₦airaland Forum

Skybleu:
Please if anybody can help me with any little amount to eat I will be very happy. Feeding is a big problem for me and my family please no matter how small. I havent eaten anything since yesterday in the morning pls. My dad is a retired teacher and my mom is late. Am a single mother with my own son mouth to feed, the little money i make have use it to cater for my dad illness and pay house rent but his health is getting worst. Now we can't even eat or buy water to drink. Please if you're reading this message pls come to our aid, no matter how small it will go a long way pls. May God meet you at the point of your need as you have show us mercy amen
Faith
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First Bank

ZIMDRILL:
in my workd you got a wrong mindset when it comes to raising kids

there is nothing called Sacrifice when it comes to raising your own children, its your duty both by nature and law, you can not sacrifice on something you are meant to be doing aka raising your own kids

the only people who deserve to use that word is those looking after othet people's kids yes they sacrifice there time and money becoz it wasnt there responsiblility

Kids are not investment why becoz they can have their own mind, your money and properties are the right investment they can
never have their own mind hence they will work according to your wish

Saying parents sacrificed is like giving yourself a medal for breathing, if you want to live you must breath so u can not give yoself a medal

Same with kids we bear, its our duty and responsibility no one else so dont congrats your self for something you are meant to be doing

the moment we accept that it is our duty to look after we children the better we dont see them as investments but just raising a human being and hoping that they will be better than you in achievement

We are poor becoz we confuse investment and responsibility of raising children. The two are totally different but most africans make them one thing

what If all your kids die before you? when u viewed them as investment, a property will look after same with shares etc

Having the mindset of investment is wrong you will end up thinking that you are doing a favour to your children when in reality it is actually your duty and no one else

RenegadeX:
Oga I no fit follow you argue rubbish
Na my work be this Canadian banks login and co

Normally black market na 340 but if you go change am na 317. Stop arguing unnecessarily ok

CosmicDust:
Here is my story....

I have a 3 siblings and I am at odds with my eldest who is a lady. The way it is, I may She went abroad for her masters with my parents supporting with half-payment. Unfortunately, whenever it came to family demands and helping the other younger siblings, she has either been negligent or grudgingly does so.

Few years after going abroad, she decided to lockup and sends only 40k home which is supposed to cater for food for a month.
Now parents are retired, the whole family weight falls on my following

My other siblings say because we all refuse to be dictated to by her is the reason for her behaviour. I don't care. Mine is that if you know that you are going to be useless to a family, let your parents know before hand so the money used in training/feeding you can be used for farming business which will despite bad weather bring returns than on a child who feels is not obligated to support the parents who supported you all through.

Shokoloko:
Beautiful thoughts.
Training children is not an investment or sacrifice.

grandstar:
You have a point but the will is the most important thing.

I know a lady who was British by birth but lived in Nigeria until she was in her 20s. Their father had abandoned her and her 4 siblings when they were still young. The youngest was still in the mum's belly.

This lady travelled in her 20s and worked hard to bring all her siblings to join her. Eventually, all were abroad, including their mum.

I have travelled to the UK. I see many Nigerians working as security guards and our women as nurses. Many are also doing white collar jobs.

Her you trying to say after 5 years she won't have known how to thrive in Canada? What skills to learn that will bring in money? My younger brother is a nurse in the US and earns over $100k a year.

Gloriagee:
How bad can she be doing to be sending 40k? Unless she has a drug habit or shopping addiction, she can definitely do better...

Well, we move! That's my approach to life. I have zero expectations and that's putting it mildly. Just remove her from your mind and please don't wish her bad. Take care

ZIMDRILL:
You are welcome

thats the main reason why africans we are poor

1 we invest in wrong things kids must be raised not invested in as returns

2 we should learn that raising your own kids is must, not favour or sacrifice

3 learn to invest in things that return your own money over time, not a human being that can change its mind, here we talk of properties and shares etc

4 If you raise them well there will be there for you but if you raise them using the words i sacrificed for you or as if you are doing them a favour they might not like you in the end becoz they didnt ask to be born

Napata77:
She did absolutely nothing ''wrong'' if she gave what she could afford.

ZIMDRILL:
in my workd you got a wrong mindset when it comes to raising kids

there is nothing called Sacrifice when it comes to raising your own children, its your duty both by nature and law, you can not sacrifice on something you are meant to be doing aka raising your own kids

the only people who deserve to use that word is those looking after othet people's kids yes they sacrifice there time and money becoz it wasnt there responsiblility

Kids are not investment why becoz they can have their own mind, your money and properties are the right investment they can
never have their own mind hence they will work according to your wish

Saying parents sacrificed is like giving yourself a medal for breathing, if you want to live you must breath so u can not give yoself a medal

Same with kids we bear, its our duty and responsibility no one else so dont congrats your self for something you are meant to be doing

the moment we accept that it is our duty to look after we children the better we dont see them as investments but just raising a human being and hoping that they will be better than you in achievement

We are poor becoz we confuse investment and responsibility of raising children. The two are totally different but most africans make them one thing

what If all your kids die before you? when u viewed them as investment, a property will look after you same with shares etc

Having the mindset of investment is wrong you will end up thinking that you are doing a favour to your children when in reality it is actually your duty and no one else

monerozi5590:
Here, in Africa and some Asian countries, it's our duty to take care of our old parents. In the Western world, they have care homes for aged people but we don't have it here. Even in the west, the rich don't put their parents in care homes. They hire nannies for them and make sure they are properly taking care of.

In summary, children na investment too. The joy of every parent is to see their children become successful.

CosmicDust:
Thanks for the messages. I am sharing my story here is to air out a piece of my mind and also I believe many people also do have stories of sibling rivalries.
For those who told me to call and discuss issues with, anytime I do that is a reason for a fight. Infact I have been exhaustive on that. She has left the family whatsapp group and claims we all use it to extort her. 2 of us are doing well for ourselves.
You say she sends $55 each month? Bro and you’re ranting ba
Who told you all is gold over there? Do you know what she earns, expenses etc ?
You need to be grateful for the little before you push her into depression because as a lady they’re not that smart like men that will look for more than one work or maybe you want to push her into prostitution



Even if I dey wipe nyansh for Canada, e no go reach situation wey I no fit send at least $150 back home to my parents. This girl sends 40k. $55 a month for your parents that trained you. That is unthinkable.

Wawelexy:
You took the word out of my mouth.... OP will be shocke to discover he is actually doing better here in Nigeria than the so called sister living abroad...

CosmicDust:
Here is my story....

I have a 3 siblings and I am at odds with my eldest who is a lady. The way it is, I may never have a conversation with her again.

She was the first person to be invested in by my parents after which I came. Luckily enough, she was able to strike gold in her career and do well for herself. She went abroad for her masters with my parents supporting with half-payment. Unfortunately, whenever it came to family demands and helping the other younger siblings, she has either been negligent or grudgingly does so.

Few years after going abroad, she decided to lockup and sends only 40k home which is supposed to cater for food for a month.
Now parents are retired, the whole family weight falls on my following sibling and I. The youngest one education is on me. Happy she will finish soon. Parents need to be supported in challenging times, one is coping with diabetes and the other is with some challenging issues I can't say here. Their savings are being sapped by their needs to keep living on.

But my so-called elder sister based in Canada despite knowing their condition is silent. She still sends her peanuts, while I and my younger brother who is an upcoming fashion designer do 2X what she does. This aches our parents and sometimes makes our mother cry and our father rant with regret.

A time now came, our mum got admitted in the hospital. Condition was so salient that she had to be hospitalized for weeks. Hospital bill was 450k. The Canada-based first born doing a good job, who was always talking to her, praying with her on phone, etc only sent 100k. We the others did the rest. Glad mum is back at home but her heart is broken and has refused to talk with her. She's been in Canada for 5 years and has refused to even support any of her siblings to come abroad too.

My other siblings say because we all refuse to be dictated to by her is the reason for her behaviour. I don't care. Mine is that if you know that you are going to be useless to a family, let your parents know before hand so the money used in training/feeding you can be used for farming business which will despite bad weather bring returns than on a child who feels is not obligated to support the parents who supported you all through.

galantjoe:
You people should have online meeting or zoom meeting to discuss how you people should finance your parents health and old age expenses. It is thru this way you people will know her grudges, grievance and anger for her little or no contribution.

You people should give her fair hearing to explain herself.

Gloriagee:
How bad can she be doing to be sending 40k? Unless she has a drug habit or shopping addiction, she can definitely do better...

Well, we move! That's my approach to life. I have zero expectations and that's putting it mildly. Just remove her from your mind and please don't wish her bad. Take care

Fidelarinze9:
Bros Easy with this your entitlement mentality, do what you can and leave your sister to do what she can.

RenegadeX:
Thank you o
See how op dey reason like bush man. That if his sister knows she won’t help then they could have channeled the money elsewhere. Very stupid reasoning. Did she bring herself to the world. If you use clear eye to have sex that you know the consequences is a baby. You should know that part of the consequences is to Chanel part of your resources to make the child grow into an adult. The child owes u nothing not even a thank

Moonraker007:
There are 2 sides to a story. Secondly, y'all are soul deep in your entitlement mentality.. Have you ever wondered how she is surviving especially bills.. Your entitlement mentality is eating you deep. SHE OWES YOU NOTHING.. It is even shameful to use the word invest for your parents training her.. A parent trains their child out of true love not investing. You sound really pathetic and need to snap out of it before it ruins you. Let God bless you for all your commitments to the family not this trash talk. Do you think if you stop talking to her she will not continue to exist. WAKE UP MY FRIEND

Applekay9776:
You should be grateful that you have a sis who sends 40k per month,sometimes sends money for hospital bills,for me,I have a brother,who stay in US,he calls my dad once in a while to send him money,he hardly come home and when he do,my dad will be the one to pay for his flight back to US,cus if dad doesn’t give him money,nobody will rest in this house,over 30 years in the United States,nothing to show for it….my brother be grateful,manage the little she sends and take care of ur family…moreover if nah land dem Dey share,nah you go get more of the land…so smile and move on.

Trojan8:
Every comments that does not support what you said about your sister is either ignored or attacked. You claim she consistently send 40k every month, how much do you give your parents every month?


She may be stingy but the way you feel entitled is making me laugh. No where in your post did you try to find out her living conditions there.

xevove2061:
All i can see here is an entitled prick of a person. What makes you think she has a good job as you say she does. What also makes you think that she is paid well, as you think? Did you ask how she pays her bills and who she has to run to when she has issues of her own? Why do you think its okay to come here complainimg of your elder sister who is atleast sending something back for your feeding. Habe you seen her payslip to know how much she earns monthly? Do you know if the money she makes monthly is enough for her own monthly expenses? You people in nigeria need to stop having this mentality that people abroad are fine. Very few are doing really fine. Some people make over 12m equivalent in naira and its not enough, if that person has their own family what shpuld they now do? Mind you, your bills do not wait for you abroad, you have to pay it and pay it on time otherwise you get interest on those bills. If she was not even bringing any money in the first place, then its a topic for another day. Please and please!, never feel entitled to another persons money and never assume that anyone owes you anything. Are you not a man? Should you not be making your own money despite all odds? You lots are sickening. I tell you!

ZIMDRILL:
in my work you got a wrong mindset when it comes to raising kids

there is nothing called Sacrifice when it comes to raising your own children, its your duty both by nature and law, you can not sacrifice on something you are meant to be doing aka raising your own kids

the only people who deserve to use that word is those looking after othet people's kids yes they sacrifice there time and money becoz it wasnt there responsiblility

Kids are not investment why becoz they can have their own mind, your money and properties are the right investment they can
never have their own mind hence they will work according to your wish

Saying parents sacrificed is like giving yourself a medal for breathing, if you want to live you must breath so u can not give yoself a medal

Same with kids we bear, its our duty and responsibility no one else so dont congrats your self for something you are meant to be doing

the moment we accept that it is our duty to look after we children the better we dont see them as investments but just raising a human being and hoping that they will be better than you in achievement

We are poor becoz we confuse investment and responsibility of raising children. The two are totally different but most africans make them one thing

what If all your kids die before you? when u viewed them as investment, a property will look after you same with shares etc

Having the mindset of investment is wrong you will end up thinking that you are doing a favour to your children when in reality it is actually your duty and no one else

007s:
I disagree with this

Going by your analogy, the responsibility of every parent stops at ensuring their offspring survive (just like other animals) i.e, the parent is only expected to provide you with basic neccessities of life (food, water and shelter), until you reach a certain age (most likely 12 (puberty)) when you can fend for your self.

Any parent that goes beyond this bare minimum i.e., provide for your education formally or informally, feeding after the age of 12, attend to any of your need after the age of 12, etc has made a sacrifice and this sacrifice should be recognised

SavageResponse:
Useless sister

CosmicDust:
Thanks for the messages. I am sharing my story here is to air out a piece of my mind and also I believe many people also do have stories of sibling rivalries.
For those who told me to call and discuss issues with, anytime I do that is a reason for a fight. Infact I have been exhaustive on that. She has left the family whatsapp group and claims we all use it to extort her. 2 of us are doing well for ourselves.



Even if I dey wipe nyansh for Canada, e no go reach situation wey I no fit send at least $150 back home to my parents. This girl sends 40k. $55 a month for your parents that trained you. That is unthinkable.