₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
I think you have this backward. What you see as marriage culture today is a culmination of societal practices and ideas/traditions that have been in place for at least the last 50 to 60 years in southern Nigeria. I say southern Nigeria because the North has been much different in its handling of marriage and issues related to marriage during that same time.


So, you shouldn't be concerned about what you call "wokeism" yet. Your attention should instead be directed at understanding where your ancestor went wrong as far as marriage to have led to what you see today.

That is why I like you - debating with facts.

So, based on that paper, divorce has tay'd. Hopefully, people stop parroting the tale that divorce rates were not rampant throughout Nigeria. It is even easier to divorce in Northern Nigeria than the south. Islam offers options for divorce.

Gerrard59:
That is why I like you - debating with facts.

So, based on that paper, divorce has tay'd. Hopefully, people stop parroting the tale that divorce rates were not rampant throughout Nigeria. It is even easier to divorce in Northern Nigeria than the south. Islam offers options for divorce.

As opposed to the case in the North, what has been in existence in the south is the wickedness of some of the worst kinds — marriage abandonment. It is divorce too but sadly, for those abandoned, it is a sentence that is worse than divorce, as they are left to live in the shame of being abandoned, hoping the one who abandoned them will someday remember them and come back to make them whole again. It's a fate that no one should wish on even his worst enemy as children raised in such situations are left scared by it for life, wondering why they were abandoned and hoping they could get a second chance to do better.

Kobojunkie:
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J087v21n03_08?journalCode=wjdr20
Notice that the major reason for these divorces even back in the 1980s was due to adultery in marriage. So, you can see how the image of life in marriage down in the south has been artificially kept the way it has for a long time by a culture of deceit.

this research was done on just one state, you can't use it to judge for all

anthonyuncle:
this research was done on just one state, you can't use it to judge for all

You want to pretend the trend was local to Plateau state alone, this in the 1980s?

Kobojunkie:
As opposed to the case in the North, what has been in existence in the south is the wickedness of some of the worst kinds — marriage abandonment. It is divorce too but sadly, for those abandoned, it is a sentence that is worse than divorce, as they are left to live in the shame of being abandoned, hoping the one who abandoned them will someday remember them and come back to make them whole again. It's a fate that no one should wish on even his worst enemy as children raised in such situations are left scared by it for life, wondering why they were abandoned and hoping they could get a second chance to do better.

Maybe those days, not these days with women's empowerment, greater economic opportunities, and a rise in individualism. Yes, it gets tough for a single-parent, male or female, but better prospects these days than in the '80s.

Gerrard59:
Maybe those days, not these days with women's empowerment, greater economic opportunities, and a rise in individualism. Yes, it gets tough for a single-parent, male or female, but better prospects these days than in the '80s.

With many in society haven experienced the devastating heartbreak of marital abandonment, society's opinions on divorce and abandonment has shifted tremendously. No longer as the victims of abandonment demonized, as a matter of fact, marital abandonment has now been recognized as a crime punishable by fines and possible imprisonment too. Also, divorce has ofcourse become more acceptable but there is still a long way to go.

Kobojunkie:
You want to pretend the trend was local to Plateau state alone, this in the 1980s?

your result says plateau

marlow1962:
Modern marriages are nothing but a transactional agreement between two morons.

Everybody now marries because of pussy,breast,nyash and money. You better die that idea of love when it comes to marriage.

Not everybody pretends. Not everybody can pretend.