₦airaland Forum

1Sharon:
As a child stay out of your parents relationship

Your dad may be poisoning your mind against your mum.

What did your father do? Something must have brought it on.

Girls will always be biased as usual.

Never knew a girl could sound logical.

I hope u would think the same way when the table turns sha

frozen70:
I will advise you discuss this with your dad first of all to find out why he gave her so much power to bully him

Am sure your dad knows what to say to you

However, if you don't like his response then you tell him that you want to confront your mum

As you are confronting your mum, be very calm and ask her why she is hostile on dad

Listen to her reply, if it makes no sense, then tell her politely to stop that attitude on your dad that you feel ashame of everything

With time be observing her and see if she is adjusting to your advice and warning

But if she responds harshly then be prepared to be her enemy

Excellent

Then he should leave the marriage and you should cater for him. Nigerians like being suffer heads.

1Sharon:
As a child stay out of your parents relationship

Your dad may be poisoning your mind against your mum.

What did your father do? Something must have brought it on.

If it is the dad that physically abuses their mother, would you have advised him to stay out of his parent's relationship? Your gender is just selfish, wicked and unreasonable: not your fault anyway, na follow come.

frozen70:
I will advise you discuss this with your dad first of all to find out why he gave her so much power to bully him

Am sure your dad knows what to say to you

However, if you don't like his response then you tell him that you want to confront your mum

As you are confronting your mum, be very calm and ask her why she is hostile on dad

Listen to her reply, if it makes no sense, then tell her politely to stop that attitude on your dad that you feel ashame of everything

With time be observing her and see if she is adjusting to your advice and warning

But if she responds harshly then be prepared to be her enemy

Typically, she will leave the issue unaddressed and start accusing her husband of turning her children against her.

aidameoryou:
Your suggestions are genuinely needed 🙏

Hi my people good day, I have been having a thorough thought all in my mind and have been boiling inside of me on what next step to take.

Over the years, I have seen my mum really been hostile to my dad and it's getting out of hand for me to bear.
I am the first son of some siblings and in my mid 20s.
I live apart from my parents in another state and one of my junior sibling who went home for a little break from school was complaining bitterly about how my mum attitude towards my dad is getting out of hand.

My father has to be the most responsible, respectable, reasonable man I ever know, he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't womanizer. He has been the sole breadwinner in the family from when we were small up till this time.
His work isn't moving very well as it used to back then and as such he cannot cater very well like he's used to and even though at that, he's been trying his best....
My mum just doesn't appreciate him enough and I've seen this a million times.

[color=#000000]My next line of action is to call my mum and give her a serious scolding because she hasn't been warned sternly about this by any of my siblings before.
This is getting out of hand and I cannot bear it anymore, please what do you all suggest I could do in this situation[/color]

HBP will kill the man very soon if you don’t act.
That what men get when they are not able to provide for the family God forbid.

Aonkuuse:
Bro you really need to intervene oo before she will kill him for you people. Men are not speaking out in marriages. But also don't rush in confronting your mother ooo, just talk to her because maybe your father did something that is making her behave like that.

whatever it is he may have done shouldn't result to such an everlasting disobeyance

DenreleDave:


Why would a woman be bullying her husband?

Is she taking advantage of his gentleness?

But I will advise you not act rashly....

Yes women shit test men
Am alpha must always take his stand strongly

djseanjohn77:
As men, this is one reason we need to pray for a sustained ability, no insult, she is just exhibiting a trait synonymous to every female folk out there. They can't handle change, as such their emotions get the better of them. Once what you usually offer declines, it is jus a matter of time, that'swhy they are always the first to leave in a relationship. I am in my mid 40s, so I suppose I have a good experience of life. She is your mum, talk to her while she can still listen, otherwise, assist your dad (unknown to her) if you can, if she gets to know, she will accuse your dad more of turning you against her. The danger is, once her mind is made up, she is only waiting for a comfort landing place, once that happens, a woman can leave a man at any Bleep-ing time, it doesn't matter what you have sacrificed, or how good you were, their emotions is run my what they feel at the moment, and what they need at the moment.

There are exceptional women who stay with their husbands through thick and thin, usually for the sake of their children.

As for me oo guy, better call your mum to order, she is pushing your dad to stroke and BP gradually, she has start seeing another man, I bet you... I have experienced dis when my dad got retired from his federal job, we were at warri, my dad retired, we just barely finished secondary school, my mom was hussling, my dad could not provide as when he was workin comapred tohis meagre pension. My mum will tell him to wash her clothes just because she is proving food. I was really bitter ... was helpless

aidameoryou:
Your suggestions are genuinely needed 🙏

Hi my people good day, I have been having a thorough thought all in my mind and have been boiling inside of me on what next step to take.

Over the years, I have seen my mum really been hostile to my dad and it's getting out of hand for me to bear.
I am the first son of some siblings and in my mid 20s.
I live apart from my parents in another state and one of my junior sibling who went home for a little break from school was complaining bitterly about how my mum attitude towards my dad is getting out of hand.

My father has to be the most responsible, respectable, reasonable man I ever know, he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't womanizer. He has been the sole breadwinner in the family from when we were small up till this time.
His work isn't moving very well as it used to back then and as such he cannot cater very well like he's used to and even though at that, he's been trying his best....
My mum just doesn't appreciate him enough and I've seen this a million times.

[color=#000000]My next line of action is to call my mum and give her a serious scolding because she hasn't been warned sternly about this by any of my siblings before.
This is getting out of hand and I cannot bear it anymore, please what do you all suggest I could do in this situation[/color]

@op are u a man or a toddler?


U see something cretically wrong and you are seeking for advice .

Maybe you are waiting till she gives your dad hrt attack.


It's a pity how men suffer all the years for their children but don't get more benefits or appreciation from same children, instead children show it to the mother .

All bc maybe the father is always in the feild lookn for what family will survive with.

















.

aidameoryou:
Your suggestions are genuinely needed 🙏

Hi my people good day, I have been having a thorough thought all in my mind and have been boiling inside of me on what next step to take.

Over the years, I have seen my mum really been hostile to my dad and it's getting out of hand for me to bear.
I am the first son of some siblings and in my mid 20s.
I live apart from my parents in another state and one of my junior sibling who went home for a little break from school was complaining bitterly about how my mum attitude towards my dad is getting out of hand.

My father has to be the most responsible, respectable, reasonable man I ever know, he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't womanizer. He has been the sole breadwinner in the family from when we were small up till this time.
His work isn't moving very well as it used to back then and as such he cannot cater very well like he's used to and even though at that, he's been trying his best....
My mum just doesn't appreciate him enough and I've seen this a million times.

[color=#000000]My next line of action is to call my mum and give her a serious scolding because she hasn't been warned sternly about this by any of my siblings before.
This is getting out of hand and I cannot bear it anymore, please what do you all suggest I could do in this situation[/color]

/
It happens. She is comparing her current boyfriend with your dad. That's the main problem. An unfaithful woman picks quarrel easily with her financially unstable husband. Na see finish.

/

Aonkuuse:
Bro you really need to intervene oo before she will kill him for you people. Men are not speaking out in marriages. But also don't rush in confronting your mother ooo, just talk to her because maybe your father did something that is making her behave like that.

The father did nothing, stop saying shit.



Talking as if you dont know women.

jessylaurel:
You didn't say in what way your mum bullys your dad.

Words, attitudes

Experienced a similar thing too. E no dey clear for the woman eye until she kills the man. Na she go con still dey eulogize the husband wey she use wahala and trouble kill.

Some wives are just designed to be the end of their husbands and they do it in a subtle devilish way.

Coz who knows the depression the man is going through which, being a man, he wouldn't want to be seen as weak telling his children or outsiders whereas he is already dying inside

Many women are like that in Nigeria, especially when the man is not a womaniser, not a socialite and not financially stabled.

They always take advantage of good men, she may not even allowed your father to have sex with her for months, and the man will just be dieing silently.

The only solution is a hard one, but if you can do it, the man will live long and be happy till death.

If you can afford it, get him another apartment very far from your mother and marry another wife
for him.
(maybe a widow with a very good character and matured children).

If you don't have strong heart to do it, just PRANK IT and you will see how weak your mother will turn.

donbachi:
Wetin make some men live long..na the things wey dem see throwaway their face .
If your dad hasn't complained to you or siblings on same issue.comot body.cos anyday it starts to affect him,he will bring it to your know.but,for now.let it slide till she raises her hand on him.

I’m sorry, but this is a very stupid contribution. Byebye

Magicdon:
As for me oo guy, better call your mum to order, she is pushing your dad to stroke and BP gradually, she has start seeing another man, I bet you... I have experienced dis when my dad got retired from his federal job, we were at warri, my dad retired, we just barely finished secondary school, my mom was hussling, my dad could not provide as when he was workin comapred tohis meagre pension. My mum will tell him to wash her clothes just because she is proving food. I was really bitter ... was helpless

Men should please learn and prepare financially for your old age.

Don't send your children to private universities at the expense of your savings and investments (buy lands and build houses) .

Private or public university, brilliant and dedicated will graduate.

You need to sit with them urgently at the same time. Don't talk to your mum separately and dont talk to your dad separately, as there would definitely be biase and wrong judgement from you, if you do so.

Ask them both what the issue is, then ask mum why she is always upset at dad. Emphasize to her RESPECTFULLY that the way she talks to him bothers you so much you can concentrate and think about anything else except --- their fighting all the time.

You have to be CAUTIOUS with your words and be highly respectful to both mum and dad.

aidameoryou:
Your suggestions are genuinely needed 🙏

Hi my people good day, I have been having a thorough thought all in my mind and have been boiling inside of me on what next step to take.

Over the years, I have seen my mum really been hostile to my dad and it's getting out of hand for me to bear.
I am the first son of some siblings and in my mid 20s.
I live apart from my parents in another state and one of my junior sibling who went home for a little break from school was complaining bitterly about how my mum attitude towards my dad is getting out of hand.

My father has to be the most responsible, respectable, reasonable man I ever know, he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't womanizer. He has been the sole breadwinner in the family from when we were small up till this time.
His work isn't moving very well as it used to back then and as such he cannot cater very well like he's used to and even though at that, he's been trying his best....
My mum just doesn't appreciate him enough and I've seen this a million times.

[color=#000000]My next line of action is to call my mum and give her a serious scolding because she hasn't been warned sternly about this by any of my siblings before.
This is getting out of hand and I cannot bear it anymore, please what do you all suggest I could do in this situation[/color]

A lot of men are going through this oo. Since the time we were young, my mum used to bully daddy up till now that he is 76. I pity my dad alot. Both of them are retirees now. My younger ones sometimes said that if dad did not marry mum, they aren't sure if any men will marry him.

When ladies want to encapsulate you, they will ensure you are committed to things of God so that you will not be able to voice out. If you talk, people will say you are a child of God nau.

A lot of men ignores red flag during courtship and when their wife gives birth (after two children). They showed their madness. My dad has never lay hands on mum; and he is a good man and breadwinner

Gwan2:
I don't think it is a matter of taking advantage of gentlemen.....Men naturally water down their firmness, 'machoness', ruggedness with age in a marital setting. This could be due to being battered left, right and centre by socioeconomic issues, 95% financial responsibility in family upbringing and life generally. Wives on the other hand get more grip of the home as time goes, connecting more with the children and influencing the husbands decision through the leverage of the children.

Now, for some unreasonable women who unfortunately are the majority, they use this transition of power to their advantage and wreck havoc on the man, especially if he is not financially buoyant or has lost his financial sources. Some of the women that endured the man's womanising years use the transition of power to revenge.

super brilliant by you

sylve11:
Hmmm

correct, I personally know two from anambra

donbachi:
Wetin make some men live long..na the things wey dem see throwaway their face .
If your dad hasn't complained to you or siblings on same issue.comot body.cos anyday it starts to affect him,he will bring it to your know.but,for now.let it slide till she raises her hand on him.

Ignore this stüpid advice. Give her a stern warning and if she continues, then you and your siblings should step in and stop it in whatever way you seem possible. I warn you, if that man dies due to abuse, you guys will not forgive yourselves.

1Sharon:
As a child stay out of your parents relationship

Your dad may be poisoning your mind against your mum.

What did your father do? Something must have brought it on.

See this one! He said his sibling travelled home and witnessed it but according to you, it is the man that is poisoning their minds.

duro4chang:
You are rude to me

See cruise

RALPHOW:
Men should please learn and prepare financially for your old age.

Don't send your children to private universities at the expense of your savings and investments (buy lands and build houses) .

Private or public university, brilliant and dedicated will graduate.

nice and very thoughtful contribution, exactly what I was thinking

BeardedmeatR:
See cruise

MEANING?

Bros wich kind federal job ur dad retire from?

Cos the federal job i know, their pension is very good

Magicdon:
As for me oo guy, better call your mum to order, she is pushing your dad to stroke and BP gradually, she has start seeing another man, I bet you... I have experienced dis when my dad got retired from his federal job, we were at warri, my dad retired, we just barely finished secondary school, my mom was hussling, my dad could not provide as when he was workin comapred tohis meagre pension. My mum will tell him to wash her clothes just because she is proving food. I was really bitter ... was helpless

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aidameoryou:
Your suggestions are genuinely needed 🙏

Hi my people good day, I have been having a thorough thought all in my mind and have been boiling inside of me on what next step to take.

Over the years, I have seen my mum really been hostile to my dad and it's getting out of hand for me to bear.
I am the first son of some siblings and in my mid 20s.
I live apart from my parents in another state and one of my junior sibling who went home for a little break from school was complaining bitterly about how my mum attitude towards my dad is getting out of hand.

My father has to be the most responsible, respectable, reasonable man I ever know, he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't womanizer. He has been the sole breadwinner in the family from when we were small up till this time.
His work isn't moving very well as it used to back then and as such he cannot cater very well like he's used to and even though at that, he's been trying his best....
My mum just doesn't appreciate him enough and I've seen this a million times.

[color=#000000]My next line of action is to call my mum and give her a serious scolding because she hasn't been warned sternly about this by any of my siblings before.
This is getting out of hand and I cannot bear it anymore, please what do you all suggest I could do in this situation[/color]

It may be that your mum never loved your dad but condition made her to marry him. She doesn't feel fulfilled in the marriage and there is really nothing your dad can do about it. She's pouring all the frustration on him.

A major silent killer of men is marital maltreatment but nobody discusses it. A man is expected to be strong and be in control. If you are harsh you are a wife abuser and if you are a gentlemen trained to overlook women's shenanigans, you are a simp.

A man really can't win. I hope you are learning from your dad's experience.
It's very difficult for most men to admit that own mother is far from the type of woman they pray to marry. Because mother is supposed to be "iya ni waura". What her hubby goes through doesn't matter.

Sanguine:
The reverse is the case here.
My father, as far as I can remember, never treated my mother right. Always speaks ill of her to us, talks down on her, beats her sometimes. He doesn't listen to anybody, nobody can talk to him. Recently, he beat her sore. She called us and reported him to us.
None of us the children stay at home. I got angry and decided she cannot continue staying in that toxic house. I planned with my siblings and we moved her out of her husband's (our father) house. Talking to my father for the purpose of calling him to order is a sheer waste of valuable time.

My mother is in a much better place now, happy and very much at peace. My father can live all the alone he likes or wants to for all I care, until he realizes his misdeeds and tenders a genuine apology (if he ever does). You don't treat another human being you didn't create anyhow, just because you are the husband (or wife, as the case may be).

Let your father separate from your mother for a while, moreso for his own sanity and peace of mind. No one ever does well in a toxic environment. I bet you your mother will come to her right senses and behave herself. You don't know the value of what you have until you don't have it.

I hate nonsense!

See the way your mouth is running like a tap gushing out nonsense. Wait until you get married or if you are already married, wait until your wife finishes giving birth and all your children grown. You will understand what the female gender really is. You will then feel like apologizing to your father who must have died of heartache. Then you then will reap exactly what you sow.

aidameoryou:
Your suggestions are genuinely needed 🙏

Hi my people good day, I have been having a thorough thought all in my mind and have been boiling inside of me on what next step to take.

Over the years, I have seen my mum really been hostile to my dad and it's getting out of hand for me to bear.
I am the first son of some siblings and in my mid 20s.
I live apart from my parents in another state and one of my junior sibling who went home for a little break from school was complaining bitterly about how my mum attitude towards my dad is getting out of hand.

My father has to be the most responsible, respectable, reasonable man I ever know, he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't womanizer. He has been the sole breadwinner in the family from when we were small up till this time.
His work isn't moving very well as it used to back then and as such he cannot cater very well like he's used to and even though at that, he's been trying his best....
My mum just doesn't appreciate him enough and I've seen this a million times.

[color=#000000]My next line of action is to call my mum and give her a serious scolding because she hasn't been warned sternly about this by any of my siblings before.
This is getting out of hand and I cannot bear it anymore, please what do you all suggest I could do in this situation[/color]

Don't cut your life short by being over zealous. What she's doing, is it right? No.
Do you want to do something about it? Yes.
Look into her life and find someone she respects and listens to, her Pastor, Doctor, lawyer or older sibling and relate to them and they could talk to her.