DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

Advising your brother and made him cry as a result of the advise is good for him.
You have succeeded in making him realized his failure which is good.

Your brother is strong but he is just mentality lazy, he doesn't think of growing materially.

Most of us grew up like this, but took the challenge at a certain time to do something to make us become somebody in life.

Immediately I finished my secondary school I was chased out of my father's house because my mother doesn't like me (the reason was best know to her), and finally was able to convince my dad to push me out of his house.

Immediately I left my family house I started cutting hair in a barber's shop, despite the fact that I was very good with hair cut and people were queuing for me to cut their hair, I was able to know that the pay won't take me anywhere. I left and started hustling with bike, from there I started driving taxi. After taxi I drove trucks and trailers.

With time, I went bank to school and got my first and second degree in information technology.

Today I work in one of the Federal Government Agencies in Nigeria here.

My mom later apologized after my father's death and we settled our differences and I forgave her.

What led to the settlement was that, she didn't set eyes on me for a very long time because I left my state to another state to pursue a better life.

But just before my father's death, my father sent for me and stylish apologies for not supporting me in my life but encourage me to pursue my life with vigor that he has retired and won't be able to do anything for me in life anymore. But my mom wasn't aware of the settlement between me and my dad.

So, some months before my dad's death I was sending him money for hospital bills from the state I resides. And the day before he died he called me on phone and prayed for me seriously and encourage me to face life with courage.

When I got to my state for my father's burial my mom and my siblings were expecting me to come like a barber but they saw a different person.

During the burial there was so much argument because of money but immediately it come to my notice I will just bring out money to sort out the issues. My family became dumbfounded.
So, some few days after the burial my mum summon me from the hotel I put up and gathered my siblings and they all apologized for the bad things they did to me, but I stopped them from going to details and I forgave them and we drank together.

I forgave them because, as a result of my problem I became a serious Christian and I knew that I needed to forgive to attract the remaining blessings

My friend, your brother has to push himself to become somebody. Those years he spent doing conductor is enough for him to become the driver of a bus or even learn a trade.

You are doing well. Keep on advising him

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

he should to apapa and find a job there..he can't wait for a bus forever

VeeVeeMyLuv:

Okay 👍
But are there other roles apart from driver?

Der are roles...Like my friend was employed as a supervisor or monitor to about 6 BRT buses owned by a rich Woman..he nver disclosed the woman sha..he said som1 took him to her..so she puts 6 buses under him.
Pay was about 70k but whts he get in a mnth frm buyin dis or dat is much

U did nothing wrong if you did it with pure intentions....

The only time you will be wrong is if you do it to spite him rather than try to improve things....

This country hard for everybody not just your family....

May God come through for us all that have no one to fight for us through life.... Amen

Bro

I Undstd your frustration but you should know we are all different. You just have to go back and talk to him again apologise to him and quietly make him see reasons with you. You should let him know that is trying but he has to do more for you guys to leave your current situation. The best thing to do in cases like this is to try and take him with you for any kind of hustling you are into.

My own dey my body o. Tell your brother to go and learn driving, no future in conductor.

Oga nah you go bring wealth enter that family if your elder brother is not forthcoming financial dont stress him much let him take 6 months out and learn something online.. even if its graphics design or something he would have caught up with many people who he might feel have left him behind .... He can even study free Google course and get thier certificate and from there the passion will grow ... But I want to ask this question , does he smoke weed ? If yes men .... It will be very difficult o becasue weed is like break in a car ... If you like accelerate you go no where the best case is you go dey chop tire till e burst ... It take the grace of God and determination o .

It is well with you guys....naija just tire me! Whew!

He can go and look for security job in a school or office around you guys. Atleast, it will pay him between 30 to 60k monthly, depending on the company.

Kitchen staff of a big company pays even way better and there will be food and uniform.

Estate cleaner

But all those arent careers. He really needs to learn a handwork to build a career around. That should be his eventual focus. May God help you guys. Biko give him a bear hug the next time you see him.

Olarewaju89:
Being the first born and first son in a poor family like this is a serious issue. Don't blame your brother too much pls. It is a spiritual things and he need a deliverance and serious councils.

To be honest with you, your mother has a lot to do in this matter not you.

I won't go further than this.

why is everything spiritual?

Somebody who doesn't have any form of education. He has spent a better part of his life as a conductor and I suspect he will be addicted to drug and or women. If you analyse it very well, you will see that the trajectory his life is taking is as a result of poverty, environment he grew up and the friends he keeps

H
Cycle of poverty is all I see here

Fortunately, you seem to have a calling to break the cycle

Depending on what you said and how you said it. For him to have cried, your tone wasn't friendly at all and you know it.

You must have really made him felt bad instead of encouraged.
Go back to him, with an assistant planned in mind. He needs physical assistant not just washing him with words.
Go back and support him maximumly to your own capacity. Not just talking

No you are not!
But how he takes the whole thing is left for him
You done your bit guy, I pray he sees reason(s) and change for the better
Yoruba people say abo oro la n so fun omoluabi ( a word is enough for the wise)

And for you bro, keep applying for job(s), forget about your age and focus on what you can offer your intending employer, with God on your side, you will smile soon

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

DownTime44:
Seriously I'm tired myself. He was sick recently that i had to empty my little savings for his treatment. You needed to see him physical. I bought him blood tonic and provisions. Things i can't even get for myself. He literally made me forgot myself because of his condition.

Whenever i remember having a brother like that, tears flow from my eyes.

Last statement is too bad of you. You should be happy seeing your brother.

Although I understand your side of the story but we should always see the good part of the situation all the time regardless. Your brother is going through a lot and I pray that God will fight for him. He need your love and care.

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

Your family condition is heartbreaking. Sorry about that.

But I hope you didn’t vote APC?
Because if you do, you don’t need my advice.
Anyways, first, you blame your older brother but you are a mistake yourself. Who in his right thinking with your condition goes to school not even to study medicine?
You got a bike which you would have rode yourself to hustle your way up, save and go into business or learn a skill.
Now you are out of school, waiting for a job and working for 15k salary? Where you see job in Nigeria?
No right thinking person goes to the university in Nigeria. Mr man no job for you.
Learn a trade/skill or go into trading.
Let me tell you one thing, here in America, nobody cares about certificate, unless u wan go have fun. Or you wan study medicine or engineering,
American economy is great because it’s skill based.
Nigerians know say no job for una still una go dey joggle to go university only to come out to be unemployed or underemployed.
Una suppose try copy the Igbos, go serve person after secondary school if come from poor home, most Igbo billionaires from poor homes, na that way them go. Almost all of them.
Stop blaming your brother, go into the hustling field yourself, you could be that one person who will break the poverty circle and save your brother and your entire family.
Don’t read this with sentiments as many Nigerians do, read am with logic.
Peace ✌️

sunnymighty:


I understand how you feel about it all, it's for the greater good, call him again, apologize to him and make him see reasons and not feel insulted. The lord will see your family through, times are hard.

OP, please take this advise from this Man.

Don't make your elder brother to be depressed with the manner you talked to him. Things will get better.

I know it's not easy seeing your 38yrs old elder brother staying idle.

If he's responsible, I think you all can come together and ask him what he wants to do with his life so you people can sponsor him either in Business or to travel outta the country.

I wish you and your family the very best. Thank you and God bless you.

Kai! the inequities of Life. God will change your story soon. I see you getting a good job and through you your brother shall have a face lift and your mother will not die in poverty. Just give God the centre place in your life and family. You guys should begin to have series of weekly prayer and fastings and repentance, before the end of 2023 your story will change. If you download and watch the movie "The Pursuit of Happiness" it will help you. Don't blame yourself for speaking the hard truth to your brother except if you used some harsh words then you should apologize to him.

easzypeaszy:
Der are roles...Like my friend was employed as a supervisor or monitor to about 6 BRT buses owned by a rich Woman..he nver disclosed the woman sha..he said som1 took him to her..so she puts 6 buses under him.
Pay was about 70k but whts he get in a mnth frm buyin dis or dat is much

Okay
That's nice
Thanks

[quote author=DownTime44 post=123085072]Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother? [/quote


bros good afternoon thank for bringing this topic here I can relate to your story but i can relate to your story firstly you did the right of bringing reality to your senior bro but u should understand that as a first son what he is going through is more of a spiritual thing than physical.
secondly pls advice him to locate a MFM church for deliverance
thirdly look for a little job for him make sure u let him know that you are genieuly concern about him and his welfare

bros am talking from experience as a first son and a pastor it is never easy being a first most expecially when you are coming from a family that has been struggling it immediately pass on to the family
lastly bros locate a church for proper deliverance or MFM Church and keep away from sin you will eventually break that burden
you can add me up for more personal counselling
08065884015

DownTime44:
Seriously I'm tired myself. He was sick recently that i had to empty my little savings for his treatment. You needed to see him physical. I bought him blood tonic and provisions. Things i can't even get for myself. He literally made me forgot myself because of his condition.

Whenever i remember having a brother like that, tears flow from my eyes.

You did nothing wrong, guess the tears are pent up emotions. Try talk to him daily and together think of what's next. That said, lean on God to see you through the challenges of life.

With your degree and your good spirit, have you thought of traveling to the US for a Masters/PhD? The process isn't as daunting as many make it seem. You can follow this thread https://www.nairaland.com/7194807/general-usa-student-visa-enquiries-part to get all the information you need.

Father God, in the name of your holy divine son, my Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth, and by the power of his holy divine blood, I bind and break all witchcraft, curses, spells, and all powers associated with it.  Through the holy blood of the Lamb of God, I destroy the works of every witch, warlock, wizard, sorcerer, and all other powers of darkness, in my Lord Jesus name. Through the divine holy blood of my Lord God Jesus Christ, I break and destroy my enemies evil powers and their works; including the influences of witchcraft, spells, hexes, vexes, voodo, hoodo, roots, potions, or any such things off me, my life, my family, my home, my possessions and all future generations, in my Lord Jesus name. Through the divine holy blood of my Lord God Jesus Christ, I also rebuke, bind up and destroy all the spirit-guides, helps, and shields of these workers of evil, and leave them without any strength, stripped of their evil powers and influencee, in my Lord Jesus name.
In the name of my Lord God Jesus Christ and by the power of his divine holy blood, I bind kings, princes, and evil world rulers. I strip each evil spirit, and his hierarchy of power, armor and rank, and separate each from the other. I put confusion to the ranks of the enemy, and declare their assignments ragainst me, my life, my family, and my possessions are hereby rendered null, and void in my Lord Jesus name. In the name of my Lord God Jesus Christ, and by the power of his divine holy blood, I bind and terminate the influence and power of all spirits from the netherworld, evil 
spirits between, over and around those praying and those prayed for, and all evil and familiar spirits are completely bound, and forbidden to manifest in the name of my Lord God Jesus Christ.
In the mighty name of my Lord God Jesus Christ, and by the divine power of his holy blood, I bind, break and destroy the power of all curses spoken, all rituals or sacrifices, all divination, spells, incantations, meditations, all sorcery and magic, and all kind of evil ceremony, and any medium with evil purposes. In the name of my Lord Jesus, I plead the precious divine holy blood of my Lord God Jesus Christ; over myself and my family, my home, and everything that belongs to us. Father God, in my Lord Jesus Christ name; please send your warrior holy Angels to surround and protect us. In the mighty name of my Lord God Jesus Christ, and by the power of his divine holy blood; I break down, demolish, destroy, and blow up all walls of protection around all witches, warlocks, wizards, Satanists and the like, and I break and destroy the power of all curses, hexes, vexes, spells, charms, fetishes, physic prayers, physic thought, all witchcraft, sorcery, magic, all mind control, jinxes, potions, bewitchments, death, destruction, sickness, pain, torment, physic power, physic warfare, prayer chains, and everything else being sent my way, my life, my home, my family members way, and my possessions. 
By the holy divine blood of my Lord Jesus, and by his mighty name, my Lord God Jesus Christ, I command to all evil spirits, and the works that evil beings have done on my life and my family; to be reversed now, be gone, get out of my life and my family, go to the abyss and never return, and do not send reinforcements, in my Lord Jesus name.  Father God, I pray that these lost souls that have attacked me and my family, will find the light of your son Jesus... In the name of my Lord God Jesus 
Christ of Nazareth; I now loose them from all mind control of Satan!..  Heavenly Father; I also ask that you please send your Holy Spirit to their hearts as a guide to your son Jesus.. So they may be set free from the bondages of Satan, in my Lord Jesus name.
In the name of my Lord God and Savior Jesus Christ, and by the divine power of his holy blood, I bind, terminate and destroy, all powers, influence and evil works of all principalities, powers of the air, wickedness in high places, thrones, dominions, world rulers, strong men, and all kind of evil Mighty name of my Lord God Jesus 
Christ, and by the power of his divine holy blood, I bind, break and destroy all witchcraft, witchcraft control, mind-binding spirits, spirits that block and bind the will, spirits of mind control; destruction, lust, perversion, intimidation, rebellion, rejection, schizophrenia, paranoia, anger, hatred, wrath and rage, resentment, bitterness,  unforgiveness, slander, unteachableness, deception, doubt and unbelief, passivity, pride, false humility, panic attacks, and any kind of evil spirits to reverse all their evil works that they have done on me, my life, my family, my home and my possessions in my Lord God Jesus name, and be gone out of my life, my home and my family, go to 
the abyss and never return, and do not send reinforcements, in my Lord Jesus name. I pray all of these in the mighty name of my Lord God and Savior Jesus Christ, amen.

when people see you doing nothing they will think you are a lazy person or someone who prefer to be idle. every man has his/her problems. everyone is fighting his/her demons

I feel for you and your brother. Being the first male son is not easy, you'll not be able to think about your life cos responsibility choke you, I couldn't further my education for the past 13yrs but succeeded in sending my sisters to school.

He's crying cos he's depressed and I pray God send him help soon cos if you don't have any help it'll look like you don't know what you are doing.

I'm depressed too right now, some days I feel like why was I born.

Apologise to him not because you are wrong, but please support him in anyway you can, don't abandon him.

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

I have a few things to say to you. You might be surprised that he is the way he is, because he had to sacrifice his needs for you and your siblings to have it easy. Being the first son and a father figure comes with lot of responsibility. I have so many guys like your brother Sacrificing alot. Most won't show you how they do as they will prefer to go through your mum. My advice is apologize to your brother . Ask him what is his goal and then try to see how you can support him achieve his goal.

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

Dear Friend,

I like your courage. Honestly, you are doing well for yourself.

While I commend you for all you have done, doing and are yet to do, let me quickly say you are handling your elder brother's issue wrongly.

Permit me to ask, does your older brother have a good heart, and is he diligent and calm-headed?

That's all you need. He has the experience to catapult your family to the next level, but you all are not seeing it cos you are commonizing his choice of work and experience on the job.

Take this to the bank! If your brother is diligent, he will make ten times what you make monthly or per quarter as earnings. All he needs is a bus. Not even a new one or semi-new. But a new or semi-new will give him a slight edge.

So why don't you folks find a way to get him a bus and stand as surety?

Let him be paying contributions after the daily balance. You have done something similar before, but yours was with a bike.

He knows all the bus stops and what a bus should make daily. Have that discussion with him and use your wealth of knowledge to check if my advisement is feasible.

Just find a way to help him out with a bus. You can even revert back to ask for help on the topic. People will help with their little change. I, for one, will contribute towards securing the bus on hire, if push comes to shove.

So, sit him down and have that talk with him.

The truth is that bus conductors in Lagos, and Onitsha are some of the most brilliant minds on earth. They know where each passenger joined the bus, how much was paid, where a passenger is supposed to drop, their respective balance and how many new passengers joined.

They are also sound diplomatically, as they know how to handle issues and fallout between themselves and passengers and with the respective agberos and unions.

So don't commonize your older brother's wealth of experience on the job. If he has a good heart, help him.

All he needs is your love and professional business expertise.

Bro it's not ordinary and mostly, first born especially male child's, they always carry the heaviest load in the family after the father........he is the first person that his star will be towed with before anyone else.... everybody is not that spiritually strong in the realm of the spirit,and remember it has nothing to do with age ......I will only advice you to find your root first

gigabyte13:
Depending on what you said and how you said it. For him to have cried, your tone wasn't friendly at all and you know it.

You must have really made him felt bad instead of encouraged.
Go back to him, with an assistant planned in mind. He needs physical assistant not just washing him with words.
Go back and support him maximumly to your own capacity. Not just talking

LOl

If i have a younger brother like Op eh..I will be so happy and proud of him. I don't think Op is talking baae on his elder brother present situation but how he was living his life to have arrived at this junction. A 38 years old man doing conductor for donkey years with nothing to show for it. He doesn't even have clothes nor shoe. I am not in anyway mocking him. The elder brother really fvck up big time abeg. He should thank his star God bless him with a brother like Op

Olarewaju89:
Being the first born and first son in a poor family like this is a serious issue. Don't blame your brother too much pls. It is a spiritual things and he need a deliverance and serious councils.

To be honest with you, your mother has a lot to do in this matter not you.

I won't go further than this.

LOL Smh

You should have learned a skill. Why go to school and do service without learning a job ready skill. I got 2.2 yet I am a software engineer

Olarewaju89:


You won't understand and i don't need to argue with you.

Bro I've been following your comments on this thread and I completely understand where you are coming from because as a first born myself, I've been there and I'm still to an extent but thank God I met Jesus. They won't understand. They don't know about the spell of Esau and the course of Reuben. They don't know there are battles that confront first Borns especially those born into poverty. Spiritual things are spiritually discerned by those with spiritual insights. If the mother is not a woman of the spirit, there's nothing she can do because you can't give what you don't have. That elder bro is in mental bondage and mentally stranded. He could even be battling a hidden destructive addiction too. I cried reading his post because it kind of mirrored my story and that of my family. That family needs help asap. Please Lord send help to them.

Ten06:



Advising your brother and made him cry as a result of the advise is good for him.
You have succeeded in making him realized his failure which is good.

Your brother is strong but he is just mentality lazy, he doesn't think of growing materially.

Most of us grew up like this, but took the challenge at a certain time to do something to make us become somebody in life.

Immediately I finished my secondary school I was chased out of my father's house because my mother doesn't like me (the reason was best know to her) and finally was able to convince my dad to push me out of his house.

Immediately I left my family house I started cutting hair in a barber's shop despite the fact that I was very good with hair cut and people were queuing for me to cut their hair, I was able to know that the pay won't take me anywhere. I left and started hustling with bike from there started driving taxi. After taxi I started driving trucks and trailers.

With time, I went bank to school and got my first and second degree in information technology.

Today I work in one of the Federal Government Agencies in Nigeria here.

My mom later apologized after my father's death and we settled our differences and I forgave her.

What led to the settlement was that, she didn't set eyes on me for a very long time because I left my state to another state to pursue a better life.

But just before my father's death, my father sent for me and stylish apologies for not supporting me in my life but encourage me to pursue my life with vigor that he has retired and won't be able to do anything for me in life anymore. But my mom wasn't aware of the settlement between me and my dad.

So, some months before my dad's death I was sending him money for hospital bill from the state I resides. And the day before he died he called me on phone and prayed for me seriously and encourage me to face life with courage.

When I got to my state for my father's burial my mom and my siblings were expecting me to come like a barber but they saw a different person.

During the burial there were so much argument because of money but immediately it come to my notice I will just bring out money to sort out the issues. My family became dumbfounded.
So, some few days after the burial my mum summon me from the hotel I put up and gathered my siblings and they all apologized for the bad things they did to me, but I stopped them from going to details and I forgave them and we drank together.

I forgave them because, as a result of my problem I became a serious Christian and I knew that I need to forgive to attract the remaining blessings

My brother, your brother has to push himself to become somebody. Those year he spent do conductor is enough for him to become the driver of a bus or even learn a trade.

You are doing well. Keep on advising him

Hey bud,
I can help you

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

What he needs is deliverance. There’re battles contending against him. Just address the spiritual and watch things change completely.

Ten06:



Advising your brother and made him cry as a result of the advise is good for him.
You have succeeded in making him realized his failure which is good.

Your brother is strong but he is just mentality lazy, he doesn't think of growing materially.

Most of us grew up like this, but took the challenge at a certain time to do something to make us become somebody in life.

Immediately I finished my secondary school I was chased out of my father's house because my mother doesn't like me (the reason was best know to her) and finally was able to convince my dad to push me out of his house.

Immediately I left my family house I started cutting hair in a barber's shop despite the fact that I was very good with hair cut and people were queuing for me to cut their hair, I was able to know that the pay won't take me anywhere. I left and started hustling with bike from there started driving taxi. After taxi I started driving trucks and trailers.

With time, I went bank to school and got my first and second degree in information technology.

Today I work in one of the Federal Government Agencies in Nigeria here.

My mom later apologized after my father's death and we settled our differences and I forgave her.

What led to the settlement was that, she didn't set eyes on me for a very long time because I left my state to another state to pursue a better life.

But just before my father's death, my father sent for me and stylish apologies for not supporting me in my life but encourage me to pursue my life with vigor that he has retired and won't be able to do anything for me in life anymore. But my mom wasn't aware of the settlement between me and my dad.

So, some months before my dad's death I was sending him money for hospital bill from the state I resides. And the day before he died he called me on phone and prayed for me seriously and encourage me to face life with courage.

When I got to my state for my father's burial my mom and my siblings were expecting me to come like a barber but they saw a different person.

During the burial there were so much argument because of money but immediately it come to my notice I will just bring out money to sort out the issues. My family became dumbfounded.
So, some few days after the burial my mum summon me from the hotel I put up and gathered my siblings and they all apologized for the bad things they did to me, but I stopped them from going to details and I forgave them and we drank together.

I forgave them because, as a result of my problem I became a serious Christian and I knew that I need to forgive to attract the remaining blessings

My brother, your brother has to push himself to become somebody. Those year he spent do conductor is enough for him to become the driver of a bus or even learn a trade.

You are doing well. Keep on advising him

So inspiring and encouraging. ✨