EriMma1:
Money go, woman go. When I was warning you guys in my post that a woman needs to be taken care of if you want your marriage to last, some empty skull said I too like men matter. Now see.

This skill is what you ought to have learnt first, then build your financial security before talking about marriage but You men like putting the cart before the horse.

Number 2, marriage is not for children. Forget the general opinion that it's better to marry a younger girl. mature ladies are still far better in terms of managing hard times and handling tough situations unlike your 23 yr old who has not been through lifes hurdles or surmounted challenges on her own. Prolly she just moved in with you from her parents house where everything is being done for her.

As long as you're still broke and can't meet her needs yet, no amount of begging will make her come back cos that was why she left in the first place.

Focus and complete your skill training. Make sure you learn it very well and start sourcing for jobs.. Also keep looking for a regular job to sustain in the meantime. Forget about her but try to send upkeep for your child

If you hammer tomorrow, look for a mature lady and marry.

All this 20 yr old ladies without tangible source of income rushing into marriage with average Nigerian guys, I pity all of you. You people think marriage is childs play. Make una dey play.

Op here is the best reply to your post

Marrying immature women will be the undoing of many guys. Except for very few 20yrs old women
Many of them can't stand the heat in marriage. Marriage no be beans, it's not for small children.

If not for the matured woman I married, by now my marriage would have been scattered. There were times I was really behaving like a pric.k, as in. But this woman still stayed by me.

It was later my eyes opened that I really messed up big time, I retracted my steps and changed for good.
If not for the wonderful matured woman I married, e for done be for me.

But many young women can't stand the heat. They will definitely leave.

So op brace yourself, pick up and get going. Let God come through for you, make e better for you.
It's not easy having a woman around you and next she is gone.
Just be strong. You will get over it

Gasayi:
■ They just leave everything for men. I believe marriage should be 50 50 all hand must be on deck to bring something to the table now. Before you marry make sure you have something meaningful going on for you. Not just one job but other side hustle that print money for you. Also look out for the kind woman you are getting married to.

1. They just leave everything to men or do men choose to sit as head over the woman who submits to them in marriage? You can't have it both ways though. Either you wish to be head of household or you share 50-50 as partners. Pick one!

peacefulhome:
Ladies of now adays are not ready to suffer with any man. If not, why can't she be little more patient for the husband to bounce back.

Why should she be patient? He promised to be head over her, taking care of all her financial needs while she submits to him in return. He failed to meet his end of the bargain as far as she is concerned, something he himself does not refute, even with an additional mouth to feed.

victorazy:
■ What's she doing with her own money?

1. How much does a school teacher in that country earn? Combine that with what OP makes and see how that comes nowhere to fend for a family of 3 in this economy no matter which way you slice and dice it. Now, imagine when OP's share is no longer available... as in he says he lost his job. What do you expect her to do for 3 mouths with what she makes? Magic?

Johnchrix:
Don’t be deceived abt sexual attractions or love. It doesn’t exist and it’s just a mirage. There’s what we call change (s) when it sets in, in character or action wise, sex doesn’t have a role to play. When u have a woman that talk before she thinks, showed up with laziness and lackadaisical attitude in the name of “am married” everything will start collapsing. Do not ever make the mistake of marrying for romantic love, love is a fallacy, its a tool used to manipulate weak minds. If you want to marry without regrets, marry based on the qualities and things that will ensure the growth or expansion of your financial wealth, sustainability of your success and lineage. Marry like the Royal families. 

LOL.... What in the world convinced you that OP himself married for love and not Konji? He married his wife and even had a child while strapped down by poverty and you think that spells love on his part? Abegi!

Akalia:
Bro truly marriage opens doors but only when the man has got vision and committed to it. I am a living witness.

Rubbish!

djon78:
■ Op here is the best reply to your post Marrying immature women will be the undoing of many guys. Except for very few 20yrs old women. Many of them can't stand the heat in marriage. Marriage no be beans, it's not for small children.
■ If not for the matured woman I married, by now my marriage would have been scattered. There were times I was really behaving like a pric.k, as in. But this woman still stayed by me. It was later my eyes opened that I really messed up big time, I retracted my steps and changed for good. If not for the wonderful matured woman I married, e for done be for me. But many young women can't stand the heat. They will definitely leave. So op brace yourself, pick up and get going. Let God come through for you, make e better for you. It's not easy having a woman around you and next she is gone. Just be strong. You will get over it

1. Does OP sound to you like someone who is more mature than the woman he married?

2. Ah, I see! You were immature and married a mature woman who you claim stayed with you. But if that mature woman had abandoned your immature arse, you would have come on to blame her for leaving you, right? Una assessment dey make person wonder which way Nigerians abeg!

deathmen12:
you where just 26 with 75k salary, the only thing that enter your head was to get married to a young girl of 23years with a teaching job probably with salary of 30k, what’s wrong with you people? Instead of you to develop yourself more with your small 75k salary, you allow them to deceive you with usual talk of I marry my wife when I was earning 15k lol, you didn’t just marry oo you also rush born children with your 75k salary... until you finally became jobless, then God decide to give you a second chance by making your wife to go away with the kids so that you use that opportunity to build yourself and be stable financially, nw you came your to disturb us cos sex done Dey hungry you, if your wife was around who knows another pikin for done enter, Oga I feel like slapping you like this. Guy learn your skill and master it very well, then get back on your feet financially and go look for your kids. As for your wife na you know.

They will never learn...Ndi, My children should grow with me.

She doesn't understand what marriage entails and the earlier you start teaching her, the better for you 2. Times like this will always come. You both must hold hands together and defeat it.

clockwisereport:


Yes. That is life for you. You don't expect something to favour everybody but you do not generalize

Majority they say does what again?

Just let her go, she will never change
Fight for ur baby..

greatiyk4u:


Majority they say does what again?

how did you arrive at your "majority" ?

clockwisereport:

how did you arrive at your "majority" ?

From records in my disposal, from documented divorce cases
The clear secret is that certain lifestyle the tolerate is absurd among your nsukka people....let's leave it here

greatiyk4u:


From records in my disposal, from documented divorce cases
The clear secret is that certain lifestyle the tolerate is absurd among your nsukka people....let's leave it here

nonsense record from your dull brain

clockwisereport:


nonsense record from your dull brain

Weldone Mr sharp brain without decorum.

greatiyk4u:


Weldone Mr sharp brain without decorum.

you first roped in Nsukka into your post even when OP never made mention of that. you also brought in Mbaise.

according to you, your mum is from Owerri. i am sure you , you have never seen Owerri marriages that collapsed.

clockwisereport:


you first roped in Nsukka into your post even when OP never made mention of that. you also brought in Mbaise.

according to you, your mum is from Owerri. i am sure you , you have never seen Owerri marriages that collapsed.

You see you are the dull person
I asked the op, that I guess he is from nsukka as he noted he is from Enugu state, I equally asked if the wife na Mbaise as he equally reported the state of the wife to be imo

I wrote in igbo to avoid sounding slurred ethnically
Asserting that it doesn't usually end well based on my personal experience and records on ground...no harm intended, failed marriages knows no boundary bro.

greatiyk4u:


You see you are the dull person
I asked the op, that I guess he is from nsukka as he noted he is from Enugu state, I equally asked if the wife na Mbaise as he equally reported the state of the wife to be imo

I wrote in igbo to avoid sounding slurred ethnically
Asserting that it doesn't usually end well based on my personal experience and records on ground...no harm intended, failed marriages knows no boundary bro.

wetin bring Nsuuka and Mbaise into your post if you had no ulterior motive? how many Nsukka/Mbaise marriages have you witnessed to arrive at your stupidconclusion? have you not seen failed marriages between people from your town/community?

Kobojunkiee:
1. How much does a school teacher in that country earn? Combine that with what OP makes and see how that comes nowhere to fend for a family of 3 in this economy no matter which way you slice and dice it. Now, imagine when OP's share is no longer available... as in he says he lost his job. What do you expect her to do for 3 mouths with what she makes? Magic?

No amount is little, is all about Love, Commitment, Determination, Vision and Dream.

When I married my wife we had nothing, we stayed in one room selfcon. As a young architect, my work was seasonal, sometimes I go several months without any income and she was newly graduated with no work.
Sometimes when there was no food in the house she'll go to her customer in market and beg for food stuffs for credit which I do pay when I gat the money and she never one day insulted me.

There was a time in my compound where we later packed in, ppl were calling her "Uniform" because she used to wear only one cloth BUT today story don dey change. na the same people dey collect the contacts of the telor that is always making her cloths.

Kobojunkiee:
1. Does OP sound to you like someone who is more mature than the woman he married?

2. Ah, I see! You were immature and married a mature woman who you claim stayed with you. But if that mature woman had abandoned your immature arse, you would have come on to blame her for leaving you, right? Una assessment dey make person wonder which way Nigerians abeg!

Bia Kobo abeg I no get your time

Yes I messed up, but the Bible says he that finds a a wife, find a good thing and obtain favour of the Lord

I believe that my wife is because of the favour (Grace) I obtained of the Lord

Also I learnt that honestly every human being can still allow good to come out of them if they turn towards right thing.

I also learnt that there is no marriage that cannot turn around for good except the ones where there is a threat of violence.
No marriage is beyond redemption

Klass99:
No offence to you OP but every time I see - I had to create a new account for this post, I suspect a redpiller who has been vile on these streets, bashing and insulting other users, is usually behind the new account created. The fear of getting a dose of their own medicine won't allow them post with their main account.

My condolences for what you are going through. This too shall pass! I think you should focus more on recovery right now and reconciliation later on, when you are back on your feet. If they come home now, do you have the means to feed both of them? Perhaps in her aunty's house feeding is not a problem so think about that.

what does redpill have to do with this thread?
Foolish attention seeking wh0re

clockwisereport:


wetin bring Nsuuka and Mbaise into your post if you had no ulterior motive? how many Nsukka/Mbaise marriages have you witnessed to arrive at your stupidconclusion? have you not seen failed marriages between people from your town/community?

Oga all this slur is unnecessary

Bad marriage can happen from any place

djon78:



Oga all this slur is unnecessary

Bad marriage can happen from any place

He started it. OP never made mention of Nsukka and Mbaise but the guy had to bring it into the discussion

Nice2023:
U were earning 75k and u went and married and u think she wouldn't run like Ben Johnson.

U should have saved money and invest it to provide u with a passive income but na marriage u follow.

I don't think u love yourself,if u really do,u would not marry a woman whose income u do not know.

Advice:
Start earning income and see ur wife come with full force.

Pls,in ur next life,do not marry semi liability as a wife and for women out there,do not settle for a man who can't take care of u.

U can abuse me i don't care but let us join hands in reducing poverty in our land.

Marriage needs money and without it,na trouble u dey look for.

Wish u the best in all u do.

victorazy:


No amount is little, is all about Love, Commitment, Determination, Vision and Dream.

When I married my wife we had nothing, we stayed in one room selfcon. As a young architect, my work was seasonal, sometimes I go several months without any income and she was newly graduated with no work.
Sometimes when there was no food in the house she'll go to her customer in market and beg for food stuffs for credit which I do pay when I gat the money and she never one day insulted me.

There was a time in my compound where we later packed in, ppl were calling her "Uniform" because she used to wear only one cloth BUT today story don dey change. na the same people dey collect the contacts of the telor that is always making her cloths.

You were blessed with one of those Angels from heaven

This reminds me of burial I went recently. The man was testifying of his dead wife, that she married him when he had nothing and she came from a very big prominent family in Anambra State.

The mega Mansion in the man's compound you won't believe
He started that way

Although the wife died in her 70s but I saw evidence of true love

Some men are fortunate to encounter Angels as wives in marriage

clockwisereport:


He started it. OP never made mention of Nsukka and Mbaise but the guy had to bring it into the discussion

I understand

Just let it be oh

djon78:


I understand

Just let it be oh

Ok. One love

Softbby123:
Find menial jobs and be doing.


You can look for hotels or large scale restaurants and apply for work as a bartender or a waiter.


If you've a car , use it and do Uber.

This is not the right time to learn how to install solar panels and CCTV.

Now this is the time you be a man and take full responsibility of your family.

@the bolded, wrong advice. It will only relief him temporarily because of the peanut salary and render him useless later; big trap and time waster , well except he is a professional, which obviously he is not.

Anyway you can sustain yourself for the period of the training and after before you start earning from your skills (it is a good skillset if you master it and network), be diligent and do it. When you're stable, you have choices in women. Just do not for get your child.

And, in whatever you do, wise up and starting thinking with your brain not heart, how can you be 'remitting' more than 50% of your earning to your wife, that is insane. The word remit alone tells the story and your orientation, more like you're on her terms and condition. Take good care of your family but don't be a fucking simp.

U are a hero if u were parting with 40k from 75k. She left u cos of greed, u shd be worried of ur daughter and ur future. A gold digger shouldnt be any of ur worries

EriMma1:
Money go, woman go. When I was warning you guys in my post that a woman needs to be taken care of if you want your marriage to last, some empty skull said I too like men matter. Now see.

This skill is what you ought to have learnt first, then build your financial security before talking about marriage but You men like putting the cart before the horse.

Number 2, marriage is not for children. Forget the general opinion that it's better to marry a younger girl. mature ladies are still far better in terms of managing hard times and handling tough situations unlike your 23 yr old who has not been through lifes hurdles or surmounted challenges on her own. Prolly she just moved in with you from her parents house where everything is being done for her.

As long as you're still broke and can't meet her needs yet, no amount of begging will make her come back cos that was why she left in the first place.

Focus and complete your skill training. Make sure you learn it very well and start sourcing for jobs.. Also keep looking for a regular job to sustain in the meantime. Forget about her but try to send upkeep for your child

If you hammer tomorrow, look for a mature lady and marry.

All this 20 yr old ladies without tangible source of income rushing into marriage with average Nigerian guys, I pity all of you. You people think marriage is childs play. Make una dey play.

Op this is the best advice even a God won't hesitate to give you.

Right now what you need is focus on your skill to get back to earning a living.

As for your wife, just forget about her and work harder to send upkeep money for your daughter.

I know you will still rush to her when you get back on your feet, but it's not my worry if you don't learn your lesson that she didn't stay with you in the hard times.

victorazy:
■ No amount is little, is all about Love, Commitment, Determination, Vision and Dream.
■ When I married my wife we had nothing, we stayed in one room selfcon. As a young architect, my work was seasonal, sometimes I go several months without any income and she was newly graduated with no work. Sometimes when there was no food in the house she'll go to her customer in market and beg for food stuffs for credit which I do pay when I gat the money and she never one day insulted me. There was a time in my compound where we later packed in, ppl were calling her "Uniform" because she used to wear only one cloth BUT today story don dey change. na the same people dey collect the contacts of the telor that is always making her cloths.

1. Una too dey like drag fairy tale ideals into issues when it sounds convenient. Op tell you say love, commitment, etc., factored into his decision to marry? Abegi!

2. Everybody shouldn't be like you and your wife naw since everybody don't believe the things you and your wife believe in. People are different for good reason.