I lost my brother early last month and I have been unsettled and paranoid. He visited us a day before and he was healthy and hearty only for us to hear of his death the next day which was on Sunday.

He was admitted in the Hospital, on the bases that he was short of blood. He took 4/5 pants of blood and stayed 1/2 weeks before he was discharged and that only made him live for a month or so.

I want to know more about his death, exactly what happened. His wife is someone who didn't relate well with us (in laws) and she distanced my brother from us, while he objectively did as well.

This wife didn't visit my mum throughout her stay in the hospital for more than 3 months before my mum passed on a year ago. When I visited the hospital where my brother was rushed to being the same place he was admitted, they told me that he must have been bothered about somethings, and that the drugs he was given parts were hypertensive, that he stopped taking the drugs and all those excuses.

I was informed by the nurses that my brother has been suffering from insomnia, he hardly sleeps in nights and if he does, it's just few hours. All these things, the wife didn't tell us anything.

Now, I want to take the fight to her. I need her to tell me exactly what transpired, how did it happen! She's been in 40 days mandatory sit-at-home stuff and I can't wait to sit her ass down and interrogate her.

Should I get her arrested for questioning by the police?

Modified

Allow the woman to mourn her husband in peace abeg, you say your brother no near una, why you want pour your frustrations on her?
No disturb her with una family wahala

dboY1123:
I lost my brother early last month and I have been unsettled and paranoid. He visited us a day before and he was healthy and hearty only for us to hear of his death the next day which was on Sunday.
He was admitted in the Hospital, on the bases that he was short of blood. He took 4/5 pants of blood and stayed 1/2 weeks before he was discharged and that only made him live for a month or so.
I want to know more about his death, exactly what happened. His wife is someone who didn't relate well with us(in laws) and she distanced my brother from us, while he objectively did as well. This wife didn't visit my mum throughout her stay in the hospital for more than 3 months before my mum passed on a year ago. When I visited the hospital where my brother was rushed to being the same place he was admitted, they told me that he must have been bothered about somethings, and that the drugs he was given parts were hypertensive, that he stopped taking the drugs and all those excuses.
I was informed by the nurses that my brother has been suffering from insomnia, he hardly sleeps in nights and if he does, it's just few hours. All these things, the wife didn't tell us anything.
Now, I want to take the right to her. I need her to tell me exactly what transpired, how did it happen! She's been in 40days mandatory sit-at-home stuff and I can't wait to sit her ass down and interrogate her.
Should I get her arrested for questioning by the police?

A woman is mourning her husband and is in grief, and this is what you're thinking about?
Why not take the body for autopsy and let his wife have peace!!!

dboY1123:
I lost my brother early last month and I have been unsettled and paranoid. He visited us a day before and he was healthy and hearty only for us to hear of his death the next day which was on Sunday.
He was admitted in the Hospital, on the bases that he was short of blood. He took 4/5 pants of blood and stayed 1/2 weeks before he was discharged and that only made him live for a month or so.
I want to know more about his death, exactly what happened. His wife is someone who didn't relate well with us(in laws) and she distanced my brother from us, while he objectively did as well. This wife didn't visit my mum throughout her stay in the hospital for more than 3 months before my mum passed on a year ago. When I visited the hospital where my brother was rushed to being the same place he was admitted, they told me that he must have been bothered about somethings, and that the drugs he was given parts were hypertensive, that he stopped taking the drugs and all those excuses.
I was informed by the nurses that my brother has been suffering from insomnia, he hardly sleeps in nights and if he does, it's just few hours. All these things, the wife didn't tell us anything.
Now, I want to take the fight to her. I need her to tell me exactly what transpired, how did it happen! She's been in 40days mandatory sit-at-home stuff and I can't wait to sit her ass down and interrogate her.
Should I get her arrested for questioning by the police?
Modified

My condolences.
You do not need to wait to sit her down.
Get an autopsy done asap. Your questions will be answered.
If you want to wait 40 days to find out what killed your brother you are being crafty.

In as much as I hate toxic inlaws please women should learn never to cause division in a family. Women should be a bridge, a peacemaker and have that forgiven spirit. Know where to put your leg and when to hide your head. He's just your husband and not your property, stop colonising men away from their family just because he has married you. Be a unifier, a peacemaker and above all an IYAEBE.

Get an autopsy done bro we're in the 21st century...
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What exactly do you intend to achieve by arresting her?

Or rather, what will you tell the police that you want to arrest her for?

Move on from her and let time heal your wounds.

Just sha try take care of your nieces and nephews

People with BP related issues could look healthy in the morning and be dead in the evening.

Allow the woman to mourn her husband, if you smell any foul play run an autopsy.

dboY1123:
I lost my brother early last month and I have been unsettled and paranoid. He visited us a day before and he was healthy and hearty only for us to hear of his death the next day which was on Sunday.
He was admitted in the Hospital, on the bases that he was short of blood. He took 4/5 pants of blood and stayed 1/2 weeks before he was discharged and that only made him live for a month or so.
I want to know more about his death, exactly what happened. His wife is someone who didn't relate well with us(in laws) and she distanced my brother from us, while he objectively did as well. This wife didn't visit my mum throughout her stay in the hospital for more than 3 months before my mum passed on a year ago. When I visited the hospital where my brother was rushed to being the same place he was admitted, they told me that he must have been bothered about somethings, and that the drugs he was given parts were hypertensive, that he stopped taking the drugs and all those excuses.
I was informed by the nurses that my brother has been suffering from insomnia, he hardly sleeps in nights and if he does, it's just few hours. All these things, the wife didn't tell us anything.
Now, I want to take the fight to her. I need her to tell me exactly what transpired, how did it happen! She's been in 40days mandatory sit-at-home stuff and I can't wait to sit her ass down and interrogate her.
Should I get her arrested for questioning by the police?
Modified

first you guys should have done a thorough autopsy to figure out exactly what he died of... before accusing the wife, just because you didnt like her.

Op, sorry about the demise of your brother.

As for me oo..., Them NEVER burn that woman well make she separate me from my family. Except me deliberately choose to distance myself from them.

Your brother probably killed himself.

Throughout last year,I had BP and it was caused by lack of sleep and I was lucky to have met several doctors who refused to give me High blood pressure drugs.

Their reasons were simple,u are too young to take this drug for life.
One of the doctors advised me to always drink enough water,rest and sleep very well and went ahead to give me one cap of sleeping med.

That automatically changed my life...the BP dropped to normal till this very day.


In this case,arresting her would not change anything as u have not established any reason to pin your brothers death to her.

Lastly,nothing u do now would ever change the situation on ground.

Your brother is gone and may God accept his soul and bring peace upon the family,pls,don't create any problem rather try and broker peace in the family for the sake of your brothers children.

dboY1123:
■ Now, I want to take the fight to her. I need her to tell me exactly what transpired, how did it happen! She's been in 40days mandatory sit-at-home stuff and I can't wait to sit her ass down and interrogate her.
■ Should I get her arrested for questioning by the police?
Modified

1. OP, all this here, sadly, na story you dey tell. If you are not willing to have an autopsy done to find out exactly why your brother died, you are just on a witch-hunt.

2. Hopefully, Nigerian police aren't gullible enough to arrest her without evidence and just these stories of yours.

Go have an autopsy done and should leave her alone to mourn her husband as she figures out how to move on with the kids he left behind.

Your late brother didn't tell you anything, why heap it on the wife?

Stop counting scores, both real and imagined but if you insist, just know you are very likely going to get estranged from your late brother's children and you can't force a relationship with them as kids and when they become adults.

Hezzyluv:
Op, sorry about the demise of your brother.

As for me oo..., Them NEVER burn that woman well make she separate me from my family. Except me deliberately choose to distance myself from them.

Imagine a strange woman turning me against or from my lovely mother. God forbid. if na jazz sef, they said love conquers all and I'm sure the love I've got towards my mum would nutralize any jazz confidently.

My condolences, OP.


Couldn't the Hospital ascertain the cause of death? They should've been able to tell. A human being cannot just die and you were not told what happened. If they didn't do their due diligence, you can ask for an autopsy.

Stay strong.

I am trying to understand the various aspects of your post however, here are my comments:

dboY1123:
I lost my brother early last month and I have been unsettled and paranoid. He visited us a day before and he was healthy and hearty only for us to hear of his death the next day which was on Sunday.
He was admitted in the Hospital, on the bases that he was short of blood. He took 4/5 pants of blood and stayed 1/2 weeks before he was discharged and that only made him live for a month or so.
I want to know more about his death, exactly what happened. His wife is someone who didn't relate well with us(in laws) and she distanced my brother from us, while he objectively did as well. This wife didn't visit my mum throughout her stay in the hospital for more than 3 months before my mum passed on a year ago. When I visited the hospital where my brother was rushed to being the same place he was admitted, they told me that he must have been bothered about somethings, and that the drugs he was given parts were hypertensive, that he stopped taking the drugs and all those excuses.

She and her husband decided to distance themselves from the family and you are trying to push the blame on her. If your brother for the sake of whatever it was decided to agree with his wife on distancing the family, that isn't her business. That said, she not visiting your mom before she passed and your brother passing (May God rest their soul), isn't her fault in its entirety and you could have asked her why she didn't visit your mom if that mattered to you while your brother was alive.

That he was bothered about things and was suffering from HBP, what response do you want to hear from the wife on that? That he, as a man decided to neglect his medication could be an act of faith or rebellion or whatever it meant to him you needed her to come report him to you? Are you expecting the wife to take the medication for him or force him to take the medication? Do you have an idea if that was one major cause of argument in their home? Just let things be and let her mourn her husband and you too mourn your brother in peace.

dboY1123:
I was informed by the nurses that my brother has been suffering from insomnia, he hardly sleeps in nights and if he does, it's just few hours. All these things, the wife didn't tell us anything.

While it wouldn't be bad if the wife had told you, you still can't blame her for not telling you what was going on in their home. It was their home and they have every right to manage it the way they thought best of it. She owes none of you an explanation of what was going on in their home and you should respect that. Don't start looking for what is not missing thereby, disturbing your own peace.

Most importantly, if your brother did not tell you, why were you expecting a 3rd party to tell you? Can you look inwards to realize the dynamics you are trying to portray wasn't even there from the word go? Your brother couldn't tell you his challenges and here you are trying to make it look like someone else's duty? Biko, respect yourself and don't go lose the little respect his family has for you.

dboY1123:
Now, I want to take the fight to her. I need her to tell me exactly what transpired, how did it happen! She's been in 40days mandatory sit-at-home stuff and I can't wait to sit her ass down and interrogate her.
Should I get her arrested for questioning by the police?
Modified

On this last one, I guess you are about setting out to disgrace yourself. If you arrest her or interrogate her, what are you expecting to hear? Oga, face front, focus on your business, and if you want to be the good uncle you are trying to be, find ways to be involved in the life of your late brother's children with the consent of the wife. Don't create unnecessary tension that would deny you access of standing as a father figure to the best of your ability for the children. Please, be the uncle your brother would appreciate you are to his children.

Offpointng:
When we tell Guys dont marry a woman your family ain't confidently in agreement with they'd bring up a real man this and that. Now this is one of the results, The Wife will move on in couple of weeks while the pain stays with the real family for a long time

Guys out there you really need to wake up tbh cuz I can't seem to understand how a woman would easily turn you from the Parent and Siblings you spent virtually most of ur life with

Before you start ranting and blaming a woman you have no idea what role she's played in what you read, have you asked yourself why the brother is not even telling his brother things? Is his wife with him 24/7? There's more to issues like this than you can tell.

Lord be merciful! All these troublesome stressful inlaws sef! Oga you should have ordered autopsy nau instead of wondering why the wife didnt disclose her husband's health challenges to you before his demise. Your brother nko? Was he a child to have kept the info from you too or he simply wanted his privacy? Adults do as they please with their lives o, butt out of their business biko! Somehow,I can guess the tribe you're from. You guys think once your sibling marries, his wife is answerable to you! Iranu!

Meanwhile, may God rest your brother well.

GboyegaD:


Before you start ranting and blaming a woman you have no idea what role she's played in what you read, have you asked yourself why the brother is not even telling his brother things? Is his wife with him 24/7? There's more to issues like this than you can tell.

When reading always put intuition into it (no vex boss). if both of us used to be a very good friend or Gee and a guy from no where snatch me from you that I begin to avoid or limit the way I relate with you. if one day, that from no where guy one day steal my things or fraud me, You think I'll be confident enough to tell you so you can mock me?? That's the case of what happened to OP's brother. The wife detached him from the family and telling them what he's going through in the hands of the wife will only bring mock and the blame "Didn't we warn you?" thereby escalating his regrets

The Op's brother knew he bleeped up and figured it's his cross to carry which he did silently

Offpointng:
■ When reading always put intuition into it (no vex boss). if both of us used to be a very good friend or Gee and a guy from no where snatch me from you that I begin to avoid or limit the way I relate with you. if one day, that from no where guy one day steal my things or fraud me, You think I'll be confident enough to tell you so you can mock me?? That's the case of what happened to OP's brother. The wife detached him from the family and telling them what he's going through in the hands of the wife will only bring mock and the blame "Didn't we warn you?" thereby escalating his regrets

The Op's brother knew he bleeped up and figured it's his cross to carry which he did silently

1. How does a woman go about detaching a grown man from his own family without the man himself agreeing to be detached from them? Cell phone, email, speedy mail, flight, car... if a man wants to stay in contact with his family, there are so many ways for him to do that in this day and age. So Make una dead these nonsense claims of old abeg. It never made sense back then and it still doesn't.

Offpointng:


When reading always put intuition into it (no vex boss). if both of us used to be a very good friend or Gee and a guy from no where snatch me from you that I begin to avoid or limit the way I relate with you. if one day, that from no where guy one day steal my things or fraud me, You think I'll be confident enough to tell you so you can mock me?? That's the case of what happened to OP's brother. The wife detached him from the family and telling them what he's going through in the hands of the wife will only bring mock and the blame "Didn't we warn you?" thereby escalating his regrets

The Op's brother knew he bleeped up and figured it's his cross to carry which he did silently

As a married person and with my relationship with friends who are married, many would agree that when one party separates his/herself from others because of marriage, the person actually wanted to and the spouse which we think is responsible just gave the person the courage s/he needed before now. Your community/family is key and nothing can separate you except you want to be separated.

Op this was you less than a year ago

dboY1123:
I'll be brief and precise, I finished my nysc this year but before I began my nysc programme I have started a small business, and I was serious with it, dedicated and trustworthy.. I gained customers in no time and things started moving the right way.. This year, February my mum started this illness, though she's been experiencing it for a while(we didn't know it's heart failure related), later in April she passed on, I'm the last born but my elder siblings didn't show much care towards her so I had to spend my money, part of my allowance to take care of her little....

@bolded was it your brother's wife that prevented your other siblings from being there for your mother? That's the thing with siblings of married men, they find it very convenient to blame the wife as if their brother is some kind of puppet. Only God knows the kind of resentment you and the other members of your family showed her. Possibly the reason she didn't come to visit your mum or why your brother unconsciously distanced himself from the rest of your family. Imagine threatening to arrest a grieving widow because she didn't tell you her husband was sick, i wish the woman can come here to recount what she passed through in the hands of these in-laws from hell.

Allow the woman, It is too late. Your broda nah pikin, that couldn't speak up or take a break ? He brought a Woods infested with termites home. I don't know your states , but where I come from the death of your brother is something that happens when a wife isn't at peace with the mother inlaw until death. Few months the mother will definitely come for her son who couldn't chastise his wife. Simply put "your mother took your brother " He could have remedy himself by sending her away, that their was the only option.
Before arguing, we recently let go of a woman who behaved similarly to her mother inlaw. Suddenly the Young man began emaciating and definitely hospital called it hypertension with plenty drugs. Good enough we his cousins knew tradition and we acted swiftly. Was a tough one, she refused leaving ,despite knowing the consequences.
Your family had the chance of an Autopsy. As it is no matter what she tells you it will definitely sounds like Greek to your ear, because your mind have been conditioned to hear something else.
Your family should count your loss and move on...
The dead man choosed to kill himself because he will definitely have dreams of death and constantly seeing his mother.

What did your family do to make her distance herself from you guys? Were you nice to her?


And what did the death certificate say killed your brother?

Why do you want to arrest her?

Shokoloko:

My condolences.
You do not need to wait to sit her down.
Get an autopsy done asap. Your questions will be answered.
If you want to wait 40 days to find out what killed your brother you are being crafty.

The answer is already up there. He said his brother refused to take his hypertensive drugs and he's looking for someone to blame.

Stupid OP.

She "didn't separate your brother" ,your brother wanted the separation.

Run Autopsy and/or allow the woman mourn in peace.

In all,if you are doing this to get his properties (if he had any) ,it would be a really,very futile battle.

My condolences.

dominique:
Op this was you less than a year ago



@bolded was it your brother's wife that prevented your other siblings from being there for your mother? That's the thing with siblings of married men, they find it very convenient to blame the wife as if their brother is some kind of puppet. Only God knows the kind of resentment you and the other members of your family showed her. Possibly the reason she didn't come to visit your mum or why your brother unconsciously distanced himself from the rest of your family. Imagine threatening to arrest a grieving widow because she didn't tell you her husband was sick, i wish the woman can come here to recount what she passed through in the hands of these in-laws from hell.

Besides, this shows that they have a particular hereditary ailment in their family. He didnt mention father, his mom is dead, his brother is gone.... may God keep the rest of them healthy.

"mandatory forty days sit at home"

I don't know where you come from but I see why your brother and his wife distanced themselves from you folks

Autopsy pls...

Know this and know peace ..A wise man said:

Women prefer to be Widows than Divorcees. Government and everyone pity and support Widows, but no one cares about a Divorcee...you'll rather hear she can not even stay in her Husband's house, etc etc.