My name is Funsho. I am 35 years old. My husband and I have been married for six years and we have a son together. Two years ago, my job transferred me to Abuja. Since my husband and son are in Lagos, I come home at the end of every month.

My husband was in total support because the transfer came with a better salary and a senior position. I love and trust my husband so much, however I really don't know what he thinks of me. I was able to save up last year, and since we are still in a rented apartment

I sent him the money to get us a landed property so we can start building our home. Since, I trusted him so much, I didn't even ask him for the evidence of payment, he only sent me the pictures. I recently came home as usual and while I was arranging the house, I stumbled on the documents and deeds of agreement for the land. I got the shock of my life when I discovered that it was only my husband's name that was written.

He didn't deem it fit to include my name or simply buy it in our son’s name, he bought the land in his name with my hard earned money. I couldn't hide my disappointment, so I asked him. In his defence, he said he bought it in his name because he is the man and he didn't think I would read so much meaning to it since we are married. This has given me a lot of sleepless nights and I find it really hard to believe he could do this to me.

Please, is this something I should be worried about or am I just overreacting? Advise me.

The man should have included their son's name

Just imagine he bought it in your name alone.
Both of you would've felt more awkward.

Your son is still a kid, either way, it'll be in care of your husband.

IF you have a happy home, no start that tin wey dey your mind, if not na ground breaking for divorce you don start so.

But men without much thoughts buy things and hands off for their women.

Left to me....I would really be worried even the best of men change overnight.


I think she really needs to be worry.
The least the husband would have done was to put both their names.

Dem nor dey ever trust men.

Madam please kindly tell him to do the needful abegi.

Man of the house indeed!

Madam,I don't see any issue in this but to be honest with u,are very right to make an inquest on why he didn't include your name.

Similar thing happened to me in 2021,where i bought a land and my wife got angry because she didn't see her name on the power of attorney.

I had to apologise and bought another land with her name fully written on it.

Consequently,avoid the troubles this could bring,like I said,it is your right to demand for your name in the document but,remember that after this project,u can buy yourself a befitting land and life goes on peacefully.

Cheers...u are a good wife.

I must first if all appreciate you. You're such a good woman and women like you are going fast into extinction... We have just few of you left. My wife and you are among the few.

It is honorable for your husband to buy the land, not in your son's name (because it's the first land) but in your name or both names (Mr and Mrs).

His explanation is lame... I don't want to say that he is not very wise and doesn't think ahead. If he dies before you, you'll have a lot to contend with (depending on the type of his family)

You have worked for the money and have honored him as your husband. What he did is as good as saying that he defrauded you.

Please you have all reasons to be worried... Do you have a pastor?

Is the plan to jointly contribute to building? This makes it more complex. Whoever brings the money should have the property in his or her name. If it will be jointly built, use both names but advisable that each should keep all receipts of expenditures in building the house. I've seen a lot.

Fineman2:
My name is Funsho. I am 35 years old. My husband and I have been married for six years and we have a son together. Two years ago, my job transferred me to Abuja. Since my husband and son are in Lagos, I come home at the end of every month.

My husband was in total support because the transfer came with a better salary and a senior position. I love and trust my husband so much, however I really don't know what he thinks of me. I was able to save up last year, and since we are still in a rented apartment

I sent him the money to get us a landed property so we can start building our home. Since, I trusted him so much, I didn't even ask him for the evidence of payment, he only sent me the pictures. I recently came home as usual and while I was arranging the house, I stumbled on the documents and deeds of agreement for the land. I got the shock of my life when I discovered that it was only my husband's name that was written.

He didn't deem it fit to include my name or simply buy it in our son’s name, he bought the land in his name with my hard earned money. I couldn't hide my disappointment, so I asked him. In his defence, he said he bought it in his name because he is the man and he didn't think I would read so much meaning to it since we are married. This has given me a lot of sleepless nights and I find it really hard to believe he could do this to me.

Please, is this something I should be worried about or am I just overreacting? Advise me.

He has just shown you that he is a 'Nigerian' husband hence not trustworthy.

I sincerely doubt the receipt can be changed to reflect both names. Leave the land for him and see it as payment for 'omo go'.

Take this as lesson 101 and NEVER make the mistake to join your finances, carry him along in your projects, or involve him financially.

He has proven to be a great enemy of YOUR progress.

Don't also listen to anyone telling you it is not 'serious'; over serious dey worry am.

Pele, you self don join 'Nigerian' marriage be that.

It can quite be tricky .His excuses ain't genuine either,would have expected him to use Sons name or even the original owner of the money .But I wanna ask a question,! WHAT IF HE IS GENUINE,I MEAN HIS INTENTIONS ARE PURE ?is it really wrong for a husband to write a receipt of landed props in his own name simply because the producer of the Said money is the wife ??LET MATURE MINDS GIVE ME A SOUND ANSWER !! were is the place of true love ,maturity ,honesty and faithfulness. Marriage requires ??I FOR ONE WIULD ASK MY SPOUSE TO PUT HER NAME ON EVERY DOCS of the family , I have no single gear over that, what about you ??

Fineman2:
■ My husband was in total support because the transfer came with a better salary and a senior position. I love and trust my husband so much, however I really don't know what he thinks of me. I was able to save up last year, and since we are still in a rented apartment. I sent him the money to get us a landed property so we can start building our home. Since, I trusted him so much, I didn't even ask him for the evidence of payment, he only sent me the pictures. I recently came home as usual and while I was arranging the house, I stumbled on the documents and deeds of agreement for the land. I got the shock of my life when I discovered that it was only my husband's name that was written. He didn't deem it fit to include my name or simply buy it in our son’s name, he bought the land in his name with my hard earned money. I couldn't hide my disappointment, so I asked him. In his defence, he said he bought it in his name because he is the man and he didn't think I would read so much meaning to it since we are married. This has given me a lot of sleepless nights and I find it really hard to believe he could do this to me. Please, is this something I should be worried about or am I just overreacting? Advise me.

How the frell are we to know what comes next? You are the one who put your trust in him and know the reason why you do, so what can strangers say here? He showed you by way of his action how much your trust is worth to him so you decide if the dividend is worth the trust you put in him.

Well, I'm short of word. There's an adage that say " if an idol can not safe me, leave me the way you met me". I can't imagine him putting his own name without asking the God gifted wife for proper documentations.

If my female child does this without letting me know of how the development is... then she's not my Biological daughter 😒 the man from the point he receives the money has a motive.

The best thing if you cherish your home n love the 😈. Get yourself another land n consider the first one as a gift to his entitled nature.

A bit unbelievable, but if it is true, why will you send money to your husband to buy a land, and not ask him to include your name on the paperwork? He has used his discretion, deal with it.

You said you love him and also trusted him. WHY WORRY?

Klass99:


Seriously? Did she have to ask or tell him that?

1. The man did not work/labour for the money.
2. The money is not originally his, you can argue that the two have become one by virtue of marriage, but still let's be fair, who did the heavy lifting?
3. She was honest and transparent in handing the money over. I sent him the money to get us a landed property so we can start building our home.

Then he goes and behaves without integrity! He didn't work for the money, he still wants to claim the glory and benefits alone by putting only his name on the documents.

If he had common sense or integrity he would do right by her without being asked or told. Please can we stop justifying rubbish when a wife is at the receiving end of some serious BS? Will any husband tolerate this? What happened to doing unto others what we want done to us?

If she sent money to a friend or sibling, it's a different thing. She sent it to her husband and he used his discretion since he thought that his property is hers also. She should've told him to include her name in the first place, and from her write up, she had no issues if the man had included their son's name instead of hers. She needs to rectify the issue with him and handle things differently moving forward, I don't know what you're fuming about

and yes you have to tell some men, not all men are created equal. You get to know who you married with time and issues like this and learn to handle issues with them accordingly

Klass99:


You know this thread will be on fire with your gender throwing vile insults left and right at my gender, if the wife had done this or even bought the land secretly.

Now you have started mentioning "gender" sighs! Treat issues as they come and stop this gynocentric viewpoint

Klass99:


I am not and I wasn't fuming. Just shocked and awed at your thought processes in the first post. Since you want to turn the debate into I am fuming and being emotional, have a good evening.

Don't forget the part where you wrote

Please can we stop justifying rubbish

I don't think I was, I'll tell same to a man who sent money to his wife and didn't care to know how the signing process will be since he wasn't at home to physically sign the document

Fineman2:
My name is Funsho. I am 35 years old. My husband and I have been married for six years and we have a son together. Two years ago, my job transferred me to Abuja. Since my husband and son are in Lagos, I come home at the end of every month.

My husband was in total support because the transfer came with a better salary and a senior position. I love and trust my husband so much, however I really don't know what he thinks of me. I was able to save up last year, and since we are still in a rented apartment

I sent him the money to get us a landed property so we can start building our home. Since, I trusted him so much, I didn't even ask him for the evidence of payment, he only sent me the pictures. I recently came home as usual and while I was arranging the house, I stumbled on the documents and deeds of agreement for the land. I got the shock of my life when I discovered that it was only my husband's name that was written.

He didn't deem it fit to include my name or simply buy it in our son’s name, he bought the land in his name with my hard earned money. I couldn't hide my disappointment, so I asked him. In his defence, he said he bought it in his name because he is the man and he didn't think I would read so much meaning to it since we are married. This has given me a lot of sleepless nights and I find it really hard to believe he could do this to me.

Please, is this something I should be worried about or am I just overreacting? Advise me.

What's important is that he used the money for the exact purpose it was provided.
The document can still be reproduced with only your name if you so wish. But note that it won't stop a fraudster from selling the land without your consent.
Under our customary law, if your Son is your husband's 1st then your Son inherits the said land . But what you really need is to run to God and ask Him for another pregnancy and it must be a Boy

When chips are down, your husband won't be the problem but rather your in-laws irrespective of whose name is on that document .

Fineman2:
My name is Funsho. I am 35 years old. My husband and I have been married for six years and we have a son together. Two years ago, my job transferred me to Abuja. Since my husband and son are in Lagos, I come home at the end of every month.

My husband was in total support because the transfer came with a better salary and a senior position. I love and trust my husband so much, however I really don't know what he thinks of me. I was able to save up last year, and since we are still in a rented apartment

I sent him the money to get us a landed property so we can start building our home. Since, I trusted him so much, I didn't even ask him for the evidence of payment, he only sent me the pictures. I recently came home as usual and while I was arranging the house, I stumbled on the documents and deeds of agreement for the land. I got the shock of my life when I discovered that it was only my husband's name that was written.

He didn't deem it fit to include my name or simply buy it in our son’s name, he bought the land in his name with my hard earned money. I couldn't hide my disappointment, so I asked him. In his defence, he said he bought it in his name because he is the man and he didn't think I would read so much meaning to it since we are married. This has given me a lot of sleepless nights and I find it really hard to believe he could do this to me.

Please, is this something I should be worried about or am I just overreacting? Advise me.

Some women sha.....🥴

Fineman2:
The man should have included their son's name

Very sound advise since the son was the one that paid for it

You have plenty stupiiid friends from the stories you post. You need to change your circle of friends or are the stories lifted from somewhere? This babe is especially so.

Countersam:


Some women sha.....🥴

Didn't know that the OP's husband was a woman.

Prosperity4All:
■ What's important is that he used the money for the exact purpose it was provided.
The document can still be reproduced with only your name if you so wish. But note that it won't stop a fraudster from selling the land without your consent. Under our customary law, if your Son is your husband's 1st then your Son inherits the said land . But what you really need is to run to God and ask Him for another pregnancy and it must be a Boy When chips are down, your husband won't be the problem but rather your in-laws irrespective of whose name is on that document .

What would be the advantage of her birthing another boy?

You need to have a rethink and start buying or doing things in your name/son's name.

What he did is very bad,

Forget about the property. Don't contribute anything else to building it. Let him sort the remaining himself. Don't even drag anything with him at all, this is not gragra matter it's painful oo but move on.

Then save up for another in your name only, if possible gan your maiden name.

He has shown you what he's made of.

Many have gone, be wise.

Shikena.

Ask for him to include it in your son's name.

This is a very sensitive topic that requires more information. ..

All I would say is that, if you have a strong premonition or feeling that something is wrong with his decision, then something may actually be wrong. You know your husband and your marriage more than anyone outside looking in.
So, you should tell him to include your name. Your son is a minor and it can be tricky (in Nigeria).
But, be prepared to pay a price with some loss of trust and feelings in your marriage.
Your husband may be a saint of a man, and had absolutely no vice in mind when he did what he did. He might have been seeing your marriage in a far higher level (of love, fidelity, trust, bliss, etc) than you.
And once you press this issue, you may shatter those beliefs in him.
This thing called marriage is deeper than people tend to know.

Deep in her heart, she knows she has been betrayed, she knows her husband has scammed her. When people refuse to apply wisdom in their dealings, then they should not be surprised when life teaches them a bitter lesson.

When I read stories like this, I realize I'm a very good man.