000: 12:18pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
No, sir. We have not. This is a good idea. I just feel so tired and unmotivated to work on the marriage. mariovito: 5 Likes |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by yuping(m): 12:18pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
| sometimes I'm confuse and my confused state get complicated and run into confused state without knowing already complex days await me. Haa only 3 times a year and you want divorce? Since you already know what you want why not go for it, mind you, your children might later blame u in the nearest future for this, I know, you said they are the reasons you want out but kindly seek the help of a marriage counselor before proceeding. Nobody is perfect but your husband is nearly perfect, just 3 times a year. SMH I hope you can say that you also don't give him headache more than 3 times a year? 251 Likes 10 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Beremx(f): 12:18pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
Comparing his wrongs to rights which is in the ratio of 1:10, Madam you have a very good husband. If you are tired of the marriage, another woman will gladly enjoy your loving husband. 423 Likes 20 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by PlayMaker14: 12:20pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
You don't know the value of what you have until you lose it... Do what pleases you. 259 Likes 16 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Nuelzi: 12:20pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
janejjjjj5000: Show me a man that have never shouted at his woman then you have to believe me when I say that my grandmother is still a virgin. The fact that he apologizes to you when he is wrong speaks volume....no be every man dey apologize yet their woman always stick around them. This is a family matter,you two need to be counseled by a marriage counselor,you don't have to leave your marriage because your husband shouts at you sometimes I know you have friends that have being feeding you with such nonsense that their own husband (s) don't shout at them...blah blah blah.... Na Dem dey feed you with all dx divorce of a thing...but believe me when I say one or two of them are not happy that you have that kinda man. 207 Likes 12 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by janejjjjj5000: 12:20pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
Thank you so much, sir. Do you think the kids might be needing therapy too? They cry when this happens. Especially the two oldest ones. The last two are twins and less than 2 so they don't know anything. I am just so confused. I don't discuss my home with third parties so I just felt like coming here to vent because I feel I cannot cope alone any longer. mariovito: 5 Likes |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by libertyfather(m): 12:21pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
Someone has been deceiving this one either on whatsap or facebook messenger 225 Likes 14 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by janejjjjj5000: 12:25pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
Thank you, sir. I think I will go for counseling. He has told me he is willing to go for counseling. He is begging me not to end the marriage. Nuelzi: 11 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by janejjjjj5000: 12:30pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed. libertyfather: 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by OlawaleBammie: 12:31pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
janejjjjj5000: U re very selfish and insensitive, u disgust me. Once again u re very selfish to the core. Sebi u have gained wat u want, ur retirement plan(the kids) that is how most of ur mates are doing na. Congratulations ma. Now u can divorce him after u have used him to gain wat u want. Am pretty sure u had nothing wen u guys married, at 19, u were practically a burden to him, what a poor man he is... Now after carrying ur burden all these years this is what u have to pay him in return abi. The young man laboured to put u in, take care of u and am sure ur family would have bn beneficiaries of his benevolence but wen its tym for u to build the great future u guys needed, wen its tym for u to join hands with him to build the empire for your children u suddenly want to back out just for the freedom of receiving random dicks. Madam u can go, just tell the poor man ur plan and stop maltreating him emotionally before they acuse him of domestic violence (as a result of ur maltreatment towards him) How i wished he had turned u to baby mama from the onset, how i wished, wen he met u den in his mind he has found a future partner  , future partner my foot.Madam please file for divorce before u implicate the young ma, but am sure the universe has its way of locating everyone with his or her reward. To be sincere, men shouldn't be marrying again, just give one or two random girls belle and drop out, if this is what they called marriage ooh, den men has no business with it, i just pity those who are kneeling down to propose Am sure the man would have knelt down wen he wanted to propose to this deeperlife bible church goer ooh 207 Likes 21 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by zed7: 12:32pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
You are talking to the wrong people. Go and communicate with your partner. I don't understand this our generation anymore. We leave substance and chase shadows. Nobody is perfect and sometimes we don't see our imperfections until people point it out to us. I also feel you are too sensitive. What you have complained about can really b trashed out or ignored. 20 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by advanceDNA: 12:32pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
janejjjjj5000: what you describe doesn't sound bad..its as if you are saying he doesn't have right to be angry or upset.. u even said he hardly gets angry, like maybe three times a year... u sound like u don't love or respect him anymore becos he's too nice.... yes....a man that gets angry only 3 times a year is obviously very quiet and too nice ....and from my experience you women don't like nice guys because nice guys don't take you on a roller coaster type of marriage ... I think you are just bored...u married too early, so midlife crisis hit you too early as well...whats worse you married a guy that's not keeping you on the edge of your seat... U want some excitement in your life... The mistake you are making is that instead of rekindling that excitement with your man, you are already looking outside... this is witchcraft.. it will not end well...... 188 Likes 11 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by DoctorOlasDesk: 12:35pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
janejjjjj5000: You're both only dealing with familiarity issues that begins to rear its heads up in the second decade of marriage It's not a big deal. This concerns only proves you both do not have an authority you submit to. A spiritual headship/counsellor can help mediate areas of concerns to help you both navigate this second half of your marriage I know you won't divorce or separate, so i'm wishing you safe trip in this phase of your marriage. Seek a counsellor, find a couple activity that you both can enjoy together, be more involved together and nothing can stop you both Good Luck ! Btw when men burst open this way in marriages, it is most times traced to idleness, lack of real work that challenges both mentally and psychologically, hence the need to find an outlet to pour open/burst unto, in this case, you and your kids. Try to pursue means for him to get more engaged with work activities, where he sweats it out morning till eve, when he comes home, he'll be begging for peace and not strife Rage = Idleness, Almost always And btw, I'm hardly wrong on issues. Ask around I also recommend you both go on separate vacation. Like Shiloh where you stay the full week without returning home, or church activities as such where you'll spend 2-3 days there. or a couple vacation today, not expensive, but where you can both be out of home. You're both choked, bored and need some new experiences/some fresh air ! 7 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by mariovito(m): 12:35pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
A lot of times, women in marriages get overwhelmed with marital challenges because they don't discuss their marital affairs with third parties which is a good thing because a lot of time, those third party may only have a perspective and not well suited to give best advice. In 2018, a lady rushed into my office, the way she sounded, if I could hand her a divorce order at that moment, I'll be her Messiah, but I got her to talk, apparently, she'd been facing some challenges in her marriage for years, hadn't talked with anyone about because third parties should not come in between a couple, so she had a lot pent up, that was her first time of having to talk about these things. Eventually, she unburdened herself, I advised her on the most objective line of action and I believe she's happier now. If you're both religious and devout, you can try seeing a marriage counselor if your church has one, or you can see a good therapist, I don't readily advice seeing pastors or imams for some reasons. For your kids, I think what they need is to see you two together, good together, no more open altercations. They don't need therapy, the therapy they need is to see the love between you both. So for starters, try and make your husband appreciate the effect his actions are having on the kids. If you can get him to do that, half of your job is done. Bad comes to worse, if you guys have disagreement like adults should, ensure it's not done in front of your kids. I hope this helps. janejjjjj5000: 6 Likes |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by advanceDNA: 12:35pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
zed7: she's just thinking out loud... she has no tangible reason for divorce...thats why she cant go to her husband... she just bored and needs some of the Hollywood and telemundo excitement she watches on tv.... I suspect she's abroad... she don belleful.... all she needs now is more trouble in her life 79 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by ojun50(m): 12:42pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
You want to use your children has excuse, madam abeg park out 39 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Acidosis(m): 12:45pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
You're bored. 36 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Sirlancelort(m): 12:48pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
janejjjjj5000: You are an adult you should be responsible for your decisions, all this flimsy excuse just to be fu**ing around. Mumu people everywhere 73 Likes 8 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Kobojunkie: 12:48pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
janejjjjj5000:He gets angry only 2 or 3 times out of the year, and that is all it took to get you tired of the marriage? Are you insinuating that there is emotional or verbal abuse in your relationship? He flares up in front of the kids at least 2 to 3 times out of the year and apologizes to them afterwards, so have you ever suggested he go see a therapist to help him resolve what may be anger issues? Also, have you considered getting the kids therapy so they can really open up about this to you and maybe another adult? Another thing you could both try as a couple is professional marriage counseling. To maybe help you get to the root of why exactly you are feeling like calling it quits on your marriage and what you and your husband can do to put the zing back into your marriage and life together again, if possible. janejjjjj5000, If what you are describing here is a case of emotional or verbal abuse, I suggest you first separate yourself and your kids from your husband and seek counseling for the kids and with him(professional marriage counselling) afterwards. 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Sirlancelort(m): 12:49pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
janejjjjj5000: You are an adult you should be responsible for your decisions, all this flimsy excuse just to be f***ing around. Mumu people everywhere 10 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Locikoo(m): 12:49pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
If it's not domestic violence please endure |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by slawormiir: 12:49pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
Damnnn niggar Isoright This woman supposed just tell us say she want change penis 83 Likes 12 Shares |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Cholls(m): 12:49pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
adeotiabdulaziz:
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| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by Flets: 12:50pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
Na lie ….. sounds so untrue. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Tired Of My Marriage by 2braithe: 12:50pm On Apr 22, 2022 |
This is not enough reason to leave a marriage. If he is not a domestic abuser nor a repeat philanderer,your ship can still sail. The next marriage you will enter(if you want to remarry),he might be worse. As for me, nothing concerns me with getting married The number of married people complaining is enough proof  8 Likes 1 Share |
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