I Stood Up To My Father - Family (6)

I Stood Up To My Father - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: I Stood Up To My Father by Neddyogu(m): 1:35pm On Jun 16, 2023

Go kneel before your father and beg his forgiveness. The butterfly indeed thinks himself a bird..... Tables do turn.

1 Like

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by LikeAking: 1:36pm On Jun 16, 2023

kokorokoman:
baba you know say we done first get banter before sha.
even if you are 40 years old man and you are under your father's roof if you come home by 12 midnight every father have the right to question you not to talk of a teenager wey never know anythng for life sef.
not that the father was even harsh to him with words, what the dad even said to him were the kindest words any man can use to caution his teen child.
why my teenage son go come home 12 midnight i go come dey use mouth tell am about what neighbors will think, the action i go take againt am is better left unsaid. no be say na work you go, no be say dem send you message, no be say you even call home say you go come late.
i swear this kind yeye pikin cannot look directly into the eyes of his age mates o.
na your papa you wan take practice confidence, mugu.
i just a teenager with a bloated ego because of small small money wey he don dey see, the way he stated how much he earns and had to even mention that he paid for packing join house rent tells much about him, the one wey pain me pass na the packing wey he still go mention join.
for your info, an 18 year old in my neigborhood in benin city spent 6 million naira in treating his mum of cancer, had to fly her outside nigeria.
18 year olds don dey buy cars and build houses and you dey here dey talk nonsense.
the thing just pain me for body like say na me be him papa.

Things have changed..

This is not the old school era.

All the strong hand is our old sch parents what has it done for us? Nigeria is in its worst state toady cos of old sch parents parenting.

It's the new generation that enjoyed free hand and have woke parents who are making it big.

You need to give your children space to build their own lives and discover things. Don't be too clingy...

Learn from the mistakes of old sch fadas. Most of them are enemies to their kid today.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by descarado: 1:36pm On Jun 16, 2023

Assetosky:
You just hurt your father's pride and ego. He won't forget this and might never advice you again

All the advice you needed from your parents ends at around 13 yrs.
The rest is from peers, surrounding and experience.

That's why parents can confidently put their kids in boarding school and or send them out to go and do boy boy at a younger age.
If you don't talk to your child like an adult, start now. Those words are stored in their memory and when a situation comes for them to use them, they will remember daddy or mummy told me this when I was 6 or 10.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by PROPEACE: 1:38pm On Jun 16, 2023

DamianDd:
My dad is a really good guy, I love him so much and he's gentle most times. Though he gets angry sometimes but he's reasonable about everything he does.

I came home 11:30 which is very late and I knew that and I even hated it too that I came home this late so I was trying to avoid him even when he asked to come to his room because I had a gut feeling that things won't gi right.

But I ended up going to get my charger that was with him, then for the first 5 minutes in he was making sense about why I came home late and I was agreeing to it that it's true

Then all of a sudden he starts saying "what will people think?" "Neighbors are watching" "they'll start saying god forbid, like father like son" "I nor fit let my pikin be like this boy" "which kind family be this, see when their son dey come house?" "People are watching, people are judging" and even more words and it started getting annoying to me, then he said they will say "see when this small pikin dey come house"

It was at that moment that I shut it down, I've never been that way to him but it was so infuriating, I told him I'm not a child I'm 18 which is legal age, I work for my money, I make 50k to 300k a month on my own; no neighbors give me food when I'm hungry, the landlord doesn't clean my eyes when they hurt from viewing my phone too much so I don't give a Bleep what they think of me. I told him to not put all those orientations in my head because it affected me alot when I was younger and it made me timid and shy and scared of being myself or having different opinions and that's what I'm trying to fix in myself and my mindset now.

What I do feel bad about is last year I paid for the house rent and packing when I had alot of money, I brought it up when I was talking to him and said "I paid for this house with my own money so who is landlord or the neighbors for me to be sacred to come in and out of my own home, I know what I did is wrong and I'm sorry but don't put those bad thoughts in my head" I shouldn't have said that though by bringing up what I did for family. He only called me back and said "don't worry I won't talk to you anymore until I use my own money to pay for the house next time" I didn't say anything because i know I was wrong and nothing good would come out of talking back, I just left his room.

What's your thoughts on the matter?

Sad! I am sure your gentleman of a dad will think twice before accepting a dime from you.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by SeriouslySense(m): 1:39pm On Jun 16, 2023

descarado:
All the advice you needed from your parents ends at around 13 yrs.
The rest is from peers, surrounding and experience.

That's why parents can confidently put their kids in boarding school and or send them out to go and do boy boy at a younger age.
If you don't talk to your child like an adult, start now. Those words are stored in their memory and when a situation comes for them to use them, they will remember daddy or mummy told me this when I was 6 or 10.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by SeriouslySense(m): 1:39pm On Jun 16, 2023

LikeAking:
Things have changed..

This is not the old school era.

All the strong hand is our old sch parents what has it done for us? Nigeria is in its worst state toady cos of old sch parents parenting.

It's the new generation that enjoyed free hand and have woke parents who are making it big.

You need to give your children space to build their own lives and discover things. Don't be too clingy...

Learn from the mistakes of old sch fadas. Most of them are enemies to their kid today.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by Codes151(m): 1:40pm On Jun 16, 2023

if u cant abide by ur fathers rules why dont u leave the house since u claim u make 500k a month...

ur 18.. smh

1 Like

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by SeriouslySense(m): 1:41pm On Jun 16, 2023

Codes151:
if u cant abide by ur fathers rules why dont u leave the house since u claim u make 500k a month...

ur 18.. smh

1 Like

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by Mom007(f): 1:42pm On Jun 16, 2023

U went a tad bit too far. Apologize to him and next time, if ever there is a next time... Just say yes sir and go do you. You sound like a level headed guy so don't do anything that will vindicate his point of view and bring shame to your family. And pls, never mention to your father that you took up any of his responsibilities. Just don't.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by ahnie: 1:44pm On Jun 16, 2023

superCleanworks:
INNOCENT darling to an iGBOMAN calling another man darling.

IGBOMAN must hear this

Bia nwoke'm,you have started o.
Happy weekend dear... how's work dear.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by stormborn28(m): 1:47pm On Jun 16, 2023

SangoOlukosoOba:
I must commend your dad for his patience. He is a real man!

If I was your dad, you will be on a wheelchair with no arms and legs. I will report myself to the police station when I am done with you!

You have a great dad.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by emekajacobogbon(m): 1:50pm On Jun 16, 2023

NobleSeed:
18 yrs old paying house rent and standing to his dad is now consider to be a real man.....
God forbid

My brother God forbid ooooooooooooh

1 Like

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by Fab21: 1:51pm On Jun 16, 2023

Well, parenting is not quite easy as we think and I think most of our parents might have made this mistake while raising us..

Irrespective of their exposure, their status, their knowledge, they're not perfect; and mistake is inevitable.

However, this is Nigeria. We've our own culture which is quite different from that of Western.

The father might have made mistake while raising that boy, thereby resulting to low self-esteem and inferiority complex.

But let's look at it from the perspective of the father:
That statement from his son brought shame, pain, pressure and despair to him.

This same father has been providing for the family for years without spiting. You know the pains men go through before putting food on their table.

@OP, I know you're financially stable than your father at the moment and as long as it's legit. But leave that aside, and pls go to your father and beg him.

You can still be free from timidness & inferiority complex he's caused in one way or the other .

There are infos online to lay your hands on to break free from these traits.

I know you reacted out of anger.
Go to him and beg him!

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by kokorokoman: 1:51pm On Jun 16, 2023

LikeAking:
Things have changed..

This is not the old school era.

All the strong hand is our old sch parents what has it done for us? Nigeria is in its worst state toady cos of old sch parents parenting.

It's the new generation that enjoyed free hand and have woke parents who are making it big.

You need to give your children space to build their own lives and discover things. Don't be too clingy...

Learn from the mistakes of old sch fadas. Most of them are enemies to their kid today.

please baba, what foreign countries have you lived in before ?
i repeat baba, there is no where in this world where a teenage child will come home as late as 12 that he will not be questioned.
in america o, france o, saudi arabia o, india o. no where, all these foreign countries you are referring to have what they call curfew for their kids, if a child breaks his or her curfew na wahala.
what does free hand have to do with keeping late?
na wa o.
then you have to remind me as your father during an argument that you paid the house rent, i would prefer my child fight and naked me than to remind me that he paid my house rent during an argument.

2 Likes

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by NoToPile: 1:53pm On Jun 16, 2023

You need to see the way I am vibrating reading this boys post.

I actually laughed out loud when I got to the I am 18 and an adult part.

Where are you from?

You had the nerves, the guts to remind your father you paid the house rent, you have hurt that man much more you can imagine all beacsue of what because he said people will be seeing you coming late?

Because you are making money now abi grin

For him to have said until he pays the rent before he talks to you about anything shows the amount of hurt. You couldn't resist rubbing it in, you could have just made your point about not minding what other people think but no you had to throw in the I pay the rent line.

Infact for that your insult e get wetin dey follow am.

You beta go and prostrate and beg him. I pity you boy.

You know you did bad you are looking for solidarity, let NL boys be hailing you ehn.

1 Like

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by yewit37486: 1:54pm On Jun 16, 2023

SangoOlukosoOba:
I must commend your dad for his patience. He is a real man!

If I was your dad, you will be on a wheelchair with no arms and legs. I will report myself to the police station when I am done with you!

You have a great dad.

Lmaoo

OP, you owe your father an APOLOGY.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by CHoccolaTE: 1:54pm On Jun 16, 2023

This is Nigerian men attitude naa

Becoming overly arrogant because they have small change. That's how they start behaving like jerks and asshole to their wives if they manage to make small money.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by SeriouslySense(m): 1:55pm On Jun 16, 2023

I will i describe this action of yours what could it be due to, maybe psychotic, or perhaps more appropriately: "psychopathy"; anyways, its extreme grin

SangoOlukosoOba:
I must commend your dad for his patience. He is a real man!

If I was your dad, you will be on a wheelchair with no arms and legs. I will report myself to the police station when I am done with you!

You have a great dad.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by JasperVII(m): 1:56pm On Jun 16, 2023

You stood up to your father and you're coming here to tell us.

You're a stupid fellow.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by SangoOlukosoOba(m): 1:56pm On Jun 16, 2023

SeriouslySense:
I will i describe this action of yours maybe psychotic, or perhaps psychopathy, anyways, its extreme .

I am very volatile and my kids know! I got 3 boys! I cannot afford to not set boundaries!

Alcohol and steroids can never make them look into my eyes. They have special ways of disagreeing with me.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by 1Sharon(f): 1:57pm On Jun 16, 2023

You stood up for yourself, good.

But since you have the means, just move out.

Even if you're paying all of the rent, your parents will never give you that respect because you're in their shadows.

Once they see you don't need them anymore, the respect increases.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by tyinfinity: 1:58pm On Jun 16, 2023

A thug is not good as a son.your father advised you but instead you started bragging about your useless achievement.thsnk God you are not Mikel Obi or that Adesanya Isreal the boxer and Lionel Messi .those are good children .I pity your father for giving birth to a vagabond as a child

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by SeriouslySense(m): 1:59pm On Jun 16, 2023

Okay makes sense, that volatility creates fear. It will work, if all your sons are not like you. I also would not want to make a volatile person angry grin

SangoOlukosoOba:
I am very volatile and my kids know! I got 3 boys! I cannot afford to not set boundaries!

Alcohol and steroids can never make them look into my eyes. They have special ways of disagreeing with me.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by Royce704: 1:59pm On Jun 16, 2023

You just gave your father the biggest insult any body would give him. You think as a father, he was comfortable that his son is paying house rent and dishing out money to pack? It made him uncomfortable. You came back late and had to rob it in his face: you pay the house rent and had the authority to go in and out as you please. You should be ashamed of yourself. When you grow up and have children, you will understand the pains of those words you uttered to your father. If only you know the pains he felt to tell you that: when he is able to pay rent, then maybe he can talk to you. You should go back and apologize to that man.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by DollarSigns(m): 1:59pm On Jun 16, 2023

DamianDd:
My dad is a really good guy, I love him so much and he's gentle most times. Though he gets angry sometimes but he's reasonable about everything he does.

I came home 11:30 which is very late and I knew that and I even hated it too that I came home this late so I was trying to avoid him even when he asked to come to his room because I had a gut feeling that things won't gi right.

But I ended up going to get my charger that was with him, then for the first 5 minutes in he was making sense about why I came home late and I was agreeing to it that it's true

Then all of a sudden he starts saying "what will people think?" "Neighbors are watching" "they'll start saying god forbid, like father like son" "I nor fit let my pikin be like this boy" "which kind family be this, see when their son dey come house?" "People are watching, people are judging" and even more words and it started getting annoying to me, then he said they will say "see when this small pikin dey come house"

It was at that moment that I shut it down, I've never been that way to him but it was so infuriating, I told him I'm not a child I'm 18 which is legal age, I work for my money, I make 50k to 300k a month on my own; no neighbors give me food when I'm hungry, the landlord doesn't clean my eyes when they hurt from viewing my phone too much so I don't give a Bleep what they think of me. I told him to not put all those orientations in my head because it affected me alot when I was younger and it made me timid and shy and scared of being myself or having different opinions and that's what I'm trying to fix in myself and my mindset now.

What I do feel bad about is last year I paid for the house rent and packing when I had alot of money, I brought it up when I was talking to him and said "I paid for this house with my own money so who is landlord or the neighbors for me to be sacred to come in and out of my own home, I know what I did is wrong and I'm sorry but don't put those bad thoughts in my head" I shouldn't have said that though by bringing up what I did for family. He only called me back and said "don't worry I won't talk to you anymore until I use my own money to pay for the house next time" I didn't say anything because i know I was wrong and nothing good would come out of talking back, I just left his room.

What's your thoughts on the matter?

Damn you’re an arrogant fellow
What happened to you speaking up your mind without mentioning the things you did for your family members, it shows that inside of you is egoistic and arrogantly proud
That’s so irrational of you, you ended up making your dad look small

Try to apologize
And mind you, the fact that you make 50k-300k a month looking at your phone doesn’t give you the right to get back late at nights
If you want to keep doing that, go & rent your own space.
18 years old boy and you’re saying such big things to a grown man
Pride goes before a deep fall, karma is a bitch, just make sure yours is beautiful

PS: 3 things you shouldn’t attack in a man
Never take a man’s money, his ego and his woman
🥺

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by kokorokoman: 2:00pm On Jun 16, 2023

NoToPile:
You need to see the way I am vibrating reading this boys post.

I actually laughed out loud when I got to the I am 18 and an adult part.

Where are you from?

You had the nerves, the guts to remind your father you paid the house rent, you have hurt that man much more you can imagine all beacsue of what because he said people will be seeing you coming late?

Because you are making money now abi

For him to have said until he pays the rent before he talks to you about anything shows the amount of hurt. You couldn't resist rubbing it in, you could have just made your point about not minding what other people think but no you had to throw in the I pay the rent line.

Infact for that your insult e get wetin dey follow am.

You beta go and prostrate and beg him. I pity you boy.

You know you did bad you are looking for solidarity.

baba, the thing pain me ehn, i just dey here just dey feel for him papa.
olonhun, if to say na my front the boy dey talk these things ehn, the kind better slap wey i for take reset the boy brain ehn.
wetin pain me pass for everything na dat ''i paid for packing''.
the werey still had to add the ''packing''.
these kind children wey dey form ''i am a man'' for their papa no dey fit look their age mate face to face for outside o.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by LikeAking: 2:01pm On Jun 16, 2023

kokorokoman:
please baba, what foreign countries have you lived in before ?
i repeat baba, there is no where in this world where a teenage child will come home as late as 12 that he will not be questioned.
in america o, france o, saudi arabia o, india o. no where, all these foreign countries you are referring to have what they call curfew for their kids, if a child breaks his or her curfew na wahala.
what does free hand have to do with keeping late?
na wa o.
then you have to remind me as your father during an argument that you paid the house rent, i would prefer my child fight and naked me than to remind me that he paid my house rent during an argument.

Don't have that mind set...

Just calm down, when you become a father no too carry children Matt's for head, just focus on your hustle...

Allow children once them turn 18, to get hustle, trade or skill like Op and live their lives.

If the child was in his own house will his dad's question him?

Will he even know what's happening?

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by Bananapill: 2:03pm On Jun 16, 2023

DamianDd:
My dad is a really good guy, I love him so much and he's gentle most times. Though he gets angry sometimes but he's reasonable about everything he does.

I came home 11:30 which is very late and I knew that and I even hated it too that I came home this late so I was trying to avoid him even when he asked to come to his room because I had a gut feeling that things won't gi right.

But I ended up going to get my charger that was with him, then for the first 5 minutes in he was making sense about why I came home late and I was agreeing to it that it's true

Then all of a sudden he starts saying "what will people think?" "Neighbors are watching" "they'll start saying god forbid, like father like son" "I nor fit let my pikin be like this boy" "which kind family be this, see when their son dey come house?" "People are watching, people are judging" and even more words and it started getting annoying to me, then he said they will say "see when this small pikin dey come house"

It was at that moment that I shut it down, I've never been that way to him but it was so infuriating, I told him I'm not a child I'm 18 which is legal age, I work for my money, I make 50k to 300k a month on my own; no neighbors give me food when I'm hungry, the landlord doesn't clean my eyes when they hurt from viewing my phone too much so I don't give a Bleep what they think of me. I told him to not put all those orientations in my head because it affected me alot when I was younger and it made me timid and shy and scared of being myself or having different opinions and that's what I'm trying to fix in myself and my mindset now.

What I do feel bad about is last year I paid for the house rent and packing when I had alot of money, I brought it up when I was talking to him and said "I paid for this house with my own money so who is landlord or the neighbors for me to be sacred to come in and out of my own home, I know what I did is wrong and I'm sorry but don't put those bad thoughts in my head" I shouldn't have said that though by bringing up what I did for family. He only called me back and said "don't worry I won't talk to you anymore until I use my own money to pay for the house next time" I didn't say anything because i know I was wrong and nothing good would come out of talking back, I just left his room.

What's your thoughts on the matter?

You let your dad down and rubbed off on his ego by that statement of paying the house rent.
You could have called home to say you were running late. Go to him and apologize because every delayed apology is still disobedience.
He will tell he's sorry for trying to compare if you are prompt in your apology.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by SangoOlukosoOba(m): 2:03pm On Jun 16, 2023

SeriouslySense:
Okay makes sense, that volatility creates fear. It will work, if all your sons are not like you. I also would not want to make a volatile person angry

Okoro cannot grow taller than who planted it. The ones I got are even butters! Just scream at them, they will disappear for the day, later to apologize.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by NOETHNICITY(m): 2:04pm On Jun 16, 2023

https://www.nairaland.com/damiandd
@ damiandd, I’m twice your age. I am responsible for my parents 100% and more. I do so much more for them. Whenever I travel home during festivals with my family, my dad still quarrels about the time I come home which is usually between 8.30pm and latest 9pm. But I have never ever even for once showed or expressed my anger.
I’m one person who has never ever all my life expressed anger towards my parents till this age. And I’m proud of myself for this very reason. And my parents see me as the best possible person anyone can have a relationship parent.
Learn to kill the pride in you.
This pride is the very reason God has not deemed it fit to bless a lot of people. He knows they cannot handle riches. People become oppressive when they are rich. Learn and go kneel down to beg your father for forgiveness

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by LikeAking: 2:09pm On Jun 16, 2023

descarado:
That is not dishonour.
We are applying stat here darling.
Oyibo man is not using such words to rule us by proxy.
They use empirical research by renowned psychologists.
We are still babies in this world. That's why they are still guiding us. Now, somebody is doing the right thing and we are saying dishonour. Who has that helped?
Guy was triggered. Read his post.
His dad brought out his demon. He has been battling this same emptiness as a child courtesy of his dad( psychological trauma). Nobody saw that here except one guy. Everybody was on about his dad, his dad. What about him.
He will take over from his dad but as what?
His dad said he don't want him to be like him but he is doing exactly that!

That guy is a man at 18. (Some 30 something yrs old are here from mor till night begging.
Some are already calling him yahoo boy.
Yet they are here 247)
He reminded his dad he paid the house rent cos he want the dad to see him as a man with responsibility.

That's how poor African's reason.

Re: I Stood Up To My Father by Kelvin30286063(m): 2:09pm On Jun 16, 2023

DamianDd:
My dad is a really good guy, I love him so much and he's gentle most times. Though he gets angry sometimes but he's reasonable about everything he does.

I came home 11:30 which is very late and I knew that and I even hated it too that I came home this late so I was trying to avoid him even when he asked to come to his room because I had a gut feeling that things won't gi right.

But I ended up going to get my charger that was with him, then for the first 5 minutes in he was making sense about why I came home late and I was agreeing to it that it's true

Then all of a sudden he starts saying "what will people think?" "Neighbors are watching" "they'll start saying god forbid, like father like son" "I nor fit let my pikin be like this boy" "which kind family be this, see when their son dey come house?" "People are watching, people are judging" and even more words and it started getting annoying to me, then he said they will say "see when this small pikin dey come house"

It was at that moment that I shut it down, I've never been that way to him but it was so infuriating, I told him I'm not a child I'm 18 which is legal age, I work for my money, I make 50k to 300k a month on my own; no neighbors give me food when I'm hungry, the landlord doesn't clean my eyes when they hurt from viewing my phone too much so I don't give a Bleep what they think of me. I told him to not put all those orientations in my head because it affected me alot when I was younger and it made me timid and shy and scared of being myself or having different opinions and that's what I'm trying to fix in myself and my mindset now.

What I do feel bad about is last year I paid for the house rent and packing when I had alot of money, I brought it up when I was talking to him and said "I paid for this house with my own money so who is landlord or the neighbors for me to be sacred to come in and out of my own home, I know what I did is wrong and I'm sorry but don't put those bad thoughts in my head" I shouldn't have said that though by bringing up what I did for family. He only called me back and said "don't worry I won't talk to you anymore until I use my own money to pay for the house next time" I didn't say anything because i know I was wrong and nothing good would come out of talking back, I just left his room.

What's your thoughts on the matter?

Wow, thank God I'm not your dad. I understand the fact that you're seeing money now and you feel you are in charge. I remember when I made my first million, I didn't pick my parent's call at first ring anymore. But at the end of the day, I came to realize that no matter how rich I become, or whatever I do for them, it can't amount to what they did for me cos if they abandoned me when I was young and vulnerable, I won't be anywhere close to where I am now. Hope you learn something from this. You're 18 and you're talking like you're an adult. Dude I'm 35 and I still can't look my dad in the face even though I'm like 10 times richer than him now.

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