UnfairLife7:
The man deserves more than that. He has been without job for 2 years and all he could do was to drink, smoke, destroy his wife stuff and even went as far as hitting her.

I am a man and i will keep saying it, we men can't take half of what we dish out to women.

These same men cannot try all these nonesense in developed countries. Naija na shithole truly. Too many things wrong about the country

Kobojunkie:
So why exactly do you feel guilty for having him arrested for 2 days? Would this all had gone better if he had taken to smashing your head after smashing everything else?

Now that you are obviously aware the man has taken to acting out violently, don't you think it makes sense at this point to distance yourself and your kids from him instead of worrying whether he is in speaking terms and if he has eaten or not? Please, separate yourself from that man asap. The space might do him a whole hell of good..

UnfairLife7:
you go sleep for cell tire. You try any shit related to domestic violence. Even your neighbours will help her out free of charge.

LilMissFavvy:
Well spoken. I am surprised that people are saying she has lost her husband, my question is, what is good about a man who lacks money, character, and also beats his wife? As long as OP continues to pamper that man, he will continue to do worse. If she was the type of woman who starves him of food and nags* daily about his joblessness, he wouldn't try that nonsense*.

Persephone1:
May we not marry a boy man

Dear Op, my people have an adage it is: Aiki lo kabo ile ejo , ka tun sore. It means we don't come back from court to become friends. Arresting your husband may be right or wrong but what happens when he is released?
If you were arrested as a wife, will you be happy with your husband and let everything go back to normal when you are released?
Especially in this part of the world.

If you still want a happy marriage after a dispute, police station should not be an option. In the sight of the law, you are right but culturally you are not.

Get elders to speak to him, I hope he listens. May God help you. This matter deep i can't think straight self : D

thesicilian:
A man can feed his family for years and no one will hear about it. He's often proud to bear the responsibility. But the moment a woman starts bearing the responsibility, all hell must break loose, sooner or later

Dogalmighty17:
You arrested and lucked up your husband for 2 days? No one is dumb here ma. No right thinking woman just suddenly locks up her husband. Was there food in the kitchen for him when he came home? Did you cook for yourself and just the children?

There are other crises resolution and mediation channels available to resolve issues within spouses. Did you explore any of them?

You most probably had nurtured this thought of locking your husband up for a while. You also most probably have mocked him in your actions and your words.

Madam, you don buy market o! I assure you of this, your husband will never forgive you. The day that man gets a job and finds his feet you will be the one begging for divorce.
But then, a man cannot keep wallowing in self-pity and depression in the name of job loss. In what ever you do in life, just have it in mind that you are a nobody and anything can happen to anyone at anytime. Job loss doesn't mean the end of the world, life must continue, you must look for any other thing to do and help your wife keep the family running. That a man works to keep the family running is how he has been raised and made to believe and perharps, how a man is built to function. The family must run whether you have a job or not, your children must feed, they don't take any excuses and bills must be paid. So, a man should not allow depression get hold of you because you lost your job, some men never had a 'job' in their life time and they have kept it going.
Locking up your husband for 2days is crazy! Really crazy!! I hope you guys resolve your issues. Women are not just too good at financing the house without adverse reactions.

I am not making excuses for him. Your husband is going through serious depression. No man wants to not be able to provide for his family. The present economy doesn't help at all. You could have handled the situation better.

Dogalmighty17:
You arrested and lucked up your husband for 2 days? No one is dumb here ma. No right thinking woman just suddenly locks up her husband. Was there food in the kitchen for him when he came home? Did you cook for yourself and just the children?

There are other crises resolution and mediation channels available to resolve issues within spouses. Did you explore any of them?

You most probably had nurtured this thought of locking your husband up for a while. You also most probably have mocked him in your actions and your words.

Madam, you don buy market o! I assure you of this, your husband will never forgive you. The day that man gets a job and finds his feet you will be the one begging for divorce.
I am not making excuses for him. Your husband is going through serious depression. No man wants to not be able to provide for his family. The present economy doesn't help at all. You could have handled the situation better.

maasoap:


With time, he will get over it. Even he himself will do introspection and realise that he deserved the treatment. Beating, destroying and talking trash. And if he doesn't get over it, it will still be his loss, majorly.

capnies:


THE SAME DEVELOPED COUNTRIES THAT YOU CAN'T TELL WHO'S A MALE OR FEMALE ON THE STREETS, ABEG SPARE US THAT NEOCOLONIAL THINKING. DO YOU KNOW THAT IN AMERICA ABOUT FIFTY WOMEN ARE SHOT AND KILLED MONTHLY BY THEIR HUSBANDS, BECAUSE OF THE STUPID LAWS THAT HAS MADE THEM HEADY.

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

OZIOGU1:


😂 are my neighbours living with me in my personal house? Forget this story Men dey, wey women no fit try some shit with, I bet you , any atempt by my wife to raised her voice on me, I will end the shit call marriage Asap....African/Nigerian women with entitlement mentality

UnfairLife7:
i guess you live inside underground? Go and ask some Men that their neighbours got them arrested over domestic violence. They will tell you how their neighbours got to know

Africa/Nigerian women yet you run after them like your life depends on it. Dey play.

OZIOGU1:
Too many baby mamas on this faceless forum, they support Thier own, in my next comment I will mention Thier name.....Wife material don finish for Nigeria.

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

OZIOGU1:


I run after them coz, the only thing they can offer is S*x and nothing more, more also they need my cool cash na 😜

Samantha124:
Well, what he did was unlawful and if you ask me, you did the right thing by getting him arrested.

Let it be a warning to him that next time you wouldn't be lenient on him.... You can apologize to him for getting him arrested, but let him know that you don't appreciate what he did to you and you're not going to stand for it if he continues with his behavior.

It's not your fault that he lost his job and can't find another one.

BRATISLAVA:


Preach.

The extent they can go to justify their proclivities in others is an eyesore. Imagine where they feel he has a reason for beating her, yet they don't feel he should be imprisoned, because hurting another person against the law is not a big deal? Even if he killed her you would still read that type of daft comment.

The way some people have integrated into society is worrisome.

talented321:
Beating u up is a big time fuckup'' but you arrest him because u are doing better than him' if not there would have been another method to settle the issue''
Your husband don't have work at the moment and he is traumatized' it is not easy for a man who was once feeding the family and having some cash to spend to depend on a woman for survival''
Your husband may forgive u but i don't think he will forget the incident in a hurry' because it sound like an oppression to him''
You are in best position to arrange ur house''
Something might be right in ur hand but depend on the action u take, you will be blamed at the end'''

fxexperts:
Abeg na where all this useless men dey see this kind good woman dey marry abeg,

Verokeena:



I have never ever nortured such thought.. I have endured countless insults and provocations..

What else could I have done.. ? Like I said I regret my actions but I just wished he had never touched me or raising his hands to the kids.. saying he doesn't even know if the kids were his.. since he lost his job it has been one issue to another.. but I try to see through his eyes .. to understand what he is going through..

I do not have excuse for my actions.. I just need a solution

Thanks for your contributions anyways

superemmy:
It's a clear case that your husband is going through depression and transferred aggression.

You should have just left the house for him with your kids to stay with your parents.
Laslas you don show am say you get power with the arrest. I can't judge you though...

But the man will never forget it.
I can't say whether the arrest is right or wrong. We live in an era where spouses kill each other.

Just understand he is frustrated...

shantti:


If a man arrests his wife cos she assaulted him, will u support that?

UnfairLife7:
I guess responsible Men are extremely much? Keep deceiving yourself