₦airaland Forum

flourishing247:
African marriages are mostly one sided. The women give their all until they are drained. While the men get a free pass in almost everything.
Did you notice how everyone is calling the woman names? He's not even sure she's done anything with this guy after marriage. All I see is an emotional attachment. This is usually caused by emptiness. If this story were the other way round. Nobody will support the wife. They will tell her men are polygamous by nature.🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️.

This home can be restored. Deep communication is needed to resolve this. Na why e good to be matured to enter marriage. No be child's play.

So a married woman begging her ex for attention seems normal to you? Of all the people she could cling on to fill her emptiness it's her ex...just pause and read what you wrote.

The only way that marriage can be restored like someone rightfully pointed out is if the ex lover chooses to withdraw from her.

Anything aside that, the op should know that his wife doesn't fully belong to him.

Onulum:
Please, I need candid advice.
I barred my wife from talking with one of her ex that I am uncomfortable with and have some suspicion.

Yesterday, he called her and she ignored and claimed it was a flash because I was around, at least I think so. I called him back and when he knew I was the one, he ended the call and switched of the phone.

Yesterday evening, I realized that my wife tried reaching out to him and even sent him a text.

The text is attached here.

I feel my suspicion has been confirmed.

What should I do? I'm thinking of ending the marriage.

Dont take it too harsh or personal on her

From the tone of your write up, you are already angry

Just wake her up and talk with her

There must be one or two things you are not properly doing right and you know those things and you feel you can't kill yourself

See, women goes through alot of challenges from the opposite sex

They chase even married women and especially those who have a husband that doesn't give them love and attention, may fall into their sweet mouth

No matter how a woman looks, another man is already admiring her

Take it calm with her, She may open up and you guys will work it out as a team

flourishing247:
African marriages are mostly one sided. The women give their all until they are drained. While the men get a free pass in almost everything.
Did you notice how everyone is calling the woman names? He's not even sure she's done anything with this guy after marriage. All I see is an emotional attachment. This is usually caused by emptiness. If this story were the other way round. Nobody will support the wife. They will tell her men are polygamous by nature.🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️.

This home can be restored. Deep communication is needed to resolve this. Na why e good to be matured to enter marriage. No be child's play.

A series of claps and nods, and then the feet join and soon the whole body is dancing to the tune of the music. An emotional attachment with one who's not your partner is a dangerous thing. She's not done anything with the other man. YET.

It's an unfortunate event. I do not think any sort of communication will sort this out. She's deeply entangled with that Ex. You see the heartfelt message she sent? No be child's play like you said. I don't know if I'm mature enough to deal with stuff like this.

Hate to be pessimistic, but some things can't be fixed. I wish them well.

Do you have children? If yes, then go and check if they are yours then you should be worried about the ex infecting your wife

KanwuliaExtra:
The good old sweet days when I used to do such things as a wife.
Hide and seek love(aka extra-marital runz-kerrwa) dey sweet sha!
No regrets at all.

OP. . . .Just face your corner.
She go soon taya ke! It gets boring running the streets after a while.
You nor see say I don taya to waka for NL?
Haba. . . .Don't be too selfish with your love jare.
SHIAARRRING IS KIARRRRRING!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VrFQqYJ5-Y

I no believe say you don retire, he still dey your bodi!

Skyview01:
I no believe say you don retire, he still dey your bodi!

Naaaaaa. . . . I can't be bothered with all that. Had my fair share.
You gat to know when to fold, hold or run. Like an old 'gambler'.

For this day and age? . . . I can not afford to fall into the hands of any MUNGO PARK o!
They can only look. . . . . . but they will never DEBE.
I will sleep on my bed and be looking fresh and pretty.
Blokos don taya me abeg!

Someone made a comment that caught my eye, they said "you married someone's wife".

And it is not just the op but many men and women end up with another person's spouse because they were not discerning enough.

My advice, never force a relationship, never marry someone you love more than they love you.

The only way forward is to end it. She's not urs. Never was and never will be except ur willing to share her. For all those trying to blame the dude Instead of seeking for what's missing outside why is it hard for u to look within and work on wtv it is that's missing? Going out to look for it is the first error and the beginning of the ending for the marriage. Her ex for that matter. Even if the ex dumps her now she still wouldn't be complete without wtv void he's been filling no matter how hard the husband tries he will always be second fiddle, spare tire,side nigga to his legally married wife

yemmit90:
He dare not do that, otherwise he wont caught her ever again. The best way to catch a cheating wife is to play ignorant and at the same time looks out for solid evidence.

Well !; What other evidence does he want ? Lies and dishonesty is on the table already. The earlier he gets this over with the better for all e of them

frozen70:
Dont take it too harsh or personal on her

From the tone of your write up, you are already angry

Just wake her up and talk with her

There must be one or two things you are not properly doing right and you know those things and you feel you can't kill yourself

See, women goes through alot of challenges from the opposite sex

They chase even married women and especially those who have a husband that doesn't give them love and attention, may fall into their sweet mouth

No matter how a woman looks, another man is already admiring her

Take it calm with her, She may open up and you guys will work it out as a team

I dont know if its just me....but why do u women like painting a picture that ur infidelity is always because ur man made u do it....that he must be doing something wrong and the man should be calm to investigate how its his fault and fix the cheating woman... u guys dont know how this explantion sounds...

U even backed it up with an excuse..."women go through alot of challenges from the opposite sex" ....
I dont get...how do u push the dirty cheating action of married women on the men that admire them? Its irritatingly ridiculous...you are justifying cheating and i bet u cant tell this to your own brother or son......

advanceDNA:
I dont know if its just me....but why do u women like painting a picture that ur infidelity is always because ur man made u do it....that he must be doing something wrong and the man should be calm to investigate how its his fault and fix the cheating woman... u guys dont know how this explantion sounds...

U even backed it up with an excuse..."women go through alot of challenges from the opposite sex" ....
I dont get...how do u push the dirty cheating action of married women on the men that admire them? Its irritatingly ridiculous...you are justifying cheating and i bet u cant tell this to your own brother or son......

Ok you have concluded

Tell me one good reason why men cheats

frozen70:
Ok you have concluded

Tell me one good reason why men cheats

I ddnt conclude....its what u said..and i notice it alot on this forum.... u said the man should be looking for wat he did wrong as if women are not greedy for multiple penis like men are greedy..
.as if women dont go back to the exes that use to fvck them , which has nothing to do with what their husband did or ddnt do

Men cheat becos they greedy...No discipline yo control lust and their penis that need less than a micro second to stand erect... ..

...if a person hops from one pvssy to another b4 marriage with no discipline, a ring on ur finger or marriage certificate will not reset the greed appetite u have been used to....thats why men cheat.....and its the same for women.... u women just like to hide and pretend u only fvck because men make u do it...

See ..we all lust...both men and women...its what u do with it that makes u responsible or a dirty human being with no boundries or control...

saying someone made u do irresponsible and expect the person shoukd fix u..is the highest form of witchcraft and manipulation ive ever heard

advanceDNA:
I ddnt conclude....its what u said..and i notice it alot on this forum.... u said the man should be looking for wat he did wrong as if women are not greedy for multiple penis like men are greedy..
.as if women dont go back to the exes that use to fvck them , which has nothing to do with what their husband did or ddnt do

Men cheat becos they greedy...No discipline yo control lust and their penis that need less than a micro second to stand erect... ..

...if a person hops from one pvssy to another b4 marriage with no discipline, a ring on ur finger or marriage certificate will not reset the greed appetite u have been used to....thats why men cheat.....and its the same for women.... u women just like to hide and pretend u only fvck because men make u do it...

See ..we all lust...both men and women...its what u do with it that makes u responsible or a dirty human being with no boundries or control...

saying someone made u do irresponsible and expect the person shoukd fix u..is the highest form of witchcraft and manipulation ive ever heard

Dey play,

I don't see what I wrote that was a wrong sentence

Honestly if you can't cope, send her home and get another one

Once you remove a dog at home and bring in a pusy cat, you still have a domestic animal as a pet

frozen70:
Dey play,

I don't see what I wrote that was a wrong sentence

Honestly if you can't cope, send her home and get another one

Once you remove a dog at home and bring in a pusy cat, you still have a domestic animal as a pet

What u wrote that is wrong is saying a full grown cheating adult is not at fault for her actions ....and her husband should be looking for what he did to make her cheat and fix her....... if ur husband cheats on u woman and tell u its ur fault .....u no go say sense no dey hin head

Richy4:
Lord have mercy
With that emotional display up there, I will quickly run a HIV test to ascertain my status first before any other thing commences...

It's still suspected cheating though.

NoToPile:
It's still suspected cheating though.

That 1000 kilowatt of Emotions is capable of activating some mumu buttons in someone like me back then... That statement is straight from the heart...

One can't invest that kind of emotions on someone that aren't his or her better half...

If I mistakenly stumble on something like that, I swear I will sleep in a hotel for two or three days thinking at the same time checking myself health wise...

Richy4:

That 1000 kilowatt of Emotions is capable of activating some mumu buttons in someone like me back then... That statement is straight from the heart...

One can't invest that kind of emotions on someone that aren't his or her better half...

If I mistakenly stumble on something like that, I swear I will sleep in a hotel for two or three days thinking at the same time checking myself health wise...

@bolded Awwww ehyaah



I would be worried about the text too if I was a guy sha.

KanwuliaExtra:
The good old sweet days when I used to do such things as a wife.
Hide and seek love(aka extra-marital runz-kerrwa) dey sweet sha!
No regrets at all.

OP. . . .Just face your corner.
She go soon taya ke! It gets boring running the streets after a while.
You nor see say I don taya to waka for NL?
Haba. . . .Don't be too selfish with your love jare.
SHIAARRRING IS KIARRRRRING!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VrFQqYJ5-Y

Lol at it get boring running the street, KanwuliaExtra no dey disappoint with her Muchecheche

AngelicBeing:
Lol at it get boring running the street, KanwuliaExtra no dey disappoint with her Muchecheche

You still dey alive?

Nobody will tell you ke. . . when serious back pain go hook you as you try to do 'touch-ya-toe' or 'pick pin' styles.
Even common 'missionary' or 'ala oshu khu bar' styles. . . the blokos be be like awusa dagger wey wan tear you to pieces.
Abeg. . . .game ova!

Muchechecheche

KanwuliaExtra:
You still dey alive?

Nobody will tell you ke. . . when serious back pain go hook you as you try to do 'touch-ya-toe' or 'pick pin' styles.

l still dey ke, Lol at touch your toes, Chai, no dull moment on nairaland.com

KanwuliaExtra:
You still dey alive?

Nobody will tell you ke. . . when serious back pain go hook you as you try to do 'touch-ya-toe' or 'pick pin' styles.
Even common 'missionary' or 'ala oshu khu bar' styles. . . the blokos be be like awusa dagger wey wan tear you to pieces.o
Abeg. . . .game ova!

Muchechecheche

buhahaha, Chai, KanwuliaExtra, u go kill person with laugh for nairaland.com, hausa daga plus kayanmata

advanceDNA:
What u wrote that is wrong is saying a full grown cheating adult is not at fault for her actions ....and her husband should be looking for what he did to make her cheat and fix her....... if ur husband cheats on u woman and tell u its ur fault .....u no go say sense no dey hin head

No vex,
I see say your body dey hot

Handle that matter anyway that will make you happy

frozen70:
No vex,
I see say your body dey hot

Handle that matter anyway that will make you happy

My Body dey hot?? Lol...
U too no vex..

AngelicBeing:
buhahaha, Chai, KanwuliaExtra, u go kill person with laugh for nairaland.com, hausa daga plus kayanmata

Tales from a married woman's diary.
Look ehn. . . . No need for 'kayamata' o. . . .the very last time I try to do extra-marital runzzzz. . . .I go re-connect with one IGBO dude like dis. . . THE BEST EVA!

Before and during my marital bliss. . . I was knacking this dude off and on.
Dis man nefa marry till today. WOMANIZER 1st class.
He was very sweeeeeeeeeeeeet when I was younger. . . .HIS BLOKO EHN? Na FAYA die!!!! I call him 'The CHIROPRACTOR'.
No burantashi needed. Stroooooooooooooooooooong sointin!
At least, once a month, I must go correct shinning. . . to balance my husband stale blokos ke.

The man dey like scissors and splits. styles . . . See 'JANGOROVA'! This man go stretch all the bones wey dey your body and you go sleep for 3 days STRAIGHT! I have to be a little drunk so I don't feel severe pains o. This man go just dey fling me as e like small baby come dey rock me 'gently'. Very sweet. I was not unconscious o. . . .just numb down there. When I reach house, I go go siddon for 'hot water'.

So this fateful day. . . .before COVID lock down. . .I go collect my regular 'show'. . . . .dis dude decide to take awa thing to another level. . . come dey ask me for 'anals'. I ask myself. . . can you survive this blokos in your 'back end'? The fronrt dey suffer not to mention wetin the back hole go endure. I come dey remember awon BOB RISKY with diaper and pus tory. . . with leaking bom-bom. That was how I retired.


OP, sorry oooooo. . . .I am just telling you how to survive wetin we dey do for marriage.
You see? You might not be the 'BEST' in one area, but THE VERY BEST IN ALL OTHER AREAS.
Just as you cannot marry and 'olosho' woman. . . women do not wanno marry an 'olosho' man either.
Don't ask, don't tell.
Las-las, una go dey ok.

advanceDNA:
My Body dey hot?? Lol...
U too no vex..

Ok naw, no let anything make you sad
Every problem get solution

That's why we call it experience

In as much as I don't support what she did, there must be a reason for engaging in extra chat

Try and find out why

frozen70:
Ok naw, no let anything make you sad
Every problem get solution

That's why we call it experience

In as much as I don't support what she did, there must be a reason for engaging in extra chat

Try and find out why

I don say make u no vex naaa

advanceDNA:
I don say make u no vex naaa

My dear, i am very cool with you and I no vex at all

Thanks

frozen70:
Ok naw, no let anything make you sad
Every problem get solution

That's why we call it experience

In as much as I don't support what she did, there must be a reason for engaging in extra chat

Try and find out why

She confessed that it was when we had some issues. The guy steeped in and took advantage of the situation. I took her to my our church alter and asked her to confess that I'll forgive her. Gbam! She cheated with the guy during the period we had the quarrel ( between ending of December and January) and weren't talking with each other.

I've been so devastated. I truly love my wife but she betrayed the love

Now these are questions in my head begging for answers:

1. What if I didn't see that text?
2. Can she ever change genuinely ?
3. Can I ever trust her again?
4. Can any marriage truly survive cheating?


While I haven't sent her away is because of my 3 years old son and time to process everything and take a decision.

I really love this woman and don't think I deserve this.

We got married in 2019, she was 21 while I was 31. So we'll be 25 and 35, respectively this year.

frozen70:
Dont take it too harsh or personal on her

From the tone of your write up, you are already angry

Just wake her up and talk with her

There must be one or two things you are not properly doing right and you know those things and you feel you can't kill yourself

See, women goes through alot of challenges from the opposite sex

They chase even married women and especially those who have a husband that doesn't give them love and attention, may fall into their sweet mouth

No matter how a woman looks, another man is already admiring her

Take it calm with her, She may open up and you guys will work it out as a team

Na this same delusion dey fool most women.
Of course,other men will be talking to you na,
But what are they talking to you for?longterm or flings?
If the admiration from the "men" that admire these women no matter how they look were of genuine intent/interest,why then are they a legion of women in their 30s turning to milfs and trying to lockdown any available man even with their own money in their father's house?
One would think that these "men" that always admire them irrespective of their looks would have taken all of them off the dating market.
Na why boys dey plough through these women that cannot control themselves anyhow in the name of admiration and passing through a lot.
Before you know it,you're one used up bag of beans in your 40s ,highly religious ,single at expert levels trying to lock down a 28yr old boy with pregnancy that you use over tactics to acquire by hooking your legs around him as he's about to pass his juice.
Admiration will come,sieve through and pick a mate.
You must not Bleep everything,you no be dog!

Onulum:
She confessed that it was when we had some issues. The guy steeped in and took advantage of the situation. I took her to my our church alter and asked her to confess that I'll forgive her. Gbam! She cheated with the guy during the period we had the quarrel ( between ending of December and January) and weren't talking with each other.

I've been so devastated. I truly love my wife but she betrayed the love

Now these are questions in my head begging for answers:

1. What if I didn't see that text?
2. Can she ever change genuinely ?
3. Can I ever trust her again?
4. Can any marriage truly survive cheating?


While I haven't sent her away is because of my 3 years old son and time to process everything and take a decision.

I really love this woman and don't think I deserve this.

We got married in 2019, she was 21 while I was 31. So we'll be 25 and 35, respectively this year.

This shouldn't stop you if you can't love or trust her again.
You can always be in your son's life without the mother being in your life.
Don't mortgage your peace over a woman's child.
Learn to live for you Mr.

Onulum:
She confessed that it was when we had some issues. The guy steeped in and took advantage of the situation

. I took her to my our church alter and asked her to confess that I'll forgive her. Gbam! She cheated with the guy during the period we had the quarrel ( between ending of December and January) and weren't talking with each other.

I've been so devastated. I truly love my wife but she betrayed the love

Now these are questions in my head begging for answers:

1. What if I didn't see that text?
2. Can she ever change genuinely ?
3. Can I ever trust her again?
4. Can any marriage truly survive cheating?


While I haven't sent her away is because of my 3 years old son and time to process everything and take a decision.

I really love this woman and don't think I deserve this.

We got married in 2019, she was 21 while I was 31. So we'll be 25 and 35, respectively this year.

Sorry about that pls
May God give you wisdom to tackle this issue and I hope she puts a stop to it

SeaTrade:
Na this same delusion dey fool most women.
Of course,other men will be talking to you na,
But what are they talking to you for?longterm or flings?
If the admiration from the "men" that admire these women no matter how they look were of genuine intent/interest,why then are they a legion of women in their 30s turning to milfs and trying to lockdown any available man even with their own money in their father's house?
One would think that these "men" that always admire them irrespective of their looks would have taken all of them off the dating market.
Na why boys dey plough through these women that cannot control themselves anyhow in the name of admiration and passing through a lot.
Before you know it,you're one used up bag of beans in your 40s ,highly religious ,single at expert levels trying to lock down a 28yr old boy with pregnancy that you use over tactics to acquire by hooking your legs around him as he's about to pass his juice.
Admiration will come,sieve through and pick a mate.
You must not Bleep everything,you no be dog!

Don't mind them.

Always looking for excuses for their cheating

Na man wey carry relationship and marriage for head stupid now.

A little quarrel of a month, woman don go open leg waaaaaaaaa