₦airaland Forum

I wonder how couples allows issues to get to stage of going physical on each other. Always have your best wedding pictures hung in your living rooms and bedroom. It brings memories of happy times when you gaze at the picture of both of you smiling at each other on that very day. It helps to ward off distrust and hatred. That's what I come to realize, at least in my own marriage.

Being an Optometrist doctor, the woman may be higher than him in social standing. This is one of the worst nightmares of some men - common with men from my part of the country with inferiority complexes, if his education is limited. Something that men should be proud of, and see as a blessing that they have a professional woman as wife. But, no! To some, it is a threat to their unfounded fears and egos. Looking at the man's picture, you could tell his kind of person. I am not exonerating the wife but being cool and resilient under serious provocation by your wife is not a sign of weakness but a greater sign of maturity.

My wife usually comes back to apologize whenever she gets me upset and I "failed" to react negatively. She would apologize deeply, pamper me well and tried to regig the union. But anytime I reacted harshly, she distances herself. We should all endeavour to understand our spouses, especially how to press their " mumu button" to get what we want and have a stable union.

Nigeria, as it is now, is difficult and, every body is angry; some transferring the anger to their supposedly loved ones at home.

FireUpNow:
This is very sad na. As a man if your wife is misbehaving to you, kindly talk to her or better still wear your clothes and go to see a friend to calm down then you can come back to the house. Fighting is not an option. Think about your kids and the good things your have done and been doing. I feel very sad. Say no domestic violatence.

What you say is for simps....

Why leave your own house to cool off...and for how long will you do that? Forever? Because she will keep doing it. You need to put ya foot down and take charge.

descartes400:
Supposing is the woman that Jack the husband's shirt thereby not giving him the opportunity to leave the house leading to a scuffle why trying to extricate himself?

I know one who jacked up her husband blokos( scrotum) . He almost passed out.

onumadu:
Somebody's daughter wasted just like that.
Do you know how hard it is to train a girl child to become a doctor?
Why do some men kill their wives for heaven's sake?
If the marriage went sour, why not divorce?
Some marriages are not meant to be, and some attractions are FATAL.
I keep advising anyone planning to marry to test his or her would-be spouse on JEALOUSY and POSSESSIVENESS.
The more jealous and possessive a spouse is, the more dangerous that spouse tend to be.
Avoid such people like plague, and NEVER believe that they can change.
Now she is dead. Everything has become irrelevant.
LEAVE AN INCOMPATIBLE MARRIAGE FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
And NO, it cannot be salvaged!

Good, you are right about this in marriage ... But many of you still believe in one Nigeria marriage which of course is inimical and not compatible which also can't be salvaged.

adeblow:
From looking at his face, u already know he's a womanizer? Haa

No be them dey sleep with married men? Who should know a womanizer more than such women?

Optometrist.
That very big job in the west.
They make load of money.

We always made jest of an uncle that studied the course abroad.
But I went to see one in europe, what I saw surprised me.
One has to pay over seventy euros to see him, and it about twenty minutes at most to check you.
I met three patient there, and four patients arrived when I was there.

ChngedChnges:
You should be ashamed of yourself. If her certificates reads OD which i found out to be Doctor of Optometry what are you now ranting about? If people with PhD bear the title and you don't complain what more of someone with it stated in his cert?
I think this is why the Nigerian healthcare is in shambles. Leaving CPDs and opportunities to meet up to the trending global standard in healthcare and be fighting over titles .
I think this is one of the reasons our Nigerian Doctors are screened and rescreened again before allowing to practice in other countries.
The average blackman is striving for just 2 letter abbreviations while his value and competence keeps decreasing. Who do us this thing for God's sake

I'm not in the health sector but what that guy wrote is true. An Optometrist is a not a medical doctor.

Our Nigerian doctors are doing wonders abroad stop the jealousy.

Anywhere in the world you want to practice and you didn't train there you must be screened to obtain their licence, like going from china or UK to the USA. You must be daft not to know this

Again stop the jealousy for those guys

Alliswell248:
"Bad boy".
It is against the scripture to camp with side chick.
What about those of us without side chicks?

Then just find someone who gives you peace o bro. Don't die of Hpb because if woman frustrate u ehn nobody go tell u.

Nkemgboye:
Husband should face maximum punishment if indeed he killed his own wife but how does this killing become an association issue,'toriOlorun? Are these associations not getting themselves dragged into domestic issues unconnected to their professions? Did the husband murder the wife, presumably, because she was an optometrist? I think lines need to be drawn on some of these issues before associations find themselves fighting off a side chick on behalf of their female member o! 🙄

Once again, I condemn in strongest terms possible the homicide performed by the husband against his own wife, if indeed he did it! 😕🤨😐

Your own dey your body😂😂😂😂
But you said the bitter truth

immortalcrown:
Domestic violence is always deadly. RIP to the deceased. May the man get the legal treatment he deserves.

Both of them look very stubborn, but the man body go don cool down now...
No dey follow women fight , them get bad mouth naturally.

FireUpNow:
This is very sad na. As a man if your wife is misbehaving to you, kindly talk to her or better still wear your clothes and go to see a friend to calm down then you can come back to the house. Fighting is not an option. Think about your kids and the good things your have done and been doing. I feel very sad. Say no domestic violatence.

Don't kindly talk to her o. Just hand her over to the parents. Na shame go reset her brain. It happened to my neighbor. The woman's family came with her to settle the marriage. Today they are love birds buh I no no wetin dey happen inside house o

If the marriage dey toxic, simply walk away.

jconsulting:
This one has allowed devil to use him, if your wife provokes you to the extreme just leave the house and camp with your side chick......

I lie?

My brother! Women are terrible beings. Now no one care to know what happened between them,its the husband that is guilty. In all relationship matters, men are the blame Carrier. The unfortunate aspect of it is that we cannot do without them, they are men's major problems. Marriage is not by force.Let the sleeping dog lies.

Chimarto:
That organisation just concluded that she was killed without telling us what happened.

It's likely to be cheating on the side of the deceased

Even the educated are affected. Speak out.

blamingthedevil:
https://dailytrust.com/optometrists-rise-in-defence-of-murdered-colleague-ask-igp-to-speed-up-prosecution/?utm_term=Autofeed&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Twitter#Echobox=1691440617

Men should try to stop fighting with tier wife physically. If you're tired, divorce her, marriage is not by force.

freddie009:
We have good guys but no they see them are less dominant, weak men. They want hard men, that would put them on their toes, guys that go to clubs, love to have fun.

Confused gender, they want good guy with a bad boy vibes since that doesn't exist they end up goin for bad boys.

Some people may think you sound harsh and insensitive but this your post is exactly my opinion, these women do not know what they deserve, I'm pretty sure a nice guy came around but she rejected him on the grounds of wanting bad boy vibes. The moment I read the word scuffle, I knew something was off. Why on earth will a sane woman struggle or have a scuffle with a man as if she's an equal to the man? Sensible ladies run away the moment a man goes physical, then again I'm forced to ask what could have provoked the man to go physical, we all know these women have sharp mouth they can't control. It's just sad

May we not find ourselves in such situation ... So many people are in it and even reading the stories but are helpless

Unfortunately, marriage does have some terrible outcomes!

so far, human beings have not yet found a way to resolve conflict between men and women according to the nature of the genders.
Men resort to physical strength to resolve conflict while women depend on emotional and verbal confrontation to resolve conflict.

A woman will verbally inflict hurt on a man but the result of her violence is invisible to the eye while a man will physically inflict hurt on a woman and the result is always visible.

Both physical and emotional violence are as we all know, equally deadly with only different speed of manifestation.

For me as a man, I will and do try my best to avoid a verbally and emotionally violent woman and I strongly advice women to avoid any physically abusive man in a relationship.

The good thing is that in both cases, there is usually a red-flag before full manifestation but what a tangled web we weave when we conspire to conceive.

It takes two to tango. Whilst it is advisable for the man to show restraint so also does it apply to the woman.

immortalcrown:
Domestic violence is always deadly. RIP to the deceased. May the man get the legal treatment he deserves.

Not always.

But it's a terrible thing

It can happen either ways. I was in distraught inside one helluva arrangement of contraption called marriage before. She could have killed me if I hadn't borrowed myself brain.

Today, she is still insulting me while I don't even know she's existing. She couldn't believe how I did it. I just took a duck out of sight. Went underground for some time to make other plans for another wife while she was struggling with chairs, generator and washing machine. Mtcheeew.

Eye Don see! But we thank God.

APOPTOSIS:
I deeply sympathetise with her family over this avoidable carnage & death . People should be taught to know when to run way with their lives intact.
Leaving your marriage is not a recipe for disaster.
No one on this planet has ever been reported to have died as a result of being SINGLE.
Avoid any form of Toxic Relationship, not even the one coming from your spouse or sibling.

By the way, she is not a Medical Doctor...
She's an Optometrist
An optometrist is completely different from an ophthalmologist who happens to be the Medical Doctor.
Optometrist acquired an O.D.
Ophthalmologist acquired MD, M.B.,B.S, or M.B.,B.Ch
Nigerians should learn the right terminologies & observe the distinguishing features especially when paramedics & allied medical staff come close to try deceiving them.

Same goes to Nigerian Optometrists who always want to be addressed as surgeons. Please stop distorting an already distorted nation only to continue blaming Buhari/Tinubu.

Again, people should be proud of their courses of study. After all, no single Medical Doctor has made it to the Aso Villa as President or the table of world's Billionaires meanwhile, others have.

where in the post was she referred to as a medical doctor? Please refer me to where an Optometrist claims to be a Surgeon?
By the way the Dr title isnt an exclusive right of medical Doctors.
Optometrists are licensed professionals with a Doctor of Optometry degree which every Optometrist is proud of and your opinion on who should or not use the Dr doesn't count

IbnB:
You're missing the point. They found a way to award themselves 'O.D' qualification because they cherish the title of 'Doctor So-and-so' they feel it confers on them. It's a whimsy most Nigerians suffer from. Some of them go to USA and target the 'J.D.' degree of lawyers in that clime, because they wanna come back to Nigeria & be addressed as 'Doctor'; meanwhile, holders of that qualification out there are not addressed as such,it's simply a professional qualification

And it's super-ironical that even here in naija, our medical doctors (whome we address as 'Doctor', actually posseess double Bachelors' in medicine and surgery respectively, as opposed to an M.D.

But now, pharmacists even are swinging for a basic professional degree of Pharm.D as opposed to B.Sc Pharm, just so they can be addressed as 'Doctor', just like these optometrists. No Nigerian feels safe in their own skin without a bombastic-sounding professional title anymore. These things wont stop until the focuse is more on actual value-added as opposed to how successful one is at gaming the system😄

In your hurry to sound intelligent by putting down professionals, you shot yourself in the foot

Who told you Pharm.D, O.D, etc, are solely for the purpose of bearing the title Dr?!! Not like it's anyone's business if someone chooses titles over proficiency.

Those are not mere titles... Those degrees are earned by healthcare workers who have spent time learning clinical best practices. They are recognized as such abroad. Matter of fact, that's the trend globally.

That said... Why the fuss about a mere title?!! Why the pettiness?!! Anyone can bear any title he likes, it doesn't translate to actual practice, wages, or certificate.

I think it's only here in this 4th world nation, such nonsense happens, where people are petty and overprotective of mere titles. It's also seen among our lecturers. Lol.

I know exceptionally gifted surgeons abroad who don't even use the Dr title at all... I have young learned Professors in U.S who despise the title and never use it.

These people are secure in their learning and proficiency.

Imagine a thread about a sad demise of a healthcare colleague suddenly became a fucking dick-measuring contest among you unreasonably arrogant medics... So sad and shameful.

UbongCR7:
May her soul rest in peace and may the perpetrators be brought to book.

To the poster, optometrists are not medical doctors, same way a PhD does not also translate to being a medical doctor.

Where in the post was an Optometrist referred to as a medical doctor?

optm:
where in the post was she referred to as a medical doctor? Please refer me to where an Optometrist claims to be a Surgeon?
By the way the Dr title isnt an exclusive right of medical Doctors.
Optometrists are licensed professionals with a Doctor of Optometry degree which every Optometrist is proud of and your opinion on who should or not use the Dr doesn't count

Don't mind these people...

It's only among low self-esteem and petty Nigerians you see such nonsense.

Even Veterinarians are fully addressed as Drs abroad... Try it here in this third world nation, and see our esteemed and all-knowing physicians embark on indefinite strikes.

Angelfrost:
In your hurry to sound intelligent by putting down professionals, you shot yourself in the foot

Who told you Pharm.D, O.D, etc, are solely for the purpose of bearing the title Dr?!! Not like it's anyone's business if someone chooses titles over proficiency.

Those are not mere titles... Those degrees are earned by healthcare workers who have spent time learning clinical best practices. They are recognized as such abroad. Matter of fact, that's the trend globally.

That said... Why the fuss about a mere title?!! Why the pettiness?!! Anyone can bear any title he likes, it doesn't translate to actual practice, wages, or certificate.

I think it's only here in this 4th world nation, such nonsense happens, where people are petty and overprotective of mere titles. It's also seen among our lecturers. Lol.

I know exceptionally gifted surgeons abroad who don't even use the Dr title at all... I have young learned Professors in U.S who despise the title and never use it.

These people are secure in their learning and proficiency.

Imagine a thread about a sad demise of a healthcare colleague suddenly became a fucking dick-measuring contest among you unreasonably arrogant medics... So sad and shameful.

Walahi if only they could stay in the clinic and observe what these professionals do in order to have a sound opinion.
Most times, it's young medical docs that are inexperienced and young in practice that carry those kind of talks around.
Soon they ll be more focused on relevant issues than titles

UbongCR7:
May her soul rest in peace and may the perpetrators be brought to book.

To the poster, optometrists are not medical doctors, same way a PhD does not also translate to being a medical doctor.

I didn't see anywhere she was addressed as a Medical Doctor (M.D)... Maybe you can point it out.

In case you are confused... The title Dr is not exclusively reserved for Medical doctors anywhere in this universe.

So, your last paragraph is petty, misguided, and shockingly puerile.

As long as the certificate presented to them reads Doctor of Optimetry, they are doctors. Not all doctors are medical doctors, point of correction.quote author=APOPTOSIS post=124958245]I deeply sympathetise with her family over this avoidable carnage & death . People should be taught to know when to run way with their lives intact.
Leaving your marriage is not a recipe for disaster.
No one on this planet has ever been reported to have died as a result of being SINGLE.
Avoid any form of Toxic Relationship, not even the one coming from your spouse or sibling.

By the way, she is not a Medical Doctor...
She's an Optometrist
An optometrist is completely different from an ophthalmologist who happens to be the Medical Doctor.
Optometrist acquired an O.D.
Ophthalmologist acquired MD, M.B.,B.S, or M.B.,B.Ch
Nigerians should learn the right terminologies & observe the distinguishing features especially when paramedics & allied medical staff come close to try deceiving them.

Same goes to Nigerian Optometrists who always want to be addressed as surgeons. Please stop distorting an already distorted nation only to continue blaming Buhari/Tinubu.

Again, people should be proud of their courses of study. After all, no single Medical Doctor has made it to the Aso Villa as President or the table of world's Billionaires meanwhile, others have.[/quote]

luminouz:
What you say is for simps....

Why leave your own house to cool off...and for how long will you do that? Forever? Because she will keep doing it. You need to put ya foot down and take charge.

In a bid to sound 'redpillled', you just made your self look so stupid. Guy you're more than 30 yrs old and you're still this foolish?
Common sense no just dey your head.

APOPTOSIS:
I deeply sympathetise with her family over this avoidable carnage & death . People should be taught to know when to run way with their lives intact.
Leaving your marriage is not a recipe for disaster.
No one on this planet has ever been reported to have died as a result of being SINGLE.
Avoid any form of Toxic Relationship, not even the one coming from your spouse or sibling.

By the way, she is not a Medical Doctor...
She's an Optometrist
An optometrist is completely different from an ophthalmologist who happens to be the Medical Doctor.
Optometrist acquired an O.D.
Ophthalmologist acquired MD, M.B.,B.S, or M.B.,B.Ch
Nigerians should learn the right terminologies & observe the distinguishing features especially when paramedics & allied medical staff come close to try deceiving them.

Same goes to Nigerian Optometrists who always want to be addressed as surgeons. Please stop distorting an already distorted nation only to continue blaming Buhari/Tinubu.

Again, people should be proud of their courses of study. After all, no single Medical Doctor has made it to the Aso Villa as President or the table of world's Billionaires meanwhile, others have.

Thanks for the enlightenment, since I was born I have never seen anybody that's addressed as a male nurse..... Nigerians see all male nurses as doctors.

Focusmind:
I wonder how couples allows issues to get to stage of going physical on each other. Always have your best wedding pictures hung in your living rooms and bedroom. It brings memories of happy times when you gaze at the picture of both of you smiling at each other on that very day. It helps to ward off distrust and hatred. That's what I come to realize, at least in my own marriage.

Being an Optometrist doctor, the woman may be higher than him in social standing. This is one of the worst nightmares of some men - common with men from my part of the country with inferiority complexes, if his education is limited. Something that men should be proud of, and see as a blessing that they have a professional woman as wife. But, no! To some, it is a threat to their unfounded fears and egos. Looking at the man's picture, you could tell his kind of person. I am not exonerating the wife but being cool and resilient under serious provocation by your wife is not a sign of weakness but a greater sign of maturity.

My wife usually comes back to apologize whenever she gets me upset and I "failed" to react negatively. She would apologize deeply, pamper me well and tried to regig the union. But anytime I reacted harshly, she distances herself. We should all endeavour to understand our spouses, especially how to press their " mumu button" to get what we want and have a stable union.

Nigeria, as it is now, is difficult and, every body is angry; some transferring the anger to their supposedly loved ones at home.

Your assertion is greatly flawed. It's on record that many women can't manage success hence the gory stories of women misbehaving the moment they feel they earn more than the man or have better social standing due to their profession. Naturally women marry up and men marry down, a man that goes ahead to marry a woman who is ahead of her in education and economically is indirectly plotting the downfall of his marriage. Like it or not women are feel bigger than their husband find it extremely difficult to submit to them.

I'm sure you have read stories of naija women who changed the moment they travelled to the western world, these are women who were once the apple of their husband's eyes.

I repeat many women do not know how to manage success. Men should marry a woman they are bigger than, if you end up marrying a woman that is bigger than you economically and educationally yet you expect her to submit you must be dreaming.