DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost

Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

You dont have a job, but you are pointing fingers to your elder brother for bringing woes because he doesn't have a job too. E did not go to school, he did not go to school. You that went, fix the home now.

Do not ever disrespect ur elder brother ...he is ur father now as the first son... no one enjoys suffering ... if he an opportunity, he will definitely take it

this remind of Coolio HIT song ..I C U when u get there

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

I understand u well we also grew up in Ajegunle (lawani street)....you were not wrong to talk to him and by now he should be able to scold self and rise up again as a man.
You are ambitious and hardworking which is good for you...but pray more always.
Send me your acct details, perhaps i can send something for him as well as money to get a phone for your mum..
Every thing wil be alright soon....keep faith n don't ever give up!

DownTime44

Please call him and tell him you are sorry and please if you don't mind, please Pray.

This Life ehn, when you don't have anyone to help you, he go be like say you no sabi anything.

There are things have been through that I don't tell anyone cos it's seems more like lying to them.

Bro, just keep praying and pushing, one day things will fall in line.

Well Done Bro.

As conductor for many years, he should be able to drive.
Instead of sitting idle why can't he be Uber driver or driver to private individual.

Don't feel regret talking to him but I hope you just tell him sorry to advise you if you feel hurt towards my words as a junior to him.

VeeVeeMyLuv:
Lagos govt recently acquired electric buses, he should go and try his luck there without delay. Hurry! With the many years of experience he has, he stand a chance

Are you sure the man knows how to drive?

His story sounds similar to someone I know back then in Ajegunle. Same background except he has a wife and two kids.

After more than a decade as a conductor, the slugger still can't drive. If he can drive or ride a bike, there are multiple jobs awaiting him in this time where logistics companies abound.

The guy should be grateful and thankful he has family members who care about him

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

Tell your brother to WhatsApp me if he has an android phone. Or you can WhatsApp me and let him talk to me through your phone. Or you can simply send his WhatsApp number to mine; check my signature.

Alternatively, advice him to go to any MFM Church for 3 Days Dry Fasting and Prayer for the Deliverance of his Glorious Destiny. He has a Glorious Destiny to Fulfill but Satan hates all First Borns with passionate Haterd because CREATOR of Humanity Declared that all First Borns of both Humanbeings and animals belong to HIM. So, the devil fight First Borns tooth and nail like he doesn't really do to others. If your brother can become a genuine BornAgain Christian that could be trusted with large sums of money, I will help him with a job.

DownTime44:
Seriously I'm tired myself. He was sick recently that i had to empty my little savings for his treatment. You needed to see him physical. I bought him blood tonic and provisions. Things i can't even get for myself. He literally made me forgot myself because of his condition.

Whenever i remember having a brother like that, tears flow from my eyes.

So what’s your bank account details for those wishing to send you and your brother a little something!?

well, there is noway he would have abandon that conductor work since he didnt have any other thing at hand as at then, Now that he has lost the conductor work, did he find anything? NO. Dont blame him bro. how can i contact him... i have a job for him by Gods grace

Beverlyjean:
Do not ever disrespect ur elder brother ...he is ur father now as the first son... no one enjoys suffering ... if he an opportunity, he will definitely take it

what do you mean that he should never disrespect his elder brother? Respect is earn, you don't seek for it. Apart from being irresponsible, his common sense ought to have told him that he's not getting any younger still living under his parents roof.

Nothing spiritual there. Come off it.

Olarewaju89:
Being the first born and first son in a poor family like this is a serious issue. Don't blame your brother too much pls. It is a spiritual things and he need a deliverance and serious councils.

To be honest with you, your mother has a lot to do in this matter not you.

I won't go further than this.

correctguy101:



Are you sure the man knows how to drive?

His story sounds similar to someone I know back then in Ajegunle. Same background except he has a wife and two kids.

After more than a decade as a conductor, the slugger still can't drive. If he can drive or ride a bike, there are multiple jobs awaiting him in this time where logistics companies abound.

The guy should be grateful and thankful he has family members who care about him

There are other roles aside driving such as ticketing, assistant to drivers. I stand corrected

DownTime44:
Bros, are you married?
Is your elder brother married?
Who pays the house rent where he lives now?
What part of Lagos do u and your brother live?
Are you the owner of the pure water business?
what did u study in the university?

Elder bro was myopic.

Many years of working for a driver and never sitting down to ask how he can move up the ladder from being a conductor?

The only person I pity the most is Op's mom. Like many have observed, a woman who naturally seeks a partner that's stable enough to provide and protect her offspring shouldn't be frowned on.

It's not easy.
My friend will always say, "Make money and be stable first; love can be generated anytime".

Don't be deceived, in Nigeria today, the surest route to escape poverty is through education.
You will be fine, just open your mind to learn new things, don't go about with the thought that you are a graduate, strive towards proffering solutions to problems.

As someone who came from a humble beginning just as yourself, I also had to go to farm after secondary school , it was the garri made from cassava farming (on someone land in a deep swamp), and vegetables and stockfish I sold that I used to finance my education to waec, after school I started computer graphics and used it to work in mini cyber cafe to pay university education you till now, I'm out of school and earning well even though not fully there,I've been able to pay for my siblings education from secondary school down to university level for all three of my siblings and elders.

I'd tell you the truth, if you'd listen,
Family can be a set back, and if you allow them hold you back they'd drag you and keep you stagnant for years, you have to focus to take your head out of water first then take them along, (not abandon them ,but give yourself priority first), because even if you don't support them, they'd find a way to thrive, and if you reck yourself trying to pull them when they aren't willing to move, you'd carry on emotional baggage that may never be appreciated , help them but first help yourself, only when you have succeeded that you can pull others up

You did nothing wrong to talk to him you need to seat him down again bro nothing to late for him to learn how work now if you can support him to go and learn how to drive truck or trailer at his age that what he can do without be ashamed or even learn how to drive and look for driving job You don’t need to own a car before you can join Uber or bolt you can apply and they will find car for you .
That the problem of Nigeria system you will go through hell to finish school when you graduate nothing for you you have to struggle again to get job if you are lucky enough . Just be strong man God will use you to put a smile on your mom face just keep doing good .

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.



I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

Just talk to him that you didn't mean to make him feel bad, you were only talking to him as his brother. You were just concerned.

Hope you did not insult or say hurtful words to him

VeeVeeMyLuv:
Lagos govt recently acquired electric buses, he should go and try his luck there without delay. Hurry! With the many years of experience he has, he stand a chance

Dat is nt how it works in Lagos
With my experience...Wen an idea is sold to Lagos state..Lagos gov wl inform Baba Ijebu dem to acquire dis Buses and run the busines under Lagos state.
To gt any of the buses na who u kw person wey kw who get the bus.

You didnt do any wrong but his tears are emotional.

Kindly meet him again and persuade him to learn handwork.

Maybe welder. Electrical, Alumaco fittings.

I was in a more serious position as you are but I kept pushing my elder ones.

My family, we are 9 in number, im the 7th child and only me went to school through a scholarship.

All my brothers refused to go to school or do anything, my mum, my dad both kept crying day and night.

Imagine grown up children still depending on their parents for everything.

We lost our mum in February 2016 and buried her in April 2016. In June 2016 we lost our dad.

I was the only one who took care of the burial bills, although friends and relatives supported us. My elder ones pocketed all the supports we got.

After the burial, I gathered all of them, we talked heart to heart and they all agreed to learn a handwork.

One welding, another electrician and others Alumaco.

After learning the work, I persuaded them to sell one of our father house, they did, and I supervised the sharing of the money.

They used the money to open there own shops and today all doing well with so many boys learning work in their hands.

They are all married now with children. I remained single cos of my brothers as I put all my money on them. Today I have one boy and one girl I adopted as age was no longer on my side and the possibility of getting pregnant if I marry is slim.

I will advice you, your mum and other siblings have a family meeting. Look out for someone very close to him to be part of the meeting.

Im sure you will get a solution.

May God bless your hustles

Your brother must have cried because he is at his wits end. He simply does not know what to do next.
You were not wrong in calling him out, but what he needs now is assistance from anywhere possible.
Since you all live on the outskirts of the city, have you guys considered going into fish farming, snail farming or some other agricultural ventures that does not require too much capital to take off?
You are all better off together.
Organise family meetings, outline your business plans and list the capital available to all of you.
I wish you all good success.

I cried reading your story. Father, in the name of Jesus. By the power holding heaven and Earth together release his destiny helper to locate him In Jesus Christ.

Things will get better for you and your family will sing a new song.

Do this at your at your convenience.
Pick sand from ground in your hand, ask your brother to do same.
Read Psalm 24 verse 1.
And say this prayer "Earth, Earth ... Hear the words of my mouth and release the good of the land , favour, divine relationship, businesses, Investments, employment, physical health, and material prosperity into my life in accordance with the predetermined counsel of God for my life in Christ Jesus. Amen

Return the sand back to earth... Note you must be born again.



Am waiting to hear your testimony soonest.

easzypeaszy:
Dat is nt how it works in Lagos
With my experience...Wen an idea is sold to Lagos state..Lagos gov wl inform Baba Ijebu dem to acquire dis Buses and run the busines under Lagos state.
To gt any of the buses na who u kw person wey kw who get the bus.

Okay 👍
But are there other roles apart from driver?

Nah man you be! You were born poor but I can tell you, you will die rich. Nothing can stop you! Don't beg him for any reason. You needed a chance in your family

For ur brother..Na dis kind situation we comot from..the good tin be all of us be lik u..we mk our way thrgh sch by force and 90% of us are working.
Ur Mom or you shld beg ppl to hlp him wt a bus..anythin outside dat fr now is a waste of time
Den proper orientation so dat he wl be savin n strt planing fr himsef

DollarSigns:


There’s no need to have a heart2heart talk to someone when you can’t help😞
Why bother the your brother if you can’t help him yourself, unluckily for him, age is against him, his IQ is low, he’s got zero willpower
Best thing to do is🤔
Recommend him as a security guard to somewhere even your factory OR you package him, give him orientation, take him to church, one of those choir sisters will fall in love, you help him do confirm love potion juju as backup, his story will change 🙃
Or
Quietly poison him, he dies, your mom is healthy, less burden on your shoulder
otherwise let him have peace of mind 🥺Life hard💔💔

Do you hear yourself... You are so heartless... Quietly poison human you can't make...may God have mercy on your soul

DownTime44:
Seriously I'm tired myself. He was sick recently that i had to empty my little savings for his treatment. You needed to see him physical. I bought him blood tonic and provisions. Things i can't even get for myself. He literally made me forgot myself because of his condition.

Whenever i remember having a brother like that, tears flow from my eyes.

Why not team up with your brother n blow
I.e find a hustle you two can do together and use his strength and your acumen, join forces and go on a small small steady rise.
For example, you can look for an empty space for block moulding and selling, bit by bit when you build your customers base and trust, you can have people from transferring millions into your account to help them supply or monitor or execute project.

The problem with your brother is that he needs to be handheld. He seem not to be the type to take initiatives ( check out how he did conductor for a long time and didn't graduate to being a driver or owning buses)
You can be his drug or push. Work with him and take initiatives.
Now he's your responsibility no more talks or advice

GodWrites:
Your parents are to be blamed.

They couldn't even take care of themselves, yet they went ahead to breed kids they can't take care of.

If your elder brother has been given the opportunities, sucqqh as basic education, he wouldn't find himself in this .

You no get single sense for your head. That you are living a comfortable life today is not by your own effort. It's by the grace of God. Try and be humble ,else, nature will humble you.

Kaycee54321:
Elder bro was myopic.

Many years of working for a driver and never sitting down to ask how he can move up the ladder from being a conductor?

The only person I pity the most is Op's mom. Like many have observed, a woman who naturally seeks a partner that's stable enough to provide and protect her offspring shouldn't be frowned on.

It's not easy.
My friend will always say, "Make money and be stable first; love can be generated anytime".

some guys prefer women to start suffering with them. They believed those women are virtuous women, while those using their common sense are bad women.

Look at the outcome of a virtuous woman. She ended up having kids suffering in their 30s and almost 40s.

Young girls out there should please open their eyes.