₦airaland Forum

VeeVeeMyLuv:
But she revealed that he does partime work which is seasonal

Romans 5:8-10 King James Version (KJV)
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.

If God did not give up on humanity despite their shortcomings

Then it is only fair that we give the family another chance at redemption

My brother/sister, it is better to be single and live a meaningful life than to be married and live a miserable life. She is not a rehabilitation centre biko.

Jewessgratitud3:
She should wait until the family squatting them sends them away again? Haaa.. that's what I don't even want them to experience and that's why I'm saying he should look for a place instead bringing his fan and television to another man's house to feel comfortable. The man and the wife are already asking when they are leaving. This is why I even brought it here because I've told my sister that her husband is not ready to even shake body. He's like that. So she should get an apartment fast before those ones change am for them. I don't know what she's too is waiting for.

My brother, if you meet this guy you go wooz am better slap by the time you hear what is coming out of his mouth.

The other day after him and my sister had a quarrel about what's the next move, he was saying ehn.. no body is disturbing them here. Really?? Now he travelled the so called friend came and started asking why are this people still here.

She needs to talk to his relative about their current situation. She doesn't have to paint him bad to his people but they need to how is handling things

Oluwadarasimi19:
The fact is, women know these good guys. They are in their dms. They've been friendzoned.

You're familiar with their game 👍

Oluwadarasimi19:
Na women dey call other women pick mes. Women and labels na 5 and 6.

It's the manifestation of the inherent jealousy traits. Most women will have at least a bit of it.

It is what it is.

Jewessgratitud3:
Exactly. He'll drag her down like he did before that her school now collapsed. All the money she was making from the school she was using to cater for him and their first child then.

Imagine, whenever he runs out before the children comes back from school so they won't meet him at home, its my sister they'll come and meet. Only that afternoon and night feeding alone gulps her pay from one school. It's with agidi she'll now try to save from other monies coming from other schools. Still...

I'm not even talking of toiletries and their clothes that she caters for. He will only come back at midnight with one small thing and give three of them to share. Will she be looking at them throughout that afternoon and night without giving them something? And people are here saying he's feeding them. That one na feeding? Abi because I no wan talk?

I've told her. If she likes let her stay there.

I know people like that in real life in the extended family. They never want to work but like to spend money. I have one in the early forties and the other one late thirties. All married with kids and have never worked in their lives. I wonder what the women see in men like that.
I found a job for one and he refused to go, I asked him to go learn a trade and I will finance and he refused.
He just want sleep and beg for money.
I blocked him, his wife and children. I don't even take their calls anymore as i despise willfully lazy men who would not take care of their families.

Luckysbab:
You're familiar with their game 👍

Yeah

Luckysbab:
It's the manifestation of the inherent jealousy traits. Most women will have at least a bit of it.

It is what it is.

Hmm

Kobojunkiee:
That movie is based on a real life atory.

K, I will see the movie

Jewessgratitud3:
See them. Na them.

Ogar, no body is painting anybody bad. It's simple let him go and work and leave that squatting zone. Even my father that had all six of us never had cause to squat us in another family house. My father at 70 was still going out to work after his retirement just to avoid storiesthat touch and we his lovely daughters took after him in that hustling spirit. No room for laziness in my family.

LOL...Let's hear from the man. One sided story is always sweet. .Iranu

ThatFairGuy1:
They're not strong

Is it what I'm thinking

That and many more

kernniejay:
You brought this kind of issue that requires wisdom and maturity to a place like Nairaland which is full of riffraffs and good-for-nothings and you except to have sensible and reasonable comments? You are joking. People that are worse than that your sister's husband are more than responsible people on Nairaland. You can see for yourself the kind of stupid comments they have been making, some even calling you names.
My own advise is very simple, your sister should cut ties with that liability of a husband with no future and face her life and her children. Your family can return whatever bride price he paid to tie your sister down and file for divorce if she did a registry wedding. The more she stays with him, the more he complicates the journey of her life and the life of the children.

My brother, I know not everyone here is mentally ok. No be today I know them . Then there are some like you who are sane and I'll still gain from and thats why I brought it here.

Thanks for your candid advice .

Hmmmm

Jewessgratitud3:
How you take know ? @ bold.

We were discussing about getting an apartment and she mentioned one money she has that she has told him to go and look for the apartment that the she'll use the money. I now asked her, you want to pay for the apartment he's going to look for? she now changed it immediately that he's the one paying. I asked her, why are you then mentioning your money inside.

My dear... I won't be surprised if she pays and allows him into the house. I won't be surprised.

If anything happens to you God forbids, that your sister will choose the husband over you.

It is a selfish world and I have learnt to take care of myself first before I think of others

Think9ja:
Women generally make poor choices when it comes to men. Tall, dark, handsome and can fvck well is not enough to marry a man.
You will hear men talking about wife material. Hardly will you hear women talking about husband material. Their own is whether he has money and is tall and dark.

God go help una.

you will say SOME WOMEN. Not women generally.actually you're right but even when women set their own standards Na Una go say she's making unrealistic demands, faithful men do not exist.now people like obasolomon are enforcing this belief.if women say they want a good man, Solomon will say bolotife ri okunrin to da? Impressionable women who hear that will begin to believe that good men don't exists and will begin to settle.

Even the one who even has reasonable standards, people will gaslight her and pressure her to lower her standards if she wants to see a man so what are you saying? The point is society has made women believe that they should not even have standards at all,as long as you love him or he loves you just marry him.nollywood and Yorubawood makes it worse.they make it look like as long as he's buying you gifts,that's all that shows he's a husband material and if you say no, you want to check other factors, family, friends and church/mosque members no go gree you hear word.

albert2512:
She needs to talk to his relative about their current situation. She doesn't have to paint him bad to his people but they need to how is handling things

Which relatives? The ones that he has insulted with his arrogance?

Ok let me shock you.. it's just that I don't want to be giving the whole thing in details for security purpose.

That night this thing happened one of cousins came with his car immediately as he heard and offered to take them to his place because he has a very big house and wanted to give them one of the guest rooms. He said no way! Is it today he's been calling the guy for help. My sister said he was now saying see this small boy of yesterday wants to habor him and his family that he should go he doesn't need his help anymore. Shooo

I now said the boy prolly didn't answer then because he didn't feel he needed the help at that time but now he felt the help will be more useful that's why he came. Abi the boy no get him own family wey he go attend to wen he go come dey answer all your SOS calls? I was mad. He's so arrogant and proud yet he no get sense.

Sheybi he's now quarrelling with the woman squatting them that the woman should allow his children free hand around the house that he doesn't like his children being oppressed . I say for person house again?just because the woman told the children to sit in one place. Hmm..

Na person wey no know am go dey hold brief for am.

Skyview01:
I know people like that in real life in the extended family. They never want to work but like to spend money. I have one in the early forties and the other one late thirties. All married with kids and have never worked in their lives. I wonder what the women see in men like that.
I found a job for one and he refused to go, I asked him to go learn a trade and I will finance and he refused.
He just want sleep and beg for money.
I blocked him, his wife and children. I don't even take their calls anymore as i despise willfully lazy men who would not take care of their families.

Na you really understand wetin I dey talk here. That's their life.

Skyview01:
If anything happens to you God forbids, that your sister will choose the husband over you.

It is a selfish world and I have learnt to take care of myself first before I think of others

Eh.. I'm not killing myself over their matter o. If I talk small, I rest. What's my own.

Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.

The guy is not the problem but your sister. Marriage doesn't change anybody.

I don't know why most Nigerian ladies like to born like pig. You made mistake initially, why not go to health center and do family planing to prevent having more children apart from one. That guy knows he is an animal and he will never change.

Fighting and making babies at thesame time

Let her deal with the issue herself since everyone advised her and she refused

[quote author=Jewessgratitud3 post=126108458]He does one part-time business that doesn't sell all the time like that. I think that's how he gets his money but it's not like a regular job that brings in steady money. Instead of him to go look for a regular job that he's sure of getting money every month, he'll rather sleep all through.

I've told my sis to advise him to get a Keke or car for Uber, she said he'll be forming a whole lawyer. Lawyer for this hard time that every body is doing any kind of hustle to put food on the table for their family? Hian!

Even me as a lady I have thought of riding danfo a long time ago when I didn't have anything doing. Nothing wey no come my head that period until I now prayerfully asked God to direct me and lead me to the path I am today. It wasnt rosy at first cos I was earning 18k then but I continued just to be leaving the house and from there I continued till I got here. Why will a man not use his brain and do same?
i like you.

Well that's very wrong perception.

It isn't about the complexion

Jewessgratitud3:
That and many more

ThatFairGuy1:
Well that's very wrong perception.

It isn't about the complexion

Ok.

Jewessgratitud3:
Which relatives? The ones that he has insulted with his arrogance?

Ok let me shock you.. it's just that I don't want to be giving the whole thing in details for security purpose.

That night this thing happened one of cousins came with his car immediately as he heard and offered to take them to his place because he has a very big house and wanted to give them one of the guest rooms. He said no way! Is it today he's been calling the guy for help. My sister said he was now saying see this small boy of yesterday wants to habor him and his family that he should go he doesn't need his help anymore. Shooo

I now said the boy prolly didn't answer then because he didn't feel he needed the help at that time but now he felt the help will be more useful that's why he came. Abi the boy no get him own family wey he go attend to wen he go come dey answer all your SOS calls? I was mad. He's so arrogant and proud yet he no get sense.

Sheybi he's now quarrelling with the woman squatting them that the woman should allow his children free hand around the house that he doesn't like his children being oppressed . I say for person house again?just because the woman told the children to sit in one place. Hmm..

Na person wey no know am go dey hold brief for am.

His case might be spiritual.

Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.

Your sister should go ahead, rent an apartment and move in with her kids because she definitely can not leave her children behind. But she should never make the mistake of letting her husband move in.

dangotesmummy:
you will say SOME WOMEN. Not women generally.actually you're right but even when women set their own standards Na Una go say she's making unrealistic demands, faithful men do not exist.now people like obasolomon are enforcing this belief.if women say they want a good man, Solomon will say bolotife ri okunrin to da? Impressionable women who hear that will begin to believe that good men don't exists and will begin to settle.

Even the one who even has reasonable standards, people will gaslight her and pressure her to lower her standards if she wants to see a man so what are you saying? The point is society has made women believe that they should not even have standards at all,as long as you love him or he loves you just marry him.nollywood and Yorubawood makes it worse.they make it look like as long as he's buying you gifts,that's all that shows he's a husband material and if you say no, you want to check other factors, family, friends and church/mosque members no go gree you hear word.

Society is not a big factor. I know it's a factor but not a significant one. Just like for men, your ability to be a bad guy (clubbing, drinking and smoking) is what attracts women you. Personally, I don't do that and I don't care, if and when I decide to do those stuff, it's because I want to, not because I want to attract any woman. God go help una for una choices for men but I see more women making more terrible choices when it comes to settling down.

It is well

Think9ja:
Society is not a big factor. I know it's a factor but not a significant one. Just like for men, your ability to be a bad guy (clubbing, drinking and smoking) is what attracts women you. Personally, I don't do that and I don't care, if and when I decide to do those stuff, it's because I want to, not because I want to attract any woman. God go help una for una choices for men but I see more women making more terrible choices when it comes to settling down.

It is well

I Will not be part of the women that will make foolish choices when it comes to men in Jesus name amen

dangotesmummy:
I Will not be part of the women that will make foolish choices when it comes to men in Jesus name amen

I hope and pray so, but.....
God go help una

dangotesmummy:
I Will not be part of the women that will make foolish choices when it comes to men in Jesus name amen

Just be very careful. Know where he works. See his certificates if he says he graduated. I know men that are dropouts who lied to their wifes.

Visit his office to know his work colleagues. Know his brothers and sisters, their careers and what they do.
Understand his habits and how he spends his time. Ask him the hard questions. You must date expensively.
People don't change and whatever you see him do now is what he will do in the marriage.

How does he teat people around him. Kindness is a bigger quality than love in a relationship. Love is an emotion which may fade over time while kindness is a trait that never goes away.

Otulented:
I can see you have no manners, I guess you're not married up till now . Because of your bad behaviour.

get out. Idiot supporting rubbish

ozoono:
yes I am, but with eat, I am still fucking ur fish smelling pussy

do you suck puci

GO0DHardDick:
Are you a male or female?

Besides you're saying rubbish.

You rejected him initially and dude went for your sister who opened her legs wide for him. So why are you complaining? Madam allow your sister to enjoy her marriage in peace. While she was living with you and your family she has been knacking that guy. So which one is your own inside?

you are a buffoon