Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,152,310 members, 7,815,562 topics. Date: Thursday, 02 May 2024 at 02:34 PM

My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me (22467 Views)

Wife Takes Sick Husband To Edo Hospital, Abandons Him There For Over 6 Months / Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually / Man Dances With Salsa Instructor, Wife Takes Him Home. Photos (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply) (Go Down)

My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by destiny4luv(m): 11:34am On Feb 07, 2023
Good day Nairalanders.l; let me go straight to the point. I work off-shore so most of the times I am not always around, some times I can be at work for three months and be given one or two weeks time- off that's just the nature of my job.

But they is something troubling me seriously, when I give my wife instructions regarding anything at all she will first of all ask my Mom before she carries out the instruction I give her, that's if my Mom is in support of the instruction. Recently I gave her an instruction regarding a particular matter while I was on time-off, only for my wife to call me fee weeks later that she has carried out the instruction when the time I told her to carry out that instruction is not yet. I was so mad at her I asked her why can't she wait till the time I told her to do it; she said my Mom came over to the house and told her to do it so she did it. At that point I cut the call.

Later that day my Mom called me and was asking why I cut the call on my wife and refused to pick her call even why she was calling back, I told her she was the course, and she said how, and I told her why will I give my wife instruction and u will come to counter that instruction without the both of u letting me know not after the did has been done. My Mom was angry that can't she have say in my home, I told her to an extent not to the point of countering my instructions. She was very angry we both had some argument on the phone before I told her am late for work I want to cut and she hang up, she knows I was seriously angry with her. Since that day she hasn't called me and I haven't called her too.

My wife called me and apologized that it won't happen again. I forgive her and we both made amend. Now my Mom is not talking to me and my wife at the moment. Please what I did was it wrong or did I over reacted?

I love and respect my Mom likewise my wife, but I won't want her to control my home for me. Should I call her and apologize to her or just let her be till her mind comes down?

32 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by thesicilian: 11:36am On Feb 07, 2023
You should be happy it's your mom and not her own.

But on a more serious note, from your own explanation it seems you're overreacting

188 Likes 7 Shares

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by VeryWickedMan: 11:41am On Feb 07, 2023
OP stand in front of a mirror.
See?

You look like a weakling.

80 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by Saintmary(f): 11:46am On Feb 07, 2023
destiny4luv:
Good day Nairalanders.l; let me go straight to the point. I work off-shore so most of the times I am not always around, some times I can be at work for three months and be given one or two weeks time- off that's just the nature of my job.

But they is something troubling me seriously, when I give my wife instructions regarding anything at all she will first of all ask my Mom before she carries out the instruction I give her, that's if my Mom is in support of the instruction. Recently I gave her an instruction regarding a particular matter while I was on time-off, only for my wife to call me fee weeks later that she has carried out the instruction when the time I told her to carry out that instruction is not yet. I was so mad at her I asked her why can't she wait till the time I told her to do it; she said my Mom came over to the house and told her to do it so she did it. At that point I cut the call.

Later that day my Mom called me and was asking why I cut the call on my wife and refused to pick her call even why she was calling back, I told her she was the course, and she said how, and I told her why will I give my wife instruction and u will come to counter that instruction without the both of u letting me know not after the did has been done. My Mom was angry that can't she have say in my home, I told her to an extent not to the point of countering my instructions. She was very angry we both had some argument on the phone before I told her am late for work I want to cut and she hang up, she knows I was seriously angry with her. Since that day she hasn't called me and I haven't called her too.

My wife called me and apologized that it won't happen again. I forgive her and we both made amend. Now my Mom is not talking to me and my wife at the moment. Please what I did was it wrong or did I over reacted?

I love and respect my Mom likewise my wife, but I won't want her to control my home for me. Should I call her and apologize to her or just let her be till her mind comes down?


Take some time before you apologize to your mother with gifts.


What you did was right, a man is the leader of his home, Grandma should understand and respect your position


As for your wife, she is very wrong to discuss your private matters with your Mom, a mature woman will know how to balance things, so, give her stern warning before you let the matter go.


You have done no wrong here except for your heated argument with your Mom.

150 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by Beremx(f): 11:57am On Feb 07, 2023
You reconciled with your wife and left your mum angry. Now she's angry with both of you.
Your mum shouldn't be interfering in your marriage though. Try and reconcile with her

61 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by Natbrowny: 12:15pm On Feb 07, 2023
Summary.

Your mum married your wife. Making her the husband
U were just a witness who appends signature of the marriage form.

32 Likes

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by gasparpisciotta: 12:17pm On Feb 07, 2023
Bros you should understand that your wife needs someone close by to run things through before she can her decide on what to do.

The bottom line is she carried out your instructions but earlier than you planned.

On the other hand, tell your wife to inform you if she plans to amend any part of your instructions that seem unclear, instead of running it through a third party in this case your mum.

Would you have preferred she runs it through her own Mum, or somebody else?

Lesson: stop leaving your wife to live alone...if your mum no dey to be her company, neighbour go take over, your friend sef fit take over.

Loneliness is the enemy of a married woman

154 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by Ballzproblem2: 12:35pm On Feb 07, 2023
your mother is angry she is no longer in charge, make she go rest one side joor

34 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by WiszyFraud: 12:35pm On Feb 07, 2023
Did you know??



The worst prison in the world is a home without peace, be careful who you marry.

If you like ignore this.


lipsrsealed

34 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by NothingDoMe: 12:36pm On Feb 07, 2023
destiny4luv:
Good day Nairalanders.l; let me go straight to the point. I work off-shore so most of the times I am not always around, some times I can be at work for three months and be given one or two weeks time- off that's just the nature of my job.

But they is something troubling me seriously, when I give my wife instructions regarding anything at all she will first of all ask my Mom before she carries out the instruction I give her, that's if my Mom is in support of the instruction. Recently I gave her an instruction regarding a particular matter while I was on time-off, only for my wife to call me fee weeks later that she has carried out the instruction when the time I told her to carry out that instruction is not yet. I was so mad at her I asked her why can't she wait till the time I told her to do it; she said my Mom came over to the house and told her to do it so she did it. At that point I cut the call.

Later that day my Mom called me and was asking why I cut the call on my wife and refused to pick her call even why she was calling back, I told her she was the course, and she said how, and I told her why will I give my wife instruction and u will come to counter that instruction without the both of u letting me know not after the did has been done. My Mom was angry that can't she have say in my home, I told her to an extent not to the point of countering my instructions. She was very angry we both had some argument on the phone before I told her am late for work I want to cut and she hang up, she knows I was seriously angry with her. Since that day she hasn't called me and I haven't called her too.

My wife called me and apologized that it won't happen again. I forgive her and we both made amend. Now my Mom is not talking to me and my wife at the moment. Please what I did was it wrong or did I over reacted?

I love and respect my Mom likewise my wife, but I won't want her to control my home for me. Should I call her and apologize to her or just let her be till her mind comes down?
Working offshore has its own challenges. Your wife cannot always call you concerning decisions because you're not always going to be reachable. She has to adapt to a certain level of decision making that includes change of plans without prior consultation. She might see it that it's better to execute the said instruction earlier.

You didn't say if her decision caused any negative consequences so I assume it didn't. Since nobody died, I suggest you let it slide.

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by bewla(m): 12:36pm On Feb 07, 2023
U

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by freshkpomo(m): 12:36pm On Feb 07, 2023

She is a wise woman. So it's left for you to be a wise man and take her far from your Mom if you are not comfortable with it.

Modified: OP na boy You still be. Things like this can cause a bug gap in your family and then they will tag your wife the bad person which the poor woman have been trying to avoid.

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by Juanmike(m): 12:37pm On Feb 07, 2023
What a SIMPle thing to ask.
Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by GloriousGbola: 12:37pm On Feb 07, 2023
Your wife and mum are happily collaboing and you are complaining. Definitely another redpiller making up a story.

23 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by tishbite42: 12:37pm On Feb 07, 2023
Chai grin
grin grin cheesy grin
Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by bestman09(m): 12:37pm On Feb 07, 2023
You should be glad it's your mom, not hers or even outsiders.

Learn to take charge of your home anyway

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by Winters23: 12:37pm On Feb 07, 2023
grin

You mean your mum hijacked your marriage?


Maybe wife figured you're still a boy. Don't worry mami will release your wife to you when you become a man.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by BabaCommander: 12:38pm On Feb 07, 2023
I can see Jezebel's hand here.
Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by Wizpa(m): 12:38pm On Feb 07, 2023
grin
Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by ursullalinda(f): 12:39pm On Feb 07, 2023
I think is fear....your wife doesn't want to hurt your mum.....so you checkmate your mum and make sure she doesn't cross her boundaries..... Make peace with her and reaffirm your stand.

13 Likes

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by BabaCommander: 12:39pm On Feb 07, 2023
gasparpisciotta:
Bros you should understand that your wife needs someone close by to run things through before she can her decide on what to do.

The bottom line is she carried out your instructions but earlier than you planned.

On the other hand, tell your wife to inform you if she plans to amend any part of your instructions that seem unclear, instead of running it through a third party in this case your mum.

Would you have preferred she runs it through her own Mum, or somebody else?

Lesson: stop leaving your wife to live alone...if your mum no dey to be her company, neighbour go take over, your friend sef fit take over.

Loneliness is the enemy of a married woman

Oga stop all these sermon.



His wife is still a kid, and the only advice she needs is to GROW UP.
Op, tell your wife to GROW UP

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by Criicket: 12:39pm On Feb 07, 2023
Hmmm

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by Coolsperm: 12:40pm On Feb 07, 2023
Op calm down, by the way you are better than Tinubu that can not think for him sef,

1 Like

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by atilla(m): 12:41pm On Feb 07, 2023
Op you did the right thing. They will both respect you for it later on

1 Like

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by zoedew: 12:42pm On Feb 07, 2023
You are not yet well positioned to be married.
1. Folks in your line of work do the job for a set number of years and then they get married. It is not ideal for married people.
2. Who does your type of job and gets married must be willing to manage the home front by proxy.
3. It would appear that your mum has stepped into your role as a husband to your wife when it comes to decision making. Clearly unavoidable in all the circumstances.
4. Best for you to play along until you are done with offshore career that has made an absentee husband of you!

9 Likes

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by LifeOfTrigga(m): 12:42pm On Feb 07, 2023
Your mom wife na lesbians? 😂
Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by Goodlady(f): 12:42pm On Feb 07, 2023
destiny4luv:


My wife called me and apologized that it won't happen again. I forgive her and we both made amend. Now my Mom is not talking to me and my wife at the moment. Please what I did was it wrong or did I over reacted?

I love and respect my Mom likewise my wife, but I won't want her to control my home for me. Should I call her and apologize to her or just let her be till her mind comes down?
Your mom loves you and it's good she's bonding well with your wife.
Try and be a real man by visiting your mom n talk to her

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by oyeb15: 12:43pm On Feb 07, 2023
It's better cos you are not responsible and your wife knows that.
Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by Nobody: 12:43pm On Feb 07, 2023
grin

Shouldn't you be Happy about that ?

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Takes More Instructions From My Mom Than Me by TheFreshVanilla: 12:43pm On Feb 07, 2023
undecided

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply)

Sick Homeless Man Spotted In Gwarimpa, Abuja (Photos) / Bringing A Househelp From Nigeria To London. Pls Advise! / Divorce: Court Dissolves Asiya Ganduje & Inuwa Uba's Marriage

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 56
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.