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Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralRomancePlease What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? (6760 Views)

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Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by PoliteActivist: 4:13pm On Apr 03, 2023
Persephone1:
You may be right, I've seen ladies date married men. But you will be completely right if you say most married men leave married women alone.

Guys are digging married women big time and sometimes it isn't for money but fun.
There is something you are all missing - a woman can easily make herself unapproachable. By simply being consistenly formal, serious, and taciturn she will turn men away from her. Any man that tries her will quickly regret it.
Bottom line: it is women that control sex not men. Whenever sex happens just know it began with a woman displaying that she is open to it and available!
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Nobody: 4:25pm On Apr 03, 2023
PoliteActivist:
There is something you are all missing - a woman can easily make herself unapproachable. By simply being consistenly formal, serious, and taciturn she will turn men away from her. Any man that tries her will quickly regret it.
Bottom line: it is women that control sex not men. Whenever sex happens just know it began with a woman displaying that she is open to it and available!
This is you taking me back to 1400 where women are blamed for men's infidelity and promiscuity and I'm not biting.

A man is responsible for his actions and decisions just as a woman is. Take your debate to any group of mindless creatures you find.
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Mccallistas(m): 5:11pm On Apr 03, 2023
Persephone1:
This is you taking me back to 1400 where women are blamed for men's infidelity and promiscuity and I'm not biting.

A man is responsible for his actions and decisions just as a woman is. Take your debate to any group of mindless creatures you find.
No, that shouldn't turn into a debate.
If I like you so much and approach you, but you do not like me. Sex can never happen, unless it's rape.
But if sex happened, devoid of rape. It means you as a woman is interested in me or something I have...
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Nobody: 5:23pm On Apr 03, 2023
Mccallistas:
No, that shouldn't turn into a debate.
If I like you so much and approach you, but you do not like me. Sex can never happen, unless it's rape.
But if sex happened, devoid of rape. It means you as a woman is interested in me or something I have...
And from the man's perspective? Or the man in this case is a mindless zombie?
A man goes after a lady for sex but to you the lady is the only one responsible here. Is the man a kid or a zombie who is remotely controlled by what he sees and acts on it. I can't believe I'm still having this conversation in 21st century.

So much for the "logical" being!
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Mccallistas(m): 5:33pm On Apr 03, 2023
Persephone1:
And from the man's perspective? Or the man in this case is a mindless zombie?
A man goes after a lady for sex but to you the lady is the only one responsible here. Is the man a kid or a zombie who is remotely controlled by what he sees and acts on it. I can't believe I'm still having this conversation in 21st century.

So much for the "logical" being!
No dear, we are not defending the [irresponsible] men, neither are we blaming the women for showing their interest.

What I'm saying is na una get the key. You have the power to insult, reject, shame, throw any extra marital affairs into the Abis and nothing will happen.


Unless your 'No' is 'Yes.
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Nobody: 5:44pm On Apr 03, 2023
Mccallistas:
No dear, we are not defending the [irresponsible] men, neither are we blaming the women for showing their interest.

What I'm saying is na una get the key. You have the power to insult, reject, shame, throw any extra marital affairs into the Abis and nothing will happen.


Unless your 'No' is 'Yes.
At least we are getting somewhere, so there are 'irresponsible' men.

Now, do men have to be maltreated, insulted, abused, rejected and shamed before they have some dignity? Are men goats? Must men satisfy every urges or do they have to be controlled by their testosterone? What happens to overlooking temptations and staying faithful to their partners?

You are trying to make women the moral keepers and we all know where that has led us the moment they stopped trying to be the moral gatekeepers, infidelity and promiscuity everywhere. Perhaps If men were held accountable like women we all won't be where we are now.

This is a classic case of a society who train females only to release them into the hands of untrained males. It is only a matter of time before evil corrupt the good. grin grin

Keep waiting for women to throw extra marital affairs into "Abis" . And don't caution men to keep their zip locked, una never take care of another man's children enough grin
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by MrBrownJay1(m):
SundayNightGist:
Why do married men cheat?
the same reason why married women cheat!

They are everywhere- men and women who though are married- still take pride in sleeping around with other women and men (both single and married). They are in our offices (public and private), churches, schools and markets- some are even reading this post right now.
FIXED

Thing thing has not only become rampant, it is fast becoming normal but disgusting to would-be married men.
as much as many married men/women out there do cheat, this certainly shouldnt be a reason to A) believe that everyone does it or B) stop yourself from getting married.

Is it that these people don't know that chasing other women when you have your own wife at home is abnormal or you still think you're single or you just hate your wife so much?
it is indeed abnormal to some but who are you to dictate what other married men should (or not) do in their lives? if some people want to cheat let them do what they please with their sorry lives, and make sure you do what you desire in yours. in the yeye Nigerian society that we live in today, i fully understand why a man/woman would marry someone they dislike and thereafter cheat on that same person. blame Nigerian SOCIETY/CULTURE for that.

I keep asking, what is the essence of getting married when you'll still be cracking dirty jokes about women in bars and changing women like diapers every week?
because they can.... why would women all over Nigeria be falling head over hills for married men? isnt it because many of these married men sometimes turn these GF into 2nd wives etc?! how will a man find a 2nd wife if not by cheating? the Nigerian society is to blame for that, and nbody else.

Why all these lavish weddings that end up being a smokecreen for nothingness?
the desire to portray to the whole world that they are happily married, even if they are not. dont you know that marriage ceremony in Nigeria is synonymous with HAPPINESS CONFIRMATION?!?!?

Is there something married men who continue to live promiscuously after marriage are not telling us?
yes.... that you can be the worst kind of human being in this world and still be "happily married"

What could be the main reason why married men go about committing adultery?
again, NIGERIAN SOCIETY/CULTURE... if the society didnt force people to get married at any cost, many wouldnt marry total strangers to thereafter cheat on them.

as for men who cheat because their wives turned into a baby whales after marriage... lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by onumadu: 5:52pm On Apr 03, 2023
The answer lies in the fact that human beings are also animals. Duh

The only thing that separates a human being from other animals is the brain, but even that brain is still subject to basic animal instincts, like eating, pooping, fkng. You can be as "civilized" or as "intelligent" as you want, but if you fail to satiate these instincts, you will misbehave. Guaranteed.

A wise woman would do everything in her power to meet her husbands sexual needs ( ANYTHING short of harming herself).

A wise man would do everything too to ensure that his wife's sexual needs are met.

Failing which sex will happen OUTSIDE of the marriage. Guaranteed. Unless he or she is ASEXUAL.

All these name callings and sanctimonious admonitions will not change anything.
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by PoliteActivist: 5:58pm On Apr 03, 2023
Persephone1:
This is you taking me back to 1400 where women are blamed for men's infidelity and promiscuity and I'm not biting.

A man is responsible for his actions and decisions just as a woman is. Take your debate to any group of mindless creatures you find.
1400 years ago a man could have as many wives/women as he could afford and who were willing, and men did just that - because that's how NATURE made them. Women on the other hand would rather sleep with just one man but be flirtatious and admired by lots of men. Now, you want men to curb their polygamous nature but women continue to maintain their flirtatious nature. The fair thing would be that women dress in that moslem black burka covering them head to toe!
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Mccallistas(m): 5:59pm On Apr 03, 2023
Persephone1:
At least we are getting somewhere, so there are 'irresponsible' men.

Now you do men have to be maltreated, insulted, abused, rejected and shamed before they have some dignity? Are men goats? Must men satisfy every urges or do they have to be controlled by their testosterone? What happens to overlooking temptations and staying faithful to their partners?

You are trying to make women the moral keepers and we all know where that has led us the moment they stopped trying to be the moral gatekeepers, infidelity and promiscuity everywhere. Perhaps If men were held accountable like women we all won't be where we are now.

This is a classic case of a society who train females only to release them into the hands of untrained males. It is only a matter of time before evil corrupt the good. grin grin

Keep waiting for women to throw extra marital affairs into "Abis" . And don't caution men to keep their zip locked, una never take care of another man's children enough grin
Hahahaha...

Imagine the trained women.

So where is the training then?

If I have an apartment for rent. I would be blamed for accepting a nuisance into my apartment without proper scrutiny.

Women are not weak!

Give honour to whom honour is due.

So you as a person, you don't know how to keep irresponsible men away from youhuh

Anybody can come knock at your door, even a mad man but na who you allow go come in...
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Nobody: 6:02pm On Apr 03, 2023
Mccallistas:
Hahahaha...

Imagine the trained women.

So where is the training then?

If I have an apartment for rent. I would be blamed for accepting a nuisance into my apartment without proper scrutiny.

Women are not weak!

Give honour to whom honour is due.

So you as a person, you don't know how to keep irresponsible men away from youhuh

Anybody can come knock at your door, even a mad man but na who you allow go come in...
I have a rule: Never peel corn unto the back of calabash grin

You are right. 👍
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Nobody: 6:03pm On Apr 03, 2023
PoliteActivist:
1400 years ago a man could have as many wives/women as he could afford and who were willing, and men did just that - because that's how NATURE made them. Women on the other hand would rather sleep with just one man but be flirtatious and admired by lots of men. Now, you want men to curb their polygamous nature but women continue to maintain their flirtatious nature. The fair thing would be that women dress in that moslem black burka covering them head to toe!
You are right too grin
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by LilMissFavvy(f): 7:19pm On Apr 03, 2023
The answer to your question cannot be found in the options you gave.

The answer is CULTURE.

African forefathers taught the male folk to disrespect' women and never be faithful. They made horrible unfair laws to restrict women from cheating, while they encouraged men to mess' around as they wished.
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by davillian(m): 7:46pm On Apr 03, 2023
Only few men can control that hunger to cheat....
Sometimes men would want to test his hunting skills lmao....
Sometimes women indirectly force thier husband to cheat....I've heard of men begging thier wife for sex such man can leave the wife and get a side chic.
Some women after one child they begging to behave like grandma and be tying wrapper up and down....
As for why women cheat hmmmm
This one is complex o.
If she is sex starved
If the husband doesn't gives her his time and attention she might end up falling for such man and might give him sex
For money
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by kingslj: 8:12pm On Apr 03, 2023
donbachi:
Not supporting it either.but,some married women are the cause.
1: No more shaving of armpits and down below
2: No more brushing of mouths and bathing before eating.some will eat morning, afternoon and night before brushing
3: No more hanging of legs at the ceilings, doggie styles
4: No goodbye and welcome kisses
5: No more BJ,but want their pvssies sucked by men
6: No respect
7: Not submissive
you forgot to add.

8. Bringing other men children to the marriage
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Nobody: 11:21pm On Apr 03, 2023
MrBrownJay1:
the same reason why married women cheat!



FIXED



as much as many married men/women out there do cheat, this certainly shouldnt be a reason to A) believe that everyone does it or B) stop yourself from getting married.



it is indeed abnormal to some but who are you to dictate what other married men should (or not) do in their lives? if some people want to cheat let them do what they please with their sorry lives, and make sure you do what you desire in yours. in the yeye Nigerian society that we live in today, i fully understand why a man/woman would marry someone they dislike and thereafter cheat on that same person. blame Nigerian SOCIETY/CULTURE for that.



because they can.... why would women all over Nigeria be falling head over hills for married men? isnt it because many of these married men sometimes turn these GF into 2nd wives etc?! how will a man find a 2nd wife if not by cheating? the Nigerian society is to blame for that, and nbody else.



the desire to portray to the whole world that they are happily married, even if they are not. dont you know that marriage ceremony in Nigeria is synonymous with HAPPINESS CONFIRMATION?!?!?



yes.... that you can be the worst kind of human being in this world and still be "happily married"



again, NIGERIAN SOCIETY/CULTURE... if the society didnt force people to get married at any cost, many wouldnt marry total stranger to thereafter cheat on them.
Whoever you are Sir, I duff my hat for you.
You got me glued reading your responses.
Thank you for taking the time to do justice to this very vital and sensitive issue.
Bless you Sir, sincerely.
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Nobody: 11:23pm On Apr 03, 2023
Persephone1:
Lol . It was the day he wanted to direct his flight from PH to Lagos (closest state to my state) to see me that's when I know he is a professional adulterer true true. He has been onshore for months instead of him to go meet his wife, he wan travel miles come see woman.

I told him, "see if you come ordinary bra strap you won't see. You better go meet your wife, pregnant wife for that matter.".

What I see married men and women do made me lose interest in Nigerian marriage.
Wow, this is serious! shocked
Things dey occur oooo grin
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Nobody: 11:24pm On Apr 03, 2023
kokoA:
Monogamy is alien to our culture.
Hmmmn!
This one deep mehn...
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Nobody: 11:29pm On Apr 03, 2023
PoliteActivist:
At all. It is a great deception on men. All you have to do is look at when a child is living with his father and stepmother compared to when a child is living with his mother and stepfather. Women are stronger
Hmmmn! Point, point, you get point my bro.
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Nobody: 11:31pm On Apr 03, 2023
advanceDNA:
Vawulence only...no time for peace....
Abeg oo, this page does not support vawulence oo grin
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Badb0y4lyf(m): 2:09am On Apr 04, 2023
It has always been so. our fore fathers had two or three wife even the men of old all in the Bible and Koran had more than a wife or different concubines or mistress. The white man just came telling us man is ment to marry just one wife which is fundamentally wrong it goes against nature however looking at it from the perspective of man having freedom to have many wife there would be population explosion and the current resources on earth won’t be able to sustain mankind. However man is an animal first before shoe and tie the instinct to propagate procreate and dominate sexually will always be there.
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by falcon01: 5:54am On Apr 04, 2023
donbachi:
Not supporting it either.but,some married women are the cause.
1: No more shaving of armpits and down below
2: No more brushing of mouths and bathing before eating.some will eat morning, afternoon and night before brushing
3: No more hanging of legs at the ceilings, doggie styles
4: No goodbye and welcome kisses
5: No more BJ,but want their pvssies sucked by men
6: No respect
7: Not submissive
You said it all! And women blame you for checking other ladies out. Well if the fun days of your life are over, mine ain't. I still love you but you can't keep the least you can do is let me get a youngblood outside and keep it going 🤣. With this said, I believe a man is not meant to be with one woman! Religious or not, Traditional or not, a man is Built to have many women! Its just This white men coming and telling the world how to be civilised how not to marry a girl below 18 when 30 years ago they married girls as young as 15 years old and all of a sudden they be like nah! That's wrong.
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Katcall: 9:38am On Apr 04, 2023
PoliteActivist:
Maybe you are the only one who hasn't seen videos of single ladies saying they prefer married men.
The world in general tend to think women are less powerful than they really are. If you analyze things carefully you'd realise women are actually the stronger sex. If you always bear this in mind as a man you may be able to even things a bit.

A woman can seduce a man (sometimes easily) who doesn't even like her into sex. But a woman will not have sex with a man she doesn't like unless she's getting something she wants in exchange!
hmm. may your wisdom never run dry
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Katcall: 9:41am On Apr 04, 2023
zed7:
Honestly, I can't say if cheating is a choice or there is a cheating gene. Chasing women is stressful. I have friends who are obsessed with women, always looking for a new woman to conquer. I can't understand it.

We did a bit of that when single, for fun and adventure, but I don't know what drives these men to still continue after marriage.

Chasing women is a fruitless exercise when married. You gain absolutely nothing. You lose time, resources, respect, peace and emotional stability. I can't yet see one positive thing about womanising as a married man.
are you a eunuch?
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Katcall: 9:45am On Apr 04, 2023
Persephone1:
Lol . It was the day he wanted to direct his flight from PH to Lagos (closest state to my state) to see me that's when I know he is a professional adulterer true true. He has been onshore for months instead of him to go meet his wife, he wan travel miles come see woman.

I told him, "see if you come ordinary bra strap you won't see. You better go meet your wife, pregnant wife for that matter.".

What I see married men and women do made me lose interest in Nigerian marriage.
how many men have you slept with?
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Laurene: 9:46am On Apr 04, 2023
kokoA:
Do not judge us with the white man's laws biko. African men are polygamous from birth weather you agree with me or not. Our forefathers married many women and have plenty concubines but their society then was more loving and peaceful than what we have now. There's no word for 'adultery' abi "cheating" in any African language, which means it doesn't exist.
I wanna like your post but I hope you're not a tribalist on Nairaland?
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Katcall: 9:47am On Apr 04, 2023
Persephone1:
You may be right, I've seen ladies date married men. But you will be completely right if you say most married men leave married women alone.

Guys are digging married women big time and sometimes it isn't for money but fun.
i find married women sexually unattractive after childbirth
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Divoc19(f):
There is still chance for a change if you realize on time

thesicilian:
The single greatest decision you will ever make is your choice of life partner. Choose wrongly and you are doomed for life
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by superCleanworks(m): 10:44am On Apr 04, 2023
SundayNightGist:
Somebody should help we upcoming eligible bachelors with answers abeg cos I don dey vex laidis.
little pig : "DADDY WHY IS YOUR MOUTH VERY LONG?"
father : when you get to my level you will know if your own mouth will be short or longer than my own
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by kelspinall(m): 10:48am On Apr 04, 2023
seriously what I see nowadays in marriage made not to think about it... May I no even go relationship side shaaa...


but on a serious note to the both genders: if you are not ready to settle down and have a family, please be single .. don't fuhkin play with human heart and feelings... you no fit come out when you jam de wrong person...
Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Thecan(m): 10:49am On Apr 04, 2023
Persephone1:
Lol . It was the day he wanted to direct his flight from PH to Lagos (closest state to my state) to see me that's when I know he is a professional adulterer true true. He has been onshore for months instead of him to go meet his wife, he wan travel miles come see woman.

I told him, "see if you come ordinary bra strap you won't see. You better go meet your wife, pregnant wife for that matter.".

What I see married men and women do made me lose interest in Nigerian marriage.
Just say u no see husband marry undecided undecided

Re: Please What's The Essence Of Marriage If I End Up Like This? by Truthsbitter: 10:50am On Apr 04, 2023
donbachi:
Not supporting it either.but,some married women are the cause.
1: No more shaving of armpits and down below
2: No more brushing of mouths and bathing before eating.some will eat morning, afternoon and night before brushing
3: No more hanging of legs at the ceilings, doggie styles
4: No goodbye and welcome kisses
5: No more BJ,but want their pvssies sucked by men
6: No respect
7: Not submissive
Nice one
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