Nairaland, please what should I do?

I gave birth 9 months ago and for some reason, my mom never expressed interest in visiting me and my child. She is a new wife now and I heard from some family members that when she wanted to come, her new husband said ‘your daughter has other people around, why are you worrying yourself’.

I did not take it personally at all. My mother has never been a dependable person. Me and my mom still talk everyday and my child is always on her status. This is her ONLY grandchild.

My mom’s elder sister’s (my aunty) youngest child is moving to my area. My aunty said that she’ll visit me during the move, and come and hold baby. She reached out to my mom and even told my mom that if they plan it, they can visit me together. My mom and my aunty are VERY close. I even consider my aunty my second mom in a way.

Suddenly, my mom starts calling me, saying she wants to plan her visit. I say okay. But with work and everything, my aunty will get here before her. She started telling me not to let my aunty into my house, saying that my aunty is a husband snatcher etc. she said my aunty will destroy my home. I tell her I don’t care about that. She started calling their mutual friends and telling them to tell me that my aunty is a husband snatcher. I did not fall for that.

Frustrated, she called my aunty and said that the truth is that my husband is uncomfortable. She said that MY husband is not from our town and that my husband’s people don’t like visitors. She said that I did not tell her about this out of respect.

My aunty called me and was apologizing, saying that she did not know. I responded and said that this is a lie. I even put my husband on the phone. Here’s my mistake - I sent her a screenshot showing my mom saying that she’s a husband snatcher and that’s why I should not let her into my home.

My aunty and I now agreed that we should let peace reign and that she won’t visit. She said she will still like to see me and we can meet somewhere. MATTER SUPPOSE TO END.

My mom decided to bring my aunty husband into this. She told my auntys husband that his wife is not respecting my husband’s wishes. My auntys husband now sent her my screenshot saying that he knows the real reason and that your child doesn’t even support you.

The screenshot has shattered my mom. She feels betrayed. My siblings who live with my mother are calling me a betrayer. I want to salvage the relationship between my siblings and I, not so much my mother. I have not spoken to any of them since the screenshot.

What do I do? How do I approach this.

This is serious

This family problem too strong,na ancestors fit solve am

So upon all the wahala Ebola has subjected us to nah who go come hold baby be una own problem.



Nah wa o.

Just ignore all of them for now. Time will surely heal all concerned!!

Simply tell them that your weakness is that you are incapable of lies and secrecy. That if they have a secret, they should understand you can not help them keep therefore you are not interested in their games.

Be bold, and they will respect you for it.

Just ignore them. Your mum isn't around for you, and she doesn't want anyone else too be.
What kind of mum does that?! As for your siblings, kindly ignore them.
Didn't they saw what your mum did? Why can't they rebuke her on it? But they are putting the blame on you.

And for your aunty, she may not be visiting you often like before, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be on good terms with her. Even if it is by calls. Don't let your mum come between your relationship with her.

You have a kid and your family to take care of . So don't feel frustrated by any of them.

Family wahala no be small tin


Visit them, explain tins to them, make them see reasons why you acted that way and apologized them. If they are not responding well leave and give them time dey will come back to you

Iru family wo ni eleyi?

Your mum's not a dependable person and she calls her sister; husband snatcher?

Eleyi gidigan...

Smh

Women

Wahala starts and ends with Women. 😄

Premium Be Unto You
the deed has been done already, I think you should just look for someone who both can respect to settle it and admit that it is all your fault for peace to reign.

You have let ur husband know too much about your family

He may hurt you with this information

TheBillyonaire:

Simply tell them that your weakness is that you are incapable of lies and secrecy. That if they have a secret, they should understand you can not help them keep therefore you are not interested in their games.

Be bold, and they will respect you for it.

Apt

My interest is in your aunty. Did she ever snatch anybody's husband?

FaceTanke:
You have let ur husband know too much about your family

He may hurt you with this information

Some mother's are from the pit of hell. I've met boys and girls that share horrible things and don't want their mum around.

OmugwoAunty:
Nairaland, please what should I do?

I gave birth 9 months ago and for some reason, my mom never expressed interest in visiting me and my child. She is a new wife now and I heard from some family members that when she wanted to come, her new husband said ‘your daughter has other people around, why are you worrying yourself’.

I did not take it personally at all. My mother has never been a dependable person. Me and my mom still talk everyday and my child is always on her status. This is her ONLY grandchild.

My mom’s elder sister’s (my aunty) youngest child is moving to my area. My aunty said that she’ll visit me during the move, and come and hold baby. She reached out to my mom and even told my mom that if they plan it, they can visit me together. My mom and my aunty are VERY close. I even consider my aunty my second mom in a way.

Suddenly, my mom starts calling me, saying she wants to plan her visit. I say okay. But with work and everything, my aunty will get here before her. She started telling me not to let my aunty into my house, saying that my aunty is a husband snatcher etc. she said my aunty will destroy my home. I tell her I don’t care about that. She started calling their mutual friends and telling them to tell me that my aunty is a husband snatcher. I did not fall for that.

Frustrated, she called my aunty and said that the truth is that my husband is uncomfortable. She said that MY husband is not from our town and that my husband’s people don’t like visitors. She said that I did not tell her about this out of respect.

My aunty called me and was apologizing, saying that she did not know. I responded and said that this is a lie. I even put my husband on the phone. Here’s my mistake - I sent her a screenshot showing my mom saying that she’s a husband snatcher and that’s why I should not let her into my home.

My aunty and I now agreed that we should let peace reign and that she won’t visit. She said she will still like to see me and we can meet somewhere. MATTER SUPPOSE TO END.

My mom decided to bring my aunty husband into this. She told my auntys husband that his wife is not respecting my husband’s wishes. My auntys husband now sent her my screenshot saying that he knows the real reason and that your child doesn’t even support you.

The screenshot has shattered my mom. She feels betrayed. My siblings who live with my mother are calling me a betrayer. I want to salvage the relationship between my siblings and I, not so much my mother. I have not spoken to any of them since the screenshot.

What do I do? How do I approach this.

Nlfpmod, lalasticlala, mynd44, seun

Rarely ever comment on family matters, but I dont feel you did well by your mother. Revealing a thing she told you privately was wrong, worse, screenshoting what she said and revealing it. That was very very bad, you threw your own mother under the bus. Find a way to recognize that and make apologies.

Even if she wasnt your mother what you did rather sucks.

The truth is that you did betray your mother, you exposed her in the worst ways. Additionally, you have no backbone and don’t know how to stand up for yourself. You lack diplomacy skills and you should work on yourself.

Apologise to your mother and hold your auntie accountable for exposing you to your mother too. But since you’re incapable of doing any of this, you should just be quiet, ignore everybody, and focus on your own family and work. Time will heal and you’ll get another chance to do better.

Dysfunctional family.

Use your family members to appeal to her

Use your family members to appeal to her or talk to the most respected persons she likes

This Omugwo of a thing, is it mandatory?

I'm asking for a friend residing in Australia.

This matter hard o... I no even know where to start to judge.
This matter can only be settled by the Nigerian supreme court....

Allow your aunty to come, then tell your mother to go to court.

.

Are you saying that your mum is also newly married?

Family especially parents conversations should not screenshot. The rationale behind your action is what I am trying to comprehend and this shows your level of weakness which needs to be worked on asap. It is wrong and demeaning to have exposed your mother in that vein to extended family members

On the other hand, you know the character of your mother and henceforth apply wisdom and keep decent level of secrecy to invite and choose not to invite to visit your home. Best bet now is not to invite any member of your extended family still the situation subside. Keep your home safe ma!

Is it by force to do omugwo?

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This case is very complicated!

Typical Case of women . condemning supporting women.

Meanwhile, how many years old women are we talking about here?

This is way too childish tbh

This issue will not be solved as long as only women are actively involved.

By the way, you didn't say anything about your dad. What about him?

If your dad isn't late, involve him and/or the wisest elderly men in your family. They will arrange a meeting where everyone involved should be present.

Unfortunately, the only man involved in this issue (your aunt's husband) didn't apply wisdom at all. Even his wife acted more maturely.