im in my late 20s my boyfriend is in his early 30s

he is a great guy, he earns a good amount, he has a good job, he is ambitious, he spoils me (buys me lavish gifts), he loves and supports his family, he cares for me when i am sick, he is intentional about me, he speaks multiple languages, he is educated, and more.. he is my perfect guy and he is so handsome too, i feel like i've hit the jackpot. he isn't perfect, but neither am i, but he has great potential.

i have 3 issues

1) his family

his mother, these are the issues that have happened

A. when he took me on our first trip abroad i sensed that his mother wasnt really in suport of it, which i understand. some mothers may not think it is wise to spend lavishly on a girl you have just started dating. Also, he started to use my picture as his display picture on imessage because he liked how I look, I also used his too. but then this happened.. his mother and his aunty held a family meeting with him and asked him why I am allowing him to control me and commented about the holiday and the display picture.
B. I kind of got the vibe that his mom wasn’t happy about the fact that he spent new years eve with me at a party as opposed to at home praying as usual with her
C. Valentine’s came and when the gift he delivered for me arrived, his mother (as a joke) asked “where are her gifts” and asked him why he doesn’t buy her gifts. And then she started enquiring on our valentines plans
D. She wanted her son (my boyfriend) to go to her with to a church to pray that the relationship is God’s will (she is very spiritual and goes to church every day) and when her son told me I thought it was weird. I have no issues with her going alone, or even him going alone, or us two going together, but the fact that she and him wanted to go I felt it was weird. So then I invited myself to come to the church with them and then as the day that I was able to come was a week day she said she had to go to work on that day. So that my boyfriend offered to pay her what she would earn in a day so she could come. She agreed. But then she said she would meet us at the church and make her own way home, instead of us going as a three. And then when I just felt that was weird too, I expressed my concerns to my man and said that I wouldn’t go to the church and then he said he wouldn’t go to the church with his mother and that was a huge issue, she sent him paragraphs upon paragraphs of messages and was very unhappy about it. They didn’t speak for months, because of the church issue and other arguments they have had
E. I noticed that they don’t talk to each other via message anymore, and im wondering whether it is because of the profile picture and he said they just prefer to talk via the phone
F. Since then everything has been fine, but that is because he has stopped talking to his mother about our relationship and has kind of distanced himself from her. Also other things surrounding his family have come to light, I have found out that his mother doesn’t talk to any of her siblings she has 3 of them (for over 20 years) and has fallen out with most of her friends. She also had a bad marriage herself that ended in divorce. My boyfriend doesn’t talk to his older brother and hated his dad because of how he treated his mother. To the extent that, my boyfriend is biracial (half white) but refuses to acknowledge that he is white because of how much he hates his dad. His younger sister also has bipolar disorder and I am wondering if these things are genetic. I don’t know how comfortable I feel marrying into this family, what if his mother and I have a misunderstanding – will she stop talking to me for years? Will his little sister have an episode that puts a strain on our marriage?
G. The family also really, really depend on him. And I am concerned, if we do progress in our relationship and move to the next stage – how will they cope when he is gone, because I don’t want to share my husband. I wouldn’t want to be in a situation where he is being a husband in 2 households. There is nothing wrong with having a son who is a main figure in the house, but he really does play the son/husband role in their household.

2) appearance
Like I said earlier, he is a handsome
He is handsome but he isn’t exactly my type in terms of appearance and how I’d like our future kids to look

3) job
It was always my dream to marry a doctor, or someone really rich. Im not a gold digger, but like I said earlier, he is a provider. But he still lives at home. Im interested to know how much of a provider he could be for me and our future family when he is living alone 100% paying his own bills and mortgage, because his disposable income will go down. I feel like I’d feel more confident marrying someone who was living independently and able to fend for themselves 100%

thats another thing, his mother diddnt even want him to move out because he supports the family she wanted him to stay at home and help pay off her mortgage



i get the vibe that she feels im taking her man away

You're just bad for a girlfriend. The signs are there.

how?

Zonefree:
You're just bad for a girlfriend. The signs are there.

Try to gain the mother love. If not, the woman will not accept you, and you may never get married to that guy of your dream. Good thing don't come easily, you will fast and pray about it.

1. A It's very obvious that he's pumping more of his finances on you than his mom hence her ranting. Do you know the cost of flying a return ticket for 2 abroad with lodging cost, shopping...etc. And he's still a salary earner, every concerned mom would raise her eyebrows. And any sensible girl would caution her man against such unnecessary wastage.

B. No sensible girl would support her man to ditch his mom just to be with her, you should have encouraged him to go for the New year Eve prayers and even joined him there. That way you'd get to bond properly with her. You're just selfish and self-centered.

C. That woman has laboured more for that guy than you. You should have handed over the gift he bought for you to her. I'm 100% sure that if you did that, he'll definitely get you another gift and his mom would have a gift as well. It's like killing two birds with one stone.

D. You're playing a very dangerous game that wouldn't end well for you, cos with time, he'd be forced to choose between you and his mom, and believe me, he'll choose her over you over and over again. Never object whatever she suggests to her son, cos he hasn't married you. For now you're just a girlfriend whom he can replace anytime. So stop coming in between them, allow them sort out themselves and do not interfere cos he'll tell her whatever you say.

E. Hmmm

F. You should be more concerned about how you've already created division between him and his mom in just the few months you've been in his life. That should trouble you more than whatever is going on in his family. Cos if you cannot get on fine with his mom and marry him, believe me, the word depression would be a child's play as compared to what you'll face should things go south.

G. The family has been depending on him before he met you and would continue to depend on him whether or not you get married. If you try to cut him off from providing for them, they'll gang up and make that marriage a living hell for you. Your concern should be his ability to take care of the home (if he married you) and not what he gives to his people cos he'll Continue to support them. You certainly cannot stop him.

2. You don't like his appearance yet you agreed to an all paid expense trip abroad? If you know you can't stay with him, let him be. Cos it would be evil and an act of witchcraft to separate him from his mom and dump him along the way. You're no longer a kid, make up your mind.

3. So you've never had dreams of achieving your own goals and becoming an independent woman. You're saying you have no aspirations, no ambition, no career growth, nothing at all you're looking forward to aside marrying a rich man who would take care of you? That's all you hope for as a woman? You have no plans of working or at least taking care of yourself...I'm afraid to tell you that if you continue this way, sooner or later that guy would start seeing you as a liability and begin hunting for your replacement.

Will you kindly shut the hell up and go find work do. Unfortunate lazy ass girls be taking marriage as a retirement scheme

Sxyhalima:
how?

I have no issues with her going alone, or even him going alone, or us two going together, but the fact that she and him wanted to go I felt it was weird.

Here.

What's weird about a mother going to Church with her son? Do you realize you're just ordinary girlfriend

You are not okay with his appearance
But you are okay with his pocket.

You don't want him to be a husband in 2 household
Yet the 1st household existed b4 you.

Why is my mind telling me you are a bad person.
You don't deserve all these things he is doing for you.
You are just in the r/s becos he's rich.
How I wish he would see all these b4 he gets married to you.

Sxyhalima:
how?

See..you're a gold digger...theres no woman that will ever come out and call herself a gold digger but his mother has seen through you.

I hope he never marries you

Na WA! are you the only girl in this world

I don tire for this wura serano inspired story jaeee.

Na we be your best plug for everything Sexual enhancement tho

Madam you've listed all this things I was looking to see what you do for a living what are you bringing into the relationship honestly you're gold digger and you said you're not yet you're madam go get a life and find something doing

You don't really like his appearance but his pocket?? You're are a gold digger and will cheat if he marries you.

Ah! The person that said there's nothing new under the sun should be arrested, new things happen everyday.

See those stupiid comments up there. Attacking the lady for no sensible reason.

Your whole epistle is about what you can get from him, what he can do for you and suck from him like a bloodthirsty vampire, not the way he make you feels or what you feel about him.

You are only interested in him as a Beta provider and you are not sexually attracted to him. It is also the reason why you crave more power in that aspect instead of the way he make you feels and how you really feel about him.

There is nothing he can do for you that would ever be enough even if he gave you control over his whole life because you don't like him that way.

You only see him as a provider and not a lover, even If the guy do everything for you it wouldn't be enough and you would just become a bottomless pit that would continue to suck life out of him because you are not in love with him and attracted to him sexually you are only interested in him because of what he can provide for you.

You can even cheat on him with a bikeman, driver or gateman or worse you find attractive and I'm 90% sure you are already cheating on him, you can give him bastard children in your desperation to get that gene you want in your children because it is obvious he can't provide that and you will make up for it somehow, do the man a favour and dump him instead of being a bottomless pit that crave insatiable control over his life.

You would never be satisfied until you destroyed his life or killed him. Despite all what you said he is doing for you the list of what you don't like or what you still want is still that long, do him a favour and look for a guy that can give you all what you want.

if you aint physically attracted to this man and you want a guy with a top job (like doctor, oga at the top etc) then what are you doing wasting his/your time?

Zonefree:
You're just bad for a girlfriend. The signs are there.

Honestly. Na this type them dey pray against.

See evil girlfriend....

God abeg ooooo.

From ur long narrative essay, it only spells out one thing, and that's the fact that u are a SELF CENTERED GOLD DIGGER .... That young man deserves better

U complain 2 much

May we never encounter bad and evil bannies all the days of our lives..

Sxyhalima:
how?

You are a very bad influence to that guy , will you let your son or brother treat his girlfriend like that? Stop wasting money for that guy , you useless money waster

Whatever disdain his mother felt towards you, must be the holy spirit prompting her... Look at the division you have caused in that family, before you came he has been going to church with his mother. You are on a mission but you have already failed you agent of darkness. I can see through you.

Sxyhalima:
im in my late 20s my boyfriend is in his early 30s

he is a great guy, he earns a good amount, he has a good job, he is ambitious, he spoils me (buys me lavish gifts), he loves and supports his family, he cares for me when i am sick, he is intentional about me, he speaks multiple languages, he is educated, and more.. he is my perfect guy and he is so handsome too, i feel like i've hit the jackpot. he isn't perfect, but neither am i, but he has great potential.

i have 3 issues

1) his family

his mother, these are the issues that have happened

A. when he took me on our first trip abroad i sensed that his mother wasnt really in suport of it, which i understand. some mothers may not think it is wise to spend lavishly on a girl you have just started dating. Also, he started to use my picture as his display picture on imessage because he liked how I look, I also used his too. but then this happened.. his mother and his aunty held a family meeting with him and asked him why I am allowing him to control me and commented about the holiday and the display picture.
B. I kind of got the vibe that his mom wasn’t happy about the fact that he spent new years eve with me at a party as opposed to at home praying as usual with her
C. Valentine’s came and when the gift he delivered for me arrived, his mother (as a joke) asked “where are her gifts” and asked him why he doesn’t buy her gifts. And then she started enquiring on our valentines plans
D. She wanted her son (my boyfriend) to go to her with to a church to pray that the relationship is God’s will (she is very spiritual and goes to church every day) and when her son told me I thought it was weird. I have no issues with her going alone, or even him going alone, or us two going together, but the fact that she and him wanted to go I felt it was weird. So then I invited myself to come to the church with them and then as the day that I was able to come was a week day she said she had to go to work on that day. So that my boyfriend offered to pay her what she would earn in a day so she could come. She agreed. But then she said she would meet us at the church and make her own way home, instead of us going as a three. And then when I just felt that was weird too, I expressed my concerns to my man and said that I wouldn’t go to the church and then he said he wouldn’t go to the church with his mother and that was a huge issue, she sent him paragraphs upon paragraphs of messages and was very unhappy about it. They didn’t speak for months, because of the church issue and other arguments they have had
E. I noticed that they don’t talk to each other via message anymore, and im wondering whether it is because of the profile picture and he said they just prefer to talk via the phone
F. Since then everything has been fine, but that is because he has stopped talking to his mother about our relationship and has kind of distanced himself from her. Also other things surrounding his family have come to light, I have found out that his mother doesn’t talk to any of her siblings she has 3 of them (for over 20 years) and has fallen out with most of her friends. She also had a bad marriage herself that ended in divorce. My boyfriend doesn’t talk to his older brother and hated his dad because of how he treated his mother. To the extent that, my boyfriend is biracial (half white) but refuses to acknowledge that he is white because of how much he hates his dad. His younger sister also has bipolar disorder and I am wondering if these things are genetic. I don’t know how comfortable I feel marrying into this family, what if his mother and I have a misunderstanding – will she stop talking to me for years? Will his little sister have an episode that puts a strain on our marriage?
G. The family also really, really depend on him. And I am concerned, if we do progress in our relationship and move to the next stage – how will they cope when he is gone, because I don’t want to share my husband. I wouldn’t want to be in a situation where he is being a husband in 2 households. There is nothing wrong with having a son who is a main figure in the house, but he really does play the son/husband role in their household.

2) appearance
Like I said earlier, he is a handsome
He is handsome but he isn’t exactly my type in terms of appearance and how I’d like our future kids to look

3) job
It was always my dream to marry a doctor, or someone really rich. Im not a gold digger, but like I said earlier, he is a provider. But he still lives at home. Im interested to know how much of a provider he could be for me and our future family when he is living alone 100% paying his own bills and mortgage, because his disposable income will go down. I feel like I’d feel more confident marrying someone who was living independently and able to fend for themselves 100%

thats another thing, his mother diddnt even want him to move out because he supports the family she wanted him to stay at home and help pay off her mortgage



i get the vibe that she feels im taking her man away

God punish u

Sxyhalima:
how?

Did you use Kayanmata on him?

[quote author=Persephone1 post=123697245][i]Relationship problem carry section 1 subsection A-G
Then section 2 and 3.

Wetin Marital issues go come carry?

Sxyhalima:
im in my late 20s my boyfriend is in his early 30s

he is a great guy, he earns a good amount, he has a good job, he is ambitious, he spoils me (buys me lavish gifts), he loves and supports his family, he cares for me when i am sick, he is intentional about me, he speaks multiple languages, he is educated, and more.. he is my perfect guy and he is so handsome too, i feel like i've hit the jackpot. he isn't perfect, but neither am i, but he has great potential.

i have 3 issues

1) his family

his mother, these are the issues that have happened

A. when he took me on our first trip abroad i sensed that his mother wasnt really in suport of it, which i understand. some mothers may not think it is wise to spend lavishly on a girl you have just started dating. Also, he started to use my picture as his display picture on imessage because he liked how I look, I also used his too. but then this happened.. his mother and his aunty held a family meeting with him and asked him why I am allowing him to control me and commented about the holiday and the display picture.
B. I kind of got the vibe that his mom wasn’t happy about the fact that he spent new years eve with me at a party as opposed to at home praying as usual with her
C. Valentine’s came and when the gift he delivered for me arrived, his mother (as a joke) asked “where are her gifts” and asked him why he doesn’t buy her gifts. And then she started enquiring on our valentines plans
D. She wanted her son (my boyfriend) to go to her with to a church to pray that the relationship is God’s will (she is very spiritual and goes to church every day) and when her son told me I thought it was weird. I have no issues with her going alone, or even him going alone, or us two going together, but the fact that she and him wanted to go I felt it was weird. So then I invited myself to come to the church with them and then as the day that I was able to come was a week day she said she had to go to work on that day. So that my boyfriend offered to pay her what she would earn in a day so she could come. She agreed. But then she said she would meet us at the church and make her own way home, instead of us going as a three. And then when I just felt that was weird too, I expressed my concerns to my man and said that I wouldn’t go to the church and then he said he wouldn’t go to the church with his mother and that was a huge issue, she sent him paragraphs upon paragraphs of messages and was very unhappy about it. They didn’t speak for months, because of the church issue and other arguments they have had
E. I noticed that they don’t talk to each other via message anymore, and im wondering whether it is because of the profile picture and he said they just prefer to talk via the phone
F. Since then everything has been fine, but that is because he has stopped talking to his mother about our relationship and has kind of distanced himself from her. Also other things surrounding his family have come to light, I have found out that his mother doesn’t talk to any of her siblings she has 3 of them (for over 20 years) and has fallen out with most of her friends. She also had a bad marriage herself that ended in divorce. My boyfriend doesn’t talk to his older brother and hated his dad because of how he treated his mother. To the extent that, my boyfriend is biracial (half white) but refuses to acknowledge that he is white because of how much he hates his dad. His younger sister also has bipolar disorder and I am wondering if these things are genetic. I don’t know how comfortable I feel marrying into this family, what if his mother and I have a misunderstanding – will she stop talking to me for years? Will his little sister have an episode that puts a strain on our marriage?
G. The family also really, really depend on him. And I am concerned, if we do progress in our relationship and move to the next stage – how will they cope when he is gone, because I don’t want to share my husband. I wouldn’t want to be in a situation where he is being a husband in 2 households. There is nothing wrong with having a son who is a main figure in the house, but he really does play the son/husband role in their household.

2) appearance
Like I said earlier, he is a handsome
He is handsome but he isn’t exactly my type in terms of appearance and how I’d like our future kids to look

3) job
It was always my dream to marry a doctor, or someone really rich. Im not a gold digger, but like I said earlier, he is a provider. But he still lives at home. Im interested to know how much of a provider he could be for me and our future family when he is living alone 100% paying his own bills and mortgage, because his disposable income will go down. I feel like I’d feel more confident marrying someone who was living independently and able to fend for themselves 100%

thats another thing, his mother diddnt even want him to move out because he supports the family she wanted him to stay at home and help pay off her mortgage



i get the vibe that she feels im taking her man away

Tell us what you are bringing the table, or are you just at the receiving end?
The guy is acting like someone under a spell, he couldn't spoil his mum, but he's busy spoiling his gf..

Nawa for some guys ooo..
Marriage only favors ladies.
Sex is the only thing you're offering him

he has now changed his plans and says he wants to live at home until marriage because things are expensive
can a man marry me if he still lives in his parents house

He’s definitely not the problem. You are. He’ll do well if you weren’t in his life

Sxyhalima:
im in my late 20s my boyfriend is in his early 30s

he is a great guy, he earns a good amount, he has a good job, he is ambitious, he spoils me (buys me lavish gifts), he loves and supports his family, he cares for me when i am sick, he is intentional about me, he speaks multiple languages, he is educated, and more.. he is my perfect guy and he is so handsome too, i feel like i've hit the jackpot. he isn't perfect, but neither am i, but he has great potential.

i have 3 issues

1) his family

his mother, these are the issues that have happened

A. when he took me on our first trip abroad i sensed that his mother wasnt really in suport of it, which i understand. some mothers may not think it is wise to spend lavishly on a girl you have just started dating. Also, he started to use my picture as his display picture on imessage because he liked how I look, I also used his too. but then this happened.. his mother and his aunty held a family meeting with him and asked him why I am allowing him to control me and commented about the holiday and the display picture.
B. I kind of got the vibe that his mom wasn’t happy about the fact that he spent new years eve with me at a party as opposed to at home praying as usual with her
C. Valentine’s came and when the gift he delivered for me arrived, his mother (as a joke) asked “where are her gifts” and asked him why he doesn’t buy her gifts. And then she started enquiring on our valentines plans
D. She wanted her son (my boyfriend) to go to her with to a church to pray that the relationship is God’s will (she is very spiritual and goes to church every day) and when her son told me I thought it was weird. I have no issues with her going alone, or even him going alone, or us two going together, but the fact that she and him wanted to go I felt it was weird. So then I invited myself to come to the church with them and then as the day that I was able to come was a week day she said she had to go to work on that day. So that my boyfriend offered to pay her what she would earn in a day so she could come. She agreed. But then she said she would meet us at the church and make her own way home, instead of us going as a three. And then when I just felt that was weird too, I expressed my concerns to my man and said that I wouldn’t go to the church and then he said he wouldn’t go to the church with his mother and that was a huge issue, she sent him paragraphs upon paragraphs of messages and was very unhappy about it. They didn’t speak for months, because of the church issue and other arguments they have had
E. I noticed that they don’t talk to each other via message anymore, and im wondering whether it is because of the profile picture and he said they just prefer to talk via the phone
F. Since then everything has been fine, but that is because he has stopped talking to his mother about our relationship and has kind of distanced himself from her. Also other things surrounding his family have come to light, I have found out that his mother doesn’t talk to any of her siblings she has 3 of them (for over 20 years) and has fallen out with most of her friends. She also had a bad marriage herself that ended in divorce. My boyfriend doesn’t talk to his older brother and hated his dad because of how he treated his mother. To the extent that, my boyfriend is biracial (half white) but refuses to acknowledge that he is white because of how much he hates his dad. His younger sister also has bipolar disorder and I am wondering if these things are genetic. I don’t know how comfortable I feel marrying into this family, what if his mother and I have a misunderstanding – will she stop talking to me for years? Will his little sister have an episode that puts a strain on our marriage?
G. The family also really, really depend on him. And I am concerned, if we do progress in our relationship and move to the next stage – how will they cope when he is gone, because I don’t want to share my husband. I wouldn’t want to be in a situation where he is being a husband in 2 households. There is nothing wrong with having a son who is a main figure in the house, but he really does play the son/husband role in their household.

2) appearance
Like I said earlier, he is a handsome
He is handsome but he isn’t exactly my type in terms of appearance and how I’d like our future kids to look

3) job
It was always my dream to marry a doctor, or someone really rich. Im not a gold digger, but like I said earlier, he is a provider. But he still lives at home. Im interested to know how much of a provider he could be for me and our future family when he is living alone 100% paying his own bills and mortgage, because his disposable income will go down. I feel like I’d feel more confident marrying someone who was living independently and able to fend for themselves 100%

thats another thing, his mother diddnt even want him to move out because he supports the family she wanted him to stay at home and help pay off her mortgage



i get the vibe that she feels im taking her man away