₦airaland Forum

Karleb:
Now we have true and false introverts?

Anyway, if the life you live is so perfect, why try to adjust it?

Confusedgirlie:
Before I left Canada for Nigeria in 2020, I had heard severally that it was very lonely there for Nigerian immigrants. I didn't quite understand what people meant exactly when they said this. However, over time I now have a very good understanding of this particular challenge with migration. Here are some of the things I've learnt on the way. But first, a little background about me.

I'm an introvert and I like my introversion. It gives me a lot of time to think and to be in my own space which I enjoy a lot. I read, write and love to watch documentaries. Those are the three most important things to me in life. When I lived in Nigeria, I lived a mostly secluded life that didn't have a lot of people in it. Regardless, it wasn't boring to me. I went out when I wanted to and took my time for my own activities.

Since being in Canada, my observations have been that it is a lot lonelier here. The reasons are very obvious: there are not a lot of people around me from a culture I'm familiar with (Nigeria), so it's definitely a lot more difficult to interact with others. That's one key point. Another is that I don't really have to go out to purchase things (even groceries), compared to when I was in Nigeria. I can simply order everything I need while sitting in the comfort of my home. Hence, the temptation is to go this way. In addition, I don't have family around, so I'm mostly by myself. And finally, the few friends I have are often busy, so there's hardly time to get together.

That's about it. I think these are some of the challenges Nigerian immigrants face. But the real question is, do I feel lonely?

The honest answer to that is a No. I find that my life is exactly the same way I lived it in Nigeria, only a lot more convenient and comfortable. I can't trade this for anything. In addition, as an introvert who likes to be by herself anyways, it's just a lot more enjoyable.

Nevertheless, there are steps I'm planning to take to change a few things. I am now taking more opportunities to actually go out and buy things even if I don't have to, e.g groceries, clothes, etc. Secondly, I say hello first to strangers and neighbours and get to ask them a few questions. This I wouldn't have done on the first place. Finally, I downloaded a social media application called clubhouse and have been making new friends in my area using this. As a cautious person, I'm taking baby steps here and not jumping straight into friendships I may not like.

Overall, what do I think of being in Canada as an introvert? I enjoy it. My life and choices are a lot better and I find that I have the time to do much more than I was doing back in Nigeria, not hampered by lack of power or resources.

My advice to others is to gauge their expectations carefully as they come to Canada with or without family. It can be lonely here, but that's not because Canada itself is lonely. It's just because you need to dig deep and find yourself in a new country where family is absent and culture is unfamiliar.

Eagba:
Uncle you might think you are an introvert where as you are just shy, lack confidence and have a low self esteem. That is different

I can also see that you're pain cos some introverts describe their life as cool and serene, if you are not a blabber mouth like the ex... that you are, you will know that nothing is perfect

Edc2:
You are in which province and from which part of nigeria I am in Toronto and from southwest

Confusedgirlie:
Before I left Canada for Nigeria in 2020, I had heard severally that it was very lonely there for Nigerian immigrants. I didn't quite understand what people meant exactly when they said this. However, over time I now have a very good understanding of this particular challenge with migration. Here are some of the things I've learnt on the way. But first, a little background about me.

I'm an introvert and I like my introversion. It gives me a lot of time to think and to be in my own space which I enjoy a lot. I read, write and love to watch documentaries. Those are the three most important things to me in life. When I lived in Nigeria, I lived a mostly secluded life that didn't have a lot of people in it. Regardless, it wasn't boring to me. I went out when I wanted to and took my time for my own activities.

Since being in Canada, my observations have been that it is a lot lonelier here. The reasons are very obvious: there are not a lot of people around me from a culture I'm familiar with (Nigeria), so it's definitely a lot more difficult to interact with others. That's one key point. Another is that I don't really have to go out to purchase things (even groceries), compared to when I was in Nigeria. I can simply order everything I need while sitting in the comfort of my home. Hence, the temptation is to go this way. In addition, I don't have family around, so I'm mostly by myself. And finally, the few friends I have are often busy, so there's hardly time to get together.

That's about it. I think these are some of the challenges Nigerian immigrants face. But the real question is, do I feel lonely?

The honest answer to that is a No. I find that my life is exactly the same way I lived it in Nigeria, only a lot more convenient and comfortable. I can't trade this for anything. In addition, as an introvert who likes to be by herself anyways, it's just a lot more enjoyable.

Nevertheless, there are steps I'm planning to take to change a few things. I am now taking more opportunities to actually go out and buy things even if I don't have to, e.g groceries, clothes, etc. Secondly, I say hello first to strangers and neighbours and get to ask them a few questions. This I wouldn't have done on the first place. Finally, I downloaded a social media application called clubhouse and have been making new friends in my area using this. As a cautious person, I'm taking baby steps here and not jumping straight into friendships I may not like.

Overall, what do I think of being in Canada as an introvert? I enjoy it. My life and choices are a lot better and I find that I have the time to do much more than I was doing back in Nigeria, not hampered by lack of power or resources.

My advice to others is to gauge their expectations carefully as they come to Canada with or without family. It can be lonely here, but that's not because Canada itself is lonely. It's just because you need to dig deep and find yourself in a new country where family is absent and culture is unfamiliar.

Edc2:
You mean she is fake the few blacks I have seen on match and zoosk are over 39 which app is the best to meet my african damsels in canada

ednut1:
hinge and bumble

ednut1:
they are clowns to me. You could not find a man while in Nigeria that had over 100m men. But you expect to find a man in a country where less than 200k 9ja men dey . People are not that crazy about marriage in the western world cos of the divorce laws. They also dont want to do 50:50, They also want religious men in a country where only old people go to church.One of my female friends dey tell me she is looking for a man from anambra that is a catholic too. This is a 32 years old babe o. 🤡🤡

ecolime:
This life ehn... You can't have it all.

Same thing my unmarried peeps abroad are facing. Always depressed & bored as fck.

What's the essence of working 247, no time to rest and no one to share life memories with?

Here in Naija, some make good money, are in quality relationships, yet the environment and government frustrates the hell out of you

Now imagine what people without good jobs face.

Whether home or abroad, just choose your type of pain and live with it if there's nothing you can do about it.

planetx:
Conji is killing most Nigerian men abroad, that is why they all rush home regularly to quench the conji. Most Nigerian men married or single visiting Nigeria from abroad are visiting primarily for sex and you better believe that.

Klass99:
You mean before you left Nigeria for Canada, right? Please modify your first sentence to reflect what you mean so your username is not a reality here .

I enjoyed the account of your experience in Canada and I appreciate that you didn't spew negativity, trash talk or diss Nigeria, your home country. I can't tell you how sickening and off putting that behaviour has become from Nigerian diasporans who do it.

I have a friend overseas who migrated on a scholarship for study around the same time you did. Every conversation and interaction with her mentally and emotionally drains me, leaving me exhausted afterwards. She is full of the sort of bile, negativity, criticism and judgment of Naija I hate hearing. This is someone who gets moral and financial support back home, from Nigerians still living in Nigeria. Yet, her diss of an entire country and its people never ends, no be ment be that?

I particularly like the bolded parts of your text and wish you well on your new life in Canada. Thank you for not joining the herd or being part of the horrible statistics of Naija trash talkers.

highchief1:
lol why do u think most Nigerians abroad don’t want to return again even if they are not making it.Women here are very easy.No1 no woman here will give u their number if they are not ready to lash.No2 they are matured and don’t talk plenty talk once they enter ur house.No3 they eat from their house because they know they may not be able to eat Nigerian food or something else u will offer them.Nigerian girls r too hungry once they know they are having a date tomorrow from today they won’t eat again.A glass of white or red wine here u don tidy.all this pls stop,why are u doing this?is this why u invited me to ur place,it’s our first meeting this is not right.if u touch me again I’ll pick my bag and go.I never hear all those nonsense since I come here.But mind u,the Uber is expensive o.we Dey use 30k to and fro to Uber girl.if her place far u fit pay 50k sef.Nigeria remains cheaper though.cos with 5k then I Dey tidy well.

scrolldown88:
If you're life was so enjoyable and perfect, why then do you speak of implementing those measures to change it. Your entire post is a bit contradictory.

I find that most introverts are not being entirely honest with their introversion and desire to socialize. For the most part, a lot know that there's a void of social interaction that they yearn to be filled. But they talk as if they're living in paradise, yet talk within the same epistle, talk of implementing measures to switch up their supposedly perfect life. It's contradictory.
It's also an introvert delimma. I say this cuz I'm one

emoboy4u:
Thank you for this. As an introvert myself, I know how many opportunities I have missed just because of lack of social skills. It's a weakness that needs to be worked on and not enjoyed

highchief1:
lol why do u think most Nigerians abroad don’t want to return again even if they are not making it.Women here are very easy.No1 no woman here will give u their number if they are not ready to lash.No2 they are matured and don’t talk plenty talk once they enter ur house.No3 they eat from their house because they know they may not be able to eat Nigerian food or something else u will offer them.Nigerian girls r too hungry once they know they are having a date tomorrow from today they won’t eat again.A glass of white or red wine here u don tidy.all this pls stop,why are u doing this?is this why u invited me to ur place,it’s our first meeting this is not right.if u touch me again I’ll pick my bag and go.I never hear all those nonsense since I come here.But mind u,the Uber is expensive o.we Dey use 30k to and fro to Uber girl.if her place far u fit pay 50k sef.Nigeria remains cheaper though.cos with 5k then I Dey tidy well.

Adex2442:
Which country u dey and how many black and white u done nack so far

Confusedgirlie:
Before I left Canada for Nigeria in 2020, I had heard severally that it was very lonely there for Nigerian immigrants. I didn't quite understand what people meant exactly when they said this. However, over time I now have a very good understanding of this particular challenge with migration. Here are some of the things I've learnt on the way. But first, a little background about me.

I'm an introvert and I like my introversion. It gives me a lot of time to think and to be in my own space which I enjoy a lot. I read, write and love to watch documentaries. Those are the three most important things to me in life. When I lived in Nigeria, I lived a mostly secluded life that didn't have a lot of people in it. Regardless, it wasn't boring to me. I went out when I wanted to and took my time for my own activities.

Since being in Canada, my observations have been that it is a lot lonelier here. The reasons are very obvious: there are not a lot of people around me from a culture I'm familiar with (Nigeria), so it's definitely a lot more difficult to interact with others. That's one key point. Another is that I don't really have to go out to purchase things (even groceries), compared to when I was in Nigeria. I can simply order everything I need while sitting in the comfort of my home. Hence, the temptation is to go this way. In addition, I don't have family around, so I'm mostly by myself. And finally, the few friends I have are often busy, so there's hardly time to get together.

That's about it. I think these are some of the challenges Nigerian immigrants face. But the real question is, do I feel lonely?

The honest answer to that is a No. I find that my life is exactly the same way I lived it in Nigeria, only a lot more convenient and comfortable. I can't trade this for anything. In addition, as an introvert who likes to be by herself anyways, it's just a lot more enjoyable.

Nevertheless, there are steps I'm planning to take to change a few things. I am now taking more opportunities to actually go out and buy things even if I don't have to, e.g groceries, clothes, etc. Secondly, I say hello first to strangers and neighbours and get to ask them a few questions. This I wouldn't have done on the first place. Finally, I downloaded a social media application called clubhouse and have been making new friends in my area using this. As a cautious person, I'm taking baby steps here and not jumping straight into friendships I may not like.

Overall, what do I think of being in Canada as an introvert? I enjoy it. My life and choices are a lot better and I find that I have the time to do much more than I was doing back in Nigeria, not hampered by lack of power or resources.

My advice to others is to gauge their expectations carefully as they come to Canada with or without family. It can be lonely here, but that's not because Canada itself is lonely. It's just because you need to dig deep and find yourself in a new country where family is absent and culture is unfamiliar.

Klass99:
There is a global cost of living crises and insecurity in .

Nezzjnr:
I was just laughing when I read that comment.

I no wan talk too much

Klass99:
Whatever the issues you all have with Nigeria, please know that grumbling, complaining, words of criticism and negativity are not a good look on anyone. It's like perspiration (excessive body sweat) and a huge turn off.

You have japa-ed, focus on making a new life and enjoying your new country of residence. Leave Nigeria with its many issues alone! If all you are going to do is whine, complain and diss without being part of the solution then please keep quiet I don't want to hear it.

I have another friend overseas who feels the same way I do. She has met several immigrants from middle east countries like Iran, Syria etc who have terrible challenges in their home countries as well, but she said they don't moan, complain or trash talk their countries needlessly like we Nigerians do, home and abroad.

There is a global cost of living crises and insecurity in other countries, the challenges in Naija are not unique or peculiar to us alone, so why do we often feel the need to wail the loudest and wail the most? Na only us waka come? I have started distancing myself from such people and such talk, people like my friend and the Nigeria is a shit-hole crew. I can do without their negativity!

PS: I am speaking generally and not specifically to you, so don't misunderstand me.

Klass99:
. Thank you

Confusedgirlie:
Before I left Canada for Nigeria in 2020, I had heard severally that it was very lonely there for Nigerian immigrants. I didn't quite understand what people meant exactly when they said this. However, over time I now have a very good understanding of this particular challenge with migration. Here are some of the things I've learnt on the way. But first, a little background about me.

I'm an introvert and I like my introversion. It gives me a lot of time to think and to be in my own space which I enjoy a lot. I read, write and love to watch documentaries. Those are the three most important things to me in life. When I lived in Nigeria, I lived a mostly secluded life that didn't have a lot of people in it. Regardless, it wasn't boring to me. I went out when I wanted to and took my time for my own activities.

Since being in Canada, my observations have been that it is a lot lonelier here. The reasons are very obvious: there are not a lot of people around me from a culture I'm familiar with (Nigeria), so it's definitely a lot more difficult to interact with others. That's one key point. Another is that I don't really have to go out to purchase things (even groceries), compared to when I was in Nigeria. I can simply order everything I need while sitting in the comfort of my home. Hence, the temptation is to go this way. In addition, I don't have family around, so I'm mostly by myself. And finally, the few friends I have are often busy, so there's hardly time to get together.

That's about it. I think these are some of the challenges Nigerian immigrants face. But the real question is, do I feel lonely?

The honest answer to that is a No. I find that my life is exactly the same way I lived it in Nigeria, only a lot more convenient and comfortable. I can't trade this for anything. In addition, as an introvert who likes to be by herself anyways, it's just a lot more enjoyable.

Nevertheless, there are steps I'm planning to take to change a few things. I am now taking more opportunities to actually go out and buy things even if I don't have to, e.g groceries, clothes, etc. Secondly, I say hello first to strangers and neighbours and get to ask them a few questions. This I wouldn't have done on the first place. Finally, I downloaded a social media application called clubhouse and have been making new friends in my area using this. As a cautious person, I'm taking baby steps here and not jumping straight into friendships I may not like.

Overall, what do I think of being in Canada as an introvert? I enjoy it. My life and choices are a lot better and I find that I have the time to do much more than I was doing back in Nigeria, not hampered by lack of power or resources.

My advice to others is to gauge their expectations carefully as they come to Canada with or without family. It can be lonely here, but that's not because Canada itself is lonely. It's just because you need to dig deep and find yourself in a new country where family is absent and culture is unfamiliar.

deyplay:
baba, why u dey pay her uber na? Na escort? No be friend?

Shikena:
While the US is totally different from Canada due to many factors, some still complain about loneliness. It was never a concern for me despite being borderline introvert. When I got to the US, I easily met so many people at my apartment gym, then a bit more at the library.

For my baddest friend who later hooked me up with a lovely Nigerian lady, and many others that were too wild for me, I met him at an IT Tech convention downtown. I later found out there are many families known to my family and friends all over the place and nearby cities.

These countries are advanced and there are many physical events and conferences going on every month. Use your head, be innovative. Upward mobile, well educated, young Nigerians are always there. A smart way is to first find someone of same sex as buddy, get the good looking social type even if you don't drink, they will hook you up.

Loneliness is exaggerated, it's often a choice as you always have options. For many, they just love it and it's no issue.

ope19:
I am currently experiencing the same thing. Will start going out more soon

Nwachi22:
Story of my life. I’m in Guelph, Ontario.
I’ve never been this lonely.
I miss my friends and family

StrongAlphMale:
From your comment, it's so obvious you're not happy with your marriage else you wouldn't have come here to rant and wail. Very obvious you have other guys banging your pussy on a steady. I really Pity the SIMP dude that married you. Such a pity