Klass99:


Thank you very much for confirming a fact of life, abeg chop knuckle 🤜. It works like magic if or when a person genuinely likes you.

It has nothing to do with revenge or unforgiveness, it is simply human nature and treating people with the same courtesy they repeatedly extend to you.

RenegadeX:


Op ignore this simpish advice okay. Don’t have any heart to heart talk with any mofo . See I have dealt with women and I know them like the back of my palm. I repeat don’t have any heart to heart talk. Start giving her woto woto. An eye for eye. Sometimes this bitches do not respect you when you act Christlike or behave as a Godly man. They want to see crazy and you should enjoy showing crazy.

You need to harden your heart to a point were if a bitch threatens to leave you. You open the door and kick her ass out for making that threat. Kick her so had that she falls and scrapes her knee on the floor.

That money you are giving her stop giving her shishi. Don’t help her do anything. When you come home buy fast food and eat in her presence. Do your laundry yourself and make sure you go out and hangout with friends and post pictures of yourself having fun and arrange one of your guys girl to hold you in a romantic way.

When you come back don’t respond to her questions or naggings. Don’t make any advance sexually behave like she does not exist.

Either of two ;Dthings will happen. Either she will come to her senses or she too will not mind you. If she doesn’t mind you then I’m afraid someone is giving her back to back the way she wants it. She wants to tow her mothers lifestyle.

I repeat drop that gentleman that you are forming they don’t respect it. This bitches are like children once you don’t call their bluff they triple down on their bad behavior.

If she tries to abuse you verbally give am better slap for her left eye

You will be surprised how that once a week will change to thrice a week

I am just like you Mr op a very good man that don’t like cheating but if you take my calmness for weakness and want to be disrespectful. You go collect woto woto. Ready to go your papa house or that useless dick that she wants to cheat on me with. Let her go and have it fully. I no send your papa

RenegadeX:


Op ignore this simpish advice okay. Don’t have any heart to heart talk with any mofo . See I have dealt with women and I know them like the back of my palm. I repeat don’t have any heart to heart talk. Start giving her woto woto. An eye for eye. Sometimes this bitches do not respect you when you act Christlike or behave as a Godly man. They want to see crazy and you should enjoy showing crazy.

Either of two ;Dthings will happen. Either she will come to her senses or she too will not mind you. If she doesn’t mind you then I’m afraid someone is giving her back to back the way she wants it. She wants to tow her mothers lifestyle.

I repeat drop that gentleman that you are forming they don’t respect it. This bitches are like children once you don’t call their bluff they triple down on their bad behavior.

If she tries to abuse you verbally give am better slap for her left eye

You will be surprised how that once a week will change to thrice a week

I am just like you Mr op a very good man that don’t like cheating but if you take my calmness for weakness and want to be disrespectful. You go collect woto woto. Ready to go your papa house or that useless dick that she wants to cheat on me with. Let her go and have it fully. I no send your papa

Metronomy:
■ If you're actually married and sincere with your spouse, I'm not expecting this from you.

As for this OP, well, I think your mental health matters a lot. Many ladies just want to get married but doesn't know what it entails to sustain an healthy marriage

deltateam:
■ Are you really a junkie because you really sound like one. A wife who is selfish is who you defend. Marriage is overrated. Op you even encouraged it in the beginning. Which one is sex once a week? Should it be a routine or something you do when you want.

jaxxy:
I don't understand how people can use their own money to fund their own unhappiness and abuse.

u paid dowry on a girl u clearly knew doesn't love u and u spent ur hard earned money to marry her and fake a happy marriage? I don't understand how some guys think honestly speaking.

op what ure facing in ur marriage is what guys faced in their relationships while learning the ropes of how to deal with women. Women are very manipulative and they are aware of it and also know when they are dealing with a naive guy. She is emotionally abusing u and u do not know how to respond.

if I tell u how to respond u will not have the guts to do it and change this power game in ur marriage. Right now ur wife controls the marriage not u. She does what she wants and u simp to it like a chicken.

She can even cheat on u and u wudnt know it and even u know u won't be able to do anything about it.

U need to act like a man and be a man. U don't beg for intimacy u make ur partner want it by knowing her love language and how to seduce her bt u have no idea and u dated her?

u see panties and bra thing all over the house u think its normal abi? its a power game and u failing at it badly. she knows u want sex bt she won't give it to u not with ur simp attitude. She gives u out of pity when she wants and using it to control u like a dog on a leash.

Then u travel and she has the guts to ask u for money and u give it to her just like that? She still doesn't call u or pick ur calls or return ur calls? Dude wake up!!!! Have a serious talk with her. Don't let it drag or fester. Tell her off when she's wrong and even when she's not wrong. she deserves it. Stop being too correct and proper.

U are a hardworking man bt u are emotionally weak.

yemmit90:
@CuriousMind2022, from your story, I could deduced your wife still love and want the marriage, the fact is that she is probabaly not happy with the kind of work that usually take you out of home but don't know how to tell you.

A woman with baby need you to be around her, you can imagine the loneliness and emotional trauma this woman would be passing through in your absent. Some women don't know how to communicate through words but action. You can use carrots and stick approach to correct this issue. Tell her you love her but don't like the way she treat you, let her know that if she refuse to change, you will completely stop coming home and find a lady cook to cook for you where you work. I am very sure she would open up and adjust.

modelsms:
■ Is that the only thing you understood?

albert2512:
■ You read the story so? Read am again slowly in between the line.

kkins25:
I don't usually pity men in these conditions. After what a pastor did to my friend not too long ago in the university, I usually say Ntoor for this kind case. Because, some of you know deep down that the babe isn't into you, but pressure saaaaaaaaaaaaa..... Promises upon promises, hope you didn't promise to take her abroad for studies too? .

I'd follow Klass99 advice if I were in your shoes, sha. I'm not married, but if somebody really likes you, giving them a taste of their own medicine works. One gurl like that haf used it on me (thunder fire her where ever she is), and I too have used it on others. Most of the time it works. ..

UyaiIncomparabl:


You are very uncouth. Can you not pass your messages without sounding tactless and ghetto?

CuriousMind2022:


You're wrong sir. My wife was very much into me before our wedding. She literally made me marry her, because at some point I began to develop cold feet. She did everything to please me, showed me love and care, and pretended to be a good girl. I would not force, cajole or entice a woman into marrying me. This is why I am asking myself if I should continue in this marriage if truly she doesn't care about me anymore. I strongly believe marriage should be between two people who are genuinely interested in being together and if it is obvious she is tired of us being together, I would be the first to excuse myself from the marriage. I just don't want to make a hasty decision, so I will still wait and be sure I am not overthinking things.

frank317:
U didnt hurt her, just like that ur wife refuse to have sex with u and didn't bother to call or pick ur call.

I see just painted urself a saint and paint her the devil. Oga watin u d that woman, lets start from there

CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.

My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.

I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.

We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).

I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.

I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!

I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.

I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.

Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.

She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.

I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.

This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.

I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.

DBestDoc:
Your wife told you she was upset, did you try to ask her why?

Was there any heart to heart convo to know the reason she’s been in such an unusual mood? Some issues can be solved with proper communication and hearty resolutions but if you think the first option to explore is contemplating divorce, then go ahead Mr.

I for one would also not have sex when I’m upset with my husband like an object meant for just sexual gratification.

I wish you both well.

akaahs:
■ Then u re too gentle and she's not sure of the man she's married too. Im married too, she want to see the lion in u.Believe me u, some women hate seeing their man behaving too gentle. See that sex, don't bother any time she refused u. Just locked up

irepnaija4eva:




Until Men come to full realization that they are the prize, childish attitude and disrespect will always surfice in that marriage..

Imagine spending millions in your wedding just to bring in trouble and disrespect in your home?
To me, i think the OP is too soft for manipulation.
Kai..

RenegadeX:


Another bad advice

Help her with chores to appease her lol

The way these ladies give advice that will further sink you into quicksand is hilarious

CuriousMind2022:


You're wrong sir. My wife was very much into me before our wedding. She literally made me marry her, because at some point I began to develop cold feet. She did everything to please me, showed me love and care, and pretended to be a good girl. I would not force, cajole or entice a woman into marrying me. This is why I am asking myself if I should continue in this marriage if truly she doesn't care about me anymore. I strongly believe marriage should be between two people who are genuinely interested in being together and if it is obvious she is tired of us being together, I would be the first to excuse myself from the marriage. I just don't want to make a hasty decision, so I will still wait and be sure I am not overthinking things.

Biglittlelois:



You know, I really need to start checking out people's profile before commenting on their threads, they will come here to form saint with no blemish, paint their wives or females generally as evil, I was already feeling pity for Op if not for your comment I saw that made me check his other thread,

Op is an upcoming pervert with pedo tendencies, I give the wife huge kudos for continuously living under the same roof with him.

Kobojunkie:
All I read is you equate love with sex and your wife denying you sex means she has no love for you. And you somehow think the blame should all be on her as far as all the problems you perceive in your marriage, no be so? **yawn***