₦airaland Forum

oz4real83:
Please edit your post and correct some of the words you use. Some of us reading it lose interest when we see statements like "her wife" or 'his husband" in Nigeria.

uuzba:
Make sure the person, loves you back.
A guy will be shifting heaven and earth to get one babe. Unknown to him, he is also keeping score/records..
When he finally marries the girl after all the challenges, he drops her in the collection box. He doesn't chase her again because he feels he has suffered enough to chase her the first time. Then he just starts using her to satisfy he needs and if she complains or starts talking about validation and her feelings, guy will land her heavy slap. Beatings commence from there
As I said, the guy was unknowing keeping records of her shakara and forming, during the premarital stage and is now revenging.

membranus:
"Lizards in jackets" keh? Wetin we do you?

Dis one na real see finis for we men.

Whatever ting we do you, mek you forgive us.

handsomeyitayo:
Hello Nairalanders

I do observe that most married couples don't find their selves attractive unlike when they started their relationship before marriage.

I have experienced three married couples like that.

I remember when this my neighbor brought her wife to be then, this man is very jelous and he always challenge her when he sees her chatting with guys in the compound but some years later, they did wedding and she gave birth to two lovely girls but now all those jealousy of those days, he is not doing that again even if he comes from work he will just over look the person chatting with his wife and he comes back late in the night.. weekend he will be indoor not minding the wife is outside still conversating with neighbors I mean male neighbors,but then who dares go near to interact with her before marriage.

Even the other couples they will be doing as if they don't know each other .. I learnt that he said he doesn't find her attractive no more but what made him marry her? Didn't he see the signs she is not attractive.

Even also it happens to ladies that will later say she is tired of her husband.

Hassanmaye:
blood of Zachariah! What if he's banging bitches?

purejustice36:
What I’ve learnt about this marriage is that , man shouldn’t let boredom be a reason why he’s considering getting married and overlooking some lil red flags

Bro no be say dem dey whine u
If you don’t have money don’t get married biko
That your understanding babe go soon see you finish small small

That your caring babe go soon dem show you some attitude small small , e go over pain you bc you sef know say na bc of money she dey do am

It’s better say woman you get money and woman insult you than say you no get money who come still insult you
The insult go really touch you when you no get money for hand , but when money dey , you go just freestyle , hop onto another have easily to cool head

That’s why I’ve made a decision to never stop hustling until I make so much for myself and my future , then find woman wey also they independent and Godly , marry jeje , if she still fvck up sef , I move , never trust anything woman with all your heart

Lights up my kpoli in peace

DIVINEEVIDENCE:
1. Marriage is hard work.
Loving your spouse above any other person out there, correcting their mistakes, overlooking their faults, covering up their behavioural flaws and seeing the beauty in them rather than their present annoying stance are hard psychological decisions.

Unfortunately, most of us are mentally lazy and would rather pass over issues than address them.
Same way we'll rather binge than fast, put off assignments till deadlines and so on.

2. See Finish:
The first time you fell in love with them, there was an aura of mystery around their personality.

But once you get married and the reality sets in that they're exclusively yours and going no where, a feeling of contempt sets in.
This is a purely natural feeling which you must strive to outgrow to respect that special person who decided to forgo all else and merge their destiny with yours.

Also, seeing someone naked and eventually having sex with them takes away the aura of mystery.

As such, strive to make your sex in marriage fulfilling, rewarding and satisfying.

This way, both of you naturally look forward to coming together again and your unclothedness would always stimulate, rather than nauseate, each other.

3. Skipping the friendship stage.

Immediately after your wedding, you should spend at least four days or more interacting with each other before having sex.

This is the first time you both will be together in such close proximity, with the liberty to explore each other in a lawful manner.

You should spend some time enjoying and exploring this phase of your life before crowning it with sex.

You'll be having sex for the next seventy years or more, why must you do it on your wedding night?

After all the stress of the ceremony coupled with the awkwardness of your first time being together as a family, sex should be the last thing on your mind.

Otherwise, you risk laying a faulty foundation that might never get fixed in marriage.

For the men, delay sex if you can, until your wife openly asks for it, which she would only do after she's exhausted her patience.

If you roundly satisfy her the first time, she would be the one initiating sex and you will find it easier getting her in the mood and to cloud nine.

(EVERY woman is a sex freak, capable of squirting, creaming and ejaculation. Let the right man handle your passive wife (God forbid) and you'll ask your ancestors why they never let you realise the kind of person you wifed.)

4. Flaws:
When a woman consistently cooks rubbish, for example and refuses to learn or improve.

Some men would jejely eat outside and gradually lose interest in coming home.

5. Passivity.
Lack of love expression: hugs, kisses, cuddling and innovative ness in the bedroom.

6. Money issues and unforseen circumstances as illness, congenital abnormalities etc.

7. Dark past kept hidden which the other partner uncovers through a third party.

8. Unmet Expectations such as a man finding out the church lead soloist he married was a dual carriage expressway with an odometer clocking in miles.

9. Juju:
Some people fit swear for your marriage o, especially if you follow for the ones wen dey pepper others for social media.

10. Running to Seed.
Developing potbelly, tying wrapper around the house, roaming the house topless (as a woman) or entirely naked, etc may make your partner tired.

As a rule, women should understand that less is always better.
A man will be more aroused with a fully clothed woman who is sitting carelessly with a part of her inner wear showing than one who is entirely naked.

Once you're out of bed, dress sexy.
Cover your boobs and vijeh so he doesn't get used to them.

Better be half-naked at home than fully naked.

Talk choke, but sha lemme stop here.

spiceadole:
That's his business.
I'm done with childbirth.
We rarely have se.x

olorunoba:
A friend use to tell me these longtime ago. When I finally married am experiencing the same. To me I think it is more spiritual that physical because the devil want to destroy the marriage he is not happy he Starts to manipulate the relationship immediate you cheat and break your marriage vows you are finish because you stop getting God promises on marriage. There is something special in that bond work on it. Never look back. He who finds a wife has found a good thing and obtains favour from the lord. The devil knows these and will like to always destroy that favour. B

kenny160:
I stopped to commend ur write-up as it is the best so far...u can make a good marriage-therapist kudos to you

DaddyCoool:
NOTHING is as sweet as FREEDOM. And that's one thing marriage takes away. Nothing can ever beat waking up knowing you can do and be with who you wish, especially if you are a man of means

handsomeyitayo:
can you explain that ? I want to know why ... because am scared of marriage. Nowadays couples are scaring us away from doing marriage. Most men are going through a lots in marriage they won't tell you..

Vinnie2000:
In Every Romantic Affairs that Last for long, Attractions is bound to GRADUALLY disappear.

Dat's why couples Must Re-invent themselves and change with the times.

As a Man, try different Hairstyles, lifestyles and Spoil ur Wife with Surprises.

For women, Maintain ur Figure, Dress sexy most times and be Spontaneous in the Oza room.
Buy African Roots for ur Husband and Give him Cowgirls, Doggy, Monkey, Angle 90 Sex styles, ,etc..

With Better Doccking b/w a Couple, Their Marriage MUST last.

DaddyCoool:
This is NOT true at all. People change. Situations change. And sometimes you may think you know someone, but you don't know them

winner37:
It depends on the type of food that will be prepared for me during the ten days . If food like Rice and sauce or pounded yam I don't mind eating it for ten days ..

Fortune118005:
The answer to this question is simple...


It is all about value.

Value makes you attractive irrespective of age.

For instance,

If a girl keeps doing hard to get and forming that and eventually agreeing for the guy, the guy will revenge for all the shakara and forming that the girl did and all the stress the guy passed through if she is not valuable.
Ladies who form too much and do shakara and do hard to get stuff, guys have high expectations from them and see them valuable but when the guy eventually or let me say luckily gets the girl and marry and sees that her value doesn't worth his stressful chasing and her hard to get behaviour, the guy might revenge back, that's the secret to some cases infidelity going on around us.

Girls that form hard to get, are they valuable enough to defend themselves for the guy to see her as high value?

The truth is if as a lady you love a man, you don't need to stress him too much for him to get you, that's a foolish mentality. Just be a valuable lady to him. Nowadays men are becoming scarce and if a lady keeps stressing a man for the man not to see her as a cheap person and the man realise that the value doesn't worth the stress, such lady looses afterwards. If the man sees that her value actually worth the stress of chasing that he passed through at the premarital stage, he will see her as gold, cherish her the more and see her more attractive and attractuve as years of their union rolls by. It also applies to men.

So, the value of your spouse to your life is more important than beauty/handsomeness or even riches. That is why anyone that want to venture into marriage must first of all, know his or her purpose on earth. Discovery and pursuit of your purpose on earth makes you a person of value especially to your partner and the society at large. Once this issue is solved, there will be no complaint of couples not finding each other attractive.

So in summary, be a man or a woman of value to your spouse and to the society I'm general.

PointZerom:
Bum shorts and makeups are abomination where I dey, I hate ladies that wear trousers.

naijapikin2:
I can only speak about what I've heard the men say:
Some women just tend to lower their guard after marriage. They now begin to tie wrapper Instead of putting on bum shorts for your man. Just generally leave themselves unkempt. Hair undone, teeth not brushed, hey ladies your men also like to see you do make up.

I'll be back with more...

Chee59:
I don't care if you no longer find your wife attractive, don't let Satan push you to me.

handsomeyitayo:
Hello Nairalanders

I do observe that most married couples don't find their selves attractive unlike when they started their relationship before marriage.

I have experienced three married couples like that.

I remember when this my neighbor brought her wife to be then, this man is very jelous and he always challenge her when he sees her chatting with guys in the compound but some years later, they did wedding and she gave birth to two lovely girls but now all those jealousy of those days, he is not doing that again even if he comes from work he will just over look the person chatting with his wife and he comes back late in the night.. weekend he will be indoor not minding the wife is outside still conversating with neighbors I mean male neighbors,but then who dares go near to interact with her before marriage.

Even the other couples they will be doing as if they don't know each other .. I learnt that he said he doesn't find her attractive no more but what made him marry her? Didn't he see the signs she is not attractive.

Even also it happens to ladies that will later say she is tired of her husband.

handsomeyitayo:
Hello Nairalanders

I do observe that most married couples don't find their selves attractive unlike when they started their relationship before marriage.

I have experienced three married couples like that.

I remember when this my neighbor brought her wife to be then, this man is very jelous and he always challenge her when he sees her chatting with guys in the compound but some years later, they did wedding and she gave birth to two lovely girls but now all those jealousy of those days, he is not doing that again even if he comes from work he will just over look the person chatting with his wife and he comes back late in the night.. weekend he will be indoor not minding the wife is outside still conversating with neighbors I mean male neighbors,but then who dares go near to interact with her before marriage.

Even the other couples they will be doing as if they don't know each other .. I learnt that he said he doesn't find her attractive no more but what made him marry her? Didn't he see the signs she is not attractive.

Even also it happens to ladies that will later say she is tired of her husband.

oz4real83:
Please edit your post and correct some of the words you use. Some of us reading it lose interest when we see statements like "her wife" or 'his husband" in Nigeria.

DonroxyII:
The Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility !

As each of Same substance is being consumed the satisfaction derivable increases but it reaches a point(dy/do = 0) and the Satisfaction derivable from the substances start declining even at same constant consumption overtime!