₦airaland Forum

felixtare:
Sorry are you married?
Am totally convince that you will make a good wife

Not yet married.

1. Poor wify, perhaps she is trending carefully not to have collision with your mother since you are always not around.
2. Or she noticed you are too fond of your mother and you will not be there if she cross path with your mother.
3. I can smell fear here. If I don't want to loose my marriage I better "worship" and take "orders" from mama. The fear of mama is the beginning of wisdom.
Wise woman that want to build her home at all cost.
On your mama,
Have you not make her a "watch guard" over your house when you are not around. She is simply carrying out your instructions or what do you expect from over zealous "guards"

Please apologize to mama, give your wife confidence that you are with her as well.

First things first, why can't some people here just advise someone without name calling or defamation of character. Secondly op, you did the right thing. No man likes to be undermined or left in the dark about his home affairs. Mumsy will understand, and call her to say hello or visit her as if nothing happened. Life continues. And for those saying he should be glad that it is his mum, before nko? That's why I like oyibo, once they get married, everybody else is a stranger to them, including their own parents and siblings.

2dream:
U should count it all lucky it was ur mum and not her,

I understand d nature of ur job

But ur wife need a companions
That's y she always run to ur mum

U know ur mum better

Stop over reacting,

Be a man and reconcile with ur mum

Thanks. Noted.🙏

ambale:
You married a good woman and here you are complaining

If na one small boy for adugbo come be her confidant nko

You better rush to beg your mum and tell her to help you watch over her

You will leave home for three months and you want make she dey folo your idea like mumu

I pray she doesn't find another bestie wey go teach her bad things

Leave the werey 🤣😂

Your wife is terrified of your mum, which is understandable based on your mum's reaction.

GudPpleG8Nation:
Destiny4luv, you are not always around. It's better and reasonable your wife is bound with your mom than her mom or outsider.

Please apologize to your mom and don't try to separate the bond between your wife and your mom. Try to discuss what you want with your wife in a calm way but not to discredit your mom.

🙏

tradepunter:
Mumu man you are never home and you angry your wife is close to your mom..... If like continue your stupidity nah another man go dy shine her congo.... Rubbish

Why all these insults? Just shows how shallow you are

Thank God it's your mum And not hers or a friend. Your mum Will always have your interest at heart.

ceejayluv:
Thank God it's your mum And not hers or a friend. Your mum Will always have your interest at heart.

Stop typing nonsense.

Well,you did no wrong but you can't keep malice with your mom for too long. When you re back from off shore,call your mom and straighten things with her but make it clear to her that you must be consulted before decision concerning your home is made and at all times.

Nobody should make decisions on your behalf while you re still active and nobody should flout your instructions either.

Handle things maturely

Itzlinda:
Leave the werey 🤣😂

If he sure for am, make he just drop the woman contact make we help him advise her

Funny man they form hard man dere

When Dem begin nack your wife 2by2, your head go correct😂😂😂

You did the right thing and your useless mom should be the one apologizing to you. She has no business or authority in your house or over your wife. She should know her place and overstep. All these useless mummy boys are irritating.

destiny4luv:
Like seriously, so should we call her to apologize?

Apologize but do it from a position of strength. Make your stand known to her but also appreciate her for being there when you're not.

You did nothing wrong.

Though you need to apologize to your mum but that does not mean she has unfettered control over your family. The purpose is just to reconcile with her.

Let your wife know that you are in charge of your home, not your mum, even if she's staying with you.

promiseland245:
What most men are looking for is what you are complaining for.
Your wife is close to your mum, your plan is to find a way to manage it to your advantage.
Your mum knows what is good for you, your wife I presume also desire what is best for you (I am not disputing the fact that you know what is good for yourself also).
Please this combination is to your advantage, it's rare these days and a golden opportunity, use it well.

You are an offshore worker, the challenges sposues left at home by offshore workers face are numerous, yours is close to your mother, you should be in church doing Thanksgiving.

Make peace with both of them and enjoy what God has blessed your home with because some homes are looking for this friendship between Mum & wide but can't seem to find it.

Thank u very mucho, I drop this here because I needed advice and I think urs is one I will abide to. Thanks once again 🙏

destiny4luv:
Good day Nairalanders.l; let me go straight to the point. I work off-shore so most of the times I am not always around, some times I can be at work for three months and be given one or two weeks time- off that's just the nature of my job.

But they is something troubling me seriously, when I give my wife instructions regarding anything at all she will first of all ask my Mom before she carries out the instruction I give her, that's if my Mom is in support of the instruction. Recently I gave her an instruction regarding a particular matter while I was on time-off, only for my wife to call me fee weeks later that she has carried out the instruction when the time I told her to carry out that instruction is not yet. I was so mad at her I asked her why can't she wait till the time I told her to do it; she said my Mom came over to the house and told her to do it so she did it. At that point I cut the call.

Later that day my Mom called me and was asking why I cut the call on my wife and refused to pick her call even why she was calling back, I told her she was the course, and she said how, and I told her why will I give my wife instruction and u will come to counter that instruction without the both of u letting me know not after the did has been done. My Mom was angry that can't she have say in my home, I told her to an extent not to the point of countering my instructions. She was very angry we both had some argument on the phone before I told her am late for work I want to cut and she hang up, she knows I was seriously angry with her. Since that day she hasn't called me and I haven't called her too.

My wife called me and apologized that it won't happen again. I forgive her and we both made amend. Now my Mom is not talking to me and my wife at the moment. Please what I did was it wrong or did I over reacted?

I love and respect my Mom likewise my wife, but I won't want her to control my home for me. Should I call her and apologize to her or just let her be till her mind comes down?

You did the right thing my brother. Was your mother joined together with your wife as a couple?. Let her be she will blend with you. Please don't be afraid to offend anyone except GOD especially when it is for your good.

It's obvious you are not responsible and matured and that's why your wife thinks the best person to run to is your mother .

Trust me it's for your own best interest at least your mom won't give her bad advice .

I will advice you to calm down so that u won't put enemity between your wife and your mom ( worst situation you will find your self in).

Call your mother and make amends.

Just be a man and calm down and let them be . Face your work with time things will be alright.

Best of luck.

destiny4luv:
Good day Nairalanders.l; let me go straight to the point. I work off-shore so most of the times I am not always around, some times I can be at work for three months and be given one or two weeks time- off that's just the nature of my job.

But they is something troubling me seriously, when I give my wife instructions regarding anything at all she will first of all ask my Mom before she carries out the instruction I give her, that's if my Mom is in support of the instruction. Recently I gave her an instruction regarding a particular matter while I was on time-off, only for my wife to call me fee weeks later that she has carried out the instruction when the time I told her to carry out that instruction is not yet. I was so mad at her I asked her why can't she wait till the time I told her to do it; she said my Mom came over to the house and told her to do it so she did it. At that point I cut the call.

Later that day my Mom called me and was asking why I cut the call on my wife and refused to pick her call even why she was calling back, I told her she was the course, and she said how, and I told her why will I give my wife instruction and u will come to counter that instruction without the both of u letting me know not after the did has been done. My Mom was angry that can't she have say in my home, I told her to an extent not to the point of countering my instructions. She was very angry we both had some argument on the phone before I told her am late for work I want to cut and she hang up, she knows I was seriously angry with her. Since that day she hasn't called me and I haven't called her too.

My wife called me and apologized that it won't happen again. I forgive her and we both made amend. Now my Mom is not talking to me and my wife at the moment. Please what I did was it wrong or did I over reacted?

I love and respect my Mom likewise my wife, but I won't want her to control my home for me. Should I call her and apologize to her or just let her be till her mind comes down?

I didn't read through, she loves you no doubt but your mother is in the way so she is playing her game tight and safe no as not to turn enemy with your mom

Games women play.

Your wife finally have what she want.

Foodqueen:
Games women play.

Your wife finally have what she want.

She is a clever woman....

cassyrooy:
While I understand that you should be a bit more angry, take a time off and be grateful that;

1. She rather turn to your mom than hers, or to friends and outsiders.

2. She follows instructions but not as at when you instructed (lacking timing).

But be careful how you react, you're more detached from home and may not be feeling the emotional side that makes people waver impulsively.

Correct her but respond to her calls whether you're happy or angry with her, else, you lose the marriage completely.

Don't follow people who don't know what it takes to build a stable and strong relationship on Nairaland.

🙏

albert2512:
U did the right thing but still call and apologize to her. She must have learnt 1 or 2 things from your correction.

To add bros, it is better for you for your mum n wife to be at peace than to be quarreling.

Also, I hope your wife is not trying to manipulate you against your mother. If that is the case, u might be in a bigger shit than you think. U need serious wisdom as your wife seems to have seen your weakness. She knows what to do exactly to make you angry.

He said it as it is

Na you dey find story

Dchampion65:
1. Poor wify, perhaps she is trending carefully not to have collision with your mother since you are always not around.
2. Or she noticed you are too fond of your mother and you will not be there if she cross path with your mother.
3. I can smell fear here. If I don't want to loose my marriage I better "worship" and take "orders" from mama. The fear of mama is the beginning of wisdom.
Wise woman that want to build her home at all cost.
On your mama,
Have you not make her a "watch guard" over your house when you are not around. She is simply carrying out your instructions or what do you expect from over zealous "guards"

Please apologize to mama, give your wife confidence that you are with her as well.

Truth be told, I am the only son of my Mother and the last born at that. Before I got married my Mom is my best best friend and I share every idea and secrets with her. But I think she is trying to bring that dominance as a Mother into my home, I am not against it, but they should be boundaries that's all. Thanks for ur advice. We all will make amends.

Be careful with your anger.

And be careful with who you are angry with.

But the time is enough, no more malice.

destiny4luv:
Good day Nairalanders.l; let me go straight to the point. I work off-shore so most of the times I am not always around, some times I can be at work for three months and be given one or two weeks time- off that's just the nature of my job.

But they is something troubling me seriously, when I give my wife instructions regarding anything at all she will first of all ask my Mom before she carries out the instruction I give her, that's if my Mom is in support of the instruction. Recently I gave her an instruction regarding a particular matter while I was on time-off, only for my wife to call me fee weeks later that she has carried out the instruction when the time I told her to carry out that instruction is not yet. I was so mad at her I asked her why can't she wait till the time I told her to do it; she said my Mom came over to the house and told her to do it so she did it. At that point I cut the call.

Later that day my Mom called me and was asking why I cut the call on my wife and refused to pick her call even why she was calling back, I told her she was the course, and she said how, and I told her why will I give my wife instruction and u will come to counter that instruction without the both of u letting me know not after the did has been done. My Mom was angry that can't she have say in my home, I told her to an extent not to the point of countering my instructions. She was very angry we both had some argument on the phone before I told her am late for work I want to cut and she hang up, she knows I was seriously angry with her. Since that day she hasn't called me and I haven't called her too.

My wife called me and apologized that it won't happen again. I forgive her and we both made amend. Now my Mom is not talking to me and my wife at the moment. Please what I did was it wrong or did I over reacted?

I love and respect my Mom likewise my wife, but I won't want her to control my home for me. Should I call her and apologize to her or just let her be till her mind comes down?

GOD BLESS YOUR WIFE SIR! Idk what my fellow men really want? Lol. In this generation, you find a wife who's living peacefully with your mum and obeying her but you're still complaining?? LOL!! My chairman, remember it's your mother you're talking about here and she has control over You!! You're still a SON to her. Please be happy for what you have. You can also respectfully talk to mama about the situation and let her understand you wsnt to remain the Commander of your territory. Do so respectfully please. God bless!

destiny4luv:
Good day Nairalanders.l; let me go straight to the point. I work off-shore so most of the times I am not always around, some times I can be at work for three months and be given one or two weeks time- off that's just the nature of my job.

But they is something troubling me seriously, when I give my wife instructions regarding anything at all she will first of all ask my Mom before she carries out the instruction I give her, that's if my Mom is in support of the instruction. Recently I gave her an instruction regarding a particular matter while I was on time-off, only for my wife to call me fee weeks later that she has carried out the instruction when the time I told her to carry out that instruction is not yet. I was so mad at her I asked her why can't she wait till the time I told her to do it; she said my Mom came over to the house and told her to do it so she did it. At that point I cut the call.

Later that day my Mom called me and was asking why I cut the call on my wife and refused to pick her call even why she was calling back, I told her she was the course, and she said how, and I told her why will I give my wife instruction and u will come to counter that instruction without the both of u letting me know not after the did has been done. My Mom was angry that can't she have say in my home, I told her to an extent not to the point of countering my instructions. She was very angry we both had some argument on the phone before I told her am late for work I want to cut and she hang up, she knows I was seriously angry with her. Since that day she hasn't called me and I haven't called her too.

My wife called me and apologized that it won't happen again. I forgive her and we both made amend. Now my Mom is not talking to me and my wife at the moment. Please what I did was it wrong or did I over reacted?

I love and respect my Mom likewise my wife, but I won't want her to control my home for me. Should I call her and apologize to her or just let her be till her mind comes down?

Walai you wicked true true!!!

VeryWickedMan:
OP stand in front of a mirror.
See?

You look like a weakling.

Let her be till her mind comes down, and not only that, until she shows appreciative continual signs of recognizing and respecting your rights to liberty in words and deeds. Provided that all you said is the truth of all that transpired among you. When that is done, you can then continue treating her queenly as every diligent mother, wife, and sane human being in general should under normal circumstances. Your goal should always be striving to do what you know is right at any given time, just as you did under the scenario, regardless of how palatable or unpalatable it seems.

The highest and most fulfilling point of living remains striving to do anything you know is right at any given time without minding losing anyone or anything on principle.

Kholiwe:
You did the right thing and your useless mom should be the one apologizing to you. She has no business or authority in your house or over your wife. She should know her place and overstep. All these useless mummy boys are irritating.

U are mad, is ur mother that is useless. What is wrong with u children of nowadays. Jesus.....

destiny4luv:
Good day Nairalanders.l; let me go straight to the point. I work off-shore so most of the times I am not always around, some times I can be at work for three months and be given one or two weeks time- off that's just the nature of my job.

But they is something troubling me seriously, when I give my wife instructions regarding anything at all she will first of all ask my Mom before she carries out the instruction I give her, that's if my Mom is in support of the instruction. Recently I gave her an instruction regarding a particular matter while I was on time-off, only for my wife to call me fee weeks later that she has carried out the instruction when the time I told her to carry out that instruction is not yet. I was so mad at her I asked her why can't she wait till the time I told her to do it; she said my Mom came over to the house and told her to do it so she did it. At that point I cut the call.

Later that day my Mom called me and was asking why I cut the call on my wife and refused to pick her call even why she was calling back, I told her she was the course, and she said how, and I told her why will I give my wife instruction and u will come to counter that instruction without the both of u letting me know not after the did has been done. My Mom was angry that can't she have say in my home, I told her to an extent not to the point of countering my instructions. She was very angry we both had some argument on the phone before I told her am late for work I want to cut and she hang up, she knows I was seriously angry with her. Since that day she hasn't called me and I haven't called her too.

My wife called me and apologized that it won't happen again. I forgive her and we both made amend. Now my Mom is not talking to me and my wife at the moment. Please what I did was it wrong or did I over reacted?

I love and respect my Mom likewise my wife, but I won't want her to control my home for me. Should I call her and apologize to her or just let her be till her mind comes down?

Bros dey calm down! Seems you have anger problem. Learn to control your temper and act wisely otherwise this thing will backfire on you. I suspect your wife respects your mum so much, and you are displaying so much respect for your mum right in front of her eyes, when it backfires on you, don’t come back here crying

destiny4luv:
U are mad, is ur mother that is useless. What is wrong with u children of nowadays. Jesus.....

You never see anything, you just go insult from a stranger because of the way you addressed your mum. When your wife starts her own, you will wish you could turn back the hands of time and relive the moments she was calling your mum

Aliou007:
GOD BLESS YOUR WIFE SIR! Idk what my fellow men really want? Lol. In this generation, you find a wife who's living peacefully with your mum and obeying her but you're still complaining?? LOL!! My chairman, remember it's your mother you're talking about here and she has control over You!! You're still a SON to her. Please be happy for what you have. You can also respectfully talk to mama about the situation and let her understand you wsnt to remain the Commander of your territory. Do so respectfully please. God bless!

Thank u Sir.