₦airaland Forum

who do you think you are?

beekind:
I am in my mid 30s, very comfortable and a dual citizen of Nigeria and a first world country.
I decided to relocate back to Nigeria because of starting a family and having my own children.
Since arriving the country and based on my experiences so far, my plans have changed.

I decided to first focus on having children as I found out that the Nigerian society has become almost worse than the west in terms of sexual debauchery.
People have sex for indomine, girls commit abortion without remorse, the worst thing is that no one here uses protection and by the time your average Nigerian girl reaches 30 years old, she has aborted 4 times, slept with almost 100 men and contacted several stds in the process.

What this means is that disciplined men like me are left with these category of girls, worst still is that they come very entitled and empty and can even ruin you with their lifestyle as they are usually impossible to reform.

Solution:
I had to go back to the drawing board and re-evaluated my plan, I have an ex-girlfriend (29 years old) whom I am very close with. She fits the bill in terms of who I want as a life partner but she is a single mother.
So I gave her a choice.

Have 2 children for me, those 2 children will automatically become dual citizens and I might consider marrying you and adopting your child but even if I don't marry you, your 2 children that you have by me will be taken care of and being dual citizens of a developed country they can turn to a blessing for you and your whole family in future.

Now, let me explain, I still love this lady and my decision was premised on how uncertain I am of what my choice will be in the future as such I wanted to be very open from the beginning, but even at this point, I can not guarantee I will marry her but I could depending on what happens in future.

She's going to give me a feedback later and I am quite positive she will take the offer.

If it were you faced with this option, what would you do ?

beekind:
Thousands of people some with even better life than most are dieing on the seas attempting to become illegal immigrants in Europe.

I bet more than half of those on this platform will give an arm and a leg to be able to wash toilets in North America.

While there are obviously other advantages to it like the possibility of marriage(although not guaranteed).

The prospect of dual citizenship is enough considering the alternative and the reality on ground.

Bro in terms of your "deal" lets break it down
You get:
1. Children (which you want)
2. The absence of a partner that could wreck you
3. Marriage (maybe)
4. Offspring that could be assets to you and your family

She gets:
1. offspring that could be assets to her and her family
2. marriage (maybe)
3. Lack of worry about upkeep for her children born to you ( not upkeep for herself or the other child as per your stated proposal).
Is there anything else I missed?

Objectively I don't see this proposal as worth it.
1 her having 2 kids for you without the guarantee of marriage drastically reduces her eligibility for marriage if you fail her, most people will view her the way you have viewed other females and promiscuous having children from different men without being married and as such assume she has bad character and is good for nothing beyond sex

2. She would have the strain on her body mental health, carrying 1 child I'm sure you've already seen certain differences in her physiology, 2 more? Mileage will be way up, plus the strain of raising 3 kids without the presence and help of a father... All in hopes they will be assets to her .. in my opinion not worth it

3. She has a constrain on her time for her own personal development. You aren't providing the comfort and shelter of marriage, she needs to better herself so at least equip herself economically, which two children out of wedlock will hold her back from, we as men all say no man wants a liability, you in my opinion gave her the option to choose to be a liability in hope of marrying you or a liability that the children will change her fortunes... Which is a 50-50 chance.. I'm not going to go into that.

So my dear bro... Think about it, is it worth it in her opinion if she is "objective" , you know her better than anyone here

Hmmmn. Let me just keep my mouth off.

beekind:
I have never seen this kind of response in forums in the western world, part of the reason we are a third world country is that people are unable to articulate themselves objectively.
What is the point of this emotional rebuttal.

If someone gives my sister that option, its her choice not mine and I wouldn't feel anything since shes not being coerced, shes being given an option which she can choose to accept or reject.

As a matter of fact, it is better to meet someone who is honest from the get go about what he wants than to marry, abandon the lady and travel back abroad which a lot of Nigerian men do , they leave their wives here and refuse to sponsor her abroad.

So me putting all my cards on the table is a sign of integrity in case you do not realise that.

I don't see anything fucking special with your dual citizenship

There are good hearted men out there

If you are not ready to marry and be responsible

Park well... Dual nonsense

God please, give me just 1 daughter IJN. Just 1, i don't need more than 1. I weep on her behalf.

row2ray:
Bro in terms of your "deal" lets break it down
You get:
1. Children (which you want)
2. The absence of a partner that could wreck you
3. Marriage (maybe)
4. Offspring that could be assets to you and your family

She gets:
1. offspring that could be assets to her and her family
2. marriage (maybe)
3. Lack of worry about upkeep for her children born to you ( not upkeep for herself or the other child as per your stated proposal).
Is there anything else I missed?

Objectively I don't see this proposal as worth it.
1 her having 2 kids for you without the guarantee of marriage drastically reduces her eligibility for marriage if you fail her, most people will view her the way you have viewed other females and promiscuous having children from different men without being married and as such assume she has bad character and is good for nothing beyond sex

2. She would have the strain on her body mental health, carrying 1 child I'm sure you've already seen certain differences in her physiology, 2 more? Mileage will be way up, plus the strain of raising 3 kids without the presence and help of a father... All in hopes they will be assets to her .. in my opinion not worth it

3. She has a constrain on her time for her own personal development. You aren't providing the comfort and shelter of marriage, she needs to better herself so at least equip herself economically, which two children out of wedlock will hold her back from, we as men all say no man wants a liability, you in my opinion gave her the option to choose to be a liability in hope of marrying you or a liability that the children will change her fortunes... Which is a 50-50 chance.. I'm not going to go into that.

So my dear bro... Think about it, is it worth it in her opinion if she is "objective" , you know her better than anyone here

You speak so cleverly and objectively.

Teleprompter:
You speak so cleverly and objectively.

Thank you

Westerhoffe:
That's one problem with people like you…
You just comment trash thinking you're making sense.
Can you idiotically classify the points and reasons, situations and circumstances that can make any girl/lady/woman become a single mother, even with the possibilty of her being decent, and raised with high moral standards?

You added 'promiscuity' just to savor your comment, but still, can't you see you just sound stupid as even the OP didn't mention that yet about her?

Do you even know what your sisters do in the secret?

Come, don't make me ram at you tonight.

A decent girl will avoid unwanted pregnancy. A decent girl with high standards should know what Exactly does she need and what is good for her. Rather than having an unwanted pregnancy and still claiming decent. She's a single mother!

beekind:

I have never seen this kind of response in forums in the western world, part of the reason we are a third world country is that people are unable to articulate themselves objectively.
What is the point of this emotional rebuttal.

If someone gives my sister that option, its her choice not mine and I wouldn't feel anything since shes not being coerced, shes being given an option which she can choose to accept or reject.

As a matter of fact, it is better to meet someone who is honest from the get go about what he wants than to marry, abandon the lady and travel back abroad which a lot of Nigerian men do , they leave their wives here and refuse to sponsor her abroad.

So me putting all my cards on the table is a sign of integrity in case you do not realise that.

This type of response is a summary of the golden rule.

Rhozabeth:
1. The fact that u have dual citizenship makes nonsense if the situation!
2. You are talking likry noonyr ever stays in Nigeria and make it. The way u were emphasizing 'dual citizenship' is very irritating
3. You belive that you are her track to success, damn it, u are not! Its just that these girls have head but they rarely use it!
4. You are not the best thing that has ever happened to her, get that straight.

Sorry if I offend anyone with this post. The Op sounded very irritating! Even though am a man, I never look down on single mothers. They also never wished they were in that position! He did in his post.

You didn’t offend anyone with your post.
Your post is on point.
As a matter of fact, it is OP’s post that is offensive.
Why everything that is spelled West has to exploit poor African? OP is unable to get himself a lady is the West but he comes to Africa flashing his dual citizenship to exploit vulnerable women

Persephone1:
Nigerian women don suffer

Aswear