₦airaland Forum

Quality20:
I hope I can some northern folks to help me analyse n dissect this pls.

Solofresh2:
Their religion is what keeps them from it

purples25:
Why should they engage in it? So they can fall for the same snares and misfortunes involved, and the same men would still insult them for it?

The result speaks volumes, after refraining from premarital relationships, at least they are more respected.

whippersnapper:
despite the fact islam abhors premarital relationship it helps in getting to know your partner better before going the nuptial way, red flags, ailments, sexual compatibility, secrets and all. I cannot meet you today because i love you then plan to marry you tomorrow. maybe thats why there are so many divorce cases among them

whippersnapper:
despite the fact islam abhors premarital relationship it helps in getting to know your partner better before going the nuptial way, red flags, ailments, sexual compatibility, secrets and all. I cannot meet you today because i love you then plan to marry you tomorrow. maybe thats why there are so many divorce cases among them

purples25:
Eh, then in the dating, sex will enter. Then the man will have the upper hand as the woman is emotionally tied. Is that not it?! Then after eating to his fill, the man will STILL be 'contemplating' whether he wants the lady or not, right? Treating her anyhow, she has no pride or power, she has to wait until our lordship deems it fit if he wants her or not, despite having a good use of her body. Then pregnancy and abortions or a hurried marriage, all indignities on the woman, enter.

See, that dating is only profitable to men. They can use every trick to manipulate women. They can treat the lady and her family any which way after impregnating her. They can use so many women and get so drunk on sex that they come out here to call them names. It made women so available, so easy and cheap for them. Why won't men call women whores when they don't have to work for them? They don't have to be on their best behavior, till their father in law's land or anything. All they have to do is to be visiting eateries and romantic spots with her. Afterwards sleep with her, then start calling shots on the emotionally bound woman. No wonder many men have ditched marriage! No wonder women are valueless, begging these irresponsible men up and down for marriage, accepting anything just to be married! Because dating has made women so plentiful and easy for men.

Dating is only an avenue to use and abuse women to stupor.

kkins25:
I like you! Are you insinuating that I approach your father without having to deal with you in person first? Your father has the first and final say?

With dating, you have option to choose. With our olden days method, all i had to do was impress your daddy with many tubers of yam. If we check the timeline, it seems women are doing way better than before. Go to somalia where some women have their vaginas sewed until marriage. E go shock you!

purples25:
Here is the process I support. I don't support oppression of women. I support going to the family first. The family then asks the girl if she likes him and wants a brief courtship before marriage. If girl agrees, then the lady and man go on a few dates. On those few dates, ranging from a few months to a year, they will both always be accompanied by a family member or more. The dates must hold in safe public spaces. They will not be let totally out of sight, so that the man does not take advantage of the woman sexually. Within that time, family dates will also enter. Let the two families go out and see if they gel on some joint family outings.

If all goes well, then marriage will be set. The observation period, decently arranged by both families, should normally not exceed a year. If both parties agree, marriage happens. No one loses.

kkins25:
I like you! Are you insinuating that I approach your father without having to deal with you in person first? Your father has the first and final say?

With dating, you have option to choose. With our olden days method, all i had to do was impress your daddy with many tubers of yam. If we check the timeline, it seems women are doing way better than before. Go to somalia where some women have their vaginas sewed until marriage. E go shock you!

Pinkdimples:
Approaching a father first isn't a bad idea per say. Married as a pure virgin,never dated him,after meeting parents, traveled back to base,spoke on phone (Was giving first phone in entire life cos of him,for easy communication) do traveled down to visit,and the times spent has never been in a descret place,married and living happily and can never wish for better,14 yrs and still counting. Always prayed for parents for the good home training and decent life. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

kkins25:
what is your background? On a larger scale, considering the belief system and culture, do you think this favors women in general? I'm only curious for a healthy discussion. I'm glad it turned out great for you!

purples25:
Eh, then in the dating, sex will enter. Then the man will have the upper hand as the woman is emotionally tied. Is that not it?! Then after eating to his fill, the man will STILL be 'contemplating' whether he wants the lady or not, right? Treating her anyhow, she has no pride or power, she has to wait until our lordship deems it fit if he wants her or not, despite having a good use of her body. Then pregnancy and abortions or a hurried marriage, all indignities on the woman, enter.

See, that dating is only profitable to men. They can use every trick to manipulate women. They can treat the lady and her family any which way after impregnating her. They can use so many women and get so drunk on sex that they come out here to call them names. It made women so available, so easy and cheap for them. Why won't men call women whores when they don't have to work for them? They don't have to be on their best behavior, till their father in law's land or anything. All they have to do is to be visiting eateries and romantic spots with her. Afterwards sleep with her, then start calling shots on the emotionally bound woman. No wonder many men have ditched marriage! No wonder women are valueless, begging these irresponsible men up and down for marriage, accepting anything just to be married! Because dating has made women so plentiful and easy for men.

Dating is only an avenue to use and abuse women to stupor.

Fredoh:


Another perspective!!
We see life through our own lenses!!

I on the other hand think that women use relationship to get money from men, to the point of asking their boyfriends to do what they can’t ask their fathers.

To be honest, it’s a combination of both. Life is not a straight line graph!

kkins25:
The girl is the one agreeing to go on the date. Therefore the responsibility of her safety rests solely on her.

1) If you go on a date to a public and safe space, you cannot be sexually taken advantage of. My "bestie" fell for this trap and paid the price. Although I didn't scorn her for it. She was dealing with someone who had power over her, since, he was her lecturer after all.

2) Choose the venue. The venue should be where you're familiar with and probably have a friend or family member follow you undercover.

3) Never go on a date with someone whose background is oblivious to you. Thank God for social media. Check their friends list, their kinds of posts, etc.

4) Connect with several acquaintances of the guy. Have pictures of him(A must).

5) If you cannot find anything about the guy online, then abandon date. Simple!

purples25:
Your friend fell into the lecturer's trap because she had no one escorting her. Even if you had tailed her, you would've gotten her out of that situation.

Not every girl can survive the wiles of guys, same for guys. Responsible escorts will keep conversations and actions at a reasonable level.

purples25:
Let's not act like girls are so so smart that they can always handle everything alone. Millions of smart people get scammed every day. Men get scammed. Millionaires get scammed.

Pinkdimples:
North! 🙄 Well, personally I think and see it favors women most or let me just say it favours both. But those who wants to turn out wild and bad will still do,it all depends on mindset and how well you were trained with the fear of God in you.

Yes,it favours me and I couldn't have ask for a better one. He mould me to the woman I am today,trained me to his satisfaction and still training me (I mean character wise) He's a man of principles and we understand each other so well. It's very obvious he appreciates and adores me because I actually became a full-grown woman under his roof and I really appreciate him for that.

TotoGame:
Bunch of Hypocrites, No Premarital relationship but little girls hawk toto like gala over there in the north

kkins25:
If the girl will agree to date the guy, fine. But, this isn't a fair world. Some live only to fulfill the wishes of others.