₦airaland Forum

Tallesty1:
Alright.


But for the sake of yarns, what would a Nigerian man who doesn't have this archaic mentality but ends up with this type of woman do in a situation like this?

If you still want to be with her then have a heart to heart talk about how you perceived her character during those trying times. (Hopefully you were not a big part of her change in character cos many men frustrate their families when they go broke) If she repents then don't bear grudges but be very aware of your financial spending. Start a new chapter. Look for means to diversify income so that if something like this happens again it won't be too bad.

Fahvvy:
This scenario you just described accurately tells the story of how most women are ...

And it's so unfortunate that men realize this way too late ...

Men listen!
Your respect in the eyes of 99% of "your beloved wives" is tied to your ability to provide, lose this ability and watch your "loving wife" become your worst night mare ...

The truth about the average woman is that, They are incapable of loving a man GENUINELY ...

If there's nothing to gain from you, be it time and attention or resources, then they have no business with you, talk more of respecting you ...

@OP...
I won't quit the marriage ...
She may have been a bad wife, but if she's been a good mother, then there's no way I'm depriving my kids of their mum ...

But one thing is for certain, from that day onwards we'll only be roommates at best ...

I cried

📌📌

ArcSEMPECJ:
@ OP.....is a natural issue once the ice leaves a man and comes to the wife.....

To me, marriage is between four people ....

Your God
You
Your Wife
Your marriage ( children, etc)

Is your God first before your Wife and marriage ......

So Pls always discuss with your God about your marriage and your Wife...... especially if your wife is not connecting to you about the marriage.....

You get the point now??

There is no woman that won't change attitude once the table turns against you the husband...

Also every woman is proud seeing her husband or man or even boyfriend provide for the family ....is just few that can remember the good old days of where you and your God stood for her and your marriage .....

So to me, life goes on, she stays once I bounced back , I don't care what my wife says or bring to the table, I look up to God to provide for me for my wife and for the marriage which is the Family .....

Life should go on pls...be closer to your God this time life has turned to favour you....

God is only warning you that you have to look , trust and seek him first for your happiness in your marriage and not to your wife first....

Your wife is a human being, she is born to disappoint one or two times .....she is no perfect human....

I 💖 this.

Tallesty1:
I just watched a clip that inspired this post.

Imagine this scenario.......

You are married to a beautiful woman, and you have like three kids. It is a beautiful family, really.

You have a nice house, a good ride, beautiful children, always selfie-ready wife, and salary alerts keep coming. Then life happens, and you start losing things until nothing is left. No salary, no more savings, and you're officially wiped out by poverty.

Your wife has something she does for a living, makes her own money, and does whatever it is that women do with money. You never cared because you were doing okay, but now the tides have turned.

Naturally, you expect her to provide support while you work harder to regain your footing. But what you are getting from her is something you never knew she was capable of: insults upon insults, disrespect, and all. This lasts for a year or two.

Then, fortune smiles on you again and you get back on your feet. As usual, there is money now, and your wife is the woman you married at first. She is loving again, respectful, and caring.

I want to know, will you still go back to loving her like before, as if the past two years' experience never happened, or are you going to quit?

None of the above. Don’t Quit. And Don’t love Her like before. Love her differently by loving yourself first. Love Her with the knowledge that Her love is yet to mature. Love Her in a way that you can tell Her this without bitterness. Love her in a way that Her lack of love will not make you love yourself less.

ALFADOS:
please elaborate on roommates at best please

No conversation outside the kids...
No request outside that of the kids...
No attention to give save the kids...

Anything that doesn't concern the children in that family, doesn't concern me ...

Fahvvy:
■ No conversation outside the kids...
No request outside that of the kids...
No attention to give save the kids...

Anything that doesn't concern the children in that family, doesn't concern me ...

As far as Nigeria is concerned, this pretty much describes the vast majority of marriage so you will be in good company out there.

Kobojunkie:
As far as Nigeria is concerned, this pretty much describes the vast majority of marriage so you will be in good company out there.

...

Puss360:
Lol... For a woman to behave as such to the man that shows she married the man mostly because of his money...
Tides turn... And she shows her true colour....
And things later got better...
The man should divorce the woman on a basis of loveless marriage...
Coz if that marriage continue then the envy and coldness from each of them can kill one of them...

Succinctly put ‼️
Even though you seem to have a different mindset.
But I think women don’t genuinely love, it is men that love women unconditionally. For women, if a man can’t provide, the above is the case.

Fahvvy:
No conversation outside the kids...
No request outside that of the kids...
No attention to give save the kids...

Anything that doesn't concern the children in that family, doesn't concern me ...

You will just kill yourself, by yourself.
You want to play a game where women are the master? You wan die? Ishira laga! 🤣

ArcSEMPECJ:
Your wife is a human being, she is born to disappoint one or two times .....she is no perfect human....

Oh really?
Her actions can be tagged as just mere "disappointment"? ...

Well...
I'm also not perfect, so I'll also disappoint her by giving her a taste of her own medicine ...

mariahAngel:
You will just kill yourself, by yourself.
You want to play a game where women are the master? You wan die? Ishira laga! 🤣

...

Fahvvy:
...

Exactly.

If you don't want to be estranged from your children, don't ever play games (with your family).

mariahAngel:
Exactly.

If you don't want to be estranged from your children, don't ever play games (with your family).

(Sighs) ...

boxypane:
My advice! He shouldn't quit, let's just repay evil for evil. That's much fun. Na to end her ego, end her confidence by marrying and keeping another at a distance and of course, suicide is an option.

No sir, you need to check this discuss in the context of the underlying issues, he has a financial setback and your suggesting marrying another woman? To marry costs money. That will be the last thing on his mind‼️
Except if you mean after bouncing back, which will be UMARU l unnecessary‼️

Persephone1:
How did the man handle his own loss and misfortunes?

Most men struggle to remain the loving, responsible, cheerful and peaceful men they were when they experience setbacks. Most men's mental stability is attached to their ability to provide and spend. How do they react when things don't go the way they want.?

I believe this narrative of women changing when things go sour should be checked. It is far from reality! It is an exaggeration also. There are women who stand by their husbands . At least "your mothers" did that. And when women change was it really due to lack of funds or the inability of both husband and wife to manage themselves.

You all want women to support and also care for an overgrown harsh baby who refused to grow up and work towards overcoming his challenges. Abeg!

he only pointed out a scenario here and didn't say all women behaves like this but u took it too personal and for u to even use our mothers as example shows u tend towards the kind of woman pointed out in his story.

All women are like that... If you find someone who is an anomaly, it's becasue she is naive.

All women have high narcissistic tendencies that was why God needed to hold a meeting to consider creating eve.

Well, in the first place, it's the duty of man to make provision for the family. If the hand of the clock changes and the woman takes up that duty, expect such behaviors as you stated. It takes the grace of God for you to find a woman who will not be guilty of this.
For me and in all honesty, I'll love her again and again and even thank her for holding forth ...
I'll treat her in such a way that she'll be providing for the family without so much grudges. Some of our men who will claim the boss at all times are the cause of the negative behavior. Appreciate her while it lasted

Fahvvy:
Oh really?
Her actions can be tagged as just mere "disappointment"? ...

Well...
I'm also not perfect, so I'll also disappoint her by giving her a taste of her own medicine ...

Sure it works both ways , a perfect marriage should know that no one is perfect and therefore there is always a neutral ground to sort for Peace....

But most importantly, know it that you are not supposed to look at the excesses of your Wife, just look for happiness from God then before your Wife.......e get why....

I mean in relation to issues of finance in the home abeg not other issues.....

There is nothing you do for humans that they will reciprocate 100%..... especially most women. Lols

Tallesty1:
I just watched a clip that inspired this post.

Imagine this scenario.......

You are married to a beautiful woman, and you have like three kids. It is a beautiful family, really.

You have a nice house, a good ride, beautiful children, always selfie-ready wife, and salary alerts keep coming. Then life happens, and you start losing things until nothing is left. No salary, no more savings, and you're officially wiped out by poverty.

Your wife has something she does for a living, makes her own money, and does whatever it is that women do with money. You never cared because you were doing okay, but now the tides have turned.

Naturally, you expect her to provide support while you work harder to regain your footing. But what you are getting from her is something you never knew she was capable of: insults upon insults, disrespect, and all. This lasts for a year or two.

Then, fortune smiles on you again and you get back on your feet. As usual, there is money now, and your wife is the woman you married at first. She is loving again, respectful, and caring.

I want to know, will you still go back to loving her like before, as if the past two years' experience never happened, or are you going to quit?

Even if am mentally unstable nothing will ever join me with that woman again.