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How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Nobody: 8:45pm On Mar 06, 2021 |
jeez !!! one word for them guys 12 Likes 1 Share
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Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by chatinent: 8:51pm On Mar 06, 2021 |
“Come back make another person go.” 384 Likes 30 Shares
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Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Quality20(m): 9:14pm On Mar 06, 2021 |
How cn u b at home 24/7? Isn't there gym, worship centre,libraries etc 45 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by flokii: 9:54pm On Mar 06, 2021 |
While it looks like blessing to put in all your life savings to acquire Visa, work permit etc. and migrate to obodo oyinbo.. when you get there, the oyinbo people will see you as disturbance and uninvited guest, you won't have friends or people to bond with, loneliness, boredom and feeling of regret would then creep in. It's only married ones with kids that tend to feel loved, not the singles. If we had good leaders in Africa in general, who would want to run abroad and live in deep freezer? you sef reason am na. As a guy, your penls will start to shrink like it's no man's business out of cold and sickness. 268 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Nobody: 10:27pm On Mar 06, 2021 |
flokii: 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Draslo(m): 10:41pm On Mar 06, 2021 |
Introverts are lonely everywhere 124 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by KangaIye: 11:58pm On Mar 06, 2021 |
19 Likes |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by 79733139(m): 5:42am On Mar 07, 2021 |
Most of them didn't develop their social skills. They basically don't know how to make friends and they don't know how to approach (and take rejections) the opposite sex. In Nigeria, their social life was structured and for guys, money might have played a big issue in dating. However, in western countries, you need to be proactive about your social life and having money doesn't give you a big edge when it comes to dating. We also have Nigerian females who believe women shouldn't try and approach a guy to spark his interest. 142 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Focusmind: 6:48am On Mar 07, 2021 |
Lonliness made me to return back home after my masters in 2010. After getting a caregiver job in Perth with accommodation, the job was so monotonous that I felt I was in prison. The hourly rate for the job was okay with free meals and accommodation, I was still missing the get together with former colleagues in Lagos, the TGIF and the weekend get together, the travel to my village for celebrations. . I love village events and celebrations. Those from the East will understand. If you are a hyper social type of person, adjusting living abroad will be difficult for you. Nigeria is still far from what I would have love her to be but I wouldn't trade in my happiness, social life, freedom, status, family, power and career aspirations for abroad. At least, I am not doing badly here. I can still afford to provide myself with 24hours electricity, have access to paid servants, go anywhere, visit my lovely extended family members (the good ones), create a future for myself, have my own house and definitely hope for the best in the future. For those that wants to stay in Nigeria, you should mind how you consume negative news about Nigeria. The negative news have ways of weighing one down. So, sieve the kind of news about Nigeria you hear or watch or else, you would loose hope Each to his or her own, but my life and success lies here. 300 Likes 21 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by bigjackass: 8:44am On Mar 07, 2021 |
I see many videos and photos of my guys and girls having fun with other people all the time. They are not lonely. You will only feel lonely if you are one of those that tries to avoid associating with other Nigerians abroad 36 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Kiddogarcia(m): 10:03am On Mar 07, 2021 |
What about we that's lonely here seff, though I get when you know no one is going to hit up on you soon, it's annoying, but na we be your best plug for everything sexual enhancement no forget 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by ednut1(m): 1:13pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
I dont take them serious because they are not serious. Keep staying in your house complaining and dont make effort to socialize o. For many its the validation and toasting they get in Nigeria. But all of a sudden no one sends you again lol 52 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Childofthelord(f): 1:28pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Honestly, you wouldn't have explained it any better. Been in Vancouver for 3 years now and I could not agree less. I usually engage myself with volunteering, community service, church choir and taking swimming lessons and post my random thoughts on Nairaland. That alleviates the boredom a little, but the loneliness is unmatched. You better learn to enjoy your own company before coming over. Don't overdo things or try to be too friendly, they'll see you as a pest. Peace flokii: 84 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Childofthelord(f): 1:33pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
It's looks quite easy from your end. "they don't make an effort to socialize" lol this is not Lagos. Everyone minds their business here, just chit chat and move on, no time for committed relationships or friendships except they are particularly interested in you, even your co-workers like to keep it professional. Its not just the environment, it's the people, their preferences and way of life. You as a foreigner, you cannot change that. There is really no place like home. Peace ednut1: 128 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Obinnau(m): 2:28pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Childofthelord:This thread just gave voice to what I am experiencing. I now appreciate the contacts I made back home who would take out their time to engage me in video calls. It's not about making efforts to socialize, it's just that I have come to realize that people only remember you exist only when they need you and it's a general thing. Sure you would have a few circle of friends but after some time it becomes monotonous and you crave for the madness and uninvited intrusions of Nigerians. 60 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by ednut1(m): 2:32pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Childofthelord:kindly go back home then. When in rome you behave like a roman. Lived in uk for 3 years, in canada currently i have never been bored or lonely. There are many apps, groups or things to do. Am sure you still carry religion for head over here in canada, maybe part of your problem 43 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Mcslize: 3:52pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
79733139: Exactly. Here in Nigeria, that notion of only guys should approach ladies had been inbuilt in most ladies. The kind of attention our women get here they don't get that once they get to the west world. Guys hardly approach ladies over there. It is mind your business lifestyle. All their lives, most of our ladies haven't approached a guy. They carry same mindset abroad hoping for men to be rushing them. When that is not forth coming, they go into depression comparing Nigeria to abroad. Some times I approach ladies just for the fun of it. I don't think there is any lady I can't approach. People are scared of rejection and scared of being turned down when trying to socialise with the opposite sex. Who truly cares if a lady turn me down or not. I walked up to a lady striked a convo, and requested her number, she simply said she just wanted to be left alone. That she doesn't want any man in her life oh my God just for asking of number. I simply told her ok have a nice day. If I were some persons, I won't approach ladies again due to that rejection. The next day I saw another lady and I striked a convo as usual and boom she responded well, got her number and walked away. People should learn how to approach and socialize. If you look deeply, you will discover the issue is not the society but them. 118 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by ednut1(m): 4:07pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Mcslize:their sense of entitlement is sickening. Because men toast u every where or make remarks in Nigeria they think its normal. Abeg make dem self go toast men or enter tinder . They complain of loneliness but they will be on dating apps looking for only Nigerians men, Christian and well to do. In an already small pool o. Jokers 69 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Mcslize: 5:00pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
ednut1: Lol, that entitlement part is something ladies really need to look into. Once you ask a Nigeria girl out, she will start pouring all her problems on you. That's very bad. They won't think of how they can support a guy but know only how to take from a guy. That's guys should put sentiment aside when choosing a life partner. Dating a liability will drill a big hole on a guy's pocket let alone choosing such as a lifetime partner. I laugh when I see ladies praying God bless my future husband with wealth. And I ask myself, will it be bad if God bless them for their husbands? Some are just too lazy. And their only hope is marrying a rich guy which doesn't work these days. Rich guys are now looking for rich girls. So no one will use the other. 77 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by neurosci: 5:21pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Mcslize: Before you underestimate what childofthelord is saying here, my question to you is, have you ever lived abroad? I'm sure by the time you ask three girls for their numbers here, white girls specifically since they're the majority, no one will teach you before you stop doing that when you see how much of a nuisance they consider you to be. You think they're the same as Nigerian girls, right? Ok! 50 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by neurosci: 5:24pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
ednut1: Who told you they are looking for only Nigerian men? I can bet they're far more interested in white boys, but when the white boys are not approaching nko, what do you expect them to do? They have to focus on where they stand a better chance. 25 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Mcslize: 6:10pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
neurosci: Lol not for a guy like me. Before you meet a girl, stop making her feel like she is the price. Consider yourself a high value man, and you will have no issue talking to any girl being white or black. And mind you, talking to a girl is a skill. If you are humorous, innocently naughty, you won't have issue talking to ladies. If our black girls can be so mean and men still talk to them, how much more of friendly white girls. A white girl can just walk passed you and smile at you. How many of our ladies here do that? That smile alone is an ice breaker if you know what I meant. Knowing how to handle ladies is a universal skill. It is not for everyone and not for guys that have low self esteem. 68 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by neurosci: 6:57pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Mcslize: Did you answer my question at all? Have you lived abroad? The US or Canada specifically. If you have not, leave this topic for those who have. When you get there, try the things you said and then come back to tell me how it went. What you don't understand is that what you're describing above is more of a cultural thing as opposed to a mere skill. Have you ever wondered why people don't cold approach the opposite sex in the streets here like they do in Nigeria? Have you ever entered a public bus or train here and seen how people are quiet, heads locked down on their phones? Why do you think dating apps are the main means of finding relationships here as opposed to just walking up to strangers? Your writing shows you've never been here, otherwise you would not have said what you said regarding a white girl smiling at you. When a white girl smiles at you, take it seriously at your own peril. Innocently naughty. Smh 159 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by VanillaIyce(f): 7:01pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
BadRadio:Introverts they may be because extroverts will easily make friends and not feel bored especially Nigerians 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Nobody: 7:18pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
VanillaIyce:if that's ur dp... then u look really good for me 3 Likes |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by 79733139(m): 7:38pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
If a guy is jovial, well-groomed and uses a laid-back/polite approach, most ladies (all races) wouldn't see him as a nuisance, they would give back the same energy whether they are interested or not. Canada is a polite society. neurosci: 5 Likes |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by 79733139(m): 7:53pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
neurosci: Even in Nigeria, those places are bad for approaching ladies. Parks, gardens, beaches, hotel lounges, upscale bars, theme restaurants, amusement parks, museums, art exhibitions, concerts etc. these places are excellent because everybody is in a social mood and in Canada, they are all easily accessible to any body with a stable income. And when a white girl is smiling at a black guy (or any guy), it most likely means he told a joke or she is trying to flirt with him... human emotions are encoded in our DNA, so they are the same everywhere. 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by 79733139(m): 7:55pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Exactément! Mcslize: |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by neurosci: 8:01pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
79733139: Smiling here is cultural, it may or may not have anything to do with flirting. People smile at you just because of an accidental eye contact. This doesn't happen in Nigeria or anywhere else. It is purely an american/canadian thing. Your biggest mistake would be to assume that a white girl smiling at you is necessarily trying to flirt or you said something. The reality is that you don't even have to say anything funny before she smiles. Just be walking by and make an accidental eye contact and what you get is a smile. That is the culture here, and there are lots and lots of studies that have been conducted on it, and the running joke is that "When a stranger on the street smiles at you: a. you assume he is drunk. b. he is insane. c. he's an American". In fact, it is commonly called the american smile, aka cut-and-paste smile, due to how superficial it is. Again, it is NOT the same everywhere, it is an American thing! https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2017/05/why-americans-smile-so-much/524967/ https://usvisagroup.com/americans-smile-much-strange-americanisms/ https://news.avclub.com/americans-are-creeping-out-the-rest-of-the-world-by-smi-1798261438 On this smile issue, I personally conducted a study on it (in addition to my research on feminism) when I got here, so this is a subject I'm very curious about. 46 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by OnlyDeCapPlease(m): 8:06pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Quality20: Nope! No gym, church gatherings or library since dec 2020 In UK lockdown means LOCKDOWM 30 Likes |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by neurosci: 8:09pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
79733139: Look, I'm not here to dispute that fact. What I'm saying is that, what is considered polite can vary from culture to culture. So, if a guy does those things you mentioned to a Nigerian girl in Nigeria, the result might slightly be different when he does that to a white girl in Canada. They would not necessarily consider him a nuisance, as a matter of fact, the Canadian girl would likely respond with the "oh my gosh you're so sweet...." line with a big smile on her face. She is more likely going to be polite and friendlier than the Nigerian girl. But after a while, you will eventually realize how superficial all that was. This definitely does not apply in all cases because everyone is difference, but in general, this is how it goes. Talk to people who have done these things a lot about their experiences. 25 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Ayo2004: 8:14pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Make me sef go make I dey advice una 9 Likes |
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