Hello Nairalanders,
Please listen to this advert I made for my training (from start to finish) and tellme what you think

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpwrAShDgb-/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

yumyogo:
Hello Nairalanders,

I'm need some form of advice.. It's not been easy talking about my personal experiences and i might not write on this platform anymore.

Words are not even enough to express all that I've been through, all you've been reading is only a simpler version of all that has happened but it's fine.

I used to think I could do it by myself.. raise my boys alone but right now I guess I lack the emotional backing to do so. I'm Lonely, I have no one to talk to .. no family friends to visit or hang out with asides my own family.

Days back my son was crying and all he was saying is "Daddy... Daddy..." it made me feel bad. He needs his Dad too and so does my unborn kid too.

While some would say "Cheating isn't enough to leave my home" I agree.. I've always forgiven him but it's unending. On two occasions he's infected me and claimed it wasn't him. I don't want to keep forgiving till he gets me infected with HIV.

Why am I writing now? I'm actually very Lonely, being a single mum isn't fun. I don't know how to go about this.. I'm not as strong as I had thought. I'm only 25 and it feels like my life is over already... How do I get over this, I need to be strong for my kids but it's not working. Are there activities I could engage in to help me get over this stage at least till I'm able to stand alone?

P.S: I called him so his son could talk to him but he was in a hotel with another woman (I'm not guessing)

Yes you have been treated unfairly in LIFE BUT, your life is NOT over
Infact, after this child you are carrying is born, YOU WILL SEE FAVOR EVERYWHERE.


So Calm down... Abuja has many online and offline communities for yummy mummies like you.

The only issue is, you may need to pay to join unless they are church communities.
I would suggest Covenant Christian Centre.

but asides all that.... visit ARCHPALS on instagram and make a request for friends.... for people who can meet you up physically, take you out to movies and to fun places.

YOUR LIFE IS NOT OVER, IT HAS NOT EVEN STARTED AND YOU WILL SOON BE DONE WITH THIS PHASE AND COME OUT STRONG.

yumyogo:
I'm not as strong as I had thought. I'm only 25 and it feels like my life is over already... How do I get over this, I need to be strong for my kids but it's not working.

25 with 2 kids and no husband, magnificent.

superCleanworks:


25 with 2 kids and no husband, magnificent.

You've probably not been following...

yrhuhfy113:


Yes you have been treated unfairly in LIFE BUT, your life is NOT over
Infact, after this child you are carrying is born, YOU WILL SEE FAVOR EVERYWHERE.


So Calm down... Abuja has many online and offline communities for yummy mummies like you.

The only issue is, you may need to pay to join unless they are church communities.
I would suggest Covenant Christian Centre.

but asides all that.... visit ARCHPALS on instagram and make a request for friends.... for people who can meet you up physically, take you out to movies and to fun places.

YOUR LIFE IS NOT OVER, IT HAS NOT EVEN STARTED AND YOU WILL SOON BE DONE WITH THIS PHASE AND COME OUT STRONG.

Thanks a lot. I'll do just that. I just looked for covenant Christian center on IG. They have no posts yet..

I understand how u feel. But what is his family members saying about it? You didn't state if u guys are divorced or not(maybe you did and I didn't see it). I pray God intervenes in your situation and home.

This is why I do not encourage marrying early, I'm all for experiencing life and enough maturity, but this life is per head and age has nothing to do with it

Op make friends, if you are a Christian, become a worker in church, occupy your mind and time with different activities that will distract you,

For your kids, pls be truthful to them cos kids of these days are smarter than their age, let them know why you are no more with their dad and pls do everything possible to involve him in their lives, if he isn't willing also let them know to avoid stories that touch in future, involve your ex's family if possible, you will be fine.

sorextee:
I understand how u feel. But what is his family members saying about it? You didn't state if u guys are divorced or not(maybe you did and I didn't see it). I pray God intervenes in your situation and home.

His mum is sick at the moment. I can't bother her with such information, and he's not in talking terms with his elder brothers.

JovialJune:
This is why I do not encourage marrying early, I'm all for experiencing life and enough maturity, but this life is per head and age has nothing to do with it

Op make friends, if you are a Christian, become a worker in church, occupy your mind and time with different activities that will distract you,

For your kids, pls be truthful to them cos kids of these days are smarter than their age, let them know why you are no more with their dad and pls do everything possible to involve him in their lives, if he isn't willing also let them know to avoid stories that touch in future, involve your ex's family if possible, you will be fine.

Thanks a lot

JovialJune:
This is why I do not encourage marrying early, I'm all for experiencing life and enough maturity, but this life is per head and age has nothing to do with it

Op make friends, if you are a Christian, become a worker in church, occupy your mind and time with different activities that will distract you,

For your kids, pls be truthful to them cos kids of these days are smarter than their age, let them know why you are no more with their dad and pls do everything possible to involve him in their lives, if he isn't willing also let them know to avoid stories that touch in future, involve your ex's family if possible, you will be fine.

I don't think marrying early is really the issue here.

I think the problem was not getting established financially, emotionally etc. before getting married is the issue.

@OP whether you choose to stay with their father or not, don't take responsibility for the kids alone, let him play his part. No award for 'I suffered to train them all alone'.

Kemadealadire:

I don't think marrying early is really the issue here.

I think the problem was not getting established financially, emotionally etc. before getting married is the issue.

That's why I concluded that this life is per head and age has nothing to do with it.

JovialJune:



That's why I concluded that this life is per head and age has nothing to do with it.

Yes, I saw that later in your post.

yumyogo:




Thanks a lot. I'll do just that. I just looked for covenant Christian center on IG. They have no posts yet..

the handle is @covenantccentre
lots of posts there
pastor poju oyemade ON IG....

ARCHPALS on IG

Kemadealadire:

I don't think marrying early is really the issue here.

I think the problem was not getting established financially, emotionally etc. before getting married is the issue.

The deed has been done sir, I'm doing the best I can. I'm only looking for a way forward...

yrhuhfy113:

the handle is @covenantccentre
lots of posts there
pastor poju oyemade ON IG....

ARCHPALS on IG

Alright. .. Thanks

Kemadealadire:

I don't think marrying early is really the issue here.

I think the problem was not getting established financially, emotionally etc. before getting married is the issue.

@OP whether you choose to stay with their father or not, don't take responsibility for the kids alone, let him play his part. No award for 'I suffered to train them all alone'.

Thank you... I'll do just that

yumyogo:



Thank you... I'll do just that

Like someone advised already, you can join a Bible-based Church and be a part of their women group. Most women groups have activities like skills acquisition trainings, you can also get people to relate with from there e.g Foursquare Gospel Church, Abuja headquarters is in Garki Area 3, since you are in Abuja.

yumyogo:
Hello Nairalanders,

I'm need some form of advice.. It's not been easy talking about my personal experiences and i might not write on this platform anymore.

Words are not even enough to express all that I've been through, all you've been reading is only a simpler version of all that has happened but it's fine.

I used to think I could do it by myself.. raise my boys alone but right now I guess I lack the emotional backing to do so. I'm Lonely, I have no one to talk to .. no family friends to visit or hang out with asides my own family.

Days back my son was crying and all he was saying is "Daddy... Daddy..." it made me feel bad. He needs his Dad too and so does my unborn kid too.

While some would say "Cheating isn't enough to leave my home" I agree.. I've always forgiven him but it's unending. On two occasions he's infected me and claimed it wasn't him. I don't want to keep forgiving till he gets me infected with HIV.

Why am I writing now? I'm actually very Lonely, being a single mum isn't fun. I don't know how to go about this.. I'm not as strong as I had thought. I'm only 25 and it feels like my life is over already... How do I get over this, I need to be strong for my kids but it's not working. Are there activities I could engage in to help me get over this stage at least till I'm able to stand alone?

P.S: I called him so his son could talk to him but he was in a hotel with another woman (I'm not guessing)

No one can change his life style until he is tired of chasing women

You have to be strong for your son

Still allow him to visit your son

Some men don't see any crime in cheating, to them its for fun

You are still young at age to experience life and love bitterness

It you guys can reconcile for the sake of your son, then think about it

If you think you want to move on with your life, then you have to move on

Not every man is a husband material ...
Una nor dey hear word

yumyogo:


You've probably not been following...

Check your mail

Your husband is a chronic womanizer, and has been a womanizer long before you married him.

The question is why didn't you opt out when you guys were still dating, at least you would have had peace of mind.

Womanizers don't change, cos it's like an addiction to them,...no matter how hard you try to stay loyal to them, they'll always want to taste some other woman's coochie.

The only solution to avoid getting married to a womanizer is to end things while it's still early.

My advice to you is to focus on your kids, get a job it start a business and focus on them. You see that your husband, it would take God's divine intervention to deliver him. Cos him and a Coke addict are on the same level.

A 25 yr old lady already has 2 kids but here I am.

Klass99:


Research shows that early marriage can be a factor that increases the risk of remaining in poverty, especially for women. The reason for this is not farfetched. Marriage most times means children which means more mouths to feed. It also means less mobility which could mean restricted access to employment in distant places as you now have to consider your family. Most times, marriage also means a hold on further education. Copied from Cowrywise Blog

Well, more people are graduating early and getting financially stable in their early to mid twenties.

Self-awareness doesn't come necessarily by age, as the saying - any time you wake up, that's your morning.

Lots of older peeps who still don't know who they are, what they want, the direction they are headed etc.

Klass99:


Research shows that early marriage can be a factor that increases the risk of remaining in poverty, especially for women. The reason for this is not farfetched. Marriage most times means children which means more mouths to feed. It also means less mobility which could mean restricted access to employment in distant places as you now have to consider your family. Most times, marriage also means a hold on further education. Copied from Cowrywise Blog

Marrying early isn't the problem. A responsible man can easily set up his young wife financially, it happens all the time, most especially if she's submissive. And they'll both live happily ever.

The problem here is getting married to a womanizer. A womanizer can never establish his wife cos he'll feel he did her a favour by marrying her, he'll torture her emotionally, physically, mentally...etc.

Even if she's established financially to the extent that she wouldn't need to depend on any man, as long as her husband is a chronic womanizer, she'll suffer emotionally.

Nazgul:

Marrying early isn't the problem. A responsible man can easily set up his young wife financially, it happens all the time, most especially if she's submissive. And they'll both live happily ever.

It has nothing to do with if she is submissive. Most men (INCLUDING RESPONSIBLE ONES) do not have the means to setup themselves, let alone their wives. Leave submission alone and face reality. The money is not there and they do not use submission to collect loans/money in banks.

.

Klass99:


Lmao 🤣. You be werey

How many Nigerian men have the means to set up a business in modern Nigeria? She can do POS business sha.

pocohantas:

It has nothing to do with if she is submissive. Most men (INCLUDING RESPONSIBLE ONES) do not have the means to setup themselves, let alone their wives. Leave submission alone and face reality. The money is not there and they do not use submission to collect loans/money in banks.

Setting up a spouse financially doesn't mean you have to cough out millions, and no you wouldn't need a bank loan to do that.

It could be a space in the market and all she needs is a table along with a few thousands for whatever it is she wants to sell.

If she's doesn't subscribe to the selling in the market idea, she can go into drop-shipping with almost zero capital. All she has to do is set up a functional social media account and run a Facebook ad for a 1-2 weeks for a product she believes would would hit the market.

Once potential buyers make begin to contact her and make payment, she'll use their money to buy the product, give it to a dispatch rider to deliver and keep the profit for herself. I know a lot of girls who are making money that way....they started with less than 10k.

Since it's pretty clear you can't should the responsibilities alone, why can't you reach out to him with conditions for a reunion? I have a hunch he's not interested in getting back to you.

Nazgul:

Setting up a spouse financially doesn't mean you have to cough out millions, and no you wouldn't need a bank loan to do that.

It could be a space in the market and all she needs is a table along with a few thousands for whatever it is she wants to sell.

If she's doesn't subscribe to the selling in the market idea, she can go into drop-shipping with almost zero capital. All she has to do is set up a functional social media account and run a Facebook ad for a 1-2 weeks for a product she believes would would hit the market.

Once potential buyers make begin to contact her and make payment, she'll use their money to buy the product, give it to a dispatch rider to deliver and keep the profit for herself. I know a lot of girls who are making money that way....they started with less than 10k.

For your mind, space for market cheap ba?
Just dey play!

Na your type dey write sweet words for business proposal. Until Tinubu and his Iyaloja daughter shows you shege.

pocohantas:
For your mind, space for market cheap ba?
Just dey play!

Na your type dey write sweet words for business proposal. Until Tinubu and his Iyaloja daughter shows you shege.

😂😂😂

God, I need that "vawulence can come from any angle" meme rn.