₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkiee:
1. Did Op who married her and had a child all while severally shackled to poverty himself marry her for love or for his libido and convenience? Abeg make una reason well before una post abeg!

Poorer people marry and remain happy together, in their state of poverty.......

It was obvious, she was looking for a poverty alleviation hubby........ The moment she realised he was not minted, she took to her heels 👠........

Lexusgs430:
■ She was working, but refused to contribute (since her husband, did not bother asking her to contribute).......
■ It's about time, this mentality of only the man contributing towards the family expenses, become extinct........

1. Gbam! OP opted for hypogamy in he is reaping the chaps of it already.

2. Are these men ready to give up on becoming gods to settle in as partners of pretty much equal status as their wives in marriage?

Kobojunkiee:
1. Gbam! OP opted for hypogamy in he is reaping the chaps of it already.

2. Are these men ready to give up on becoming gods to settle in as partners of pretty much equal status as their wives in marriage?

People would either have to learn, from other people's experiences or foolishly decide to make their own mistakes........

Marriage is a partnership agreement, it takes 2 ...... 2 MUST financially contribute.......

Your wife does not deserve you, there are many women who worked and takes care of the home while their husbands went back to school, she abandoned you because of the first challenge in your marriage it's obvious she doesn't love you to start with, she is all about money and if you later make it she will want to come back, what is her testimony about her marriage if she cannot endure for better for worse, even if you come out of this there will still be challenges down the road because that's life, she might abandon you again at a point when you will not be strong enough to withstand it, may be you should look for a woman who truly love you and is serious about marriage. How can she have mouth when you become a billionaire, can she say she was there when you had nothing, she does not even pity you. Very bad

Lexusgs430:
■ Poorer people marry and remain happy together, in their state of poverty.......
■ It was obvious, she was looking for a poverty alleviation hubby........ The moment she realised he was not minted, she took to her heels 👠........

1. That one na for fairy tales abeg! Reality is a lot harsher.

2. There is nothing wrong with her looking for a poverty alleviation hubby given that the traditional marriage setting offers exactly that as benefit to women who would choose to submit to their spouses in marriage. So let's not now pretend she is evil for bowing to that generally accepted notion of what marriage has meant since the time of our forefathers simply because some are now finally waking up to the reality of what it has always been.

Lexusgs430:
■ People would either have to learn, from other people's experiences or foolishly decide to make their own mistakes........

Marriage is a partnership agreement, it takes 2 ...... 2 MUST financially contribute.......

1. Marriage is only a partnership if and only if the partners agree to being partners. Otherwise it is a sole proprietorship with the man as the head of the family and the woman as an employee who expects to get paid for her services regularly..

GeorgeForeman:
I had to create a new account specifically for this post.

Today makes it 7 months my left with my kid.

I married my wife in feb 2021 in a low key ceremony.I have known my wife for years before get married to her as we lived in same compound.She is from Imo and I am from Enugu state.She is 23 and i am 26

We have a daughter together.Trouble began about 7 months after my daughter was born,my wife always complained i dont give her enough money for upkeep.I work as a security guard for a company earning 75k monthly.Out of that 75k,I remit 40k to her monthly for upkeep.She is a school teacher but i don't really know how much she earns.

Given the situation of things in the country,I know she may be right when she says the money i give her isn't enough but i am genuinely trying my best.it hasn't been easy.

Asides from her nagging about upkeep money,my wife is a good woman.She cooks and takes good care of our daughter.

Things got worse when the company i was working for folded up.I think the owner got involved in some shady deals and the company building and assests were confiscated.I was without a job for some time and we were surviving on my savings and and some menial jobs i was getting.

Times were hard.I opened up to my wife that i want to learn cctv And solar panel installation.I viewed this as a good skill to learn and have.I enrolled and i am an apprentice now learning alongside some other boys.

My wife couldn't bear any longer and she left with our kid without informing me.I have called her mom to beg.She said she will talk to her.I don't even know where she is though i heard she stays with her aunty.

I have begged her to return home to no avail.The issue is affecting me emotionally and mentally.I mean i'm already having a hard time trying to learn this skill,why should my wife add to it?

I really need the encouragement and warmth of my wife especially now i haven't been feeling fine for some time

Pathetic bro. But hey! braze up. Challenges such as this are for human beings. The best revenge is success. Your wife and kid will be back as soon as you break even. Forget her for now and concentrate on your skill , work very hard and make money. wire her 200k one day and add a little begging , then she will say "you ehnnnnnn", anyway, i forgive you. And before you say jack! she and your daughter will be back. All the best.

Stevenbright:
A teaser--- "What if she is with another man right now"?

Nothing is impossible.
This is a possibility.

I know a guy whose wife left to live with another guy. Guess what, that other guy is jobless. This woman comes home, cooks, estsfeeds her kids packs the rest to the other guy leaving nothing for the husband.
Husband took a loan for her to rent a shop, she took the money to rent an apartment where she and the other guy moved to.

Things are really happening.

Kobojunkiee:
1. That one na for fairy tales abeg! Reality is a lot harsher.

2. There is nothing wrong with her looking for a poverty alleviation hubby given that the traditional marriage setting offers exactly that as benefit to women who would choose to submit to their spouses in marriage. So let's not now pretend she is evil for bowing to that generally accepted notion of what marriage has meant since the time of our forefathers simply because some are now finally waking up to the reality of what it has always been.

Looking for a PAH, in a hubby that cannot meet your needs...... Is almost a state a madness.......

She knew he was a security guard, yet decided to marry him ........ Rather than assist financially, she runs away ........ Miracle no dey tire Jesus.......

Lexusgs430:
■ Looking for a PAH, in a hubby that cannot meet your needs...... Is almost a state a madness....... She knew he was a security guard, yet decided to marry him ........ Rather than assist financially, she runs away ........ Miracle no dey tire Jesus.......

1. She didn't have a gun to his head, did she?

Again, stop trying to blame the woman for OP's failure to adequately meet his end of the bargain which is to take full financial responsibility for his family. Op admits to his fault in this.

Kobojunkiee:
1. Marriage is only a partnership if and only if the partners agree to being partners. Otherwise it is a sole proprietorship with the man as the head of the family and the woman as an employee who expects to get paid for her services regularly..

When a partnership arrangement, becomes a sole proprietorship...... It's doomed to fail .......

Kobojunkiee:
1. She didn't have a gun to his head, did she?

Again, stop trying to blame the woman for OP's failure to adequately meet his end of the bargain which is to take full financial responsibility for his family. Op admits to his fault in this.

OP probably was relying on God, to provide ........ This is happens, when expectations never matches realities.......

Marriage no be child's play, it has its ups and downs even when you thought you figured it all out, how both of you manage the situation is what makes yours different.

Nevertheless, use this opportunity to equip yourself, both financial and other wise, learn and unlearn, and don't forget to reach on your family financially..

It is well with you both!

Op take this advice and move on.

EriMma1:
Money go, woman go. When I was warning you guys in my post that a woman needs to be taken care of if you want your marriage to last, some empty skull said I too like men matter. Now see.

This skill is what you ought to have learnt first, then build your financial security before talking about marriage but You men like putting the cart before the horse.

Number 2, marriage is not for children. Forget the general opinion that it's better to marry a younger girl. mature ladies are still far better in terms of managing hard times and handling tough situations unlike your 23 yr old who has not been through lifes hurdles or surmounted challenges on her own. Prolly she just moved in with you from her parents house where everything is being done for her.

As long as you're still broke and can't meet her needs yet, no amount of begging will make her come back cos that was why she left in the first place.

Focus and complete your skill training. Make sure you learn it very well and start sourcing for jobs.. Also keep looking for a regular job to sustain in the meantime. Forget about her but try to send upkeep for your child

If you hammer tomorrow, look for a mature lady and marry.

All this 20 yr old ladies without tangible source of income rushing into marriage with average Nigerian guys, I pity all of you. You people think marriage is childs play. Make una dey play.

GeorgeForeman:
I had to create a new account specifically for this post.

Today makes it 7 months my left with my kid.

I married my wife in feb 2021 in a low key ceremony.I have known my wife for years before get married to her as we lived in same compound.She is from Imo and I am from Enugu state.She is 23 and i am 26

We have a daughter together.Trouble began about 7 months after my daughter was born,my wife always complained i dont give her enough money for upkeep.I work as a security guard for a company earning 75k monthly.Out of that 75k,I remit 40k to her monthly for upkeep.She is a school teacher but i don't really know how much she earns.

Given the situation of things in the country,I know she may be right when she says the money i give her isn't enough but i am genuinely trying my best.it hasn't been easy.

Asides from her nagging about upkeep money,my wife is a good woman.She cooks and takes good care of our daughter.

Things got worse when the company i was working for folded up.I think the owner got involved in some shady deals and the company building and assests were confiscated.I was without a job for some time and we were surviving on my savings and and some menial jobs i was getting.

Times were hard.I opened up to my wife that i want to learn cctv And solar panel installation.I viewed this as a good skill to learn and have.I enrolled and i am an apprentice now learning alongside some other boys.

My wife couldn't bear any longer and she left with our kid without informing me.I have called her mom to beg.She said she will talk to her.I don't even know where she is though i heard she stays with her aunty.

I have begged her to return home to no avail.The issue is affecting me emotionally and mentally.I mean i'm already having a hard time trying to learn this skill,why should my wife add to it?

I really need the encouragement and warmth of my wife especially now i haven't been feeling fine for some time

bro. I have read the advice of so many here.

Some telling you to go look for money when you make money, you should go bring back the same woman that abandoned you when you lost your job.

Who is a true wife? It's not enough to just say she is a good woman. Leaving you now when you need the best encouragement and motivator is a big crime that you should also consider when you make the money and want her back.

A woman who can not stay by her man when things are rough should never be called a wife.

Marriage is a two way traffic, the man and his supporter. That's how God made it. Today, where is your so called supporter? She ran away.

For me God knows, if you can't be with me when I don't have, Then you are not worthy to be with me when I have. This life is not a bed of roses. Marriage is not a bed of roses 🌹 too.

There are hard times and easy times.... There are bad times and good times. Every through wife should understand that.

Bro. I wish you good luck, when you finally make the money only to go and bring back a woman who abandoned you when you lost everything. I wish you best of luck.

For me, If I finally get the money.. God knows I'm finding another wife. She can't come back to my house. Because, she humiliated you and brought shame to you.

There are still men who lost everything, job, money, house etc. Yet their wives didn't run away, their wives stood still.


That's the kind of women men should be think of marrying. Let nobody tell you that marriage is all about money. If marriage is all about money then marriage is a shameless and useless institution.

GeorgeForeman:
Times were hard.I opened up to my wife that i want to learn cctv And solar panel installation.I viewed this as a good skill to learn and have.I enrolled and i am an apprentice now learning alongside some other boys.

My wife couldn't bear any longer and she left with our kid without informing me.I have called her mom to beg.She said she will talk to her.I don't even know where she is though i heard she stays with her aunty.

Bros. I salute you for being a man and taking the bold step to learn something that can put real money in your bank and make you a boss.
All this other ones that are happening in your life is just temptation for you to go back to square one but you have to be very strong now.
1. You have already talked to the mother and your wifey family is already aware that you did not chase your wife away plus all your effort to bring her back.
2. You have confirmed that wifey is alive and even well enough to ignore you. it would have been a different matter if she was kidnapped.
3. She be Igbo woman. Do not lose focus over a matter that you know will surely be resolved when it is time. Right now is not the time for crying and emotional weights. It is hard but this is how things are right now.

for now, put your hustle ambition on full gear and dont look back. They will come back when that money is back in shape

Na toto dey sweet you to knack.

Instead of investing on yourself first and get steady means of livelihood, you chose to put the poor girl and your baby in financial kwashiokor!

My advice for you is that you let her go while you concentrate on building up yourself first. After you've made it, search for them and possess your daughter.

That girl is not a faithful wife because marriage is for better for worse.

Why marry and have a child without a meaningful career on top 75k income?

The woman has done you a big favour by leaving,

kindly focus on yourself, your job, and your career.

Are you begging the poor lady to come back to hunger and poverty? You are not financially mature enough for marriage pls. stop bothering the poor lady and innocent child that you knowingly brought into the world to suffer.

garriAndsugar:
you just have to concentrate and learn the job so you can be useful to yourself and family.
hustle so that when she returns you can also add another wife incase one goes the other one will remain

This guy is a great councillor. But please don't let him add another wife

GeorgeForeman:
It was a mistake marrying at that time.I didn't have foresight.Let me just focus on getting better.It has been wearing me down but it will not break me.i will keep managing myself while doing the apprenticeship.

It is never a mistake marrying young.You and your wife only need to dubble hustling so you both can take care of your child.
Marriage is a partnership not a slave house for the man.

Skyview01:
Why marry and have a child without a meaningful career on top 75k income?

The woman has done you a big favour by leaving,

kindly focus on yourself, your job, and your career.

Are you begging the poor lady to come back to hunger and poverty? You are not financially mature enough for marriage pls. stop bothering the poor lady and innocent child that you knowingly brought into the world to suffer.

are you saying that an adult female is useless in marriage? An adult female can not engage in meaning things that can also fetch her money to support her husband when things gets bad?

Are saying the moment a man marries, his wife should completely depend on her husband for everything for the rest of her life?

For your info bro, there are still women who are bread winners. There are still women who are pillars of their families. There are still women who support their husbands.

You people should stop monetizing marriage.

garriAndsugar:
you just have to concentrate and learn the job so you can be useful to yourself and family.
hustle so that when she returns you can also add another wife incase one goes the other one will remain

Gbam. U gave nailed it.

Op, if you have the strength, please go and learn carpentry. Start as a labourer and you will be taking home 3,500 every day. After you master it, you go dey cash out steady.

I don't know why many people have refused to open their eyes to the opportunity inherent in having a carpentry skill.

When I was in between jobs, I used the carpentry skill I acquired during my undergraduate days to take care of myself and family with little to save.

Try it and thank me later.


PS: If you are not physically strong and industrious, just forget it!

Una wey dey see marriage as end-all and be-all get psychological issues. I can’t give you advice because it’ll run contrary to your indoctrination.

Don't worry, things will get better soon. You married for sex not to build family. The girl you got married to was not ready for such. Be sending money to that woman you call your in-law. She is the one keeping your wife. If you refused to pacify her now, she will marry your wife/girlfriend to another man. The way you sound suggested that you have not paid her dowry.

I got married to my wife when she was 23, when financial difficulty came, I smelled my anus. But I stood my ground. Although she was a good wife without misbehaving in terms of immoral.

mariahAngel:
Since you've asked (and begged) her to come back and she has refused, then ignore her.

Make the most of the freedom that you've been given to focus on and build yourself.
Don't be too needy.
Preserve your dignity.

When she's had enough of her vacation , she'll come back.
If not, good riddance.

Hehehe, Good riddance ke, to bad rubbishhhhhhhhh, next news jare

GeorgeForeman:
I had to create a new account specifically for this post.

Today makes it 7 months my left with my kid.

I married my wife in feb 2021 in a low key ceremony.I have known my wife for years before get married to her as we lived in same compound.She is from Imo and I am from Enugu state.She is 23 and i am 26

We have a daughter together.Trouble began about 7 months after my daughter was born,my wife always complained i dont give her enough money for upkeep.I work as a security guard for a company earning 75k monthly.Out of that 75k,I remit 40k to her monthly for upkeep.She is a school teacher but i don't really know how much she earns.

Given the situation of things in the country,I know she may be right when she says the money i give her isn't enough but i am genuinely trying my best.it hasn't been easy.

Asides from her nagging about upkeep money,my wife is a good woman.She cooks and takes good care of our daughter.

Things got worse when the company i was working for folded up.I think the owner got involved in some shady deals and the company building and assests were confiscated.I was without a job for some time and we were surviving on my savings and and some menial jobs i was getting.

Times were hard.I opened up to my wife that i want to learn cctv And solar panel installation.I viewed this as a good skill to learn and have.I enrolled and i am an apprentice now learning alongside some other boys.

My wife couldn't bear any longer and she left with our kid without informing me.I have called her mom to beg.She said she will talk to her.I don't even know where she is though i heard she stays with her aunty.

I have begged her to return home to no avail.The issue is affecting me emotionally and mentally.I mean i'm already having a hard time trying to learn this skill,why should my wife add to it?

I really need the encouragement and warmth of my wife especially now i haven't been feeling fine for some time

Sincerely women dnt like suffering, but marriage is for better for worst... This trying time is a time ur wife should have glued to you n fight the life battle together...

If ur renumeration is insufficient let her add too.

My advice, face ur apprenticeship n learn it to mastery...

Then u bounce back... As for the woman she has no iota of love for u.

EriMma1:
Money go, woman go. When I was warning you guys in my post that a woman needs to be taken care of if you want your marriage to last, some empty skull said I too like men matter. Now see.

This skill is what you ought to have learnt first, then build your financial security before talking about marriage but You men like putting the cart before the horse.

Number 2, marriage is not for children. Forget the general opinion that it's better to marry a younger girl. mature ladies are still far better in terms of managing hard times and handling tough situations unlike your 23 yr old who has not been through lifes hurdles or surmounted challenges on her own. Prolly she just moved in with you from her parents house where everything is being done for her.

As long as you're still broke and can't meet her needs yet, no amount of begging will make her come back cos that was why she left in the first place.

Focus and complete your skill training. Make sure you learn it very well and start sourcing for jobs.. Also keep looking for a regular job to sustain in the meantime. Forget about her but try to send upkeep for your child

If you hammer tomorrow, look for a mature lady and marry.

All this 20 yr old ladies without tangible source of income rushing into marriage with average Nigerian guys, I pity all of you. You people think marriage is childs play. Make una dey play.

Thanks

Klass99:
But I thought you people said you are logical and not emotional, and women bring nothing to the table except sex?

Again, I mean no offence to you I couldn't help myself . You will be alright OP, in fact all of una go dey alright las las.

Shut up

EriMma1:
Money go, woman go. When I was warning you guys in my post that a woman needs to be taken care of if you want your marriage to last, some empty skull said I too like men matter. Now see.

This skill is what you ought to have learnt first, then build your financial security before talking about marriage but You men like putting the cart before the horse.

Number 2, marriage is not for children. Forget the general opinion that it's better to marry a younger girl. mature ladies are still far better in terms of managing hard times and handling tough situations unlike your 23 yr old who has not been through lifes hurdles or surmounted challenges on her own. Prolly she just moved in with you from her parents house where everything is being done for her.

As long as you're still broke and can't meet her needs yet, no amount of begging will make her come back cos that was why she left in the first place.

Focus and complete your skill training. Make sure you learn it very well and start sourcing for jobs.. Also keep looking for a regular job to sustain in the meantime. Forget about her but try to send upkeep for your child

If you hammer tomorrow, look for a mature lady and marry.

All this 20 yr old ladies without tangible source of income rushing into marriage with average Nigerian guys, I pity all of you. You people think marriage is childs play. Make una dey play.

Guy are you in any way related to Hakimi? You get a sense like him, check if no be the mama born you

GeorgeForeman:
Ok

You have to be strong sir, women are like that anywhere that's why divorce is so rampant. And for your information money still don't keep women just look at Hakimi's case, Na only God grace and prayers, focus on yourself first now