What is the best advice you have received about how to raise a child?

Please, "spare the rod spoil the child" is not what I am looking for here.

Flog your pikin well whenever him/her messup

Be a good parent kids learns by example.

God help to raise children
Sometimes poverty change a child
I know a lot of children from Christian homes into fraud today because of poverty

Children can't meet an expectation unless the expectation has been explained to them. Children aren't born knowing what appropriate behavior is. They are sponges and can pick up a lot from seeing and hearing things but being told straight out what the expectation is for any given situation cuts down on power struggles and makes setting limits and boundaries easier.

It takes pure luck and the child willingness to train a child.

Na we be your best plug for everything Sexual enhancement tho

Klass99

Thanks sweet, I love it, will reply shortly in more detail, need to finish lunch first.

It's not by force to have children. There are many in the world who bore offspring before finding out they were better off childless. For some reason, those unable to feed themselves on a good day are super fertile. From observation, raising children is not for me till the far future. I can't come and kill myself. Yes, older folks without offspring live in regret for not trying — better that than bringing someone into existence only to abandon the person.

This is not exactly an advice I received personally, just a "technique" for dealing with when kids are behaving bad and correcting them. And I've read it from various parents sharing their stories and I think it's one of the best things ever.

If one's child is a bully, for example, because let's face it, we may gush and "aww" about having good, sweet and well-behaved children, but they don't turn out to be so all the time. And not because they are bad, though. They just don't have their judgement well-formed yet.

So I have read the experiences of different moms about when their kids are bullying another in the school for their food, cloth, etc., and they had to make their children "go through" what the kid they are bullying is going through.

If they were laughing at some kid for the kind of food he brings to school, then their mother start making such meal for them. If they were laughing at some kid's shoe, then their mom made them save up their allowances to afford a shoe for that kid that doesn't have.

Another kid was making fun of a kid who couldn't afford to go on a school trip, and then the mother went to pay for that kid's trip while her own child remained at home, and explained to him how he should be grateful for being privileged.

In all of these, the parent did sat down to explain what these children did wrong to them, though. And they also told them why they were punishing them. All done without beating them.


In the end sha, they learnt their lessons and some of them even go on to become friends with the kids they were bullying.

And of course, the classic one of BEING what you want your children to be like.

I've even experienced this myself when my niece came to stay with us.


I was always preening and making up myself with a mirror, and in no time, this girl has started carrying a mirror up and down, even keeping a compact mirror in her school bag like she keeps her pencils and stuff, and using it whenever she wants to eat.


Same thing with me writing/reading too. I was always doing that and she'd want to copy me. Beg me for a jotter or sheet or paper or any old story-book I was not using again.

Either she's writing "jagajaga" that she understands in it or looking from the storybook and writing the words out.


Her personality may have more to do with her always wanting to imitate me, though, 'cause there are others kids who've stayed with me and never did so. So I know for her, she'll need positive influences and good role models to "mirror".

I also appreciate validating children and their feelings and letting them express their emotions, especially anger. Or frustration. It's okay so long as it's not destructive. It's normal. We get stressed as adults too and we're allowed to let it out and to feel bad.

That shouldn't be different for kids.

Hmmm

Klass99:
Sorry this got longer than I wanted even after editing but you asked so deal with it . I didn't hear these things but having grown up as a child to an adult, this is coming from a place of personal experience. I would say;

1. Lead by example, show them things by precise action and good conduct. For instance engage your child when cooking or changing a flat tyre, let them be physically present when you do these things, let them watch, ask questions and let them try out a part of those activities, while you guide them and explain things.

2. Encourage extra curricular activities and if possible participate in them as well, like swimming, bike riding, library visits, borrowing books from the library and returning them on time, book reading etc. Make them read newspapers or books out loud to your hearing, explain the meaning of words and correct pronunciation of words too. This can be one article per day or week not the entire newspaper.

3. Know when to be a parent or a friend. Know when to be a hard ass and when not to be. You determine and decide what life events call for parenting or friendship, hard ass moves or soft ones. Don't say yes to every request either, weigh each request carefully before a yes or no. If you can, explain why you are saying no in certain instances. They may not like it or understand it, but it fosters transparency and good relations.

4. Make your home and household a pleasant place where the kids look forward to going back to on holiday from college or even leave vacations from work. There should be a mix of fun and work activities, leisure times and chore times. Don't let your household be one where there's always strife and animosity, children pick up on these things, it affects their moods and they start looking for ways to escape that environment.

5. Teach financial literacy and money matters early. Encourage skills acquisition in baking, tailoring, machine repairs etc. Pay for that kind of training and force them to participate if you have to, don't let them slack off or cut them some slack either, if they say it's not their thing, they are not interested. Mathematics was not my thing but I had to deal with it all through secondary school. Life is tough like that.

6. Still in line with number 6, help them get vacation jobs if possible, where they actually earn a stipend. Teach vital money lessons, work ethics and other valuable lessons around work, coworkers, superiors etc.

7. You may not want to hear this but pray for your children right from when they are in the womb. Pronounce the good things you want to see over them before they get here.

I say this because a single mother I know has the most well mannered son I have ever come across. Other people have testified to his great behaviour too. When I asked her what she did, she said part of it was praying over him when he was in her womb. She still did her part as a parent.

She would lay her hand on her belly and pronounce things over him from scripture and the word of God. I like how she gave God Almighty the glory and didn't act like it was all her. There truly is power in our tongues and words so use them for good, this can be done even after they've arrived.

I have saved this post for the future so you wouldn't delete it as you use to do.

About the deleting, it's the work of the agents of the dark forces, they want you to keep deleting all your hard work unknowingly. I'll suggest you come to my spiritual center for deliverance prayers and you'll be fine.

This I have seen.

.

Hathor5:
What is the best advice you have received about how to raise a child?

Please, "spare the rod spoil the child" is not what I am looking for here.

ALL children are a blessing but also ALL children are different... dont ever believe that what works to properly nurture/raise/educate your 3 first kids, will work for the 4th one. and yes, some children are born dumb and will remain DUMB (like the below):


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYUIEL1lWeU

Klass99:

Lol 🤣. Your yeye dey boom sha and no be today. Thunder fire you, your agents of darkness and your spiritual center of deliverance. You better keep your false prophecies far away from me.

Please this is a very serious matter, don't joke with it. I care about you that's why I'm showing geninue concern. I want you to be happy.

Klass99 said it all actually and as parents who were once kids. We can all relate. If you didn’t like something that happened in your parents’ house as a kid, chances are your kids won’t like it. If it didn’t help you become a better person, why would you think doing it to your kids will help them?


As for me, what I have is not advice because everyone has said it all. But someone once told me “cherish and make a mental note of every time you hold your kids, because one day it will be the last time you ever held them. And you never know when that will be.”

In this obodo oyibo precisely, two most important things I show my boys by examples. Financial empowerment and minding their business when they see nakid girls.
I wear skimpy at home during warm weather. Let it enter their head not to sexualise women body. Their daddy will be like " woman, cover up" but I'm thinking about the future. Don't want story.
Secondly, financial empowerment. My first will enter college this September and for anything I buy for him, he has to work for it. No more freebies. You want sneakers, fine but work for it.
And we will bargain. If he allows me to cheat him, my luck but if he learn the power of bargaining well, he might outsmart me.

Hathor5:
What is the best advice you have received about how to raise a child?

Please, "spare the rod spoil the child" is not what I am looking for here.

Counseling a child works for me than beating the child

When you counsel a child you will tell him more about the dangers of being a stupid and naughty child

That doesn't mean that you can't beat the child, but some words from counseling sinks better than flogging a child

MrBrownJay1:


ALL children are a blessing but also ALL children are different... dont ever believe that what works to properly nurture/raise/educate your 3 first kids, will work for the 4th one. and yes, some children are born dumb and will remain DUMB (like the below):


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYUIEL1lWeU

True. Each child is different.

frozen70:


Counseling a child works for me than beating the child

When you counsel a child you will tell him more about the dangers of being a stupid and naughty child

That doesn't mean that you can't beat the child, but some words from counseling sinks better than flogging a child

I also prefer patience and talking over beatings. God give us a lot of patience.

Klass99

You have given some valuable advice up there. Very inspiring. What stood out to me was the prayer part. I have prayed more since I have become a mother. When you realize that you can`t always protect them because you can`t be always be with them, fear kicks in and then you trun to God. But then I also ask myself, have those other parents not prayed too? It`s a theological discussion after all.

descarado:
In this obodo oyibo precisely, two most important things I show my boys by examples. Financial empowerment and minding their business when they see nakid girls.
I wear skimpy at home during warm weather. Let it enter their head not to sexualise women body. Their daddy will be like " woman, cover up" but I'm thinking about the future. Don't want story.
Secondly, financial empowerment. My first will enter college this September and for anything I buy for him, he has to work for it. No more freebies. You want sneakers, fine but work for it.
And we will bargain. If he allows me to cheat him, my luck but if he learn the power of bargaining well, he might outsmart me.

First part, I have travelled a lot and I have noticed that in those countries in Europe where nakidness is the order of the day due to hot weather, men tend to be more relaxed. They don`t get excited as fast as men in Arab countries where they don`t get to see nakid skin all too often so I totally get you.

cococandy:
Klass99 said it all actually and as parents who were once kids. We can all relate. If you didn’t like something that happened in your parents’ house as a kid, chances are your kids won’t like it. If it didn’t help you become a better person, why would you think doing it to your kids will help them?

Makes sense.

As for me, what I have is not advice because everyone has said it all. But someone once told me “cherish and make a mental note of every time you hold your kids, because one day it will be the last time you ever held them. And you never know when that will be.”

Don`t make me cry Coco o.

Eunoiaa:
This is not exactly an advice I received personally, just a "technique" for dealing with when kids are behaving bad and correcting them. And I've read it from various parents sharing their stories and I think it's one of the best things ever.

If one's child is a bully, for example, because let's face it, we may gush and "aww" about having good, sweet and well-behaved children, but they don't turn out to be so all the time. And not because they are bad, though. They just don't have their judgement well-formed yet.

So I have read the experiences of different moms about when their kids are bullying another in the school for their food, cloth, etc., and they had to make their children "go through" what the kid they are bullying is going through.

If they were laughing at some kid for the kind of food he brings to school, then their mother start making such meal for them. If they were laughing at some kid's shoe, then their mom made them save up their allowances to afford a shoe for that kid that doesn't have.

Another kid was making fun of a kid who couldn't afford to go on a school trip, and then the mother went to pay for that kid's trip while her own child remained at home, and explained to him how he should be grateful for being privileged.

In all of these, the parent did sat down to explain what these children did wrong to them, though. And they also told them why they were punishing them. All done without beating them.


In the end sha, they learnt their lessons and some of them even go on to become friends with the kids they were bullying.

Inspiring. Let`s raise kind humans.

Hathor5:


I also prefer patience and talking over beatings. God give us a lot of patience.

Amen 🙏

Klass99:

😂🤣😂🤣. FP1 abeg rest.

I'll rest when you tell me that you'll stop deleting your post you spent so much time to compose.