₦airaland Forum

qtguru:
Only he good ones suffer sexless marriages, based on observation.

So it's the good ones that go elsewhere for sex because of sexless marriages, no be bad guys dey cheat again? Wonders.

Marriage is OVERRATED

Jovialjune1:
So it's the good ones that go elsewhere for sex because of sexless marriages, no be bad guys dey cheat again? Wonders.

the opposite. A decent guy won't cheat in a sexless marriage.

qtguru:
the opposite. A decent guy won't cheat in a sexless marriage.

Lol, everyone is capable of cheating, what makes you think decent guys won't cheat?

Jovialjune1:
Why didn't you tell your parents to divorce themselves since marriage is overrated? or are you a product of baby mamaism?

Stop opening your maggot-infested Gutter-like thing u call mouth to spew trash

Jovialjune1:
Lol, everyone is capable of cheating, what makes you think decent guys won't cheat?

decent cheater, that's a new one, but no I'm referring to those who are not phased by sexless because of options.

Opanka44:
Stop opening your maggot-infested Gutter-like thing u call mouth to spew trash

Lmao the pains 😭

Answer na, your mama na baby mama or you come from a divorced parents home? Na simple question o lol 😆

MrBrownJay1:
all what you wrote is the result of anyone being in a long term r/ship...whether married or not. it is completely normal for people to be lazy after they said "i do" (or after dating for a few yrs)... after marriage, many feel that they dont need to woo nor do anything to conquer their partner any longer, as they are already married, so after marriage, they stop going on dates, they stop doing fun things etc. THIS IS A MEN AND WOMEN issue, and certainly not solely a women issue... get real! many men get tired of their wife/gf after a few yrs and the sex/attraction/Affection aint the same. this is called LIFE!!!! and someone who values more than just the sexual part of their union, will work through it to find ways to spice their union, spice their bedroom activities, spice their life with fun things again....while the lazy disrespectful ones will just go and look for other people to satisfy their needs.

BTW in Nigeria, i can find many benefit to marriage (for some men):
- your parents wont give you headaches no more and whine everytime you visit about "when yu gonna get married and give them grandchildren"
- your pastor wont look at you as a wasted seed
- your friends and acquaintances wont be looking at you as a failure because you aint married.... yes in Nigeria, anyone who aint married with kids, is seen as a failure.

as much as i dont believe in marriage, i understand that it makes sense to a lot of people out there... and to each their own!

A bottle of champagne for you MrBrownJ. Thing is not only men get tired of their partner shebi they say what's good for the goose is also good for the gander? Some men will be irresponsible and disrespectful towards their wife and children and still have the nerve to complain that the kids always favor their mother. When you treated your wife as nothing but an object to satisfy your sexual cravings and do not value or invest in your wife and kids but go about philandeering like a rabid dog without control, then if she's a good woman she suffers in silence all the mistreatment and maltreatment and turn to her kids for succour when the man is all washed up and old he'd still want his wife to be a faithful and loyal wife to nurse him for all the ways he wasted his life and the kids look to love him as father? Men the joke is all on y'all with the sick mentality of the Op. May you all find what is in y'all to wife or better still be baby mama for and leave good women alone for good men to marry.

See thread attached a result whether direct or indirect of the failure of a man in the home and society at large:

https://www.nairaland.com/7768515/ondo-secondary-schoolgirls-fake-kidnap

Some of this generation of men eh?
Tufiakwa! Y'all should go on with your stupidity and foolish mindsets dem no dey tell blind man say rain dey fall.

Advice from a married man:

Men should marry in their decline.(when ure a bit older ,weak and desire nothing much from life again)

Women marry in their decline when they've started loosing their physical essence and essentially tired of their single life after tasting different types of joysticks...

Men on the other hand marry when their value is increasing , financial stability with a good job or source of income , physically more appealing...

Its a poor transaction....

The current institution of marriage worked when ladies married as virgins , were more submissive and +/- polygamy was still acceptable...

But with the way the system has changed ,marriage is skewed or biased against men...

The only way to beat the system is for men to get married in their decline , get a baby mama or get married early and divorce early ( at least that will relieve you of the social stigma of being "irresponsible"

A man's decline usually starts from 45
While a woman's is from 25

thesicilian:
I read through your post 2 times to find fault in it but sadly enough I found none.

there is a fault somewhere ooo, when he type deline instead of decline

Jazmine10:
A bottle of champagne for you MrBrownJ. Thing is not only men get tired of their partner shebi they say what's good for the goose is also good for the gander? Some men will be irresponsible and disrespectful towards their wife and children and still have the nerve to complain that the kids always favor their mother. When you treated your wife as nothing but an object to satisfy your sexual cravings and do not value or invest in your wife and kids but go about philandeering like a rabid dog without control, then if she's a good woman she suffers in silence all the mistreatment and maltreatment and turn to her kids for succour when the man is all washed up and old he'd still want his wife to be a faithful and loyal wife to nurse him for all the ways he wasted his life and the kids look to love him as father? Men the joke is all on y'all with the sick mentality of the Op. May you all find what is in y'all to wife or better still be baby mama for and leave good women alone for good men to marry.

See thread attached a result whether direct or indirect of the failure of a man in the home and society at large:

https://www.nairaland.com/7768515/ondo-secondary-schoolgirls-fake-kidnap

Some of this generation of men eh?
Tufiakwa! Y'all should go on with your stupidity and foolish mindsets dem no dey tell blind man say rain dey fall.

very true.... actually i didnt want to mention the part where the OP claimed a child loved his mother more than father as this clearly showed the poor state of mind of the OP.
- OF COURSE, a child who spends more quality/free time with mama would favor his mother;
- OF COURSE, a child who has an emotional bond with mama (thank to women being more emotional beings) will favor mama;
- OF COURSE, a child who interacts very little with his father because daddy is too tired after work, would have a weaker bond with daddy;
- OF COURSE, a man who always wanna show this tough stand and never show emotions to children, will be viewed as tough guys who dont need love, even from their own children (you can only harvest what you planted);
- OF COURSE children have no filter and therefore they dont care about daddy paying the rent/bills and school fees (how would they even know about this?!) but instead they value WORTHY INTERACTION with their parents. expecting your child to love you more than mother because you paid the rent, the bills and school fees, shows us all the OP is still very immature!

...but the biggest problem here is when men use this as a tool to look down on women/marriage, while completely forgetting that (as a family) the above is irrelevant because you guys are a TEAM and so long as the kids are growing up to be fantastic adults, it doesnt really matter who gets more love (so long as you've done your part for the family). its obvious the OP doesnt see "family" as a team but instead as a competition between men and women.

BreconHills:
It is not a relationship issue it is a brain issue. The brain saves processing power by only paying attention to what is new, novel or dangerous. Who meditates on the wonders of their route to work ?
Unless the parties introduce newness into their relationship - it will become automated action.
I know a woman who started picking up her husband during some of his lunch breaks to go have sex in different hotels - to everyone their own.

But all usual actions are automated by the brain and this is hurtful to the feelings if others.

exactly... the brain has no gender, thus why this aint a woman nor a man problem, but a human being problem.

I agree with this post. I saw it firsthand in my marriage.
It doesn't matter what you do as a man, if you like treat her like a queen, give the best nacking, have the biggest gbola, she will still get tired of you and seek pleasure elsewhere, while not wanting to lose you.

It may sound messed up, but the solution is in actually showing that other females desire you. Its important she sees it firsthand, stop forming saint to her. You're making her irritated. Let her see classy ladies interacting with you. Let her worry she may lose you to some other woman.
If you don't make her worry, she will make you worry. Control of a relationship redounds to the person with the least commitment.

MrBrownJay1:
very true.... actually i didnt want to mention the part where the OP claimed a child loved his mother more than father as this clearly showed the poor state of mind of the OP.
- OF COURSE, a child who spends more quality/free time with mama would favor his mother;
- OF COURSE, a child who has an emotional bond with mama (thank to women being more emotional beings) will favor mama;
- OF COURSE, a child who interacts very little with his father because daddy is too tired after work, would have a weaker bond with daddy;
- OF COURSE, a man who always wanna show this tough stand and never show emotions to children, will be viewed as tough guys who dont need love, even from their own children (you can only harvest what you planted);
- OF COURSE children have no filter and therefore the dont care about daddy paying the rent/bills and school fees but instead they value WORTHY INTERACTION with their parents. expecting your child to love you more than mother because you paid the rent, the bills and school fees, shows us all the OP is still very immature!

...but the biggest problem here is when men use this as a tool to look down on women/marriage, while completely forgetting that (as a family) the above is irrelevant because you guys are a TEAM and so long as the kids are growing up to be fantastic adult, it doesnt really matter who gets more love (so long as you've done your part for the family). its obvious the OP doesnt see "family" as a team but instead as a competition between men and women.



exactly... the brain has no gender, thus why this aint a woman nor a man problem, but a human being problem.

Absolutely! Excellently articulated! Sadly not a large percentage of Nigerian men have your understanding!

ehilove123:
there is a fault somewhere ooo, when he type deline instead of decline

Lol. I don't mean typos, what I was implying is that he is 100% spot on.

Pukkalolo:
Right now, I want to ask you all this million dollar question:

What does a MAN actually benefit from marriage?


*cricket sounds*


No response I thought as much...

Well, let me help you answer it:

A man benefits literally NOTHING from marriage.

In reality, he actually 'lose' more.

Now, you may argue that he gain kids and affection from marrying....Duh!

Well, dickhead, he can as well get that from a baby mama or something.


It turns out that many kids prefers their mother than their father. The man provide for the kids and pay their school fees and sort the bills.... Despite that, the kids still love their mum than their dad.

Even you as a guy reading this now; Yes, YOU. I'm talking to you. I'm sure you love your mother more than your father.

If there's a conflict between your mother and father, chances are that you will stand with your mum. But guess what, Karma is real. Your kids will also stand with their mum when you have a conflict with your wife despite all your effort in training the kids and giving them good life.

So as we were saying: for men, there's no benefits from committing to a woman and getting married to her.

I saw a comic in a newspaper... The man who was about to get married was telling his buddies, "I'm so happy because once I get married, I can have sex whenever I want."

And the woman who was to marry the man was telling her females friends, "I'm so happy because once I get married, I'll never have to have sex again."

It was intended for comic relief, but they were indirectly expressing the sad reality of many marriages... Many men are in a sexless marriage, and it's not even funny at all.

Men and women love need sex...but women need sex in a different way than men do.


The biggest problem is the unrealistic view women have about marriage. They view marriage as the final bustop. Once they finally wear the wedding rings, the Job is done. She feels she can now misbehave.

Her misbehavior won't start immediately. After you marry her, in the first few months or years, the sex is always fantastic: she'll seemed very willing and receptive towards the sex.

But sooner than you think, she'd start turning down the man sexual attempt for flimsy excuses like “i am tired” or “i dont have the mood now” or other very humiliating bullshit excuses.


Here's the bitter truth most men won't want to swallow:

Women don't respect a male commitment "after" she has gotten it.

You can argue with me, get agitated and gnash your teeth over it...but that's just the bitter truth.

Look, she gets bored with male commitment 'after' she has gotten it. She no longer feel the need to be at her best behavior because she has already gotten what she want most in the man--wedding ring.


Basically, the moment you marry her is the very moment her attraction and desire for you begins to drop.

The very thing makes the man appealing to a woman is the fact that she's working hard to get him to commit.

It's the "uncertainty" and the not being sure if the man will put the ring on her finger is what makes him desirable to her.

When the man finally marry her, he's no longer a challenge for her to keep working hard to impress....so she starts to lose desire for him.

In her mind she's like, "Why should I keep working hard to impress him when the job is already done?"

As a result, the woman's interest in sex gradual deline with time. She starts to feel bored with the sex.

Women will NEVER admit this but that's the truth. Infact, don't listen to women on this subject.

Men should stop being weak and sentimental. Marriage is the best gift a woman can get from you. You're doing her a BIG favor by marrying her, so getting sex from her is non-negotiable. If she refuse to give you sex for flimsy reasons, then withdraw your commitment immedately.

Marriage has always been for women. Getting married to her is a huge sacrifice you are making for her... So If she get bored with giving you sex, you should also get bored with giving her your commitment.

Stay blessed brothers.

True talk. No wonder Annie idibia started misbehaving after 2baba tied the knot.

No wonder temi otedola still dey gum body for Mr eazi as that one refuse to tie him own knot over 10years now

Ff

Pukkalolo:
Right now, I want to ask you all this million dollar question:

What does a MAN actually benefit from marriage?


*cricket sounds*


No response I thought as much...

Well, let me help you answer it:

A man benefits literally NOTHING from marriage.

In reality, he actually 'lose' more.

Now, you may argue that he gain kids and affection from marrying....Duh!

Well, dickhead, he can as well get that from a baby mama or something.


It turns out that many kids prefers their mother than their father. The man provide for the kids and pay their school fees and sort the bills.... Despite that, the kids still love their mum than their dad.

Even you as a guy reading this now; Yes, YOU. I'm talking to you. I'm sure you love your mother more than your father.

If there's a conflict between your mother and father, chances are that you will stand with your mum. But guess what, Karma is real. Your kids will also stand with their mum when you have a conflict with your wife despite all your effort in training the kids and giving them good life.

So as we were saying: for men, there's no benefits from committing to a woman and getting married to her.

I saw a comic in a newspaper... The man who was about to get married was telling his buddies, "I'm so happy because once I get married, I can have sex whenever I want."

And the woman who was to marry the man was telling her females friends, "I'm so happy because once I get married, I'll never have to have sex again."

It was intended for comic relief, but they were indirectly expressing the sad reality of many marriages... Many men are in a sexless marriage, and it's not even funny at all.

Men and women love need sex...but women need sex in a different way than men do.


The biggest problem is the unrealistic view women have about marriage. They view marriage as the final bustop. Once they finally wear the wedding rings, the Job is done. She feels she can now misbehave.

Her misbehavior won't start immediately. After you marry her, in the first few months or years, the sex is always fantastic: she'll seemed very willing and receptive towards the sex.

But sooner than you think, she'd start turning down the man sexual attempt for flimsy excuses like “i am tired” or “i dont have the mood now” or other very humiliating bullshit excuses.


Here's the bitter truth most men won't want to swallow:

Women don't respect a male commitment "after" she has gotten it.

You can argue with me, get agitated and gnash your teeth over it...but that's just the bitter truth.

Look, she gets bored with male commitment 'after' she has gotten it. She no longer feel the need to be at her best behavior because she has already gotten what she want most in the man--wedding ring.


Basically, the moment you marry her is the very moment her attraction and desire for you begins to drop.

The very thing makes the man appealing to a woman is the fact that she's working hard to get him to commit.

It's the "uncertainty" and the not being sure if the man will put the ring on her finger is what makes him desirable to her.

When the man finally marry her, he's no longer a challenge for her to keep working hard to impress....so she starts to lose desire for him.

In her mind she's like, "Why should I keep working hard to impress him when the job is already done?"

As a result, the woman's interest in sex gradual deline with time. She starts to feel bored with the sex.

Women will NEVER admit this but that's the truth. Infact, don't listen to women on this subject.

Men should stop being weak and sentimental. Marriage is the best gift a woman can get from you. You're doing her a BIG favor by marrying her, so getting sex from her is non-negotiable. If she refuse to give you sex for flimsy reasons, then withdraw your commitment immedately.

Marriage has always been for women. Getting married to her is a huge sacrifice you are making for her... So If she get bored with giving you sex, you should also get bored with giving her your commitment.

Stay blessed brothers.

men dont like bonding with their kids. Trust me those kids are not stupid. I provide for my family as well as serve as a house husband. I take my kids to playground and not one single man is there. I stroll my kids along the street and men give me dirty look, women same. They would be like were is the mother. My toddler doesnt even allow his mum carry her. He calls me mummy and daddy.
Please, wear the woman's shoes for one day and you would change your persepxtive.
Women care more about their kids than anything. Sex is the last thing on their mind. If you make life easy for a woman by supporting her she would beg you for sex. Know this and know peace.

donkripton:
True talk. No wonder Annie idibia started misbehaving after 2baba tied the knot.

No wonder temi otedola still dey gum body for Mr eazi as that one refuse to tie him own knot over 10years now

misbehaving how?
She has 3 or 4 kids to look after, that is hard work.

wonder233:
I agree with this post. I saw it firsthand in my marriage.
It doesn't matter what you do as a man, if you like treat her like a queen, give the best nacking, have the biggest gbola, she will still get tired of you and seek pleasure elsewhere, while not wanting to lose you.

It may sound messed up, but the solution is in actually showing that other females desire you. Its important she sees it firsthand, stop forming saint to her. You're making her irritated. Let her see classy ladies interacting with you. Let her worry she may lose you to some other woman.
If you don't make her worry, she will make you worry. Control of a relationship redounds to the person with the least commitment.
Don't be that person fellas

then you married a hoe. A good man would appreciate the good things you do for her.

Your comment is confusing.
About marrying a hoe and a good woman that you mentioned:
There is no correlation between the two. Goodness is a quality of the heart, it has nothing to do with sex. A hoe could do the most charitable work that a sexually chaste person could never find in their hearts to do. It is the mentality that a "good woman" will never undermine you that misleads many men into putting up with what OP mentioned in the writeup.
Learn today, that if you don't constantly psychologically checkmate your female, she will definitely go astray.
Then, all you will say in disbelief is "I thought she was a good woman!

jesmond3945:
then you married a hoe. A good man would appreciate the good things you do for her.

wonder233:
I agree with this post. I saw it firsthand in my marriage.
It doesn't matter what you do as a man, if you like treat her like a queen, give the best nacking, have the biggest gbola, she will still get tired of you and seek pleasure elsewhere, while not wanting to lose you.

It may sound messed up, but the solution is in actually showing that other females desire you. Its important she sees it firsthand, stop forming saint to her. You're making her irritated. Let her see classy ladies interacting with you. Let her worry she may lose you to some other woman.
If you don't make her worry, she will make you worry. Control of a relationship redounds to the person with the least commitment.


Don't be that person fellas

Spot on @ bolded

wonder233:
Your comment is confusing.
About marrying a hoe and a good woman that you mentioned:
There is no correlation between the two. Goodness is a quality of the heart, it has nothing to do with sex. A hoe could do the most charitable work that a sexually chaste person could never find in their hearts to do. It is the mentality that a "good woman" will never undermine you that misleads many men into putting up with what OP mentioned in the writeup.
Learn today, that if you don't constantly psychologically checkmate your female, she will definitely go astray.
Then, all you will say in disbelief is "I thought she was a good woman!

Fact... God bless you for this.

jesmond3945:
If you make life easy for a woman by supporting her she would beg you for sex.

Brother, you are wrong about this

Before I wrote this post, I interacted with quite a number of married men about their experiences. A lot of men are very supportive of their wives but they still experience this sexless problem regardless.

The root problem is that, the woman has become "comfortable" and sees no need to 'please' the man sexually.

Being supportive of her is very good. I know that. But the main advice I give this men is to ignite the tension and get her a bit 'worried' that she might lose you if she doesn't behave right towards you.

After I teach them how to accomplish that, most of them often write me back, telling me how their wife have improved in their behavior.

Pukkalolo:
Right now, I want to ask you all this million dollar question:

What does a MAN actually benefit from marriage?


*cricket sounds*


No response I thought as much...

Well, let me help you answer it:

A man benefits literally NOTHING from marriage.

In reality, he actually 'lose' more.

Now, you may argue that he gain kids and affection from marrying....Duh!

Well, dickhead, he can as well get that from a baby mama or something.


It turns out that many kids prefers their mother than their father. The man provide for the kids and pay their school fees and sort the bills.... Despite that, the kids still love their mum than their dad.

Even you as a guy reading this now; Yes, YOU. I'm talking to you. I'm sure you love your mother more than your father.

If there's a conflict between your mother and father, chances are that you will stand with your mum. But guess what, Karma is real. Your kids will also stand with their mum when you have a conflict with your wife despite all your effort in training the kids and giving them good life.

So as we were saying: for men, there's no benefits from committing to a woman and getting married to her.

I saw a comic in a newspaper... The man who was about to get married was telling his buddies, "I'm so happy because once I get married, I can have sex whenever I want."

And the woman who was to marry the man was telling her females friends, "I'm so happy because once I get married, I'll never have to have sex again."

It was intended for comic relief, but they were indirectly expressing the sad reality of many marriages... Many men are in a sexless marriage, and it's not even funny at all.

Men and women love need sex...but women need sex in a different way than men do.


The biggest problem is the unrealistic view women have about marriage. They view marriage as the final bustop. Once they finally wear the wedding rings, the Job is done. She feels she can now misbehave.

Her misbehavior won't start immediately. After you marry her, in the first few months or years, the sex is always fantastic: she'll seemed very willing and receptive towards the sex.

But sooner than you think, she'd start turning down the man sexual attempt for flimsy excuses like “i am tired” or “i dont have the mood now” or other very humiliating bullshit excuses.


Here's the bitter truth most men won't want to swallow:

Women don't respect a male commitment "after" she has gotten it.

You can argue with me, get agitated and gnash your teeth over it...but that's just the bitter truth.

Look, she gets bored with male commitment 'after' she has gotten it. She no longer feel the need to be at her best behavior because she has already gotten what she want most in the man--wedding ring.


Basically, the moment you marry her is the very moment her attraction and desire for you begins to drop.

The very thing makes the man appealing to a woman is the fact that she's working hard to get him to commit.

It's the "uncertainty" and the not being sure if the man will put the ring on her finger is what makes him desirable to her.

When the man finally marry her, he's no longer a challenge for her to keep working hard to impress....so she starts to lose desire for him.

In her mind she's like, "Why should I keep working hard to impress him when the job is already done?"

As a result, the woman's interest in sex gradual deline with time. She starts to feel bored with the sex.

Women will NEVER admit this but that's the truth. Infact, don't listen to women on this subject.

Men should stop being weak and sentimental. Marriage is the best gift a woman can get from you. You're doing her a BIG favor by marrying her, so getting sex from her is non-negotiable. If she refuse to give you sex for flimsy reasons, then withdraw your commitment immedately.

Marriage has always been for women. Getting married to her is a huge sacrifice you are making for her... So If she get bored with giving you sex, you should also get bored with giving her your commitment.

Stay blessed brothers.

I love your posts but this particular one is bullshit. This might be correct but it doesnt work like that for everybody. . . you might actually be the reason why she is not giving you sex

GingerbreadMen:
This guy is not lying.
Women do have everything to gain from marriage, and women know this but will never admit it. Men on the other hand, have very little to gain from marriage. Someone would like to argue that children and commitment are things men would benefit from marriage but how is it a benefit if you can still have both of them when you aren't married.
Also, when you consider the belief system of the type of females we have nowadays, you would realize that marriage might just be dead or a very bumpy ride at best 😤
It is very demotivating honesty!

Some men are actually the one gsining from their marriage. This submission is too myopic

Bukky001:
Some men are actually the one gsining from their marriage. This submission is too myopic

Read your submission bro, yours is even more myopic

skj1377:
Make her jealous. Dress like your going to a party with nice perfume 3 times a week and come home by 10pm. Watch her reaction.they hate competition

THIS SEEMS DANGEROUS, A JEALOUS WOMAN CAN KILL U IN YOUR SLEEP.